We were having a discussion of religion today at work (I know, it's saturday. We all had to work anyway. Go Army!). Being a "non-believer" I of course had plenty to say. Topic of discussion centered around being "born-again" and the differences therein between various religions. 

I usually quite enjoy discussions of the sort...being a non conformist I've never taken any religion and called it my own...I've always tried to create a synthethis of various components of organied religion, my own views on doghma, and my own personal life experiences. A while ago I came to the conclusion that, while I couldn't bring myself to believe in a personified diety, per se, I could not deny the existance of some sort of spiritual energy...a river of souls, if you will, much like the brahman/ahtman belief...although there is no karma and no true "reincarnation". Life is eternal in that it cycles through, over and over. Once I die, for example, whatever non-physical portion of myself returns to this river of souls and awaits a new physical body to imbue with life. It's kind of a elegant way to look at it, I guess.

After we had this discussion at work (we had a power outtage so we all sat around and talked under the E-lights until the e-gens kicked in), during I of course proposed my standard "you can't accept religion part and participle, you must always question it, and your own faith", I got to thinking on my own again...

and god DAMNIT but I still don't have water. They shut it off earlier today during the planned power outtage but it is STILL not back on (it was 'sposed to be back on 7 hours ago). I need to take a fucking shit. grrrrrrrrr! 

Hmmm ok so that's NOT what I was a I was thinking earlier. sorry 'bout that.

Anyway. I was thinking...what a pile of crap! (pun intended) I don't really believe in a "river of souls". I believe that when you die, you die...worm-meat here I come. I don't believe in ghosts or karma or souls or angels or anything spiritual. I use the words spirit, and soul, to mean something that is truly fine within a human being--compassion, creativity, love, beauty...I don't mean to imply I believe in the standard religious definitions...

So I think for a while I was just saying I believe that because it sounded good, was something to show that I wasn't a total atheist, that I did have some belief in a "higher" or "outside" force...but I was just being delusional.

And I was thinking about "the beginning" too, the whole, "out of a void, came something" idea...and really...who cares? The biggest reason people want to know where we've COME from is because they want some insight on where they're GOING. Well, golly, if you ask me, it's simple. If we came from nothing, just MAYBE you think that's where we're going? Does it really matter? I've never been particually concerned with where I've come from. If I was I would have tracked down my ancestry in Eastern Europe, find out where the Vomacka name came from...but honestly, I don't really care. I'm not European, I have nothing holding me there, nothing to really stake a foothold too, and I prefer it that way. I've got enough living in the present, why bother with the past? I mean, yeah, it adds a little culture and some perspective I suppose...but I've got my own way of experiencing culture and have gotten plenty enough perspective as it is. Where I've come from just doesn't interest me, bottom line. Maybe it's because I'm unafraid of where I'm going...because, really, believing there is nothing besides an Earthly Life is a rather comforting thought. I don't have to concern myself with eternal enlightenment or salvation/damnation. I don't need to worry about fullfilling my "ultimate purpose" or discovery of the "meaning of life" (though I have my own ideas on the latter). By believing my end lies in an urn...

Of course...I don't pretend that I am right and my religious friends are wrong. What I believe is right for me, just as what they believe is right for them. I do believe that underneath all this belief hoopla, there is a standard set of guidelines, rules even, to live a good, harmonious life. Our laws pretty much govern us along those lines...some of the ten commandmants govern us along those lines. It's all common sense stuff really, and it falls down to a single premise I suppose...that all too cliche golden rule. 

Yup, that's the one; "He who has the gold makes the rules." 

Current mood:  contemplative.
Current music: Tori _venus, live..._. 

banzooken 
2002-03-10 14:04
Heh, delayed reaction... but I just realized you added me as a friend... I should check these things more often, look what I would have missed out on.

Anyways. Though I cannot say I agree with everything you said, I will say I respect it. The most wonderful thing you said though was this, "What I believe is right for me, just as what they believe is right for them."
I loved that because thats what I have said for a long time... kinda, "there is no one true way." I know I have a very odd set of beliefs, but its what is right for me, and other people believe whats right for them and I think thats wonderful.

Eh, anyways... glad to have you as a new friend ;) 

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