a) How long do I wait before I give up on ever getting a measure of closure from her?

b) To what end would a friendship serve us?

Corollary Number One: Will I ever even see her again?

Corollary Number Two: Has anything changed for her since I told her I'm going to therapy?

Corollary Number Three: If she did want to rebuild anything, would it be relegated to the only the most basic level of friendship? Could I be happy with that?

c) Can she...or DOES she read my journal still? without the renewed pains of loss reading hers gives me? (I've spent three weeks away from hers tonight...or is it tomorrow night?)

d) Do her friends monitor this journal for her?

e) Why did she give up on me so quickly...just a few days into my visit?

Corollary Number One: DID she give up, that soon, like I now think she did?

f) Does her silence say this doesn't even mean half to her what it does to me...or does it imply it affects her just as much or more?

These are the questions that I'd like to fight away...but I've never put them down before, not here, not on paper. Maybe now that I can put a voice to these thoughts...I can let them go... 

current mood:  confused
current music: Dave Navarro _Trust No One_  

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