Chris Schneider, the boy I work at the golf course, a boy I would call a friend, got expelled from high school yesterday.  To make it short, a girl he had wooed for a long while, despite her father's dissaproval, had refused to go out when he asked her.  This is all according to him, I have no other source of information, but he said that he told her he was going to kill himself, and he really did try.  He bought a .357 magnum from a gang-banger friend, a gun that later turned out to be stolen.  He was going to bring it to school, and said so, but apparently did not.  He did, however, bring a knife, and, when the girl told administrators about his intentions, he was searched, along with his car, and the knife was found.  The gun, thankfully, he left at home.  However, he was still expelled.  His father later found the gun  and turned it in. It surprises me that his father did this, as he is usually far too lax with his son, one reason Chris is the way he is.  Chris was charged with numerous counts, and later attempted to committ suicide anyway, by swallowing a whole bottle of aspirin.  The attempt failed, as he must have been discovered, and he had his stomach pumped.  By his word, he wasn't shaken by any of the whole incident, except the part about having his stomach pumped, which he said "really sucked".  Other than that, when I spoke to him over the phone, he didn't seem upset or distressed, or anything, like nothing was really out of the ordinary.  Actually, no, wait, I take that back.  He did seem a little more soft spoken than normal, quiter, less rambunctious.  I told him I was planning to go to Rocktopia tommorrow, and asked him if he would like to go, especially if the rain kept me from working.  He indicated interest, and I think it would be good for him, to take his mind of whatever thoughts he might have about the incident.  My heart beats heavy however, strained by his story, for I do not see a world of light or sunshine for my friend. With the attempted murder of his mom, which he was just recently arraigned for-facing a $10,000 fine and probation and counseling for several years, alone-then with this on top.  For him, the count, in a baseball sense, in 0 and 2.  By law, this whole incident could very well count for his second strike, in the three strike law, where one more would send him to jail for life.  While none of this phases Chris, I can tell it doesn't, this is something that could really hurt him if not just now, later on in life.  Forever branded a criminal, a convict, his life is plunged in to a radical tail spin from which there is almost no chance of escape.  I fear my friend will find himseld either dead of violent means at a very young age or locked away to spend his life behind bars.  What surprises me is the relative calm I feel about all this.  I know most of it is due in part to the calmness Chris has displayed and I can only hope I am way over reacting; even though I don't think so.  I truly hope that all this is just a joke or a bad dream, but I don't think so.  Everything that has happened is realistic, and something I know Chris could and probably would do.  Maybe the courts and justice will go easy with him, due to the attempted suicide, and apparant delusion-temporary insanity.  Perhaps he will not go to jail, as I kept thinking while on the phone-even saying.  If he wasn't so calm about it all, I never would have said it, would have felt the need to nurture him, to console him, but he was so calm, I thought it was ok.  Looking back, that was wrong to do that, and I wish I had not .

All things considered, Chris's story changes perceptions in me.  Once, a few months ago, I got the idea that a criminal was not such a terrible person-simply one would couldn't make it in our present day "system", or was a "reformer" if you will, trying to live outside the system, but unable too, locked inside, just as he/she may one day be locked behind bars, with no other avenue but crime.  Unfortunetly, we see that as wrong, because it hurts our system-different, like homosexuality.  Unlike homosexuality, and "gay-bashing", a fairly recent product of our American society, crime and criminals have been blasted since the birth of crime.  Could it be that criminals are, for the most part, simply incapable of living in our system-prime examples of metaphysics at work, living in their own reality, or trying to, or are most just as we see them, blood thirsty dirty, scoundrals who know better, can function in our society, but seek not too.  Our whole American punishment system is based on this fact, that people are redeamable, because they know the difference, or, taken alone, can function as a greased cog in the machine, rather than a missing tooth cog and grinding it's way to destroying the whole machine.  What if, however, everyone is wrong-that criminals have no other options, cannot function as "usefull" members of society, and that redemption of them is impossible.  Current facts about prison overpopulation and the return of released prisoners to crime seem to suggest this.  There are several explanations for a return to crime, but all that I see center around the inability to function in today's majority society.  My friend Chris, is, I feel, in this dilemna.  I don't feel he is redeamable, but neither do I think he is a truly horrible person.  Oftentimes, he is truly a good person, a functioning member of my society, oftentimes he is not.  To force him to subdue either part is impossible.  It is simply a matter of seeing which side, criminal and dissident, or citizen and supporter of society, will gain the most control.  In Hesse's Steppenwolfe, the main character, the steppenwolfe, states man cannot be described as one or two entities, only as thousands, but for this, I need not describe all of the person, simply that which stands for following the law and societies tennants, and that which does not.  While that which falls in neither and that which sits the fence will be important in determing which side gains control, they do not immediately influence his actions.  While true, there are other sides besides criminal and citizen, in this case, they matter little in a description in Chris, or in any criminal, as a matter of fact.

So, thus, we have come to a question.  Who is right? The criminal, or society, Chris, or the world?  I say both.  Both live their own rules, both follow their own tennats.  Why can both not exist, perhaps not in harmony, perhaps even neccessarily physically seperated, as well as pyscologically.  Chris had once, a few months ago, been hard on the idea of creating his own refuge for people like himself, a theme park, if you will, where there would be no laws, no prohibitions like those in the society it is seperate from.  He called this non-existant island simple Anarchist Island.  In reality, it is not seperate, it simply is not a physical place, and is represented in the minds of those people malcontent with society and it's pressures.  If stretched a bit, it can be argued that it does exist outside the psyche of "criminals", but is indeed the entire planet, overlapping, intermingling, joined with the modern societies-I say societies, because all have their criminals, and have at least this one thing in common.  What Chris dreamed to do was to buy an island somewhere, and let people come to act out their dissidence with the world, to be free to do as they pleased, to live as they wished, etc.  Then, I laughed, and scoffed at what I thought was a moronic idea.  Now, especially in light of all that I have just said, and all the thought it entails, I must think twice. Why must society force the malcontent to stay?  It only invites dissidence.  If we were to let all live as they wished, either with us as our neighbors, or elsewhere if they chose not to live our ways, what wrong could occur.  Would they attack us to steal our things, kill our people, rape the women, etc.?  I don't think so, for I think all our crime is a result of many having nothing else to turn to.  If these people had their own island, or continent would be better, they could live out their life as they could, as they needed, and wouldn't have to interfere with ours.  Even if they did, how much worse could it be than present dat strife.  Even the threat of nuclear war, the most devastating form of threat we can conjure, has already been experienced, and has even ended-The Cold War following the end of WWII to the end of the 1980's and the Fall of Communism-particually the U.S.S.R.  As far as metaphysics is concerned, it would work.  I doubt many would agree with my philosophy. Regardless, I "pray" for my friend, and for the life he has undertaken.  May he survive to live a long and fruitfall life, much as I see how impossible it may now be for him.