Seventeen>>>The Music Lives
The next day I am kneeling in the living room beside Zoe’s dollhouse.
“Emily,” I say in my best high-pitched, girly voice. “Come downstairs for breakfast.”
Zoe decided I would be the mother in the family. So much for my transformation. Mom had to go grocery shopping and had to take my little brother to get some new indoor-soccer shoes so she asked me to baby-sit. Being the nice older brother that I am, I obliged.
“Coming mom! Get out of my way stupid big brother Joey!” Zoe says, making her little dollhouse person run down the little dollhouse stairs into the little dollhouse kitchen. “Mom, my brothers are so stupid.” She makes her doll say.
I cannot help but wonder what kind of environment she’s grown up in to make her think this is typical family dynamics. I don’t know whether to be worried or laugh. I hear someone pull up in the driveway and silently thank God. I jump up and jog over to the door. I think I see Harper through the glass on the side of the front door. I frown out of confusion and open up the door.
“Why are you frowning at me?” She asks, walking over to me and holding something out.
“Just confused why you’re here…” I tell her, “Not that I don’t want you here!”
“Why- should I not be?”
“Nope, I just wasn’t expecting to you.” I lean in and kiss her, something we’ve been doing a lot of lately when we first see each other. I think we feel it confirms our relationship. We’ve never officially decided to date- but it’s slowly became obvious that is the route we’re following. “What’s this?” I say, nodding at the bag she placed in my hand.
“Open it,” she says, watching me expectantly. I hate gifts. Opening gifts is the most awkward thing in the entire world. It’s one thing if you hate the gift. Then you just want to die on the spot. You can tell your smile gives it all away. But there are times when you actually do like the gift but still don’t know what to say. “Wow, this is so neat” or “Hey, thanks so much!” just sound so fake even when you’re being honest.
I open the bag and peak in suspiciously.
“Careful, it might bite.” She grins.
I grin back at her and pull a book out. A Confederacy of Dunces.
“Hey, you mentioned this didn’t you?” I ask
“Yeah, I wanted you to read it so I picked it up for you. I’d give you my copy, but it’s too precious to me.”
I smile and use this as the perfect opportunity to get to kiss her again. I kiss her and pat the book, “Thanks Harp. I appreciate it. I will tell you what I think as soon as I start it.”
“Oh you better,” she says, and then waves. What?
“What are you doing here?” I hear Zoe’s voice say from behind me.
“Dropping something off to your brother. How are you….Zoe?” Harper replied
“I’m fine, spending time with my brother.”
“Come on in,” I tell Harper, stepping aside. I know Zoe is trying to give her hints to leave but quite frankly I would enjoy a dollhouse break.
Harper looked back and forth between Zoe and I before saying, hesitantly, “I really shouldn’t Tay. You two look like you were having a fun time and…”
I take her arm and lead her inside. “Don’t be silly. If you’re going to come all the way out to my house you’re going to at least come further than my driveway.”
“She came onto the front steps,” Zoe retorts from behind me and I roll my eyes, turning giving her a warning look. Since when did six year olds learn to be so smart? When I was young my best insult was a combination of a “bathroom term” and the word “head”.
“I was making Zo and I hot chocolate,” I tell Harper, “At least have some with us.”
“Alright…” She says.
I hear Zoe stalk off into the living room. Let the princess sulk all she wants. I smile at Harper and start walking to the kitchen.
“How’s your day been?” I ask.
“It’s been alright. Went shopping for a bit, dropped some checks off at the bank,” She said, “How about you?”
“You know, found a cure for cancer, and discovered a 10th planet in our solar system. Typical Saturday.”
Though my back is to her, I can hear she is grinning when she says, “You’ve been busy.” I take milk out of the refrigerator and set it on the counter, getting down three mugs. I lean against the counter, looking at her.
“Why is your house so oddly quiet?”
“Only Zoe and I were left home. Mom took Mac shopping and Dad took the girls to a movie. I got stuck babysitting Princess Zoe in there.”
She shushes me. “You’ll hurt her feelings.”
“Sometimes I think that’s exactly what she needs…” I mutter and pick up the teapot off the stove. “Hot enough,” I say and start pouring the water it into the mugs. I fill them to the top the rest of the way with milk and start ripping open hot chocolate packets and dumping them in.
“Where are the spoons?” Harper asks, opening random drawers.
I grin as she opens a drawer filled up with papers. “That’s the junk drawer.”
“Ah, every house has one.”
“Most of it is my mail that I’m too lazy to read, but don’t tell my mother that. She thinks we all contribute equally.”
I take out a spoon and mix the hot chocolate. “Zo, come here!” I yell to her, handing Harper her drink. “Careful, hot.” I warn her and blow into her cup gently.
“Now that’s its all germy…”
“You like my germs,” I retort and blow into my own hot chocolate.
She takes a sip and I can see her eyes water.
“Told you it was hot!” I laugh.
“Is it possible to burn your taste buds off? Because if it is I think I just did.”
Zoe stalks into the room and climbs onto one of the stools at the counter, reaching for the hot chocolate. “Hot chocolate,” She states.
“Magic word?”
“Now,” She smiles, testing me. How whipped can she make her big brother seem in front of his new love interest?
I walk over to the sink with hers and get ready to pour it down the drain.
“Okay, okay! Please!” She says, and I hand her the hot chocolate.
We all are quiet for a second, just blowing and sipping. Finally, Harper speaks up, “So what are you being for Halloween Zoe?”
“A witch,” she says quickly.
“That’s always a good costume. I was a witch two different years when I was a kid.”
“Why?” Zoe asks.
“Because…well because I was too lazy one year to come up with another idea. But the first year I was a witch I was really excited about it. The second year I was it was just sort of like…oh here I am. Same costume again.”
“Why?”
I glare at Zoe and Harper glances at me. “Because…because it was boring to be the same thing twice I suppose.”
“Why?”
“Why don’t YOU quit harassing her?” I say to Zoe, losing my patience already. My family has a history of scaring off girlfriends.
“She’s just asking Taylor.”
“Yeah, I’m just asking Taylor.” Zoe says, getting down from the stool and stomping off with her half-full hot chocolate.
“If you spill that on Mom’s carpet I’m not covering for you!” I yell to her, but I know if she does spill it I’ll be blamed anyway. That’s how it works. I’m the big brother so I am responsible for everything my little siblings do. I look on the bright side. Isaac has to be responsible for the things I’ve done too. And I’ve done some pretty shitty things.
Zac walks into the kitchen and nods at me, “Hey Taylor. Hey…who are you?” He pauses and stares. Like already stated, my family has a history of scaring off girlfriends.
“Zac, this is Harper. I’ve told you about her, remember?”
“Oh yeah, your new girlfriend.” This is embarrassing. Zac is making things official for us, something we haven’t even talked about yet. “Hey, I’m Zac.” He extends his hand and she shakes it.
“Nice to meet you Zac, I’ve heard a lot about you.”
He chuckles and opens the fridge, taking out a Dr. Pepper and popping it open. “Oh you have? And you’re still willing to date Taylor? Hey Tay, remember the time you said I was an embarrassment to your social life. That girls didn’t want to date you because I was such a moron?”
I stare at him, slowly turning red.
“This proves it Tay. It really has nothing to do with me. Ike’s theory is correct.” He flashes me a grin and takes change out of his pocket, tossing it into the jar on the counter. Since we’ve been young Mom has taught us to put all our change into the jar. At Christmas time we buy gifts for the kids who don’t get many with the money. He walks out of the room screaming, “Zoe! Your favorite brother is home!”
Harper gives me a funny look, “What is Ike’s theory?” I’m not about to tell her that Ike thinks it must have to do with my dick size. Not only do I want her to think it’s an area I’m lacking in, because it’s not! But because I don’t want her to think my brother is speculating…THAT.
“I don’t even remember,” I lie, quickly wanting to change the subject. “Wanna do something?”
“Aren’t you babysitting?”
“Eh…Zac is home now. C’mon lets do something,” I tell her, sipping my hot chocolate until its gone and putting the mug in the sink. “Wanna go for a walk?”
She nods and sets her cup down, “Sure.”
We walk together over to the front hall and I pause. It’s pretty cold out. I went jogging this morning and regretted not bringing a sweatshirt. “It’s pretty cold out. Lemme get you a sweatshirt to borrow.”
She nods and I run up the stairs, two at a time, into my bedroom. I pick a sweatshirt up off the floor and sniff it, tossing it aside. Finally finding one that doesn’t smell terrible, I run back down the stairs to her and hand it to her. She pulls it on and I put my own coat on.
“The Music Lives,” she reads off of the sweatshirt. “What’s that mean?”
“It means…the music lives. Some fan made it for me last year or so.”
She smiles and steps through the door as I open it. I cannot decide if we should link arms, if I should take her hand, or if I should put my arm around her. Each has its pluses and minuses. I over analyze the dumbest things, I swear. I put my arm around her and she steps closer to me. I put my face to her head and breathe in. Her hair smells like coconut.
We’re walking silently for a while but it’s a good silent. We’re content. I stop and look up at the big pine tree ahead of us and smile.
“Did you ever climb trees when you were young?” I ask her.
“All the time.”
I let go of her and grab onto a branch, starting to hoist myself up.
“That was…when I was younger, Taylor.”
“So? A skill like that never disappears.” I start climbing and look below to see her, “C’mon Harper. Get climbing.”
She looks at me with a look of annoyance but amusement and starts following me up the tree. I climb until I find a nice spot to sit and wait for her to reach me. I grin at her when she finally sits down on the branch with me and remove a pine needle from her hair.
“Thanks,” She laughs.
“It was the least I could do for making you come up here.” I say.
“This is true.”
We sit quietly and watch the car pass by below us.
“So when are you going to admit it?” She says suddenly.
“Admit what?” I frown at her, confused.
“Admit this is all just a big joke.”
“What’s a big joke?”
“Taylor, stop pretending to be clueless.” Obviously she doesn’t know me well enough yet now I hardly pretend to be. I usually just am. What in hell is she talking about?”
“I’m not pretending anything! What are you talking about?” I say, losing my cool. I vouch to calm back down before I look silly.
“This joke. When are you going to say, Hey Harp, just so you know, I never really liked you. I’m actually dating Britney Spears, or something like that.”
She has gone mad. “I heard Britney Spears got married,” I reply, not knowing what else to say.
She closes her eyes and shakes her head.
“Harper, what in hell are you talking about? Why would I say something like that to you?”
She sighs and looks at me. “Taylor, you’re Taylor Hanson.”
“Thank you Captain Obvi-”
“Can you not be sarcastic or make jokes for just one second now?”
I close my mouth. She is serious.
“You’re Taylor Hanson. What would you want with an ordinary girl like me?”
Now I am just confused. I’m Taylor Hanson whose career bombed. I am an ordinary guy myself. Shouldn’t ordinary guys date ordinary girls? “I think I’m an ordinary guy too, Harper. We’re not famous anymore, if you hadn’t noticed. My brothers screwed that one up when they decided to move the band down on their list of priorities…”
“It doesn’t matter whether or not you’re famous anymore. Girls are in love with you, Taylor. Everyone would love to have you.”
Ohhhh, so that’s why they dump me, call me an arrogant ass, and leave me alone at restaurants all the time. Now it makes perfect sense. I roll my eyes lightly.
“It’s true! You should hear what they say about you at school.”
I cannot help but let a smile creep across my lips. “Oh really?”
“Well, I really hate to enlarge your ego, but yes. You should hear. They all tell me how could Taylor Hanson be dating someone like me, someone just out of the ordinary. You could have Britney Spears if you wanted.”
“I told you, I think she’s getting married.”
She shakes her head in exasperation. I feel bad, but I don’t know how else to respond. This just seems so totally ridiculous to me. I could see how my fans would want to be with me, but it’s the regular girls that I cannot seem to get to like me. Fans see me through rose-colored glasses. Regular girls see my faults. They see my poor temper and dramatic ways. They see how clumsy I am and how quickly I blurt things out without thinking first. They see Taylor Hanson very clearly, and I’ve always felt like they don’t like what they see.
“Harper, alright listen to me.”
She looks at me. “Honestly, I’m having a hard time picturing how you could feel this way. I feel…I just feel like a complete loser. I have been dumped, and I’ve had girls who probably want to dump me but like the fact I can afford decent dates. I’ve had so many girls explode in my face in the past…I’ve been called a dork time after time…I really am just having a hard time picturing how people can see me as such a desirable person.”
“Well they do, Taylor. You’re smooth. Girls like that.”
Funny, I always feel so ridiculous and awkward on the inside.
“Yeah well, I think you’re the crazy one for wanting to be with me. I’m the one who lucked out, you know.”
“That’s very polite of you.”
“Why, thank you.” I look at her seriously, “I’m being honest though you know. I’m a pretty honest person too. I like you very, very much and I feel like I’m the lucky one.”
We’re quiet for a moment.
“What are we?” She asks.
“Well…we’re not official…but don’t you think…I mean…it’s not like we’re still in grade school and have to say will you go out with me or any of that dumb stuff…”
“So we’re not official.” She states.
“Well, no, but isn’t it kind of just assumed that…we are?”
She laughs and looks at me, putting her face in my shoulder. “We’re crazy you know that? Between the two of us we’re an absolutely crazy couple. You and your clueless rambling…me and my dramatic outbursts. We’re crazy.”
I hardly paid attention to the second half of what she said. I know she said that we’re a couple and that’s all I care about. I want to jump right down from the tree and run for my guitar. I want to write lyrics about my love for Harper Irving. I want to sing a melody of the happiness I’m feeling right now. The music lives.