Chapter 28>>>Jesus is God
When you grow up in Oklahoma, you know what the sky looks like when a tornado is going to come. To be frank, I’ve never actually seen a tornado with my own eyes. I’ve hid in the bathroom a few times when there have been serious watches on television, and I’ve had soccer games cancelled because of tornado signs, but never have I actually seen a tornado. Everyone in Oklahoma knows what it feels like when a tornado is approaching though.
“Look at that, Harp,” I point at a sign on the side of the road for an X-rated video store, “A superstore…mind if we pull over? I need to update my porn collection and I could use a few more exotic sex toys…” I smirk.
Harper shushes me and turns the volume up on the radio, “Quiet. Listen to the warning.”
We both listen carefully, our heads cocked towards the radio, as the announcer warns us of storms in various Oklahoma counties.
“Get the map out,” I suggest, “See if we’re driving through any of those counties. I think we passed the town of Sansing a few miles back…”
Harper struggles to unfold the map and prop it up carefully in her lap. I watch as she carefully searches for Sansing on the map.
“We should be around there,” I point.
She looks up at my sharply and nods at the road, “I’ll navigate. You drive.”
So bossy.
“Okay, I see where we are. Yeah…we’re in one of the zones they mentioned. Crap…” She mutters, peering up at the sky.
“I’m sure it’s fine,” I explain, “They love to scare us…but really. I’m sure we’re pretty safe.”
I’ve always considered myself someone to live on the line of danger. Precautions are a waste of life in my opinion. Sometimes I think I do occasionally feel fear, but I always do my best to mask it.
“Taylor, this is a tornado warning. That’s more serious than a tornado watch…and they say the car is the worst place to be…”
“Harper…” I try to make her just as calm as me, “We’re 45 minutes from our destination. Lets just get there and check in to our hotel. Look! It’s only sprinkling anyway…”
We both take a moment to watch out the window at the rain coming down. Suddenly there’s a crack of lightening in the sky.
Oh how typical! Stuff like that is only supposed to happen in sitcoms like Everybody Loves Raymond…not my life. The thunder crashes. This is starting to feel like Everybody Hates Taylor…
“And a little lightening…and thunder…”
We listen to another growl of thunder.
“And a bit more…”
“Taylor! This is stupid. We have to pull over at the next town we see. It’s stupid to be driving through the plains when it’s almost dark out and storming…”
All I want is to get the hotel and watch my girlfriend get naked. Is that so wrong of me?
“Listen, let’s drive a bit further until we see more civilization…” I glance at the miles of fences outside the window, an occasional barn every few miles, “And then we’ll see how the storm is doing. Let’s keep listening to the radio…”
She sighs and turns it up, “You promise you’ll consider pulling over when we get to the next town?”
“Promise. Stick a needle in my eye…”
She gives me a hesitant sigh and puts her feet up on the dashboard as we listen to the radio.
Ten minutes later, the storm looks to be getting worse and the radio announcer is telling everyone to take cover. We approach the next small town which by the looks of it seems to consist of an independent grocery store, a few shops, a fire department, and oh…what every town must have: a McDonalds.
“Taylor, pull over! This is serious. Do you want to be swept up?”
“I’ve lived in Oklahoma my entire life and I’ve never even seen a tornado! I think we just need to calm down and…breath. Ready? In, 1, 2, 3…”
Harper smacks me in the arm harder than I expected her to, “Not funny.”
“I found it amusing.” I find everything I say, or do for that matter, positively amusing. I won’t deny it.
“You promised…”
“Get me a needle to blind myself with and lets forge on…”
“Taylor!” Her usual teasing voice has become serious.
I glance over at her. She is sitting up in her seat alert and worried, “I am scared of bad weather.”
“I thought you liked the ra-” “Can you just pull in somewhere where we can go? Forget the hotel for tonight…I’d rather be safe than make it all the way to the hotel.”
Who can say no to that? She’s scared. Harper is scared. It’s a rarity…and an endearing one at that.
“Okay,” I nod solemnly, looking around at the small businesses, “McDonalds is open…we can stay in there until the storm passes?”
She looks around for another option and sighs, “I guess we have to.”
Suddenly I notice a church across the way. I watch as some people carrying dark umbrellas scurry in through the open doors. They slam them tightly.
“Bingo…” I mutter, swerving in the road away from the McDonalds and towards the church.
“Taylor! Jesus Christ!”
“Could you not swear in a church parking lot?” I grin, pulling into the parking lot and parking next to the various wet cars.
“What are we doing here?”
“I saw people going inside. I don’t know about you…but I’d rather hide out in a church rather than possibly be forced to hide under the greasy tables of McDonalds…” I put the car in park and peer out at the big white building in front of us.
She takes off her seatbelt and inspects the side, “You’re turning down all you can eat Big Macs for…Jesus is God, Church of Putnam County…great Taylor…the biggest whack job church in the state I bet.”
“Nah…the biggest whack job church in Oklahoma is the one my parents attend. My family is composed of primarily Jesus freaks…C’mon. I’ll do the talking,” I grin at my quite non-spiritual girlfriend, “Lets go Harp.”
Together we leave the familiarity of her small sedan and run through the rain towards the front steps of the church. Harper grimaces as I yank on the large heavy doors of the church and begin to pull them open.
“Do you want to be safe or not?” I question.
She sighs, “Lets go.”