Twenty-One>>>Whole
“My mother always said if the world doesn’t support your dreams, prove it wrong and make them happen yourself,” I explain to Harper, tugging her by the hand down the toy aisle in Walmart.
She laughs and hurries along. “And what does that have to do with getting me an Easy Bake Oven?”
I stop short in front of the display of Easy Back Oven’s and examine them. Taking one down, I reply, “Santa never brought you one you said. So if you always wanted an Easy Bake Oven, but the world never supported that dream, you have to buy it on your own.”
“Taylor,” she laughs, “When I said I always wanted an Easy Bake Oven- I meant in the past. I got over the desire many, many moons ago.”
“Many moons ago huh? You know it’s still burning inside of you. Don’t deny it. The feeling of the oven in your arms is amazing.” I hand her the big Easy Bake Oven box.
She laughs and puts it in our cart at the end of the isle. “You’re right. I’ve never felt better.”
I examine the different kinds of mixes you can get for it and hold up two boxes to her. “Yellow cake or brownies with sprinkles in them?”
“Definitely the browns with sprinkles. You can’t go wrong.”
“Really? I was thinking the cake but you’re the one with the dream…” I toss the box of Easy Bake Oven brownie mix in our cart too.
She jumps on the front of the cart and grips it. “I’ve also always had a dream to ride on carts like this. My mother never let me.” I grin and start pushing the cart towards the registers, picking up speed and shouting to her, “I’m a genie in a bottle baby. I’m making dreams come true today.” I stop at checkout 6 and wait for her to start unloading the Easy Bake stuff.
She turns back to me and raises an eyebrow, “Do I have to rub you the right way?” I cover my ears and gasp. “Someone’s mind is in the gutter…” She doesn’t deny it as she starts putting our things in the conveyor belt.
“I always dreamed of kissing Taylor Hanson when I watched him on television as a teeny bopper.” She explains as we walk out to the car.
“Take your best shot,” I tell her, and turn so she can kiss me. We pause our walking in the middle of the parking lot and she kisses me, deepening the kiss right away, which surprises me. My common sense tells me not to get sucked into it. I kiss her back and pull away. “Dreams do come true,” I tell her.
“Yeah you know what else I dreamed?”
“What else did you dream Harp?”
“I’ve always dreamed of what it would be like to be walking along in the parking lot with my cart, and go accidentally go running into someone’s 2001 Ford Explorer.” She smirks at me and pretends to start running.
“Yeah, well I’ve always dreamed of leaving my girlfriend stranded outside of the local Walmart with a cart full of Easy Bake Oven supplies.”
She sticks her tongue out at me, slaps my ass, passes the cart off to me, and dances in the direction of the car. She’s crazy and I love it.
I read the directions on the back of the brownie mix.
“Okay, now dump one package of brownie mix into the little pink bowl.” I explain to her.
One. The number of weeks I’ve been in my new condo. Well, one week and two days if you want to be exact. I’m enjoying the independence now. It’s no longer sad in the morning when I wake up to an empty house or scared at night when I fall asleep to absolute silence.
She pours it in and waits expectantly for the next direction.
“Okay, now,” I patronize her, speaking to her as if she’s a child, “Pour in two tea spoons of water.”
Two. The number of blissful months Harper and I have been together. I often stop and wonder what makes this relationship any different than my past relationships. Didn’t I feel this amazing with Estelle at first? The answer is no. Estelle didn’t make me want to live my life. She made me want to wallow in my pathetic existence and lost dreams. Harper makes me want to truly live life for what it’s worth. I want to experience it and I want to make our dreams come to life. Being with Harper makes me like myself. Harper has helped bring light to my dull life. She’s inspired melodies in my music. She’s the cause for the cheesiness behind my metaphors. I was with Estelle because I didn’t know what else to do. I’m with Harper because she teaches me to be satisfied.
“Alright Harp, nice job. Stir, and once you’ve stirred you can put it in the oven for three minutes.”
Three. The number of months since Estelle broke up with me. When she told me goodbye that day in September, I felt like my entire world was crashing down. But that’s because I didn’t have a strong base. I defined myself by who I was with because I didn’t know who Taylor Hanson really was. All I saw in the name Taylor Hanson was a little Hanson boy who was gone with fame and a tired, failed musician. Zac told me not to fill Estelle’s place with another girl. But I can have women in my life as long as they don’t define me. I really do feel like a regular Plato. I feel like I’ve discovered the greatest philosophy to ever be discovered. I, Taylor Hanson, am still Taylor Hanson with or without Estelle, with or without Harper, or with or without Hanson.
Harper slides the little tin pan the size of her palm into the oven and peers in carefully.
“A watched egg never boils you know,” I tell her, poking her in the side. She laughs and jumps, moving back. I take her spot, peering into the oven myself and watching the brownies cook.
“Hey!” She smiles and kisses my neck. “You’re a dork.”
“Did you know the real definition for a dork is a whale’s penis?”
She tips her head back, laughing. “Is it?”
“I swear to you!”
“I believe you!” We grin and both peer into the oven together, each looking in with one eye. Sharing.
After a couple minutes she uses the special instrument to take the pan out, carefully setting it down on my counter and blowing on the brownies gently. She gets a butter knife from my drawer and holds it above the pan.
“How much do ya want?” She asks me.
“How much can I have?” I don’t want to take her precious brownies away from her.
“However much you want. They’re pretty filling though…” She grins, nodding at the pint-size pan of them.
“Well in that case, I’ll take the whole thing,” I tease, sticking my tongue out at her.
Whole. That is how my life is starting to feel lately. New girlfriend, new apartment, new philosophy. Not bad for a once self-proclaimed pathetic loser.