Tokyo-3 Baby-sitters

Tokyo-3 Baby-sitters

Written by Alain Gravel

Story based on characters created by and copyright GAINAX
Started on November 16th 1999
First pre-reader draft finished on May 9th 2000
Second pre-reader draft finished on May 16th 2000
Third pre-reader draft finished on May 24th 2000
Final pre-reader draft finished on June 28th 2000



Chapter 3 - Unexpected Assistance

    The room was so small--barely four meters on a side--that you could hardly call it an office. That didn't matter to its user, though. It was calm, it was isolated and it was functional, which was all she needed.
    She pressed a button, activating a MAGI terminal. The screen flickered to life, glowing weakly through its thin layer of dust.
    Beside being small, this office was also very rarely used. In fact, judging by how clean the room was, if one didn't consider the dust that slowly made its way inside through the air ducts, many would likely have assumed that this place had never been used at all. Not that there was much in the room to use, a chair and a desk being the only furniture present, for the proper use of the MAGI terminal.
    Her fingers were a blur on the terminal's keyboard and her unblinking gaze fixed on the screen, Ayanami Rei quickly found the file she was looking for: the Children status file. It was a restricted file, but her security clearance was high enough to access it. Only the Commander had a higher security clearance and only Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki and Doctor Akagi's clearances equaled hers.
    Rarely had Rei felt the need to use this office, even if it was at her permanent disposal. She had used it before the final attacks on the Fifth, Seventh and Twelfth Angels. Knowledge was a weapon, and in these instances, it had been possible for her to review the data on the Angels, in search of a weakness to exploit in combat. It had not actually been useful -- her role against the Fifth had been to protect Shinji, she hadn't faced the Seventh and Unit-01 had destroyed the Twelfth -- but it never hurt to be prepared. Shee had also used it to consult the files on the Second, Third and Fourth Children. The information, however, had not been very useful, as she had found the Second and Third Children far more complex than their psychological profiles let on.
    "Why am I here?"
    It was a question she had asked herself many times on her way here. She knew that the Third Children retrieval attempt had been performed several days earlier. She had spoken to several people, but gotten contradictory answers. Some spoke of success, other of failure, but nobody wanted to elaborate. She hadn't seen Major Katsuragi, Doctor Akagi or Lieutenant Ibuki since the attempt. She hadn't seen the Third Children at NERV, nor at school. She had overheard his friends saying he had been sent to Germany. Obviously this was misinformation spread by the Major. EVA pilots were needed in only one place: here in Tokyo-3, where the Angels inevitably attacked. It was all... very strange. So, earlier, in a meeting with Commander Ikari, she finally decided to ask him about the Third Children. His answer hadn't been exactly what she had expected.
    "There is no need for you to concern yourself with this, Rei."
    This answer was now the source of a great dilemma for the teenage girl. Commander Ikari had assured her that it was unimportant. The Third Children, however, was not only a teammate, but also the only pilot that seemed able to use Unit-01. And even if Unit-01 was still in stasis, she considered the Third Children as the more reliable of her teammates. True, his will was weak, but she expected the Second Children to break before he would. Therefore, Unit-02 would be available if Unit-01 was not. On a practical basis, there was justification for her to wonder about the availability of the Third Children.
    But beyond that, there was something else, something she couldn't quite point out. An ordinary person might have said it was either curiosity or worry. Ayanami Rei wasn't, however, an ordinary person and so she found herself more confused than anything by her current actions.
    Realizing that she had been staring blankly at the terminal screen for a few minutes, lost in her reflections, Rei pushed those thoughts aside to be reflected upon at a later time. She opened the Children status files and called up the information about the Third Children.
    She let out a sigh of relief, not realizing she had been holding her breath, as she saw the 'Inactive' status for the Third Children. Part of her had expected to see a 'Deceased' or 'Vanished' status. She was quite aware of what had happened the previous time someone had achieved a synch ratio over one hundred percent with Unit-01. Looking in the mirror every morning reminded her of that fact.
    "This feeling... was it anxiety? Did I fear... did I fear for him? Why?"
    More questions she found herself unable to answer.
    In a way, the Third Children had been extremely annoying. Ever since he had arrived in Tokyo-3, she had found herself asking herself more and more questions of a similar nature.
    The fact alone that she felt annoyed by such unimportant matters was actually disturbing.
    The girl let out a silent sigh, one of her rare shows of emotions.
    The fact that the Third Children was still alive didn't really answer her questions, however. No mention of his current whereabouts could be found in his file. To add to the mystery, surveillance over him had been temporarily been put on hold.
    The girl frowned. If the Third Children was truly away in Germany, it would have been indicated in his file. It seemed she was wasting her time.
    Through a new search, Rei opened Major Katsuragi's file. It seemed she was currently on a leave of absence, ever since the day following the Third Children's retrieval from Unit-01. Security logs confirmed that she hadn't come to NERV in that period.
    Visiting the Major seemed like the next logical step.
    The Commander had said not to concern herself. He had not said that she could not look into these matters.

- - -

    Yawning, Misato tried to keep her eyes open.
    "Why can't you just get hungry at normal eating hours?"
    The baby just kept sucking on his bottle. The last few days had started to take their toll on Misato. She had been feeding Shinji, changing him, watching over him so he wouldn't hurt himself, day and night. A few close calls had shown it was necessary. It was exhausting. The constant worry only added to the stress. And then there were the chores of keeping the house clean... At least with Asuka away she didn't have to worry about food; she was used to instant. Although, she had to admit, now that she was sober, it really tasted like cardboard.

- - -

    It's really crowded here.
    This was the thought that came to Asuka's mind, as she lay by Hikari's side on her bed, staring at the ceiling. The bed was comfortable, but not really big enough for the use of two people. Asuka found herself unable to move from fear of ending up in an embarrassing, or even intimate position. The last thing she wanted was to wake up in the morning and find herself hugging Hikari, after having dreamt of Kaji.
    So she couldn't sleep and found herself staring at the ceiling.
    Her thoughts kept coming back to Misato and baby-Shinji, as they had for the past few days. This annoyed her to no end, but she just couldn't seem to chase the images away.
    Misato had seemed so joyful, so full of life. Asuka had never seen her like that. She had been like a different person. She hadn't drunk a single drop of beer all night. She had cooked an edible and non-instant meal. She had apparently cleaned the place up. She had been smiling, a true, honest smile. She had never acted this way before. Not for Shinji. Not for Kaji. Not for her. Only for that... baby.
    This was what scared her the most about babies. She hated them for various reasons. They were noisy. They were dependant. They always required your attention. They were a pain in the ass. But more importantly... they could change you. And you could get attached to them. This, above all else, scared Asuka. She would not let anything change her. And she certainly didn't want to get attached to one of those. Loving someone meant eventually losing them. Her mother; she didn't want to think about it. Her father; he stopped caring about her at the same time he stopped caring about her mother. Perhaps he never cared at all. Kaji; it was becoming clear that it had been a mistake. With Misato around, he would never care about her. Shinji... she chased that thought away. She didn't care about him. No, she didn't care about him...
    There was also something else that bothered her about babies. Something darker. Dolls. They all looked like dolls. Dolls mothers could play with.
    Asuka shuddered at the thought.
    Shifting positions so that she would now lay on her side, Asuka hugged her pillow as she buried her face in it, fighting back the tears she could almost feel in her eyes.
    At her side, Hikari wished there was something she could do or say to help her friend. But whatever was hurting her, she knew that Asuka would rather face it herself than let herself be seen in pain.

- - -

    "What now?!"
    She tried to feed the baby, but Shinji just ignored the milk bottle and kept crying. It wasn't a complete surprise, she had given Shinji's last meal barely more then an hour ago.
    "Why are you crying?"
    Undressing the baby only revealed a dry and clean diaper.
    "Why?"
    Taking the him into her arms, Misato could only think of a single course of action. She just paced back and forth in her living room, whispering what hoped to be soothing words, trying to calm the child, as she slowly rocked him in her arms. She gave up after nearly stumbling twice over a huge plush panda Makoto had brought the child two days before. So she just sat down on the floor, still holding Shinji, and prayed that he would stop crying soon. She really needed a few straight hours of sleep...

- - -

    Ayanami Rei found herself staring at the door of Major Katsuragi's apartment. This was also the other Children's living quarters as well. At this thought, she felt a familiar feeling she sometimes felt as she compared their living conditions to hers. She didn't really know what the feeling was, but it was strong and violent, so she repressed it as she always did. Commander Ikari had approved of all their living conditions, and his opinion was not something to question. Her being here, however, was more questionable. As she left for this place after school, it had seemed... right. The fact that the Second Children was heading in a different direction didn't change this feeling; if anything, it would make the whole process easier. But now that she was actually here...
    "Am I going against the Commander's wishes? Why am I here?"
    While technically she knew she wasn't disobeying him, she also know that she had played with his words in her logic. He may not have put it exactly into words, but she had understood the meaning. She should stay away from this matter.
    So why was she here?
    "Ikari-kun..."
    For a moment, she frowned. Why did he insist in making her life more complicated. Didn't he understand that things were as they should be? Why did he... make her... feel?
    It would be much easier to simply leave. But she needed to understand... if only to free herself of his disturbing influence.
    So her finger pushed on the apartment electronic buzzer.
    The answer she expected didn't follow. Instead, she heard a faint 'bang' through the door, followed by a much louder sound. It sounded like something was... wailing. It was a voice she didn't recognize. It couldn't be Sohryu, she was not presently here. The voice didn't have similarities with the Major or the Third Children either. The penguin perhaps?
    Her train of thought derailed as her long-repressed instincts reacted to the sound. Her throat went dry, her muscle tensed, her stomach felt as if a hand was roaming in her insides. She recognized the emotions as anxiety, perhaps even fear. She had felt these feelings before, at a few occasions, and felt shame in knowing that in these instances, she had doubted Commander Ikari. This time, however, the emotions she felt were making themselves known on completely different levels. Something within her was urging her to move, to enter the apartment, to go see the source of the noise. Because something instinctive within her knew it was important.
    And so, for the first time of her life, logic found itself thrown aside and Ayanami Rei panicked.
    While she had no official military rank, Rei had privileges that actually outranked most people in NERV. Aside from a high security clearance, those privileges also included a universal pass. After all, in times of emergency, it was important for Rei to be able to enter any location if it was necessary. So when she slipped her access card into the lock of Major Katsuragi's apartment, the door opened for her.
    In a hurry, Rei ran into the apartment, shoes flying in all directions as she removed them from force of habit. She soon found the source of the noise... and froze. Down on the floor was a small infant, disturbingly familiar, trying to cry its lungs out. Rei suddenly found herself at a complete loss. Had she known about the events that would have occurred that day, Asuka would most likely have come back to the Katsuragi household just to witness this scene; finally a problem Ayanami Rei didn't know how to handle. After a moment of staring at the child, and actually blinking a few times, Rei heard someone moaning, the sound mostly drowned out by the baby's wailing. She looked toward the source of the moan, to see the Major, sprawled on the floor. She noted the plush panda under her legs but more importantly, the small puddle of blood around the area where her forehead had hit the floor. Simple logic quickly led to a simple conclusion: the Major had tried to rush to answer the door, but stumbled on the plush panda and fell, hitting her head and rendering herself unconscious. She had probably been carrying the infant with her, which she let go in her fall, explaining its current behavior.
    Again, Rei found herself faced with a dilemma. The infant could have been hurt, and may be needing assistance, however, the Major was clearly hurt and obviously needed care. Head injuries could, after all, be very dangerous. Due to her rank and her role in the war against the Angels, the Major should obviously take priority. The child was, after all, unimportant. As she watched him cry, however, Rei found it very difficult to resist the need to help him.
    She sighed. Making such important decisions was not something she was used to.

- - -

    Misato tried not to wince as Rei roughly bandaged her head. The sight of the blue haired girl, as she had been reviving her with smelling salts, while holding Shinji in one arm, had quite surprised her. She didn't know, however, what had been the strangest sight: Rei in her apartment, the look of concern on her face, or the way she actually held the baby in her arm. Right now, Misato was the one holding Shinji, letting Rei take care of her.
    "The cut on your forehead is deep. You will likely need stitches. You may also have a concussion. I strongly recommend that you go to the hospital once I have minimized the blood flow."
    Misato guessed that Rei was right. She did feel dizzy and the pain was intense. From her position, she gave the plush panda a dark look. She had to put that thing away... before she tore it apart limb from limb.
    "I know, Rei. But I can't. I can't leave him alone by himself. I have to watch him."
    "You won't be able to care for him if you lose consciousness."
    Misato admitted, to herself, that Rei had a point.
    "Why is this infant so important, Major? Is he the reason for your leave of absence?"
    "Take him in your arms, Rei."
    The girl made sure the Major's bandage was holding securely, then complied. Misato noted that Rei seemed to actually know how to hold a child, as if it wasn't the first time she was doing this. The thought of Rei taking care of a child seemed very alien.
    "Look at him carefully and I think you'll know why he's so important."
    She looked at the child. It was rather tiny, if not fragile looking. She noted the dark brown hair. His features were vaguely familiar, but Rei couldn't tell if it looked like someone she knew, or if this familiarity came from something more complex, a sort of vague remembrance. His eyes however... red and dark blue eyes stared into one another. It only lasted for a second or two, before the child smiled, then happily giggled. But that short instant had been enough for her to see what she had failed to see before. The intensity of those eyes was unmistakable.
    Had she not have been looking at Rei, Misato might have missed a brief flash of a shocked expression, before it faded away and her features returned to normal.
    "Ikari-kun."
    Misato nodded. Rei didn't ask how this actually happened. It was unimportant. It did, however, answer a number of questions. These matters were put aside as the girl thought back over the current situation. She looked again at the child she was holding in her arms and made a decision.
    "I will take care of him."
    It wasn't a request or a suggestion, but a statement. A very serious one, Misato judged, as she looked at Rei's face.
    "Rei... you've never taken care of a baby, have you?"
    "No."
    Misato sighed. The girl's intentions were commendable, but it wasn't realistic.
    "I'm not sure it's a good idea. Taking care of a baby is not an easy task, Rei. It's a lot of responsibility. Make only one mistake and the child might suffer."
    "I will not fail him!"
    Rei seemed so resolved. Never Misato had seen the girl so sure of herself, so... expressive. Rei usually seemed more passive, the perfect soldier, always ready to follow orders. The Rei she knew would not have tried to insist but would have simply surrendered to her opinion. Maybe, just maybe... this just might finally help the girl to open up. But first, Misato had to make sure that Rei was really committed to this important task. Shinji's life was actually at stake here, and this was a far more risky gamble than her decision of having Shinji and Asuka live together.
    "I'm sorry Rei, but you can't take care of him."
    "I... I..."
    Rei didn't know how to react. She had made a decision, an important decision, both for herself and Ikari-kun. And... she was denied. While she recognized the Major's authority... her decision had seemed so right...
    "I... I... please... let me..."
    Misato gasped at that sight. Rei was clutching the child tighter against her. If she didn't know Rei better, she would have swore that she was actually about to cry.
    "I want... I want to take care of him."
    Had anyone told her this would happen one day, Misato would never have believed it. But here it was. Rei was actually making a demand. She wanted something. She smiled, a proud smile. It was odd... was this how a mother felt when she could see her children grow up?
    "All right, Rei. You can take care of him."
    Rei's face softened. Inside of herself, however, she was crying tears of joy. She didn't exactly know why she felt this way. It all seemed so trivial. But... she could not help the feelings that overtook her. She smiled, a shy smile, reminiscent of the one she gave Ikari-kun, that time he asked her to smile. Misato blinked at the sight. Rei was smiling at her. And that smile seemed to widen as Rei looked at the child. At that moment, Misato felt certain that all would be all right after all.
    Unsure if she could drive to the hospital, Misato phoned for a taxi. While they waited, she instructed Rei on the different tasks she'd have to perform, showing her where she kept the diapers, milk formula, baby food and other necessary items. She also gave Rei the baby caring guidebook Ritsuko had initially gave her. After finally telling the girl she was free to use the contents of the kitchen, with the exception of beer, Misato was about to leave the girl and child alone, when she thought of a last piece of advice.
    "Rei, for the next few hours, Shinji will be completely dependent on you. He will not be able to communicate his needs to you, so you'll have to make guesses and try to act for the best. So you'll have to care for him the best you can. Like... a mother would."
    Rei nodded.
    Misato then looked at the child Rei was still holding.
    "Now, Shin-chan, Auntie Misato has to leave for a while, so you be good and do what Rei-oneechan tells you, understood?"
    The child, noticing that Misato was addressing him, just blankly stared at her, before yawning and closing his eyes.
    "Oh well... I'm sure he won't be that much trouble. You two take care!"
    Having nothing more to say, Misato left Shinji in Rei's hands. She still had doubts, but her instinct was telling her it would work out just fine. Besides, Rei had said she wouldn't fail Shinji and Misato believed her. She had seen the girl in action, and one thing she had to give her credit for was her perseverance and dedication. If Rei said that she wouldn't fail, she wouldn't and God help anyone who got in her way.
    Misato gone, Rei stared for a moment at the now closed door, lost in thoughts.
    "A mother..." she whispered to herself.
    Ikari-kun had once told her that she had looked like a mother. Could she now act like one?
    She looked at the child now sleeping peacefully in her arms.
    "Shin-chan..."

- - -

    Kaji looked at the woman laying in his bed. She had asked him to take her back to her apartment once the doctors had assured her that her injuries weren't too important. A few stitches and a painkiller prescription later, she was ready to leave and had thought that Kaji would be cheaper then another taxi. On the way, Kaji had managed to convince her that she really looked like she needed rest and that she should come to his apartment rather than hers. Misato had been reluctant, but he had managed to convince her that Rei could surely handle taking care of a baby for a few hours.
    Now, Misato was dead asleep, snoring lightly. He had left just a few minutes ago to make coffee and it took only that much time for her to find her way into dreamland. Most likely, the painkillers and lack of sleep had kicked in. Perhaps it was just as well. She needed the rest. Carefully, he picked a cover from a closet and laid it over her. He then took an extra set of bed sheets as well as a pillow and exited the room. While he was very tempted to sneak into bed with her, it was probably better to let her have her rest undisturbed.

- - -

    Rei was not worried. She was simply... concerned. At least, that was what she was trying to tell herself.
    The Major had left around dinner time. Glancing at her watch as she had done several times before, Rei noted that the time was now 20h30. More than enough time for a simple head injury to be treated. Which could only lead to two possibilities: either she had underestimated the extent of the injury the Major had suffered -- if it was the case it was possible she had been forced to remain at the hospital -- or she had decided to get a moment of rest, which was also probable, as it seemed to be something the Major had been lacking. Rei didn't really mind having to stay longer then she had expected. Having brought her school bag with her, she could still do her homework. While it was tasteless, the food the Major had given her permission to eat had been enough to sustain her. The Second Children had not yet come back from the location she had gone to after the end of classes, a fact the blue-haired girl greatly appreciated. And more importantly, she had just finished her third reading of the guidebook the Major had handed her and if she didn't totally understand the content, she now felt confident in facing the inevitable task of taking care of the young Ikari.
    Well... almost confident. She found herself very worried about her earlier behavior. She had lost control. For a moment, emotions had taken over her rational judgement. She had volunteered herself to do a task for which she had no experience or qualification. Then she had argued with her commanding officer, almost telling her she was wrong. These were all unacceptable behaviors. If the Commander ever heard of this, he would be greatly disappointed. He might even... replace her. She didn't fear being replaced... but she certainly didn't wish for it either. At least, that's what she believed, but small shudders at the thought suggested otherwise.
    Well, she was determined not to show any further moments of weakness from this point on. After all, this was only a child. Even if this child was Ikari-kun.
    She frowned. This designation no longer seemed appropriate. If the infant was Ikari-kun, he was also different from him. The Major had called him Shin-chan. Something deep within her approved of the name. But Rei ignored that voice. Calling the child that... it felt too personal.
    Shinji, she decided, would do fine.
    Having nothing else to do, the girl was about to read the book a fourth time when the child made it clear he was awake. For a moment, she froze. It was quite a disturbing feeling, it was as if she had suddenly forgotten all she had learned in the guidebook, as well as her previous resolutions. Only years of self-control made her resist an overwhelming urge to panic. As calmly as she could, and being Ayamani Rei, it meant being as cool as ice, she got up and walked up to the crib where she had laid the small infant after the Major had left.
    Earlier, the child had been rather calm. He had obviously been tired and had caused her no problem. He had fallen asleep almost the instant she had put him in the crib. Now, however, he was very much alive, legs kicking in the air, hands and fingers moving as if it were trying to catch something only he could see, mouth wide open and eyes closed as he cried. For a moment, Rei wondered if all infants cried in such a manner, or if it was something unique to Ikari. The Third Children was after all overly sensitive, if her observations were accurate.
    The child calmed down somewhat when she picked him up, but he was still crying. From her reading, many things could lead a baby to cry, but the two most probable possibilities were either wet diapers or hunger. Since food would be wasted if the infant was not hungry, the girl proceeded to methodically remove the baby's clothes, a task not too easy, since the baby kept crying, but by that time, Ayanami had already learned to mostly ignore the sound. Finding no trace of wetness in the baby's diapers, she dressed him again and put him back in the crib. Sensing that the girl was leaving him behind, Shinji cried even more.
    "I need to prepare your meal. You must be patient."
    Rei quickly realized however, that babies don't respond well to logical arguments. So as she tried to leave for the kitchen again, the volume of Shinji's wailing increased significantly. Rei tried to ignore him, but the sound just seemed to stab into her like a knife. But she refrained herself from going back. She would not let her emotions control her again.
    "If this goes on, he may disturb people living in the next apartment."
    Rei had no idea if the Major actually had neighbors, but this was a perfectly logical excuse to go back to the child and see if there was any way to calm him down. Looking around brought the solution to Rei's problem. She picked the child again, strapped him into the car baby seat which she had noticed in a corner of the room and carried the seat with her in the kitchen. This way, the child would be able to be in her presence and she would be free to prepare his meal.
    Rei felt very pleased in her handling of this problem. There would be other problems, but she knew now that she would be able to deal with them in a calm and logical manner. She didn't know why all these emotions made themselves felt this often and this strongly, but she was sure she could now keep them under control.
    She wondered, did she react so strongly because of the baby, or because of the knowledge that this baby was Ikari? She had noticed that the Major had seemed very protective of the infant. More protective than she usually seemed about Ikari. Did babies have an emotional effect on people? Did it affect only females or did it affect males also? She sighed. New questions added to this complex puzzle people called life.
    For the moment, however, Rei had to face a less complex problem, which was what to actually feed the child. Rei contemplated the options offered to her. One was baby food. She had noticed a vast array of baby food jars in the Major's fridge in her earlier attempts to find something edible (unfortunately, Rei didn't know that baby food actually tasted better then Misato's instant food). It was all basically the same thing if one didn't consider all the different tastes available (Misato had actually discovered that baby food tasted better then her instant food, so she had made a vast order, even replacing part of her beer supply with it). The other option was milk. The milk formula had been conveniently left on the table, along with the necessary bottles, and the preparation seemed rather simple. So, again, Rei was faced with a choice. From what she had read, younger infants drank milk. As the infant grew, however, so did his nutritional needs. Rei had no idea how old Shinji actually was, and what kinds of food he mostly required. The presence of both suggested that the Major had at least tried to feed him both kinds. But she hadn't instructed her on which to use. For a moment, Rei considered simply giving him both, but it seemed unlikely that such a small child would have a big enough stomach for both. So she settled on the milk. If it was good for newborn babies, then it would not hurt older ones.
    Rei noted with interest that the infant had apparently noticed that she was preparing his meal, as he calmed down and watched her with concentration. It was a more complex behavior then anything else she had observed so far. Was this baby more intelligent than she had initially estimated? Her initial observations had lead her to believe that Shinji, under this form, possessed few reasoning skills. But apparently, this child had already learned how to recognize someone preparing his meals. It was most fascinating.
    Following the instructions to the letter with flawless execution, Rei was soon done preparing the baby's milk bottle. And the fact that he was afterward sucking on the bottle energetically clearly showed that she was using the appropriate method to feed him. While it was of no surprise, Rei felt both relieved and proud in this latest accomplishment. For a moment, she allowed herself a moment of respite and gave the child a small smile.
    Rei had no idea what quantity of milk a child actually needed to drink. But that problem solved itself as Shinji lost interest in the bottle. Rei noted that only a quarter of the content was left, although she had no idea if the information was relevant, as she doubted that such things could remain constant. One thing she knew remained true however was that after such a meal, it was needed to make the baby burp. The book had not explained why, only how to proceed, and so Rei acted accordingly. However, as she held the child in her arms over her shoulder and tried to make him burp, the reward to her efforts was not exactly what she had expected. She frowned as she felt the baby regurgitate part of the milk he had drunk on her shoulder.
    "This is not cute." (1)
    While being barfed on was just a little annoyance for Rei, a wasted school uniform was another matter entirely. Hopefully, it would not stain. While it was meaningless to Rei, the Commander was adamant that she should at least have a presentable appearance. Picking up the child, Rei headed toward the bathroom in search of a washcloth to at least remove most of Shinji's... little gift. The child giggled in delight, happy to take a little trip, but it was short lived as Rei set him down on the floor.
    "Do not move," commanded the girl to the child, before picking a washcloth and proceeding to wet it and try to clean the fabric covering her shoulder.
    What Rei was to soon learn, however, is that children tend not to listen to what people tell them; in fact they sometimes do the complete opposite. So when she finally judged her uniform clean enough, at least hopefully enough that it wouldn't stain, she discovered the child gone from the position she had left him. In fact, he was nowhere to be seen in bathroom. For a moment, she wondered how such a little child could have disappeared so fast, when she heard both a shriek and a giggle. Frowning, she went to investigate the source of the sound.
    Rei blinked at the sight that awaited her. Then blinked again.
    As fate required, Pen-pen had chosen that moment to have a late drink. So he got out of this 'home' to fetch a beer at the same time Shinji exited the bathroom. The baby didn't miss the chance to recognize the penguin which led to the current result; apparently, Shinji had managed to grab and hold himself tightly on the penguin's back. Needless to say, Pen-pen did not approve and was expressing that disapproval in loud warks while running around in circles and waving his fins, trying to get that thing off his back. The scene could have been comical, if not for the inevitable conclusion; the baby finally lost his grip and was sent flying in the air. For an instant, time seemed to freeze and Rei stared in wide horror at the child going up in the air, soon to fall down. Then, she moved.
    Rei was not the kind who felt the need to show off. So she never used her full skill, speed and strength in class, or daily life. She had still been holding back when she beat Asuka's time in the previous week's swimming competition.
    So when Rei moved to catch the child, it was both with feline grace and speed. Too bad no one was there to witness it. And it was a shame Rei didn't notice that Pen-pen, now free of the child, failed to slow down and hit the plush panda, knocking him in Rei's path just before it was too late for her to avoid it. So Rei stumbled on the panda and fell on the floor. But she at least managed to avoid harming herself by catching herself with her arms. That is, before something hit her back, making her yelp in pain and, as she lost her hold, painfully hit her forehead on the floor. But unlike the Major, Rei was used to dealing with pain; it came with her job. So the next instant she was up again, to see the child on the floor, which had bounced off her back, squirming and crying.
    And that's when Rei again lost what control she had managed to keep so far.
    "Shinji! Are you alright?!? Shinji!"
    The only answer Rei got was more crying. Which really wasn't too surprising as babies can't actually talk. But she wasn't in the right frame of mind at the moment to realize that. Something she noticed, however, was the penguin waddling toward the source of the noise.
    "You!"
    The penguin froze in his tracks as red eyes burning with anger were suddenly locked on him. A large sweatdrop begun to form as his eyes met Rei's.
    "If you hurt him, I will make sure that 'grilled penguin' is on the next NERV cafeteria menu."
    Pen-pen didn't really understand all the words the scary blue-haired girl had used, but the low dangerous tone of her voice carried the meaning quite clearly. Knowing what was good for him, he wasted no time retreating to his fridge, where he was determined to stay until either his mistress, the whiny boy or the loud female were back. He hadn't seen the latter two in a while, though. He really hoped that they hadn't been replaced by the scary girl...
    "Shinji! Are you alright? Are you hurt?"
    Taking the child in her arms, Rei inspected him to see if there were any traces of injuries: cuts, bruises, anything. She looked at him from every angle, feeling gently for broken bones. The only thing she found, however, was something warm and wet as she slipped a hand in his diapers.
    Rei's only reaction was to freeze for a short instant, then frown. The fact that Rei kept her legendary calm didn't mean she found this sudden contact any less disgusting than anyone else would. Rei, however, was not one to dwell long on such insignificant matter and so she found herself soon seeing the positive side of the situation: at least she knew now why Shinji was crying. And despite everything, she felt relieved that Shinji was well.

- - -

    Changing the child had taken longer than feeding him. The operation had been a bit more complex and had also required for her to clean the child up. This time, Shinji's "little gift" had not been that little and it had been somewhat messy. For a moment, Rei wondered if the Major fed the child properly.
    Shinji had finally calmed down. He had been fed, changed and had played a bit (although too much and too dangerously for Rei's taste). Therefore the next logical step seemed putting him back to bed. The baby, however, seemed to refuse to be put into the crib. Each time she let him go, he would start to cry.
    "Are you not tired?"
    In her arms, the child yawned. Taking it as a yes, Rei put the child back in the crib.
    He started to cry again.
    The she took him back. He stopped.
    And he cried again as she put him back.
    To stop when she picked him up.
    To cry once more when she tried one more time to put him back.
    Analyzing the problem at hand, Rei could only come to one conclusion: the child didn't want to leave her arms. This single thought made her feel... warm inside.
    "Fine," she whispered, as a smile grew on her face.
    So the girl sat against a wall, and waited for the child in her arms to fall asleep. The whole situation felt strangely... very familiar. Without realizing it, the girl sang a soft lullaby she had never heard before, but yet knew nonetheless.


 
Sleep, little pigeon,
And fold your wings,
Little blue pigeon
With velvet eyes;
Sleep to the singing
Of mother-bird swinging
Swinging the nest
Where her little one lies.

Away out yonder
I see a star,
Silvery star
With a tinkling song;
To the soft dew falling
I hear it calling
The night along.

In through the window
A moonbeam comes,
Little gold moonbeam
With misty wings;
All silently creeping,
It asks; "Is he sleeping
Sleeping and dreaming
While mother sings?" ...

But sleep, little pigeon,
And fold your wings,
Little blue pigeon
With mournful eyes;
Am I not singing? --
See, I am swinging --
Swinging the nest
Where my darling lies.
 

    As Rei started to sing, the child recognized the song, calmed down and yawned. Eventually, both infant and girl fell asleep.
 

[To be continued...]
 
 
 

Bonus scene:

    While most of Tokyo-3's inhabitants were enjoying a well deserved rest, a pair of scientists were still hard at work in a restricted laboratory, deep inside the bowels of NERV. Through force of habit, Akagi Ritsuko picked up her coffee mug and mindlessly brought it to her lips, still typing on the keyboard with her free hand, only to find the mug empty. This simple realization broke her out of the near trance she had been in for over an hour. Blinking, her eyes confirmed that the cute cat ornated mug, a gift from her assistant Maya on her last birthday, barely held more than a drop of coffee.
    The blonde haired scientist let out a yawn and progressively started to feel the effect of too many hours of non-stop work. Almost thirty eight hours, if her watch was accurate. She looked at her terminal screen again, to realize with regret that her previous train of thought was now completely derailed.
    Knowing that there wasn't any point in trying to stop her mind from wandering a bit, Ritsuko looked at the large glass cylinder at the center of the room. Two meters wide and four meters in height, it was big enough for an adult to stand inside it... or float in it. Both extremities were attached to a vast array of mechanical and electronic components, most of them not completely assembled, but the Doctor knew it was only a matter of time before the device would be ready. Soon enough, the cylinder would be filled with LCL and would bathe the otherwise dark room with an orange glow, much like another system Ritsuko preferred not to think about. It wasn't really possible, however, as this system was actually derived from the prototype which had served in the development of the dummy system. At least, the Doctor had the consolation that this specific piece of machinery was recycled into something less... disturbing. Although she couldn't chase away the uneasiness she felt about this project as easily as she did with NERV's other secrets. Even if mankind's survival hung in the balance, it felt wrong to toy with such innocent and fragile life. Telling herself that this was only yet another rescue operation didn't really change her perception of things. She simply couldn't shake the picture of baby Shinji out of her mind. But there was really no other choice; he had already made his decision.
    Like she had told Misato, the odds of growing Shinji back to full size were very good. Previous experiments on accelerated growth had given her enough data to work on and hope for good results. A mixture of hormones, nutriments, LCL and various other chemicals would do the work, while a constant bio-feedback system would constantly stimulate Shinji's muscles to avoid atrophy. Most likely, Shinji would probably be healthier then he was before this ordeal. Through the whole process, Shinji's brain would be stimulated with impulses based on Unit-01's data; in essence, Shinji would take a three week long trip down memory lane. Knowing the child however, this would probably be closer to a long nightmare then a pleasant dream.
    Still... Ritsuko had doubts. This was a unique situation and there was still many unknown variables, the most important question being whether or not Shinji would wake up and remember anything of his past. It was, after all, possible that his past memories, even if still present in his subconscious, would never resurface, even though she hoped the stimulation of his brain would prevent such possibility from occurring. A scenario where Shinji would end up with a fourteen year old body but keep a baby's mind was still very much likely to happen. And in a worst case scenario, Shinji could keep the mind of a baby, but end up in a completely deformed body. If he didn't die. Thinking back at the baby she had held in her arms at Maya's insistance, the Doctor shuddered.
    Silently, she vowed to herself to do all in her power to succeed.
    Yawning again, the Doctor looked back at her terminal screen, debating whether to return to her work or simply give her body the rest it was craving. The answer came to her in the form of a very faint sound; some light snoring. With a little push, her chair made a one hundred eighty degrees turn, giving her view of the other side of the room, where her assistant was working on a terminal similar to hers. Or, to be more precise, had been working, as Maya was now fast asleep, her head on the table, only centimeters from the keyboard.
    Getting up, Ritsuko walked toward her young protegee and gently let her fingers run through the younger woman's short brown hair, a sign of affection she wouldn't have done had there been someone else awake in the room. The young computer operator mumbled something in her sleep, most of it unrecognizable, except for the now much familiar word "sempai". Ritsuko wasn't really sure about the girl's feelings, if she simply admired her or felt something more... complex... and didn't really wish to know for sure either. Still, she had to admit to herself that she felt some attachment for the girl. In a way, she reminded her of herself years ago, before... him.
    "You poor thing... you must have been exhausted."
    Rest, decided Ritsuko, was the most logical option. She was tired, her assistant felt the same, and both of them would work better after a few hours of sleep. The project was going well anyway, and they were a bit ahead of schedule. No reason to be any more stubborn.
    Gently, Ritsuko shook the girl awake. Maya gave her a half glazed look, barely awake.
    "Sempai?"
    "Come."
    Helping the girl on her feet, she dragged her to a nearby room. In other circumstances she would have avoided this place, but she was reluctant to let Maya sleep on a table, or take away any more sleep from her. Beside, this would be more efficient then walking all the way to their apartment and... a bed was a bed. So, as she entered the room labeled as 'Artificial Evolutionary Laboratory', Ritsuko tried to ignore to project related to it. She helped the still half asleep Maya onto a bed in a corner of the room, who promptly resumed her slumber as she laid down. Removing her lab coat, Ritsuko covered her protegee with it, and laid herself on the bed, using what little space was left. It was a rather tight fit, but it was enough. She smiled as she remembered how similar it was to those few times back in college where she had sometimes tried to help Misato with her studies up until very early in the morning. The Doctor's whole body, however, suddenly tensed as Maya turned in her sleep and pressed her chest into her back, going even as far as hugging her with her left arm. Ritsuko quickly relaxed as she realized that Maya was now snoring again and was still clearly fast asleep. It was simply an innocent gesture, as simple as hugging a pillow or a teddy bear while sleeping. And besides... it did feel rather nice and warm. Sadly, she wished he would do that...
    "Goodnight, Maya. Sweet dreams."
    Somewhere in-between sleep and awareness, Maya silently thanked her sempai and cherished this moment, as it would be forgotten the next morning.
 
 
 

Author's notes:

(1) One constant we often see in anime involving babies is the female character going "Oh! It's so cute!" over the little baby's burp. So I thought to show here the other side of the coin. And I know just how much out-of-character this little bit is, but I just couldn't resist. If it really bothers you, just skip that line, it doesn't affect the rest of the story. But I simply find it too funny to pass ^_^

My favorite chapter so far in this short series. But also the more challenging, as I must venture on those dangerous grounds which are Rei's emotions. You see, I am one to believe that Rei is capable of emotions, but either doesn't recognize them, or simply doesn't know how to handle them and therefore buries them. Aside from her loyalty to the Commander that clouds her judgment, Rei makes me think in a way of Vulcans in Star Trek. But here I have Rei forced to face very unusual situations, nothing Gendo could have anticipated and prepared her for. Here, Rei has to make choices. And here, Rei has to face one simple reality; whatever she is, she's also a woman. If there is such a thing as a maternal instinct, and it is bound to affect her. And if such a thing doesn't exist, then the impression of Yui within her still exists. It's still, however, very hard to reach the right mixture of usual Rei apathy and the awakening of emotions she wasn't aware she had.

For those who wonder, Rei's lullaby was not made up by me. It's the result of a good hour of searching over the internet. After looking at the lyrics of over 50 lullabies, I found this one which I found to be an excellent match for Rei (or should I say Yui?). Interestingly enough, its title is "Japanese Lullaby" and it was written by Eugene Field. It was found on this URL: http://www.kididdles.com/
 
 
 
Extra info:
(my thanks to Thomas C Kinnen who provided them)


Babies development timeline:


Food:
Of course, since Shinji ain't a normal baby, I can take one or two liberties ^_^