The Wooing of Rosalie Knopf
 
 

Scene One



 

The living room of the KNOPF residence, a Thursday afternoon in early October, 1955. The house is one of the dark, wooden structures built in southern Florida during the boom in the late twenties. The furniture is almost as old--—heavy brown pieces which provide a startling contrast to the warm, effulgent sunlight pouring through the windows.

Through the upstage door we can see part of the cream colored kitchen which leads to the back porch. On the left are two doors, one leading to Rosalie’s bedroom, the other to the bedroom of her parents.

Although the room is essentially somber, it is spotlessly clean. And here and there are hurried attempts to give it a flash of color——a brilliant red pillow on the sofa, a few handmade ceramic ashtrays and plaques done in garish Florida hues and a new white lampshade on an ancient floor lamp.

There is a plethora of books overflowing the few shelves and extending to end tables and corners of the room. Downstage right is a table phonograph atop a case filled with records. Across from it is a decaying sofa.

At rise, sixteen-year-old ROSALIE KNOPF is stretched on the sofa, gazing soulfully through the window as though she had been siphoned of all energy. She is small and squat and rather homely. She has her hair in two skinny pigtails that almost, but not quite, reach each other at the top of her head. She wears glasses and braces and—well, it almost looks as though she might have come with the house.

She is listening to a lush rendition of "In Love In Vain". It is actually part of an album entitled "Music for Unrequited Lovers", which she has kept in a folder marked Beethoven’s Chamber Music. The folder is in her hands as the Kern song gushes from the phonograph.

In moment a car is hard driving up. ROSALIE glances out the window, bolts from the sofa, rushes to the phonograph, puts the record in the Beethoven container as NADINE KNOPF enters through the kitchen. She is short and plump, and though basically prettier than her daughter, there remains a striking similarity in figure and features. Her hands are trembling, and she is biting her handkerchief.
 
 

ROSALIE
                                                   (sighing with relief)
Oh. I thought it was Daddy. (NADINE stands in the back of the room, pacing nervously, not daring to look directly at her daughter) Mama, what is it? You’re chewing your handkerchief.

NADINE

I can’t help it.

ROSALIE

You know how upset it makes Daddy. He says if you’re gonna chew, chew Kleenex.  You can chew two hundred and fifty for twenty-nine cents.

NADINE

Rosalie. We must have a party for you.

ROSALIE

What?

NADINE

A party would be just the thing.

ROSALIE

What on earth for?

NADINE

Because…because I’ve just come from seeing Mrs. Fell.

ROSALIE

Mrs. Fell?

NADINE

                                      (rummaging in her purse and extracting three wilted sheets of paper)
She sat me down and read me this. "Love, War and the Girl’s Locker Room."

ROSALIE

Oh.

NADINE

Rosalie, how could you!

ROSALIE

But, Mama, it was what she wanted. She took me aside last week and put her big flabby arm around me and nearly asphyxiated me with orange blossom perfume. She said she thought I should start writing about things I was more familiar with.

NADINE

Because of your other composition papers---particularly, "The Last of Anne Boleyn."

ROSALIE

You told me that story yourself.

NADINE

I told you that story, Rosalie, but I never ended it like you did---where Anne Boleyn doesn’t really die, her Lady-in-Waiting takes her place, and she runs off to Ireland with the Captain of the Spanish Armada. No wonder Mrs. Fell wanted you to write something with which you were more familiar.

ROSALIE

Well, that’s something with which I was familiar. I overheard it right after gym period. Between Betty Claire Richmond and Diane Wolfe.

NADINE

You could have at least changed the names.

ROSALIE

I did, Mama.

NADINE

Oh, Rosalie. You call them Betty Nomicher and Diane Eflow. That’s Richmond and Wolfe spelled backwards.

ROSALIE

I think I was very fair. I mean that is exactly what I heard. And I didn’t mention Margot Robertson at all. She was standing there, too. But I didn’t mention her because she didn’t say anything. And that was very fair.

NADINE

Mrs. Fell said you did this out of envy.

ROSALIE

Envy! I should have known. She missed the whole point.

NADINE

Of that?

ROSALIE

Of course, Mama. Look. Try to imagine this. I’m standing in the shower with my back to the wall. I just turned the shower off. And Diane Wolfe and Betty Claire Richmond are by their lockers getting dressed. It’s right before lunch period, so the place is empty. This is Diane Wolfe over here. She’s like a beautiful, aloof Roman empress with long black hair and deep green eyes. When no one’s looking, she slithers about the palace and poisons all her children. Here’s Betty Claire Richmond over here. Southern accent. She’s sort of Diane’s Roman handmaiden. She helps Diane grind up the glass to put in the children’s baby food. Margot Robertson is over here. But she doesn’t say anything. This is Betty Claire.
                                  (simulating a thick southern draw and batting her eyelashes)
‘"You know, Diane---David Dubin had the gall to ask me to the Thanksgiving Dance."
                                 (moving a step away, sinking in her cheeks and lowering her voice)
"Not again!"
                                  (then back to Betty Claire’s position)
"Some people just don’t know their place. Golly gee, he works for a grocery store after school and all!"
                                  (as Rosalie)
Of course, Chuck Hatfield works for a grocery store, too, but David Dubin works for
                                  (as Betty Claire)
"that Jew grocery store where they sell all kinds o’ vomity lookin’ food."

NADINE

I know all…

ROSALIE

                                   (still Betty Claire)
"Everyone knows what a tramp David Dubin’s sister was when she went to Mineola High…datin’ all kinds a’ sailors.’
                                   (as Diane)
"Humph!"
                                   (as Rosalie)
Betty Claire’s been out with sailors, too. But David Dubin’s sister went out with Jewish sailors.
                                   (as Betty Claire)
"You know, Diane, Jewish sailors are built different than other sailors."
                                   (as Diane)
‘They are?’
                                   (as Betty Claire)
‘Yea-ah!"
                                   (as Diane)
‘How?"
                                   (as Betty Claire)
‘Guess."
                                   (as Diane)
"You mean like Chinese women?"
                                   (as Betty Claire)
"No. What about Chinese women?"
                                   (as Diane)
"You know, they…"

NADINE

Rosalie, please. You don’t have to act it out for me.

ROSALIE

But then, Mama, they start bragging about discovering "upside-down" kissing with Chuck Hatfield and Rickie Richards on the Hi-Y Picnic last Friday. That Mrs. Fell. She missed the entire theme.

NADINE

You could have written the same theme. You could have done what some very fine authors do. You could have written it about animals.

ROSALIE

Mrs. Fell said something I was familiar with.

NADINE

Please let’s have a party.

ROSALIE

Why?

NADINE

Because if your father ever finds out about this…

ROSALIE

Don’t tell him.

NADINE

I won’t. But he might hear of it.

ROSALIE

How?

NADINE

You know how friendly he is with Mr. Peeples, your principal, and you know how teachers gossip. A party will look good, Rosalie. You’ll at least be trying to integrate..

ROSALIE

Mama, if I hear about group integration one more time…

NADINE

But he’s dedicated his life to that.

ROSALIE

That’s not my fault.

NADINE

Don’t say that, Rosalie. Your father’s one of the most important educators in the country.

ROSALIE

I know. He keeps telling me.

NADINE

Why, long before I met him, while I was still teaching history in Baltimore, his name was known straight down the Eastern seaboard.. Do you realize it was your father who first used the word "togetherness"? Up to that time together was merely an adverb. But he put the "ness" on the end and overnight It became a noun. Oh, Rosalie. How will it look if his own daughter doesn’t practice the word he invented?

ROSALIE

But I don’t feel any togetherness with the girls at Mineola High. I don’t know how Chinese women are different.

NADINE

He’ll say it’s my fault.

ROSALIE

Do you know how Chinese women are different?

NADINE

A party will start you on the road to integration.

ROSALIE

But there’s nobody worth integrating with. I don’t like the clique and they think I’m some kind of idiot. You know what happens when I’m around girls like Diane Wolfe and Betty Claire Richmond? My feet feel like I’m walking in quicksand. And my tongue feels like it’s too big for my mouth.

NADINE

Then must be more than one clique.

ROSALIE

Not at Mineola High.

NADINE

Now…

ROSALIE

There’s only one. And Diane Wolfe and Margot Robertson are the heads of it.

NADINE

Margot Robertson?

ROSALIE

She’s that other girl. The one, who was standing over here, who didn’t say anything. She’s got long blonde hair and this constant saccharine smile and these big wide blue eyes like she’s just been converted to Christianity. She and Diane are always walking around the school arm-in-arm. And they always kiss each other goodbye even if one of them is just going to the ladies’ room.

NADINE

What do the other girls do? There must be other girls who don’t belong.

ROSALIE

Stand around and wish they did belong.

NADINE

Then invite them all to a party…to a Halloween party!

ROSALIE

No, Mama.

NADINE

Oh, they’re the most fun.

ROSALIE

No. They’ll just spend the whole night talking about the clique they wish they belonged to.

NADINE

Please. It’ll make things so much easier at home.
                              (ROSALIE does not answer.)
Just try one party and see.
                              (She looks hopefully to her, but there is still no answer)
You remember the fuss when you quit the Girl Scouts. You were a Brownie for less than a week.

ROSALIE

I couldn’t sell those cookies, Mama. The ones with the peanut butter in between the chocolate wafers were just awful. I couldn’t ask anybody to buy them for forty cents a box.

NADINE

I know. I know, dear, but that was the worst asthma attack your father ever had. And then there was the business with Billy Zilkey. You don’t want to go through that again.
                               (ROSALIE does not reply.)
We can have costumes and candied apples and…you know what I‘ve always wanted to make? I’ve always wanted to make what I call "gingerbread men incognito."

ROSALIE

Gingerbread men incognito?

NADINE

Each one a separate character as if he were pretending he wasn’t really just an ordinary gingerbread man. Oh, Rosalie, you know what? They can be famous lovers of history!

ROSALIE

They can?

NADINE

Why, we can spend afternoons on gingerbread men incognito alone. While your father’s busy with his lectures in Miami and Lauderdale. And while he’s finishing his book, The Interest of the Principal, we can be in the kitchen making little Nell Gwynns and Charles the Seconds.

ROSALIE

Mama, that sounds wonderful. A Halloween party just for the two of us.

NADINE

Not the two of us.

ROSALIE

Why not? Halloween’s just a week from tomorrow. It’s too late to invite anybody. So it’ll be just for us.

NADINE

You know your father and I are invited to Mr. Peeples’ for Halloween.

ROSALIE

But you’re the only person I want to invite.

NADINE

Rosalie…
                                           (after a moment)
There’s someone else you want to invite.

ROSALIE

Who?

NADINE

You know who.

ROSALIE

No, I don’t.

NADINE

David Dubin.

ROSALIE

He’s not interested in me.

NADINE

But he must be, dear. He’s been over to the house several times.

ROSALIE

Three times.

NADINE

Well, three is several.

ROSALIE

And only because the answers in the back of the algebra book aren’t enough. It’s not like ninth grade math. You’ve got to show how you got the answers in algebra.

NADINE

He’s eaten your homemade cupcakes.

ROSALIE

He’s got a real sweet tooth.

NADINE

And he…

ROSALIE

He wouldn’t come to a party of mine, Mama.

NADINE

How do you know?

ROSALIE

Because I just do.

NADINE

Why, Rosalie. Your whole composition shows that he’d come. He’s such a shy boy. And all those children having nothing to do with him because of his religion. Why, he’s dying for someone to reach out and invite him to a party. I bet there are many lonely children at Mineola High. All of those children who don’t belong to the clique. You know what Rosalie? You can form your own clique!

ROSALIE

I don’t want to form my own clique.

NADINE

But, it’s so healthy.

ROSALIE

What’s so healthy about it?

NADINE

I don’t know exactly. But if your father finds out about this paper, you might have to.
                                        (The telephone rings. NADINE hurries to answer it.)
Hello…Yes?…Yes, Mrs. Fell…They did? Oh, dear….Well, yes. Yes, I will speak to her. I mean, I am speaking to her ...Yes, thank you for calling.
                                        (SHE hangs the receiver up in pain and begins to chew her handkerchief again.)
Oh, dear.

ROSALIE

What did she want this time?

NADINE

She wants you to apologize to all three girls.

ROSALIE

To what all three girls?

NADINE

Diane Wolfe, Betty Claire Richmond and Margot Robertson.

ROSALIE

I didn’t mention Margot Robertson! I told you!

NADINE

Diane Wolfe thinks it was Margot Robertson who repeated the entire conversation to Mrs. Fell.

ROSALIE

How did Diane Wolfe find out that Mrs. Fell knew?

NADINE

I think Betty Claire Richmond told her.

ROSALIE

How did Betty Claire Richmond find out?

NADINE

Mrs. Fell told her.

ROSALIE

What?!

NADINE

Mrs. Fell was speaking to her as I walked in the room. She told me she felt it was her duty to get to the bottom of this.

ROSALIE

Well, that’s not my fault, and I’m not going to apologize, Mama.

NADINE

Now, Rosalie…

ROSALIE

Mama, I wrote a composition on a subject that I was familiar with. That’s what she wanted. I can’t help it if she went running to tell Betty Claire Richmond. And I can’t help it if Betty Claire went running to tell Diane Wolfe. And it’s not my fault Diane doesn’t trust her best friend, Margot Robertson…and I’m not apologizing!

NADINE

I don’t know, Rosalie. I don’t know.

ROSALIE

I’ll have the party, Mama. But I won’t apologize.

NADINE

It your father finds out…

ROSALIE

I don’t care, Mama…it’s a miscarriage of justice.
                                     (going to Nadine, bending on her knees.)
You understand, don’t you? I can’t apologize to those girls. What they said about David Dubin was just awful, and they’re the ones who should apologize. You do understand, don’ t you, Mama?

NADINE

Yes, I understand. But Mrs. Fell doesn’t. She wanted me to know that you have severed a friendship that has lasted since the seventh grade.
                                     (staring at the handkerchief which is now in shreds)
Less than an hour ago, Diane Wolfe pushed Margot Robertson into her simulated Tahitian lagoon swimming pool.
 
 

LIGHTS DIM