Scene Eleven
Diane’s back porch,
a week later. At rise, JIMMY MOORE is alone on stage keeping vigil by the
screen door. It is a rare pitch black night outside, and we can see only
the barest outline of the coconut palms. The lights in the living room
spill out to the porch, and we can hear a buzz of conversation. Then SHARLENE
enters from the interior and marches to Jimmy.
SHARLENE
Chuck wants you.
JIMMY
I can’t now.
SHARLENE
He wants you to tell Ham
exactly what Mrs. Fell said.
JIMMY
Chuck knows what Mrs. Fell
said. He was there.
SHARLENE
He wants it verified.
JIMMY
Later.
SHARLENE
He says now.
JIMMY
Leave me alone.
SHARLENE
Will you come away from that
door?
JIMMY
Diane appointed me to watch
for Rosalie.
SHARLENE
She didn’t appoint you. You
volunteered.
JIMMY
Someone has to watch for
Rosalie.
SHARLENE
How come it’s always you?
JIMMY
Leave me alone.
SHARLENE
Any time she wants to drive
anywhere, all she’s gotta do is pick up the phone, dial your number and
zippo! There you are! You’d think you were Cinderella’s pumpkin or something.
JIMMY
I said leave me alone.
SHARLENE
I think someone should inform
you, Jimmy Moore, that everybody is saying you are making an absolute fool
of yourself.
JIMMY
It’s not everybody…it’s you.
And you’d be the last person in the world to understand kindness.
SHARLENE
Kindness, my foot!
JIMMY
Everybody knows Ham is gonna
pin Rosalie tonight.
SHARLENE
Then tomorrow I guess you’ll
be over to my house again...sticking your oversized head into our refrigerator
and Indian wrestling with my father.
JIMMY
I won’t be over tomorrow,
and I won’t be Indian wrestling with your old man. I wish to Pete he’d
leave me alone. He’s the only guy in town even I can throw.
SHARLENE
If you think I’m going to
take you back…
JIMMY
Who the hell’s asking you
to?
SHARLENE
Don’t you use language like
that to me, Jimmy Moore!
JIMMY
Who the hell’s asking you
to?
SHARLENE
All right. Just you wait
and see. Just you wait and see exactly how big a fool you’re making of
yourself. Just you wait till Betty Claire gets here.
(DIANE opens the
porch door and enters, vigorously wiping her feet on the mat.)
DIANE
That’s what we’re all waiting
for…Betty Claire. I told her eight o’clock sharp. Everybody else is here.
She knows it’s a surprise "pinning party" for Rosalie.
SHARLENE
Betty Claire has her own
little surprise for Rosalie.
DIANE
What do you mean?
SHARLENE
Oh, nothing.
(Suddenly we hear
a loud wail from the living room and HAM bursts onto the porch, rushing
to Jimmy.)
HAM
Is that right? Is that what
Mrs. Fell said? That Rosalie and Art aren’t speaking?!
JIMMY
The whole family and Art.
HAM
I’m not going through with
it! I‘m not going through with it!
DIANE
You are too going through
with it.
HAM
What good is it gonna do
to go steady with her now? I can just see getting off the plane and being
hit in the head with a football.
DIANE
What the devil are you talking
about?
HAM
(beginning to bawl)
Not only won’t he even
look at me, he’ll probably pull all kindsa tricks. He’ll probably put a
metal dummy in place of the stuffed one and I’ll break my shoulder and
never play again!
(DICK and DODIE appear
in the living room doorway followed by ZONA and BUS.)
DIANE
Will you stop this nonsense!
HAM
It’s not nonsense. Ask Chuck
if it’s nonsense.
DIANE
Chuck Hatfield, get in here!
And stop crying, for Christ’s sake!
HAM
I’m not crying!
(CHUCK appears in
the doorway, meandering self-confidently toward Diane. He has already had
three drinks.)
DIANE
Oh, God! I told Bessie to
lock the liquor cabinet. What have you been telling him?
CHUCK
We’ve been talking boy-talk.
DIANE
Cut that out. Rosalie’s going
to be here any minute.
CHUCK
If girls can talk girl-talk,
boys can talk boy-talk.
DIANE
Will you tell him that Art
Knopf is not going to have his shoulder broken so he’ll never be able to
play football again!
CHUCK
Art Knopf is not going to
have your shoulder broken so you’ll never be able to play football again.
He’s gonna have your friggin’ leg broken!
DODIE
Chuck…
DIANE
Jimmy! Dick! Bus! Somebody
get him out of here…and hide the liquor.
(DICK and BUS start leading Chuck to the living room.)
CHUCK
Boy, some day some guy’s
gonna get into her and have his peter frozen off.
(THEY exit. DIANE whirls on Ham.)
DIANE
You stop this!
HAM
I’m not going through with
it!
DIANE
If you dare…if you dare back
out, I’m going to tell Mrs. Glass you’ve been writing your Spanish vocabulary
in the creases of your elbow just like Art Knopf did with his trig answers.
HAM
You better not, Diane Wolfe.
DODIE
Diane, wait. Ham, just because
Rosalie and Art aren’t speaking now doesn’t mean they won’t be speaking.
DIANE
She writes him on the sly.
She sends food parcels when her parents aren’t watching.
DODIE
Have you ever heard of members
of a family not speaking for two years?
HAM
Yeah. Chuck and his sister.
DIANE
Dodie’s talking about normal
people.
HAM
What’s so normal about Rosalie
Knopf?
DIANE
You’re thinking of the old
Rosalie.
HAM
No, I’m not. I’m thinking
about the same Rosalie you’re thinking about…the one I took to the Christmas
Dance.
DIANE
She looked beautiful at the
Christmas Dance.
HAM
I don’t care how she looked.
It was like dancing with a giant green Popsicle.
DIANE
It was not.
HAM
How do you know? You didn’t
dance with her.
DIANE
You listen to me. This party
is being given because you have finally received your replacement Key Club
pin. And you are going to give that pin to Rosalie the very moment after
we finish ‘Happy Pinning to You".
HAM
I don’t want to pin her!
DIANE
If you don’t…if you…
DODIE
Diane…
HAM
I’ve never wanted to pin
her.
JIMMY
I want to pin her!
(THE OTHERS turn to stare at him.)
I’ve got my Key Club
pin right here.
ZONA
You’re not allowed to. You’re
Race Gentry.
JIMMY
Huh?
DIANE
Ham is going to pin Rosalie.
JIMMY
But he doesn’t want to. And
I do.
DIANE
No, Jimmy…
ZONA
It’s a pinning party, and
someone should pin her.
JIMMY
Me! Let me!
SHARLENE
Stop acting like a fool.
JIMMY
Let Rosalie decide herself.
DIANE
This is just silly.
JIMMY
No, it’s not. She’s always
calling me up to drive her places. She could call other people to drive
her places, but she doesn’t. She calls me.
ZONA
Why don’t we put it to a
vote?
JIMMY
And she’s no Popsicle. She’s
mysterious. Can’t you tell the difference?
HAM
You never danced with her
either.
JIMMY
I did, too. I took her to
the Pep Club Dance because Sharlene asked me to.
SHARLENE
I had to beg you to!
JIMMY
She said I was the first
boy she ever danced with!
HAM
And she wasn’t a Popsicle?
JIMMY
Heck, no! She was just quiet
and aloof.
HAM
She was?
JIMMY
And she gets more aloof as
time goes by. You never know what’s going on inside. The more enthusiastic
you get about something, the more bored she gets.
HAM
Yeah?
JIMMY
Then all of a sudden she’ll
start talking…talking on and on and laughing and running her fingers through
her hair and telling the best sick jokes you ever heard…then all at once…zippo!
She just clams up and looks mysterious. Seniors have been trying to date
her.
HAM
Who, for instance?
JIMMY
Sonny Stroubie, for instance.
SHARLENE
Sonny Stroubie! He’s the
treasurer of the Senior Class!
HAM
Sonny Stroubie.
JIMMY
Let me pin her, Diane.
HAM
No. I’ll pin her.
JIMMY
No, Diane. Me.
HAM
I said I’ll pin her.
JIMMY
He doesn’t even appreciate
her.
HAM
I do, too.
(A car is heard driving up. DIANE goes to the door and peers out.)
DIANE
That’s the Knopf's car…the
front fender is torn off. Come on, everybody! Out with the lights!
(From the living
room come BABS, BIFF, BUS, EVIE, RICKIE and DOUG who join the others.)
EVIE
Diane…Chuck’s passed out.
BABS
He’s sprawled out all over
your vicuna rug.
DIANE
Oh, leave him there. And
douse those lights.
(Lights go off and the porch is almost pitch black.)
DIANE
Rosalie?
ROSALIE
Yes, Diane.
DIANE
In here.
ROSALIE
I can’t see a thing.
DIANE
The lights just went out.
I’ll have to get a fuse.
(We can see Rosalie’s
outline as SHE enters. Then the GROUP, with the exception of SHARLENE,
bursts into song, the lights go on and ROSALIE is standing at the door
looking more than ever like Diane.)
EVERYBODY
Happy pinning
to you!
Happy pinning to you!
Happy pinning, dear Rosalie,
Happy pinning to you!
(The GROUP
applauds. HAM steps forward, his Key Club pin in his huge fingers. HE reaches
out and clumsily tries to pin it on Rosalie’s dress.)
ROSALIE
No!
HAM
What?
ROSALIE
I’m sorry, Ham. I can’t accept
it.
HAM
Whatdya mean? I got the new
one just for you!
(to Diane)
I got the one you made
me get with the pearls in the "K". I coulda polished the corroded one.
ROSALIE
This is all very sweet of
you, but…
DIANE
Let me speak to Rosalie alone.
You all go inside and put on some records and dance.
(The GROUP begins to exit to the living room. JIMMY takes off his own pin.)
JIMMY
I got mine.
DIANE
Go dance, Jimmy.
(HE turns reluctantly and follows the others.)
HAM
(to Rickie)
It was just a little
green around the edges.
(THEY exit. In a
moment we can hear softly in the background the Perez Prado recording of
"Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White".)
ROSALIE
Oh, Diane, don’t think I’m
not grateful. This is all simply wonderful.
DIANE
Why won’t you accept Ham’s
pin?
ROSALIE
Sonny Stroubie’s asked me
to the Valentine Dance, and he’s important, Diane. He’s the vocalist with
the school band and he’s treasurer of his class and he’s a senior.
DIANE
I had to hear that from someone
else.
ROSALIE
I would have told you first,
Diane. You know that. But it only happened yesterday. And your phone’s
been busy all afternoon.
DIANE
Yes, it has, as a matter
of fact. You can still go to the Valentine Dance with Sonny Stroubie.
ROSALIE
But I’ll be pinned to Ham.
DIANE
Oh, Rosalie, being pinned
isn’t being married! Give it back in two weeks. The important thing is
having been pinned…not how long. Take Margot Robertson. She’s pretty stupid
about most things but not about that. She’s been pinned at one time or
almost every boy in that room. Now she’s going through the seniors like
a dose of salts.
ROSALIE
Don’t the boys mind?
DIANE
Of course they mind. That’s
why so many came over to my side when the chips were down. But you can’t
worry about that. Sometimes it’s a race to see who’ll give the pin back
first. You’ve heard about Margot’s collection of elephants?
ROSALIE
Mrs. Fell told me.
DIANE
Every single one of those
elephants has been given to her by boys she’s gone steady with. I’m told
it’s the most impressive collection of elephants in Southern Florida. I
know how you feel about Ham. I feel the same way. It’s as if if you split
him up the middle, cold Oatmeal would come oozing out. But he is one of
our top athletes, and his father is the Seashell King, so just hold your
breath for two weeks. That’s it! Why don’t you start collecting seashells
like Margot collects elephants? No. Seashells are so commonplace. I know!
Antique music boxes. My father’s second wife collected them.
ROSALIE
Diane. How come you’ve never
been pinned?
DIANE
Just one of those things
I guess…
(A bit embarrassed, DIANE hurries to the living room door.)
Ham! Everybody! Come
back in here.
(The GROUP files in. ROSALIE approaches Ham. Outside a car is heard.)
ROSALIE
I’ve thought it over, Ham,
and you can pin me.
HAM
Well, I…
(Reluctantly, HE removes the pin from his lapel and pins it on Rosalie.)
Now you gotta wear it
wherever you go. On trips and things. To Oklahoma, for instance.
DIANE
Now that you’ve given Rosalie
your pin, Ham, I think you ought to give her an antique music box.
HAM
Huh?
DIANE
Rosalie is starting a collection.
(A car door slams.)
HAM
I can get you a seashell
music box. You hold it up to your ear and shake it. And instead of hearing
the sea, you hear a French song called "The Sea".
(BETTY CLAIRE enters through the porch door, clutching a folded sheet
of paper.)
DIANE
Well, Betty Claire Richmond!
And only forty-five minutes late.
BETTY CLAIRE
Don’t start on me, Diane
Wolfe…
DIANE
You knew this was a surprise
party for Rosalie.
BETTY CLAIRE
I have my own surprise for
Rosalie. Everybody, I want you to see my surprise! Where’s Chuck?
DIANE
Passed out as usual.
BETTY CLAIRE
Poor Chuck. He’s been workin’
so hard. Bus, will you be an angel and wake Chuck up and bring him here?
(BUS exits through the living room door.)
I can’t really stay,
Diane. I just dropped by for a second to give Rosalie my surprise. I’ve
got another party to go to.
DIANE
What other party?
(BUS arrives
in the doorway with a very groggy CHUCK. BETTY CLAIRE unfolds the paper
in her hand.)
BETTY CLAIRE
This is for you, Rosalie.
I got it in the mail this mornin’. It’s from Klaus Stanko, the coach o’
the football team at the University o’ Oklahoma.
(reading)
"Dear Miss Richmond.
In reply to your letter concernin’ research on your book on famous football
players in the country today, here is the information you requested on
Art Knopf."
DODIE
Betty Claire!
BETTY CLAIRE
"He was born in McPherson,
Kansas, April 14, 1937. When he was three years old his parents were killed
in a tornado by flyin’ debris, and he spent most of his subsequent youth
in an orphanage in Kansas City. He has no livin’ relatives named Knopf…"
ROSALIE
That’s a lie!
BETTY CLAIRE
"…only one distant cousin
in Topeka named Grabmire. His hobbies are football, ice hockey, wrestlin’
and readin’. His favorite color is blue. His…"
ROSALIE
Just ask my father if that’s
not a lie!
DIANE
(snatching the letter)
Let me see that. Why,
it doesn’t even have a letterhead or a signature. And it’s typed on your
pink portable!
BETTY CLAIRE
It’s a copy, Diane. You don’t
think I’d bring the original over, do you?
ROSALIE
You’re not going to believe
her!
DIANE
Of course we’re not! Perhaps
the group would rather hear a true story about Betty Claire’s "aristocratic"
background in Macon…
BETTY CLAIRE
I thought you’d pull somethin’
like that…
DIANE
You know that plantation
she’s always talking about? The one those niggers…
BETTY CLAIRE
(raising her voice above Diane’s)
You all just wait one
second.
(opening the porch door and calling)
You can come in now!
(The car door slams.)
ROSALIE
You can ask my father if
it’s not true. There. You can call him right now.
BETTY CLAIRE
Your father is a liar! You
come from a whole family of liars!
DIANE
Don’t you dare!
(The porch door opens, and DAVID DUBIN, dressed for a party, enters.)
BETTY CLAIRE
You all know David Dubin.
(DAVID nods amiably at the group. ROSALIE is shocked.)
BETTY CLAIRE
He’s come to testify in behalf
o’ truth and justice. Haven’t you, David? Now raise your right and swear
that what you are about to say is the truth, the whole truth and nothin’
but the truth so help you God.
DAVID
So help me God.
BETTY CLAIRE
Is Art Knopf the brother
o’ Rosalie Knopf?
DAVID
No.
BETTY CLAIRE
Are you sure o’ that?
DAVID
She never even heard of Art
Knopf till I told her about him.
BETTY CLAIRE
Is it true that Rosalie came
over to your house…
DIANE
This is ridiculous! Get out
of here…both of you!
BETTY CLAIRE
Oh, hush up! I have facts.
Is it true that Rosalie came over to your house on the afternoon of December
the 13th?
DAVID
Yes.
BETTY CLAIRE
What did she say to you on
that afternoon?
DAVID
She told me she sent away
to the University of Oklahoma for a photograph of Art Knopf and that she
wrote on it "to my little sister Rosalie my favorite girl in the world"
and misspelled two words so that it would look authentic.
BETTY CLAIRE
What else did she tell you,
Davypoo?
CHUCK
Davypoo?!
DAVID
She told me she knew Ham
and Chuck both wanted to take you to the Christmas Dance, so she planted
the picture where Chuck would find it. She said she was lucky it worked
the first day, but that she was willing to trail him all over the school
and stick it down his shirt front if necessary.
HAM
Chuuuuck!
BETTY CLAIRE
Now, Diane Wolfe, what have
you got to say to that?
DIANE
Rosalie, this isn’t true…
ROSALIE
Of course it isn’t! You wouldn’t
listen to a damned, lying Jew! You wouldn’t believe… Yes. It’s true.
(The OTHERS are stunned.
SHARLENE flashes a smile of self-satisfaction toward Jimmy.)
BETTY CLAIRE
Margot’s throwin’ a big party
at her house tonight. All o’ you who want are invited to attend.
(SHARLENE is the
first to march to the door. The OTHERS just stand there in absolute silence.)
DAVID
Betty Claire is going with
me to the Valentine Dance.
(CHUCK reacts to
this, but BETTY CLAIRE shakes her head violently in his direction.)
BETTY CLAIRE
Margot says she’ll never
humiliate any o’ you by mentionin’ this whole thing ever again. She could
spread it around the school and have everyone laughin’ at you.
HAM
(marching to Rosalie)
Gimme back my pin.
(ROSALIE removes
it and hands it to him. HE follows Sharlene. In a second, ZONA and BUS
also depart.)
DIANE
Zona!
(EVIE and DOUG, then BABS and BIFF follow.)
Where are you all going?
You’ve accepted Rosalie. What difference does it make who her brother is?
Rickie!
RICKIE
I don’t want everyone laughing
at me, Diane.
(DICK trails after him, and DODIE begins to follow.)
DIANE
Dodie!
DODIE
I can’t help it, Diane.
DIANE
But you liked Rosalie from
the beginning.
DODIE
It’s not that…it’s…well,
let’s just forget everything that happened. I mean, we all were friends
with Margot once upon a time.
(SHE hurries out after Dick. A furious CHUCK strides to Betty Claire.)
CHUCK
Whatdya mean you’re going
to the Valentine Dance with this puss face?
BETTY CLAIRE
Oh, Chuck…
CHUCK
You gimme back that pin!
BETTY CLAIRE
Oh, Chuck…you know me…I was
just sayin’ that.
DAVID
You promised!
BETTY CLAIRE
Wait out in the car, David.
DAVID
You promised yesterday afternoon
in study hall!
BETTY CLAIRE
I said wait out in the car.
(DAVID turns reluctantly
and exits. CHUCK grabs Betty Claire’s left breast and squeezes it.)
CHUCK
You go with him to the Valentine
Dance and I’ll rip it right off its hinges.
BETTY CLAIRE
Not in front of Diane.
(SHE frees herself, and CHUCK exits. BETTY CLAIRE turns to Diane.)
BETTY CLAIRE
You’re invited, too.
DIANE
Get out of here.
BETTY CLAIRE
Margot was kind enough to
say she is willin’ to forget everythin’…all the awful things you’ve been
sayin’ about her…and pushin’ her in the pool. She says she’ll forgive you
provided you publicly apologize to everybody tonight.
DIANE
Get out of here! Get out
of here!
BETTY CLAIRE
Don’t you touch me, Diane
Wolfe!
(DIANE is already
at her, slapping her savagely as many times as she can. BETY CLAIRE screams,
finally extricates herself and goes rushing into the night. Only ROSALIE
and JIMMY MOORE remain. DIANE throws herself on the sofa sobbing hysterically.)
JIMMY
You want me to drive you
home?
ROSALIE
Thank you, Jimmy, but you’d
better go to Margot’s party.
JIMMY
Yes. I guess I better.
(HE hurries out.
The sounds of cars starting can be heard. ROSALIE takes a few steps toward
Diane.)
ROSALIE
Diane…
DIANE
You could have told me. I
told you things I’ve never told anybody!
ROSALIE
I’m sorry, Diane.
DIANE
I’m not staying in this goddamned
school another minute! I’m going back to Michigan! I don’t care if my parents
stay here or not. They’re never home anyway!
ROSALIE
I’ll return the presents.
I’ll pack them tonight and bring them over tomorrow.
DIANE
Oh, who cares about the presents!
ROSALIE
It isn’t fair to keep them.
DIANE
Who knows what’s fair?
ROSALIE
Good night.
DIANE
(suddenly sitting up, her face wet with tears)
You did like me, didn’t
you? You weren’t just pretending about that?
LIGHTS QUICKLY DIM
