I had a fascinating dream while napping tonight . . revisiting many classic personal themes; the supernatural, my role as protector, the uncertainty and betrayal of trust, and "they're after me." Generally my most coherent and vivid dreams happen when I've been awakened from sleep and drift off again, or when I'm taking a brief nap. When you're that much closer to consciousness already, your mind has a better chance of organizing the near-random impulses into a relatively linear affair, even possessed of "plot." Many people's dreams are more random than others' . . but mine seem to go out of their way to develop themes and plotlines which unfold and mature over the course of the dream. In the case of this dream I just had, "plot" is the right term for it . . . I was starting to uncover a conspiracy involving ordinary people being taken over by some force and creating a deep network from which to infiltrate and influence. Granted, there's a lot of fuzziness, and areas where I simply "know" what happened, as opposed to having participated in it in the dream. One thing I recall clearly is color . . . you know, I ought to resume my efforts into lucid dreaming and mental projection. How's THAT for one of those personal interests?
It (the dream) started out with an Awakening of a different sort . . . the realization that I had changed in power and nature, possibly to give me the ability to effectively face the challenges to come. My house in the dream was set into a hill, and is more justly described as a manor rather than a mere house. It had the elegant, high sloping wood shingle roof and clean, white stucco experior. I received the impression of the manor as my consciousness was finding itself in my car, driving along an unimportant and nondescript road which was nonetheless decidedly suburban, as if found in College Park or Laurel. In the unassuming manor of dreams, I found myself directly in front of another car, deep blue, I think, and moderately sporty without being an insurance-killer, much like a Probe, for instance. There were two girls in the car, one being Amy (Walker) and other unidentified, I'm afraid. I found myself no longer behind my own windshield, but rather floating in front of theirs. The girls and I contemplated each other for a minute, and despite the . . . "unusual" nature of the situation, neither party appeared to be particularly spooked. I was actually looking for signs of fear of bewilderment on their faces, but I just got looks back of cool, calm recognition, and found out why shortly. Amy's always been a pretty smart cookie.
After the period of mutual sizing-up, I was seated in their car, next to Amy, and the other girl was no longer present. I could see my own gold-ish Buick LeSabre parked directly in front of us. Amy and I greeted one another, and realizing my body was in fact sleeping back at the house, I told Amy what was going on, but she was already ahead of me. She nodded and said "I know," and explained that she wasn't really present either, but was at home playing the piano in the flesh. That told me that neither of us was anywhere in the real world at the moment, but rather was contacting the other mentally in a world created on the fly by our minds to give us somewhere to meet. (Had we been mentally meeting in the real world, our cars would not have been present, as our bodies were otherwise engaged, and my car was darn well empty across from me.)
It was with that understanding, and an awareness that my own being had changed that I flew/walked back to the house. I was physical again, but knew that I had an awakened supernatural power. Nearing the house, with it and the hill rising before me as I walked the path around and up the side, I was thinking to myself of how I had always had a more direct connection to the supernatural than most, but now it was a firmer, more direct and permanent force. I thought "I NEVER should have gotten so involved . . ." (I haven't told anyone yet, but I've been strongly considering learning a specific area of the occult, on the premise that it really has no power, and if it does, to witness and analyze it. Way to play with fire, I know. Well, I haven't yet, and if I *did,* I wouldn't tell anyone about it until I'd already learned. -- NO, it has nothing to do with summoning anything or communication with spirits or the dead. Sheesh. I'm curious, and a bit reckless, but not ENTIRELY stupid.)
Anyway, I don't know if this real-life interest is how the "shouldn't have gotten so involved" element found its way into the dream, but it's a possibility. I'm afraid I'm going to have to explain a large part of the plot for a bit from impressions that I have, rather than direct dream memories. There's this indistinct time marked by emotions and vague understanding. I began to encounter signs that an unknown body (i.e. group/faction/force) was playing a part tangentially involved in my life, and that it was a malicious organization of evil. I started finding this code phrase, which I wish I could remember . . . it was two words, one of which was a female name, maybe started with an "m" . . . but I would encounter this phrase on computer systems belonging to those affiliated with the organization. The more I learned about who was involved the more danger I was in of coming to direct notice, and eventually they became aware that *someone* was poking their nose where it didn't belong. Additionally, my investigations and suspicions had led me to my own family. This is where the dream took on a real edge of paranoia. I knew I was in imminent danger of being caught, and especially if my own family were involved, turning my attention on them was just asking for death at their hands.
Just as I was about to begin the search for the code phrase on my home computer the dream shifted, and I was in a car yet again, in a parking lot this time, and with two girls, one of whom was Cindy Carter and the other of whom was again, unID'd. I haven't seen Cindy in well over a year, and more possibly two. We went to high school together, and now she attends a pretty strict Christian college, possibly Bob Jones--a place I've considered attending simply to see how many infractions I can commit before being expelled. I believe the FIRST thing I would do would be to obtain large amounts of contemporary Christian hard rock, metal, and heck, even some lighter stuff that's nonetheless contraband, just so I could get in trouble for listening to music glorifying to God at a Christian institution. [shrug] Step number two would be to start setting up dates with as many Christian girls outside my own racial background as possible, so I could listen to them try to justify giving me demerits for spending time with a sister in Christ because of her skin color . . .although I hear they aren't as strict on that as they used to be. Anyway, it's too expensive to justify even the enormous amount of fun I would have. Well, off the rabbit trail and back to Cindy, she was and, presumably, still is a wonderful girl, one of the nicest I know, and quite attractive, to boot, but for some reason, wasn't my type . . . I think it's because she didn't seem as . . .hmm, my reasons keep melting away as I try to write them. Well, for one, a friend of mine has been after her for years and yearrs, but that's the only one coming to mind at the moment. You know what's worse? She lives on my honking street. I pass her house at least twice every day.
Pardon me while I take a moment to hit myself on the head with a blunt instrument of opportunity. Well, she's probably dating someone anyway. --NOT that I'm not going to do a bit of investigation, mind you. Good grief, that brings my list of possible new leads to FOUR, not even counting known females. That SETTLES it. I'm going to HAVE to get a job with a regular schedule that leaves open my weekend. No question. At least I'm looking into one of these leads tomorrow. (Well, today, but that's what happens when you write this late at night.) Once again, back to Cindy . . . so there we were, the two girls in the back seat and myself in the front passenger seat. Interesting . . . no driver. The unstated but known relationship between Cindy and I in the dream was one of solid mutual friendship, and the desire to at least allow for the possibility of more. It's funny, but I haven't been able to at all seriously consider Linnie as a possibility in, well, forever, but I had a dream a couple months ago in which we were really good friends, and I started to wonder about how time has changed the both of us. Don't tell HER that, mind you. I don't plan to even CASUALLY explore renewed contact with her for months, if it all . . . but I wonder. At least the thought of NOT being in some real way reconciled to her hasn't hurt for ages. Nice to know I'm getting all healed up.
[back at the ranch] In the car, we knew there were hostiles on the outside, although the door wasn't locked yet. These hostiles, of course, being the aforementioned agents of said evil force. Without having DONE it in the dream, I nonetheless knew that I had found the code phrase on my home computer, and this was the part where they were coming for me, and for some reason, Cindy and the other girl. Don't know if it was the same girl who was with Amy or not. There was an impact on the roof, and suddenly a face jutted over the windshield. The person didn't have a corresponding real-world ID that I recognized, but in the dream it was someone who had been taken over by the force/entity(ies.) I don't know how, but she was already almost dead, and for some reason I can't tell you, the windshield had enough give that when I kicked the glass, the impact was transferred to the injured hostile's face. I delivered a series of strong kicks to her, hoping to finish her off, and I think it succeeded. Nonetheless, there were more, and one of them opened my door and tried to attack me. The girls in back huddled together, shielding each other, although Cindy was the dominant "caretaker" of the two. I fought the guy and managed to break his neck, and realized that chances were good that if I could keep them divided and attack them singly, I could overcome them. They didn't seem to be doing a good job of team coordination, and an uncoordinated team is less effective than a lone operative in combat. I didn't want to leave the girls, but figured that if I locked the doors and provided a significant distraction they should be safe, and if the weren't, well, the things were going to get us anyway, and there was no point in waiting for death to come to US.
I couldn't take the keys with me, because if I were killed, they'd be able to take them from me and get to the girls, so I opened the door after doing my best to insure that none of them were in immediate reach, and locked myself out of safety to do what I had to. That was, more or less, where the dream ended, although I was taking the fight to them and kicking some butt. I'm positive that that little scene would have ended well, although the larger force and organization was still out there and would doubtless continue with other attempts on my life.
Boy, I sure write a lot. I need to make an easier interface for accessing these entries. I think I'll put links at the top of the page to the start of each dated entry. There's more I wanted to write about, but I really ought to get some sleep tonight. If I go to bed now, I can still get a good six hours' worth, which should be ok. Well, to those who remembered my birthday, thank you. = ) [hugs] I hope to have many more years with you! Good night.