Monday, May 1, 2000

running away... running away... yesterday i was wondering if i would know if i was running from my problems or just moving on. today i wonder if it's even considered running away if there isn't anything to run away from. i plan to take my 'issues' with me when/if i go anywhere (notice they are no longer consider 'problems').

believe it or not.... i'm still in therapy. been there since september. i approached jonathan *my therapist* with the idea that i quit soon. stop going all together. he laughed at me thinking i was joking around with him. i guess that would be my clue that it's not quite the right time... in his eyes at least. he is the professional....

i'm going to talk to him about it tomorrow anyway. i think i have a legitamite point when i say that i wouldn't be running from anything.... i'm more than happy to take them with me if it means that i can just get out of the Hell Hole commonly referred to as Chicago. i don't know... i just don't know... will i ever?

Sunday, April 30, 2000

I wonder when or if I'll ever know when moving isn't "running" but starting new. Ya see, I'm a runner. It's funny, actually, I hate running... the long distance, cross-country type running that they do in high school or the olympics. It's pretty ironic now that I think about it. I'm such a great runner! I never look back... until I'm forced too.

I haven't been around here much lately. I've been looking at the things in my past... sortin' through my attic filled with scary things and aggrevating things and ugly and hurtful things. I haven't the slightest idea what I will do with all of them now that I've found them... I do know that I need desperately to get back here. I've "wandered" too far from here. I think that I'm back though... I've missed you all. Thanks for waiting around. kisses.......... me