Bath #2 I want to write something so damn thought provoking ........ an entry that will have people saying "Man, you have to read that ...missing pieces... journal!" but then i realize that i have a total of 4 readers and well.... 3/4 of them (yes, 3 of them) are from an entirely different continent... OK, i have zero idea what relevance that has, sorry. anyway.... i just don't have it lately! I've been so angry at everyone and everything lately that i've stopped looking around for the things that make me happy.... make me think about things that i'm grateful for or.... things that i really have compassion for....... i have been going out with this guy though... he seems to make me feel happy when he's around.. or just on the phone. BUT! my past experience with relationships eats away at me telling me to stay back and don't get too excited about things just yet.... I'm actually afraid to admit that we really have some great talks.... talks about things that i haven't thought about in ages... and, well, every now and then i see him smiling at me in my mind and it gives me that funny feeling in my tummy.... Awwwwwww.... I keep finding myself gravitating toward my bathroom... baths... 2, sometimes 3 a night i take! (have i mentioned that i think i'm a bit obsessive :o) I can't help wondering what it is I'm trying to wash away... it coud be i'm just thinking TOO much because of the therapy-mode i've been in for the last few months..... OR.... it could really be that i AM trying to clean out my past thoughts and behaviors, the bad ones, so that i can start recognizing and enjoying the happy things again...... hm......... *shrug* i don't know.......... at least i'm clean! ;o) kisses for you.......... (all 4 of you) jami |