The Giani and I (Part 2)

" Your holiness," I lamented, " The world has become too hectic and fast for me. People rush and rush. There is a rush for buses, a rush for cinema seats, a rush for MRT seats and a rush for gifts. It's a mad rush out there. Even inanimate objects begin to rush. Just now, as my foot was on the last step of the bus, it zoomed and rushed away from under me."

As I was standing, I decided to sit below the bench. After all, to get anything done, one must have humility. And anyway, in Hindi films, the worshippers always sit below the worshipped.

"Ah-so," said the Giani, "you rush for rushilitis rushidiah. It a rush aversion of the worst sort."

My brain registered a click. Input. Vocabulary. But the reference to a dictionary had to wait. It could be one of the Giani's coined words that nobody ever used.

" There is only one cure for it. You must ah-kah-liao with your soul and spirit. Learn to slow your inner self. Imagine that no matter what the rush, you are watching the world in slow motion, like a football replay. Soon people too will slow down."

So that was the solution to my first problem. Slow down my inner self. To quote the Giani ah-kah-liao with it. It also gave me an insight to the Giani's past. He must have done his bit for the country. And possibly supported Man U in his heydays.

"Another thing is that I find troubling is the materialism of women in the world, Giani-ji. None of them will go out on dates unless you have a car. Alamak , I cannot afford a COE so I will probably be having a dateless decade." I said.

"Ah-so," said the Giani, " You must get the ball rolling. Tell your friends. If all the men got together and stopped having cars then sooner or later the girls, being less pampered and out of choice, would learn to buy up bus shares and get bus passes. Girls should realize that cars are not essential bread and butter stuff."

The sun had set. The Giani had to turn his gaze on less important matters. I trudged out of the Gardens and decided the try the bread and butter stuff on Hard Kaur , whom I had tried to date earlier.

I plunked a ten cent coin into the nearest coin phone and waited for the reply.

" Hello," I said, "Hard Kaur, isn't it ? It's me. How about a date this weekend?"

There was some heavy fuming at the other end.

"Look," she said finally, "I have told you so many times. Get a car. How to go on dates in crowded buses? How? Tell me how?"

No hope at all . So I decided try the Giani's bread and butter stuff.

"Alright, Hard ", I said softly, "You want to go on a date with someone who has a car, right?"

"Yes," she said, "That is the spirit."

"Right," I retorted," I will introduce you to my friend, James Putumaniam. He has a car alright . He is a taxi driver."

Thanks Goodness I only heard the first word of her reply. Telecoms should be thanked for their 3 minute limits on calls.