Short Takes
Q: What travels faster, heat or cold?
A: Heat, because it is easy to catch a cold.
Mom: Lalit, I thought I told you to watch for the milk boiling over.
Lalit: I did Mom, it boiled over five minutes ago.
Teacher: Nancy what is a cannibal?
Nancy: I don't know maam.
Teacher: Well, if you were to eat your parents, what would you be?
Nancy: An orphan maam.
Q: Why do we say, `he earns his bread...' when what we really mean is
`he earns his money ...'?
A: Because everybody `kneads' it.
Q: Why are tall people lazier than short people?
A: Because they're longer in bed.
Display board outside a women's wear shop: A good place to shop for
women.
Two girls discussing the handsome new lecturer.
``He dresses so well,'' said the first.
``Yes, '' agreed the second. ``And so quickly too!''
Student: I is ...''
Teacher: No, you must say, I am
Student: All right -- I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
One Mom to another
First Mom: My boy is growing up, he wants to go out with girls.
Second Mom: My boy is past that. He wants to stay indoors with them.
``Let me count the notes,''said the burglar to his companion, after
looting a bank.
``Don't bother. The amount will be published in tomorrow's newspaper,''
said his companion.
Doctor: I regret to say that the cheque you gave me has come back.
Patient: So has my fever.
Judge: Have you anything to offer the court before the sentence is
passed on you?
Prisoner: No sir, I had Rs 200 but my lawyer took it.
Teacher: How can you say that animals have powerful eyes?
Student: I've never seen them wearing glasses.
Father: Sunil what would you like to be when you grow up?
Sunil: A veterinary doctor.
Father: Why, a veterinary doctor?
Sunil: Because an animal can't complain of wrong treatment.
Q: Where do you find cherries in ponds?
A: In Pondicherry (a state(?) in Southern India)
Manoj: I was sending a letter to my girlfriend almost everyday.
Suresh: Then what happened?
Manoj: She fell in love with the postman and got married!
Q: Why did the absent-minded professor go out without wearing his pants?
A: Because he had only a half-length mirror.
Q: What did a sneezing champion win in the Olympics?
A: A cold medal.
Q: Where would you always find a helping hand?
A: At the end of your arm.
Q: Who is a diplomat?
A: One who thinks twice before saying nothing.
Q: Where does success comes before work?
A: Only in the dictionary.
Q: What is the full form of `Stupid'?
A: Smart, talented, unique person in demand.
If a guy opens the car door for his girl, either the girl is new or the
car is.
Q: There are seven letters in an English word -- the first two letters
stand for man, the first three for woman and first four for the brave
man and all seven stand for brave woman, which is that word?
A: Heroine.