An Irishman, a Mexican, and a West Virginia redneck were doing construction

work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch

and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and

cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off of this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get

burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The West Virginia redneck opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get

a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping, too."

The next day the Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage

and jumps to his death. The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps

too. The West Virginia redneck opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to

his death also.

At the funeral the Irishman's wife is weeping. She says, "If I'd known how

really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to

him again!

The Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him two tacos or

enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the West Virginia redneck's wife. "Hey, don't

look at me," she said. "He makes his own lunch!"

A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed. "Have

you any last requests? asked the chaplain. "Yes," replied the murderer. "Will

you hold my hand when they pull the switch ?"

A man was caught for speeding and went before the judge. The judge said, "What

will you take 30 days or $30." The man said , " I think I will take the money."

"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome

you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are

currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic." "If

you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will

observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the

windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off."

"If you look down towards the Atlantic Ocean, you will see a little yellow

life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the

co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message."