Barbeque (Pun)

This weekend while shopping in a local toy store, I came across a long

line of people waiting for a promised shipment of dolls from Mattel. As

I scanned the line, I noticed a friend waiting with all the others. I

knew my friend had no daughters or young relatives, so I figured he must

like the dolls himself. "Bill," I said going up to him, "I didn't know

you were a collector!" "I'm not," he replied. "Oh," I said, "You're

buying a gift, then." "No, not at all," my friend responded. "If you

don't mind my asking then Bill," I said, "Why are you standing in this

line?" "Oh that," he answered. "It's like this," my friend stated,

"I've never been able to resist a barbie queue!"

Eskimos

Two Eskimos set out to hunt the fur bearing seals of the Arctic, They

loaded their small, two man canoe with all the gear they'd need and

sailed out into the cold ocean waters. Their hunt was very successful,

so successful, in fact, that the boat was overladen with seals and seal

skins. They had to throw many of their supplies away in order to stash

their rich cache of furs. On their way back to their village, they

encountered a fierce storm. In order to survive, they knew that they'd

have to build a fire to keep warm; but they had thrown all their fuel

out of the boat. Nevertheless, they managed to build a small fire in the

craft, but the fire blew out of control, sinking the boat and causing

the loss of all the furs. The Eskimos learned a valuable lesson: ... You

cant have your kayak and heat it too.

Tomato Tales

One day Mama Tomato, Papa Tomato, and Baby Tomato were taking a walk in

town. Now Baby Tomato was a distractible, mischievous sort, and try as

they might, they could not keep their son from dawdling and getting into

trouble.

All of the sudden, upon leaving a store, Mama Tomato looked around and

to her dismay, Baby Tomato was gone! "Oh No!" she cried, holding her

arms up in dismay.

Papa Tomato soon found him standing in front of the candy store window,

mesmerized by all its tasty treats. Papa Tomato grabbed Baby Tomato's

arm and half dragged him back to his sobbing mother, castigating him all

way.

Well, for any normal tomato this would have been enough, but soon, Mama

Tomato looked around, and once again, could not spot her son. This time

Papa Tomato found him in front of the toy store, eyeing a shiny

Hula-Hoop. This time Papa Tomato picked him up and carried him bodily

back to where his now-hysterical mother stood. "If you lag behind one

more time..." threatened the now-furious Papa Tomato.

But sure enough, once again, Mama Tomato looked around and discovered

that once again her son was missing. This time Papa Tomato found Baby

Tomato ogling the ice cream stand. At this, Papa Tomato turned purple

with rage, marched over to where his son was and, unable to control his

temper any longer, lifted up his leg and stomped on poor Baby Tomato's

head, yelling, ... "Catch up!!"