Final Exam

The blonde reported for her University final examination which consisted of

"true/false" questions. She took her seat in the examination hall, stared at

the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration took

out her purse, removed a coin, and started tossing the coin and marking the

answer sheet - True for Heads and False for Tails. Within half an hour she

had completed the exam while the rest of the class was feverishly continuing

to work. During the last few minutes, she desperately began throwing the

coin, swearing, and sweating. The instructor, alarmed, approached her and

asked if there was a problem. "I finished the exam in half an hour," she

replied, "Now, I am rechecking my answers."

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Below is a list of words. Read each of these words with the word "bear"

before each all the way down.

Bear

Say

Ass

Dumb

This

Make

Can

I

Times

Many

How

Look

Now repeat the exercise going up the list.

If you didn't get it, read the list going up without saying bear before the

words.

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A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you

to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated."

"What do you want me to do with your ashes?" his friend asked.

The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the

Internal Revenue Service and write on the envelope, "Now you have everything."