A man decides to join the circus. He shows up

to demonstrate his skills to the impresario.

"I have the most unusual act," he announces.

"I'm sure it will amaze you."

He proceeds to climb a tall tower, and jumps off.

He flaps his arms wildly, and finally his fall slows.

He soars forward, then swoops upward, turns

and swoops back again. Finally, he stops in mid

air and gently lowers himself to the ground.

The impresario stares blankly at him for a long time.

Finally he says, "Is that all you've got? Bird imitations?"

*********************************************************

"The Garden Party"

A wealthy woman is giving a garden party, and

several well-to-do guests attend. While the party

ensues, two gardeners are out on the back lawn

working. One of the guests was watching the

gardeners do their thing, and while one gardener

was busy weeding the other jumped up and did

graceful swirling dance movements.

Taken by his grace, the guest remarked to the host,

"That man is such a talented dancer, that I'd pay

him a hundred pounds to demonstrate his dancing

before my aerobics class!"

When the host asked the first gardener about such

an arrangement, he yelled, "Hey Fred! Do you think

for a hundred pounds you could step on that rake again?"

***********************************************************

" Volunteer "

Eleven people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging

rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount

Everest.

Ten were blonde, one was a brunette.

As a group they decided that one of the party should let go.

If that didn't happen the rope would break and everyone

would perish.

For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered.

Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she

would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others.

The blondes applauded.