Stage 

During a performance for the high school drama class

at the local theatre, a hole was cracked in the stage floor.

Subsequent acts managed to avoid the damaged area until little

Freddy, juggling bowling pins, accidentally stepped through the hole

up to his knee. He apologized to the audience for his clumsiness.

But a heckler in the back of the theatre shouted:

"Don't worry, Freddy! It's just a stage you're going through!"

***************************************************************

The Sound of Music

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe,

as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental

car along a rather deserted highway. It was late, and raining very hard.

Bob could barely see 20 feet in front of the car. Suddenly the car

skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no

avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree. Moments later,

Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at

the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head

bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has

to carry her to the nearest phone. Bob carefully picks his wife up and

begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light.

He heads towards the light, which is coming from an old, large house.

He approaches the door and knocks. A minute passes.

A small, hunched man opens the door.

Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty.

We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone??"

"I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone.

My master is a Doctor; come in and I will get him!" Bob brings his wife in.

An elegant man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you.

I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic,

and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do.

Igor, bring them down to the laboratory." With that, Igor picks up Betty

and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places

Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries,

so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table. After a brief examination, Igor's master

looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master

work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.

The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to

his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always

found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting, melody fills the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement,

and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch. Stunned, he watches as

Bob's arm begins to rise! He is further amazed as Betty sits straight up!

Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory.

He bursts in and shouts to his master:

"Master, Master! ... The Hills are alive with the sound of music!

(By Christopher Heer ) _______________________________________________