A Miss and a Dismiss

My life has been a misadventure of sorts. In relationships, for example, I always end up with misalliances. Many people believe I am a misanthrope. Other go a step further. They claim I am a misogynist. Unfounded charges, I must assure you. Totally mischievous. But, surprise, surprise- nobody calls me a racial bigot. I am well known for my staunch support of that great thing in life called miscegenation, or other miscibles leading to the miserable condition called marriage.

Now enough of the introductions. One fine day I was called into the office by the miserly miscreant called the company director.

"Miscalculations, misconceptions, misfiling, misdirected mail, mischances, misfeasances and miscounts are understandable," he droned, " but misappropriations I view as absolute misdemeanors."

" You misunderstand," I replied," You make me sound like a misfit, like a soldier who misfires his missiles, like a man who exudes misfortune. Indeed you misjudge me. To be more blunt, you mistreat me. You make me sound so mish mash. Almost like a man who gets a mistress and does not know what to do with it." (The last part was to add some sex to the story)

So I had to explain my mistake, my miscalculated misjudgment if you like more refined language. It wasn't difficult. I had no misbegotten gains to hide.

" You see, on Monday mornings, I have my head in the mist of the weekend. So last Monday was exactly like that. I misguided some money for our Misty Road office to our Mistri Road office. Naturally the various pen pushers recorded the mishap in this misdirected transaction. And so was the payroll accordingly mislabeled and misguided. In no time at all the money was misstated and missing. And presto, that is it."

I had done well. Who on Earth could beat that ? And more importantly, I was convinced that a misstep or misdirected misquotation could never be taken to court, and if it was, it would be thrown out as a mistrial.

True. But I did not reckon on the company. For my mistake, I was sent a missive to inform me that I had mismanaged company affairs and the company and me were a terrible mismatch.

Then, with the same zeal of a missionary on a make or break mission, the letter went on,"........ For your misgovernment, the company awards you the miss - from all future paysheets."