by Pat Nordman

I read Proverbs at least once a year. As I read it this year, I thought about these couples and what verses might apply to their situations. Two in particular stood out: "The wise woman builds her house..." Proverbs 14:1; "Wisdom has built her house; she has hewn out its seven pillars." Proverbs 9:1.

We women are social architects who build for the future, working in the present regardless of the present fads. It's like being in the world but not of it. We build our houses and homes on the seven pillars of:

1) Love, agape love that is unconditional. We are willing to give whether we get back in return or not. We are wise enough to weigh in on God's scales, not the world's. Sometimes the scales are not in our favor. Jesus died because of unconditional love and scales weighted down with misunderstanding and injustice. It must grieve Him when we demand our so-called rights. The only right Jesus had was to die for us. What a thought this is for us, when we get discouraged at the seeming inequality.

2) Faith, that grand power to believe without a doubt that God knows what He is doing, even if we don't at times. In the midst of his anguish, Job declared, "I know that my Redeemer lives..." Job 19:25. What a burst of faith and hope! Robert Schuller calls it turning our millstone into a milestone and our scars into stars. Only great faith in Someone who can do that for us will enable us to do it with Him. "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." John 13:7. What enormous faith it takes to believe that when we are enduring while trying to be endearing!

3) Gratitude. A wise Anonymous said, "Gratitude is the memory of the heart." How can we not be grateful when we remember the blessings of God in our life? I believe this is one of the most important pillars for our home. At the wedding we take each other; unfortunately, after the wedding we take each other for granted. Appreciation helps to keep the love alive.

4) Self-Respect. This may seem a strange pillar, but we women need to believe we are good people. We need to know that God uses His time on valuable cloth only; why should He waste time on rags? Along with the men, we women are made in God's image. But assertiveness isn't the answer to our question of rights. Jesus' sole description of Himself is in Matthew 11:29: "...I am gentle and humble in heart..."  

5) Patience. God cuts our cloth to fit His pattern. When we are anxious to run away from our responsibilities, it can help if we see Him cutting off the dangling strings and carefully cutting and fitting us to His pattern--His purpose--for us. Especially in marriage He is daily cutting away our unsightly and unseemly strands.

6) Hope in our future. Without hope we lose sight of our opportunities. God wants us to be successful: "For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11.

7) Joy. This particular pillar holds us up through hard times. Joy isn't happiness, but happiness is a by-product of joy. A friend uses the acronym JOY for Jesus, Others, and You to spell out what makes joy in our lives. God wants us to be joyful. He never forecasted gloom and doom for us.

8) Discretion, another pillar that Proverbs itself reminds us of several times. The essence of wisdom is caution and a knowing when to act and speak. A wise grandmother told her grandchildren, "Always tell the truth, but don't always be telling it." Certainly gossip is involved here. This is one of the main supporting pillars in our lives.

9) Sacrifice. Life costs much in commitment, particularly in marriage. It's really a 100-100 proposition. And we can't afford to allow our spouse's IOUs to add up in the drawer of our minds, only to pull them out during stress times. We might try putting our own IOUs into the drawer. Contentment is removing the IOUS from contentious!

Prayer:

Father, thank You for abolishing our walls of hostility (Ephesians 2:14.) You have given us the privilege of being women who build with You.