The Fraternity Files Part Four: The Summons

Chapter 13: Growing Up

-OR-

Reflections Prompted By a Proverb

From “To a Mouse”

By: Robert Burns

But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
 
In proving foresight may be vain:
 
The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
 
Gang aft a-gley. 40
 
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain
 
For promised joy.

Matt had been prepared for anything when he opened the door. Kevin and Danny would mow him down (or try to) he was sure in their efforts to get to Ryan. He was prepared to deal with that. He was prepared to deal with the screaming tantrums, the expletives, the seething rage he was sure they would unleash on him; he was not prepared, however, for the situation that was now facing him.

A thick blanket of silence still hung in the air and quietly Matt drew a chair up beside the bed where both his younger brothers lay motionless, their heads shoved as far under the pillows and blankets as they could go. Except for the slight movement of the bed spread as their shoulders rose and fell, Matt would not have been sure at all that either of them was breathing. He leaned on his knees and looked thoughtfully at them, hoping he would not have to speak first. He really didn’t know what to say.

Several minutes passed in this manner and Matt began to grow anxious. It was so hard to begin. He didn’t want to say something that would only make things worse and he had no clues to help guide his words. ‘What had they heard? How much? How bad had it been? What could he possibly say/do to make it better?’ It would be so much easier if they were raging at him. That he could handle. “Are you guys all right?” he asked softly at last. It was a moment before he got any response at all, but finally, Kevin took his head out from under the pillows and turned his face towards him. Matt swallowed hard as he looked back into the puffy red eyes. “Hey, Bud,” he greeted gently.

“Is it over?” Kevin whispered hoarsely, hugging the pillows to his chest.

“Yeah, Bud, it’s over,” Matt assured quietly.

“Is he ok?” Kevin choked.

“Yeah, Bro. He’s all right.” Kevin pressed his face back into the pillows, and there was once again nothing but silence. “Tell me what you’re thinking guys,” Matt urged softly.

“YoudontwannaknowwhatImthinking,” Danny’s muffled sob was the only answer he got and it was nearly unintelligible but Matt, knowing his younger brother as he did, was able to piece the words together.

“Yes, I do, Dan,” he replied quietly. “Tell me.”

“No! I’ll just get in more trouble!”

Matt bit his lip. He certainly didn’t want his younger brothers to be afraid to tell him how they were feeling. He was a big proponent of open communication. He was going to have to try and teach them all the difference between being honest and being disrespectful. “You won’t get in trouble, Dan,” he assured, now. “Not as long as you speak to me respectfully.”

“Well, I’m not feeling very respectful, right now!” Danny protested as he finally emerged from under the blankets to glare at his brother.

“Ok, Bro,” Matt returned gently. “It’s ok that you’re upset with me. I expected that you would be.”

“I just don’t know why you had to do that to him!” Danny sobbed. “Why, Matt? I’m the reason he’s in trouble! He was just trying to protect me!”

“And they were both just looking out for me!” Kevin added from his own stack of pillows.

“If you were going to cane anyone, it should have been me!” Danny continued as if Kevin had not spoken. “I’m the one who can’t seem to keep my big fat mouth shut!”

“Ryan went after Mcarthy twice,” Matt replied simply.

“Yes and both times it was because of me!”

“He went after him twice?” Kevin turned his head on the pillows again to look tearfully at Matt and Matt nodded. “When?” Kevin sobbed. “When was the other time?”

“Right before the last playoff game, in the locker room. Mcarthy was giving Danny a hard time and Ryan lost it. Fortunately Steve was there to prevent any major disasters but it certainly didn’t help Ryan’s case today.”

“But it was because of me! He was trying to protect me!” Danny insisted once more.

“Do you blame Kevin for what happened in the common room?” Matt demanded.

“No! Of course not!” Danny responded as Kevin stuffed his head under the pillows again. “He wasn’t even there and I made those bad decisions. Not him!” Matt raised his eyebrows, and Danny added quickly. “But it’s different!”

“Oh yeah? How so?”

“It just is!” Danny snapped.

“Weren’t you trying to protect Kevin?”

“Yes, but . . . .”

“And wasn’t Ryan trying to protect you?”

“I know but . . . .”

“No ‘but’s’ Little Bro. It’s the same thing. I know everyone’s intentions were good and I know no one meant for things to escalate the way they did, but they did, and we had no choice but to deal with it as the serious matter it is. You guys have to understand that, good intentions or not, you can’t go knocking people around like that!”

“Well what about Mcarthy? It’s ok for him to just say whatever he wants!? To do whatever he wants? It’s ok for him but not for us?”

“No, of course not,” Matt replied soothingly. “Of course it’s not ok. He has to play by the rules too. But it gets tricky when it’s just words. Because he is the older one, you guys do not have a lot of room for retaliation. That’s just how it is. You have to try and ignore him whenever possible and not let him get to you. Every time you respond, he’s getting just exactly what he wants. If you can’t ignore him, you can respond verbally. I don’t think anyone would argue your right to defend yourselves that way, but if it reaches a certain level you have to walk away and let us deal with it; let Steve deal with it. The moment you throw punches you take our leverage away too. Do you understand?”

“I guess,” Danny sobbed, but he didn’t sound too sure and Kevin didn’t respond at all; he just hugged the pillows tighter.

“Listen guys,” Matt began as the silence grew once more. “I understand how hard this is . . . .”

“No you don’t!” Danny challenged. “You don’t understand! How can you possibly understand? Have you ever been caned? Do you even remember what that fucking paddle feels like??”

“Language,” Matt reminded.

“Sorry,” Danny huffed. “But do you??” A long moment went by as Matt just gazed at his brothers. They were entering uncomfortable territory here. These were things he didn’t like to remember let alone talk about. He didn’t generally talk about such things to anyone except . . . well, except to Jason who had seen him through some incredibly difficult moments. Steve might be aware of some of those stories; in fact Matt was sure his younger partner knew all of them, but because of the dynamics of their relationship Matt had never talked in depth about any of his punishments, never shared his feelings about them. If he didn’t want to talk about it with Steve, he was even more reluctant to talk about it with his two youngest brothers. He was quiet for so long that Danny and Kevin finally turned their heads once more to look at him. They looked searchingly at their big brother, but they did not push. The look on Matt’s face told them not to, and there were times that even they knew better.

“Yes,” he replied softly at last. “Yes, I remember how the paddle feels,” he hesitated as he continued to hold his little brothers’ eyes. “And,” he finally went on, “believe it or not, I have been caned before. Not by the fraternity,” he added quickly as shock replaced the accusing expressions on Danny and Kevin’s faces.

“When did you get caned?” Kevin demanded, unable to help his curiosity.

“It was a long time ago, Bro,” Matt replied.

“But when?” Kevin persisted.

“And why?” Danny piped up at last; he too was intrigued and couldn’t help asking.

“I’m not sure I really want to talk about it right now, guys,” Matt replied gently. “Maybe some other time.”

“Fine!” Danny retorted. “Whatever! Don’t know why we should have expected any different!” He reached down to the floor beside the bed where his boxers had fallen, and picking them up, he raised himself to sit gingerly on the side of the bed, gritting his teeth as he bent slowly to pull his underwear on.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Matt replied just a little edgily as Danny got stiffly to his feet and pulled his shorts all the way up.

“Nothing,” Danny replied bitterly, turning to face his oldest brother with eyes that were once again accusing. “Just forget it!”

“I don’t want to forget it, Dan. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

Danny bit his lip and tears welled in his eyes once more as he evaded Matt’s steady, empathetic gaze. “It’s just . . .,” his voice cracked.

“Just what?” Matt prompted softly.

“You never let your guard down, Matt!” Danny accused finally looking back at him. “Never! Not for anything. Not even now! It would just be nice to know sometimes that you are not always so . . . so . . . . .”

“So what?” Matt urged once more.

“So perfect!” Danny choked. “It would just be nice to know that there were times in your life that you weren’t so fucking perfect!” Danny swiped at his cheeks and Matt hung his head, stunned. He was too stunned to even correct Danny’s language. The idea that the kid idolized him to such an extent was startling and a little disconcerting. ‘Perfect? Him? If the kid only knew . . . .’

“I’m not perfect, Danny,” he started at last, looking up again, only to find that Danny was halfway to the Correction Room door. “Where do you think you’re going?” he inquired gently, getting to his feet.

“To see Ryan,” Danny answered huskily.

“I’m not sure that’s such a great idea, right now, Bro,” Matt replied quietly, moving in front of the door.

“I don’t care what you think!” Danny returned, trying to reach around his older brother to the doorknob. “I want to see him!”

“I said no,” Matt responded not unkindly.

“Matt, please!” Danny sobbed in exasperation. “I just want to make sure he’s ok!”

“He’s ok, Dan,” Matt soothed.

“Oh yeah!?” Danny shoved at him. “Why should I believe you?? You’re the one who did it to him, aren’t you!? He sounded like he was dying in there, Matt! The whole fucking house probably heard him! How could you do that to him, Man? How could you do that?” Danny pushed once more to get by him, but Matt would not allow it. Danny was no match for Matt’s strength under any circumstances, and now it would have taken nothing for Matt to force him back once and for all from the door. Matt, however, could see the excruciating pain his little brother was in, and he was worried about the kid’s state of mind. Danny was in no shape to endure the shoving match he was now trying to instigate, and Matt knew his little brother wanted nothing more than for him to respond; he would not give him the excuse to lash out that he was looking for. “Matt, Please!” Danny pleaded as Matt placed his hand over the doorknob. “I just want to see him!”

“Calm down, Dan,” Matt instructed as Danny continued to push at him, but his words went unheeded and a moment later his little brother was trying to pry his fingers from the doorknob. “Dan, I said stop!” Matt repeated more firmly.

“Let me see him! I want to see him!” Danny was working himself into a frenzy now and finally Matt took him by the shoulders.

“Look at me,” he commanded. It was a moment before the words registered but finally Danny did as he was asked. “You need to calm down, stop and think about what you are doing,” Matt instructed as he looked with concern into Danny’s weepy eyes. “You are not helping Ryan or yourself right now.”

“But why can’t I see him?” Danny protested.

“First of all, he’s asleep,” Matt replied, “and that really is the best thing for him. There is nothing you can do right now. It’s better if he just gets some rest . . . .”

“I know but I won’t wake him! I promise! I just want to see that he’s ok . . . .”

“Second,” Matt cut Danny off. “Steve and Ryan need some time to themselves right now . . . .”

“Please! Matt! Please! I need to see him! I need to! The way he was screaming! Please, please!” Danny was beginning to panic again and finally Matt just folded him in his arms, holding him close as he collapsed against him. For several long minutes Danny clung and Matt held him, thinking hard about what to do, now. ‘What would be best for everyone?’ he wondered. He glanced at the bed where Kevin was still gripping the pillows, his disconcerted eyes now on Danny. ‘What was going through the kid’s mind?’ It would be good to have another chance to connect with him and that would be easier to do if Danny was not around. Also, there was no question that Steve was worried about their two youngest brothers. It might be good for his partner to have some time to fuss over Danny. It would distract him perhaps a little from Ryan’s predicament. Danny was calming down some, now, and finally Matt made up his mind.

He tightened his arm around his little brother’s shoulders, and Danny, still snuggled against his chest looked up hopefully to meet his big brother’s earnest expression. “You promise me, you won’t wake him?” he asked quietly. Danny brushed at his tears and nodded. “And you also promise me you will not give Steve a hard time?”

“I won’t,” Danny shook his head.

“Tell me again who was responsible for this mess you and Ryan ended up in.”

“We were.”

“Did Steve have anything to do with it?”

“No,” Danny choked.

“Tell me why you got in trouble.”

“We acted impulsively, without thinking, and we broke the Code,” Danny sobbed. Matt squeezed his shoulder again.

“Do you understand why the consequences were so severe?” Danny nodded against his chest. “Tell me why, Bro,” Matt whispered.

“Because we were sposed to be setting an example,” the answer came out in another half muffled sob.

“What should you have done instead? And what can you do if Mcarthy continues to hassle you in the future?”

“Make sure not to hit him,” Danny replied and Matt couldn’t help smirking.

“And . . .,” he tried to prompt while doing his best to keep a straight face.

“And if he is really getting on our case, we need to let Steve know.”

“Who will always, always be here for you?” Matt whispered affectionately, dropping his chin to the top of his little brother’s head.

“Steve,” Danny choked.

“And who else?”

“You,” Danny returned, clinging closer.

“That’s right, Bro. You can come to us with anything, ok? Don’t let that guy or anybody else work you over. If he is gettin’ down and dirty like he did that day in the common room, you just bring it to us and let us handle it. He’s not worth your spit, all right? Capiche?” Danny nodded again and Matt hugged him close for another moment. “All right, Bud,” he whispered finally, and moving away from the door he opened it. “Go on, then, and tell Steve I’ll be back in a bit.”

For a moment Danny didn’t move. He just looked at his oldest brother incredulously. ‘Could it really be true? Had he really persuaded Matt to see his point of view?’ Danny couldn’t remember the last time that had happened.

“Go on,” Matt prompted his little brother once more, “before I change my mind.”

Danny needed no further urging, but he hadn’t gotten very far before Matt called him back. “Come here, Bro,” he beckoned with his arm. “Come here for just one more minute.” Danny hesitated, looking wistfully at the black curtain that stood between him and his brothers. He’d known it was too good to be true. He wasn’t going to get to see Ryan after all. He looked back at Matt, and his brother stretched out his arm, “Come here, Bud.” Danny sighed and then, with one last longing look towards the curtain, he made his way back to Matt.

“Look at me, Dan,” Matt coached as he put his arm around his little brother and drew him close to his side once more. Danny obeyed and Matt looked seriously into the brimming brown eyes. “Mark my words, Little Bro,” Matt lowered his voice, intending that only Danny should hear him. “As sore as you are right now, if I come back here to find that you have stressed Steve out in the least little way, I will not hesitate to turn you over my knee. Do you understand?” Danny’s face flushed and his eyes shifted towards the door. “Dan,” Matt prompted, and automatically Danny looked back at him. He was crimson now. “I asked if we had an understanding,” Matt repeated. Danny nodded, but he turned (if it was possible) still a deeper shade of red and his eyes shifted once more to the door. Matt followed his gaze and bit his lip to see his youngest brother standing in the doorway, a look of amazement on his face. He held Danny closer to his side, squeezing his shoulder once more. “All right, then Bro,” he whispered, keeping his eyes on Kevin. “Go on.” Glad now for the excuse to get away as well as eager to see his big brother, Danny turned once more for the curtained doorway.

******************************************************************************

Steve looked up as the slight movement of the curtain caught his attention and a wave of emotion washed over him. “Hey, Bro,” he greeted quietly. Danny was standing just inside the doorway, his back against the wall. His face was drawn and pale, and his eyes were fixed on Ryan’s unmoving form. “Come here,” Steve invited huskily. Danny’s eyes filled with tears as he shifted them just slightly to meet those of his older brother. “It’s ok,” Steve encouraged softly, reading the unspoken question.

No further urging was required and the next moment found Danny on his knees beside his brothers, his face buried in the only available portion of Steve’s chest. “Hey Bro, Hey . . . .” Steve brought his free hand up to lay it gently on the back of Danny’s head. “It’s ok . . .,” he started again hesitantly as his little brother really started to cry. He was feeling a bit taken aback. Ryan had always been openly affectionate with him, but his relationship with Danny hadn’t come as easily. Danny was more intense, more passionate about everything. His temper, under normal circumstances, was more likely to heat up and he was less forgiving than Ryan was; he did not appreciate having his shortcomings pointed out to him. This was the first time Steve could ever remember that Danny had actively sought his comfort. “You’re ok . . .,” he murmured again now. “It’s over.”

“What about Ryan?” Danny sobbed.

“He’s ok, Bro,” Steve assured softly. “You can see for yourself.”

“He’s all covered up,” Danny protested in a muffled whisper as he suddenly remembered the warning Matt had given him. “It must have been bad if you can’t even put the blanket down on him all the way . . . .” Tears welled in Steve’s eyes at this assertion and he bit his lip to try and keep them back. He was unable to answer right away and his silence prompted Danny to look up into his now glistening eyes. “It was bad, wasn’t it?” he choked again. Steve still seemed unable to speak and Danny hid his face again as tears started to streak his older brother’s cheeks. Steve’s fingers trailed through his younger brother’s hair and Danny clung to him. That silent comfort was all that Steve was capable of giving at the moment as he tried desperately to keep his own emotions in check.

“Why’d you have to be so hard on him?” Danny sobbed, forgetting Matt’s warning once more and really letting loose. “Why? It was my fault! If I wasn’t such a stupid asshole none of this would have happened! He was protecting me! It’s my fault! It’s all my fault . . . .” A gentle hand on his shoulder at that point stopped the self-deprecating rant he was on, but as much as that touch meant to him, and as much as he longed for the reassurance and forgiveness he knew he would find in the blue eyes that awaited him, he could not make himself look up; he was too ashamed. For a few more minutes both his brothers offered him what quiet comfort they could until finally Danny grew a little calmer.

“Hey Bro, look at me,” the tired but steady voice urged at last. Danny clutched Steve’s shirt tighter, balling his fists and refusing still to look up. “Danny, look at me please . . . .”

“No!” Danny sobbed. “God! Go back to sleep! Matt’s going to kill me!”

Ryan and Steve traded puzzled looks and Steve questioned softly, “Why, Dan? Why would you think that Matt’s going to kill you?”

“Because!” Danny sobbed. “He only asked me not to do two things before he let me come in here and I’ve done them both in the first five minutes.”

“What is it you’ve done, Bro?” Ryan inquired in the same soothing tone Steve had used.

“Woke you up and stressed out, Steve! It’s not funny!” he cried as he finally turned his head to find Ryan battling the smirk which had become so familiar to him. “He was VERY clear about what I was and was not to do if you know what I mean . . . .”

“He threatened to spank you?” Steve inquired incredulously. He did not find the idea quite as humorous as Ryan seemed to. He loved his partner and relied on him implicitly, but there were times when his over-protectiveness pricked and this was definitely one of them.

Danny nodded miserably, brushing at his eyes and Ryan squeezed his shoulder as empathy and concern pushed aside the little bit of humor he had found in the situation. “Well, I’ll vouch for you, kid,” he promised. “I wasn’t really asleep. I’ve been dozing in and out for a while now, and you can’t wake me if I’m not asleep to begin with, can you?”

“And you didn’t stress me out, Danny,” Steve added, unable to keep the irritation from his voice. “No more so than I already was, anyway, and no more than any of us were. I’ll talk to him . . . .”

“Kevin heard him . . . .” Danny choked, moving on to his next concern now that the first one seemed to have been handled.

“Kevin heard Matt threaten you?” Ryan cried unable now to contain the note of delight that slipped into his tone. Danny turned once more to look at him and the indignant expression on his little brother’s face forced Ryan to burrow further into Steve’s chest as his shoulders shook with silent laughter.

“Shut up, Man!” Danny gave him a little shove. “It’s not funny! It’s fucking embarrassing!”

“There goes the ‘Only Once’ fantasy he’s been carrying around . . . .” was the only response Ryan could manage.

“What?! What are you talking about?” Danny demanded.

“Well, I mean come on, Danny,” Steve started. He too was battling now to keep a straight face as Danny turned his indignant glare on him. It was just so good to hear Ryan laugh, and it was kind of funny, after all. “You don’t really imagine you’re the only one to be compromised by this, do you? And maybe it is for the best.”

“What do you mean?” Danny demanded again in frustration.

“Well don’t you think Kevin probably asked Matt about it?”

“Yeah, probably! So?? That’s why it’s so embarrassing!” Danny swiped at his eyes again.

“Well, don’t be embarrassed, Bud,” Steve couldn’t help the little laugh that escaped. “I’m sure that Ryan’s cover was blown seconds after yours was.”

“Really, you think so?” That idea, which had honestly never occurred to him, was at least a little comforting.

“I can guarantee it, Bro!” Steve assured affectionately, combing his fingers through Danny’s hair once more as his little brother snuggled against him to think about it.

“Me too,” Ryan sighed a little as his laughter finally slowed. “The way that kid asks questions,” he finally did redden just a little, “I’m sure he knows it all by now.”

“About Steve too?” Danny queried in a tone of disbelief. “Do you think Matt told him about . . . about . . . well about you guys?” he turned wide eyes on his oldest brother once more.

Matt and Ryan both hesitated to answer that one; they themselves were not sure. “I don’t know,” Steve responded finally, looking fondly into the deep brown eyes that were now gazing curiously up at him. “Could be . . . .” ‘But I doubt it,’ he finished the thought in his head and all of a sudden he was glad for those over-protective feelings of his partner’s that he had been seething about a few minutes ago.

“Naw, I don’t think so,” Ryan voiced his skepticism out loud. “Matt never talks about that to anybody. Hell, we found out by accident. I don’t think he’s ever going to volunteer that information to Kevin.”

“Well, whatever he’s told him,” Steve continued seriously, “you can be sure of one thing, and that’s that Kevin would not have been allowed to dwell for more than a couple of seconds on anybody else’s misery before Matt handily brought him round to his more personal concern in the matter, and as Ryan was implying, stripped him of that ‘only once’ theory that I probably should never have put in his head to begin with,” Steve finished wistfully. “I just wasn’t thinking about what Matt might have to say about that and I also had no idea Kevin would take me so literally.”

Ryan and Danny remained quiet and Steve too became pensive as his little brothers snuggled closer. The emotions of the day had exhausted them all. ‘What WAS Matt saying to Kevin?’ Steve wondered as they all fell away into their own trains of thought, ‘and how would Kevin react to whatever was being said?’

******************************************************************************

Kevin continued to gape at Matt for a moment after his big brother had disappeared, and then he too headed for the back of the room. “Hold up, Bro,” Matt took hold of his arm and hauled him back. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“With Danny,” Kevin responded in a genuinely bewildered tone.

“Oh, no,” Matt countered, keeping hold of his arm and hustling him out of the room. “I don’t think so. You and I have other things to do.”

“But I want to see Ryan, too,” Kevin protested, pulling to get away as Matt closed the door behind them.

“You can see him later.”

“I want to see him now!”

“I said ‘no,’ Kevin,” Matt remained firm, pushing his youngest brother back as he attempted once more to open the door. “Let’s give those guys some time to themselves.”

“Matt, please!” Matt raised his eyebrows and as Kevin saw that this was a battle he was not going to win his pleading expression turned to a glower. “It’s not fair!” he stamped his foot, and Matt narrowed his eyes.

“Be that as it may,” Matt responded calmly. “I have made up my mind.”

Kevin folded his arms across his chest and glared obstinately at his brother. “Did you just tell Danny you would spank him, if he stressed Steve out?” he questioned bitterly. Matt was unprepared for such a direct question and he hesitated, but only for a moment.

“Yes,” he answered evenly, and now it was Kevin’s turn to be surprised at the straightforward admission.

“Have you spanked him before?” he asked tentatively. A mixture of intrigue and timidity had now replaced the recalcitrant tone in his voice.

“Yes,” Matt replied again. The blood drained from Kevin’s face, and he swallowed.

“What about Ryan?” he questioned tremulously.

“Yes, Kevin,” Matt answered in a matter of fact tone. “Both of your big brothers have taken the occasional trip over my knee.” Kevin looked absolutely dumbfounded as he tried to process this information and the dismayed expression on his face caused Matt to melt. “The only reason I am sharing this information with you at all, Bud,” he explained quietly, “is because now you are my younger brother too and it is only fair that you have some warning about how I deal with things.”

“But Steve said . . . .,” Kevin began. “I mean I thought . . . .Steve . . . .”

“Steve what?” Matt encouraged softly.

“Steve said it would only happen once!” Kevin blurted finally, tears welling in his eyes. “He promised! He said it would only happen once!”

Matt sighed as he looked at his little brother’s shocked, pasty face, and taking him once more by the arm, he guided him over to the bed and pulled him down beside him. “Why did Steve say that, if it wasn’t true?” Kevin demanded. “He promised!”

“I don’t think he promised, Kid, did he?”

“Well, he said it wasn’t supposed to happen more than once!” Kevin returned resentfully. They were picking at straws here as far as he was concerned. ‘Promised,’ ‘Said,’ what was the difference, anyway?

“Well, any formal punishment including The Summons, for you guys, IS ‘supposed’ to happen only once,” Matt returned quietly. “Danny and Ryan backed Steve into a really tight corner by going after Mcarthy. I can’t remember the last time a president had to actually summon his brothers. I’m sure it’s probably happened before, but I certainly could not tell you when. Danny and Ryan have earned themselves quite the little spot in the fraternity history books that way.” Kevin’s face crumpled and he covered it with his hands as Matt put his arm around him. “Don’t you go beating yourself up again, Bro,” he comforted. “Those two rascals did it to themselves. That’s just how they are,” he whispered affectionately, “impetuous as they are loveable.”

“But if it really is only supposed to happen once, how come you just told Danny you’d spank him?” Kevin sobbed.

“Well, Bud,” Matt drew him closer and Kevin snuggled against him. “That’s a little bit of a different thing. Some of us are bigger proponents of corporal punishment than others, and we all, in the course of our presidencies, have found different things that worked for us. In the end it is not so much a rule that the president’s brothers can’t be summoned as it is, of course, that none of us want to do it, so we find ways to improvise and get around having to. For some of us, that includes the use of spanking as punishment. We keep that information to ourselves of course; only our little brothers know unless they for some reason choose to share it, and we save such consequences for only serious things, things that for other fraternity members would probably involve a summons. Now,” he couldn’t help the exasperated little laugh that escaped with his next words. “Steve is NOT a big proponent of corporal punishment. He has never used it on Danny or Ryan until today, and I would be surprised if he ever used it on you now that The Meeting is over, but you should know it’s out there. And,” he cautioned a little ironically, “I wouldn’t test him on it because I may be wrong and even if I’m not, if I ever hear of you giving him trouble, I will toast your behind the very next chance I get. Understand?”

Kevin’s only answer was a half-hearted shrug, and Matt did not force the issue. He just tightened his arm and held his youngest brother closer. It had been a tough month for Kevin. There was no question about that. He had a lot of new information to sort through and process. Being called to account for his own behavior had been just the beginning.

That first meeting, the reading of The Code, the unveiling of the fraternity paddle and its immediate use was a shocking process for all the freshmen of course; it was meant to be. It was a “scare ‘em straight” tactic, so to speak, and it was extremely effective. The fall was always hardest, though, for the youngest brother of the president, and it had been especially hard for Kevin.

It had been many years since the fraternity had seen a freshman with as much talent as Kevin Kramer possessed. He was what was known in the football world as a “true freshman.” Even Danny, who had an impressive amount of talent himself, could not match Kevin’s speed or innate ability to find and create holes in the opposing defense. Kevin, after making the starting team as a freshman (which in itself was practically unheard of) had become an instant success, and he had benefited richly because of it. Now, he was reaping the consequences of too much too soon, and Matt’s heart ached for his little brother.

Kevin was a good kid. He was a rascal for sure ‘like his big brothers,’ Matt smirked, but, also like them, he never meant to hurt anyone, and he worshiped the ground they walked on. To have his own punishment followed so closely by the rare and serious consequences Ryan and Danny had been required to face was traumatic enough. The fact that he felt responsible for the incident that had made those consequences necessary was devastating. Now, to top things off, he had to face the cold probability that spankings, even after today, would be a part of his next four years at South Bend, that even if The Summons was a thing of the past, hopefully, he and his brothers were not immune from corporal punishment.

“Only once,” was a delusion raised accidentally by Steve’s soft heart and eagerness to reassure. In fact, Matt thought with grim irony, he could just about guarantee, with Kevin’s passionate, boisterous personality, over-eagerness and obstinacy, “only once,” was more than a little unlikely.

The clink of something metal hitting the floor distracted Matt from his musings. “Is that your key, Bud?” he inquired softly, stretching down to pick up the wayward item.

Kevin shook his head. “It’s Danny’s,” he sobbed. His fingers curled around the key as Matt handed it to him. “He gave it to me at the meeting. He’s been staying with Ryan so I could have his room. I was going to give it back to him, but I never got a chance.”

For a moment Matt was quiet. “Well, Bud,” he began quietly at last. “I think it will mean a lot to Danny that you wanted to do that for him, and since you have not been able yet to give him his key, I have an even better idea.” That got Kevin’s attention and he looked up inquiringly, brushing in frustration at the tears that persisted in streaking his cheeks. “You remember how Ryan and Danny set you up after the meeting?”

Kevin nodded. Not only had Danny given up his room, but his brothers had provided him with every possible comfort from clean sheets, fluffed pillows and icepacks, to his favorite movies, and magazines, to a fully stocked mini-fridge (everything but beer). He smirked at the thought and his throat tightened. How ungrateful he had been. He’d been SOOO pissed then, but now he saw how they were only looking out for him in every respect they could. A wave of regret washed over him and he buried his face again in Matt’s chest. Matt squeezed his shoulder.

“This is your chance to pay them back, Bro,” he whispered soothingly as he correctly guessed what his youngest brother was feeling. Kevin was quiet and he pressed his face further into Matt’s sweater, but the thought that he could do something to ease the suffering of his two brothers was comforting and finally his tears began to slow. “What do you say?” Matt probed once more. “Shall we go see what we can do to make those two rascals more comfortable tonight?”

“How are we going to get into Ryan’s room?” Kevin choked, looking quizzically up into his older brother’s now twinkling eyes. “I only have the key to Danny’s.”

“I have my ways,” Matt replied, getting to his feet and looking down at Kevin with the trace of an expectant smile. “Shall we?”

“Ok,” Kevin shrugged, getting to his feet too. Sure, why not? He’d go along with it; he was definitely intrigued now. He brushed one final time at his cheeks as he headed for the door. Matt followed and quietly opening the top drawer of Steve’s desk on the way by, he removed the large ring of keys that was lying there, and slipped it into his pocket. Kevin turned to wait for him as he closed the drawer.

“I’m coming,” he assured softly, seeing the hesitant look on his younger brother’s face.

The common room was not as full as it had been. Some fortunate souls had, by this time, retreated to their rooms. Still, it was full enough to give Matt an accurate sense of what Ryan and Danny had faced when they came in. His anger flared, along with his protective feelings for his brothers, and he pulled the bedroom door shut with an indignant little bang behind him as he stepped out into the hallway behind Kevin.

“Freeze!” Matt commanded as some of the loitering freshmen and sophomores below scrambled instinctively for the exit. There were not many juniors and seniors left in the room but those who did remain, knew it would do no good to run. Besides, it was beneath their dignity. “I see you! Hickman, Cartwright, Bollinger, Nicholson, get back here! All of you! Stop right there! No one is going anywhere! I have something to say!” The four students who had been called out by name stopped in their tracks and eyed one another anxiously before slowly turning back to resume their seats. Elsewhere in the room sounds of restless paper shifting and the nervous shuffling of feet ensued. Matt turned to Kevin then. “Go wash up,” he prompted his younger brother gently in a low voice. Kevin paled at the stormy look on Matt’s face though he knew it was not directed at him, and without a word he headed off down the hall towards the nearest bathroom.

Slowly, Matt approached the railing and stared down into the room of apprehensive students below. Some of them picked up pens and opened books, avoiding Matt’s eyes in an unwise pretense of study. “Close those damn books and look up here!” Matt snapped disgustedly. “You don’t think I know what you’re doing? You think Steve doesn’t know?” Another round of nervous glances was exchanged. “Worried now, aren’t you?” Matt continued smugly. “You’re all worried about who I recognize, what I’m going to do, whose names are going to get passed on to Steve. Well let me assure you; I know most of you, and what few blanks there may be, I’m sure Mike and Kurt will be pleased to fill in. Maybe we’ll just post a big chart in the common room displaying the date and time of each Summons we intend to issue. What do you think?” Deep silence greeted the threat. Sarcasm was unusual for Matt and there were those below who clearly thought he was serious. “Don’t like that idea, do you?” Matt demanded. All remained quiet once more. “Well, we’ll think about it. Right now, I’m so sick, I honestly don’t know what would be the most appropriate thing to do, but there will be consequences for each of you. You can depend on that! And while Steve and I are thinking about it, I honestly hope that whatever shred of decency you all have left will lead you to think about it too. I hope you’ll think about what it means to be in a fraternity, and how Danny and Ryan must have felt coming in here to see you all assembled like you were, waiting for them. People they consider their friends, their confidants, their brothers just waiting to capitalize on their feelings of shame and misery. You all know my younger brothers well. You know what forgiving hearts they have. It is unlikely that they will hold a grudge, but I promise you I will not forget this. You will be hearing from me again once I’ve had a chance to confer with Steve. For now, I would like you all to pack up your books and papers and clear out. I don’t care where you go, or what you do. Just get! The next time I walk past this common room, I expect to find it empty. Anyone still sitting here when I come back can count on being summoned first thing tomorrow morning. Go on, now! Beat it! All of you!”

No second invitation was needed and as the students below scurried for the door, Matt turned back to his youngest brother who had returned now from the bathroom and was shrinking against the wall behind him. “It’s all right, Bud,” he soothed in reaction to Kevin’s anxious expression. “You ready?” He held out his arm, and though Kevin hesitated, it was only for a moment. He WAS ready. He was ready for this to be over; he was ready to move on. As he felt his older brother’s comforting hand settle on his shoulder, he felt sure that what Matt had said was true. Everything WOULD be ok, and yet, he was having trouble making sense of his feelings right now. He snuck a sideways glance at the big guy walking beside and just slightly behind him as they started down the hallway. He was glad Matt was his brother, but he was intimidated too. He thought about the scolding he had just witnessed and swallowed hard. He was glad not to have been on the receiving end. He bit his lip. ‘What kinds of things had Danny and Ryan been spanked for? What would make Matt spank him?’ If possible, he hoped he would never have to find out. ‘At least not THAT way,’ he felt his cheeks getting warm. Maybe Ryan and Danny would tell him, if he asked right, about the times Matt had disciplined them. He couldn’t help wanting to know what they had done. Danny would tell him, he was sure. ‘I’m just never going to give him a reason to do it to me,’ Kevin thought. ‘I’m not going to give him a reason ever!’

His resolve was sincere. He’d had enough discipline, enough stress and anxiety. He’d learned his lesson, he was sure. From here on in things would be different. They were going to pick up the pieces and move on. They would set the example as Matt and Steve had urged them all to do. Kevin strode on in front of his big brother, feeling better and more confident with each step.

He was young, after all, young, resilient, and naïve. He had no way of knowing just how often Ryan and Danny had made that exact same resolution, and he was as yet unfamiliar with that great proverb that fueled Steinbeck’s famous short story. Ah yes indeed, The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men . . . .

Matt was familiar with the proverb, all too familiar, and he smiled affectionately to himself as Kevin’s changing visage revealed his conflicted emotions. He squeezed his youngest brother’s shoulder as they stopped in front of Danny’s door and as Kevin looked up at him, his heart warmed once more. Kevin had a lot to learn still, but he would make a good president. Matt liked what he saw in the kid’s eyes: the kindness, the compassion, the readiness to question, and most especially the determination and resolve to do the right thing. ‘Too bad resolutions aren’t as easy to keep as they are to make,’ he thought grimly as Kevin turned his attention to the task of opening the door, and truer words have never been thought.

What would the plans of Mice and Men bring in the future to the boys of Phi Beta Capa?

But och! I backward cast my e'e 45
 
On prospects drear!
 
An' forward, tho' I canna see,
 
I guess an' fear!

-Lines taken from Robert Burns “To a Mouse” (From which our now familiar proverb regarding the “best laid plans of mice and men . . . .” first arose.