the questionable establishment

2000.11.29

Every now and then, a pause is required for breath. The life of men is so often a vacuum of cycles, cirumstances beyond any and all control, and all that's left is to make some sort of effort, or the only option left is death. Some people don't have the courage for death. Others have the courage to leave death to someone else, or Fate, or whatever it is that they believe in. But some sort of pause in the trials of living is required. People can "go crazy," or write, or find some distraction that they can actually control, during this pause. Change is necessary to existance, or existance becomes a futile thought in the mind of one without imagination. So where does the pause come in? Perhaps someone can feel the need for that pause, but that one cannot see any way of release. Afraid for her own mortality, she may retreat into herself for thought, disgusted with the world and its ways. Nothing is left for "I," no determination is left, and the Will becomes a silent observer. Self dissolves into a haze. Emotion takes over [not as another body, but as a part of the whole]. Beliefs become null and void, thoughts multiply into a chaos of confusion. Substance and routine form a meager life that is simply waded through, and not lived. And what is life, if it is not lived? Form and function and everything that is, in the long run, truly superfluous.