So I Need You
AUTHOR'S NOTE :Congrats to Tony on that win at the Glen (hehe...I rhymed! *lol*) And here's to chipperjonesgurl! I haven't posted a NASCAR one in a while...she'll probably hate me for writing this, but this is for you anyway! *lol* Thanks for being a great friend! ;) And from the rest of us die-hard Tony fans out there...we aren't movin, Tony! We love you!! *REALLY!* ;)*eg*
-Rayvin-
SETTING : 2003 season (Based on the 2002 schedule)
DISCLAIMER : I do not own Steve Park, Mikey Waltrip, DW, Kevin "Smiley" Harvick or his wife DeLana, Dale Earnhardt, Sr. (God rest his soul), Shawna Robinson, "Zippy", or Bobby Labonte. I also do not own Tony Stewart, Jeff Gordon, or Dale Jr...but if I did...nevermind. I won't get into that. *eg* Another thing I don't own is Pepsi. And yet another not belonging to me : the song. If it did, I wouldn't be poor. I'd be rich and writing all of 3 Doors Down's material...BUT, I'm not...So... Anywho, I only own Rayvin...*duh*...and the spotter, Terry Macaulay.
...
If you could step into my head
Tell me would you still know me?
And if you woke up in my bed,
Tell me then, would you hold me?
...
Tony Stewart glanced up at the picture of his girlfriend on his bedside table, her curly golden hair, and hazel eyes shining and sent a prayer up to the heavens above.
'Please, Lord. Don't let her die. I need her too much...Let Rayvin know I love her with all my heart and soul. I know I haven't been the best Christian in the world lately, and if this is what I get for my trespasses, I know I deserve it. But not my Rayvin. She doesn't in the least deserve to die. If anyone should die, let it be me. She's far too good of a spirit to be lying in that hospital bed in Charlotte, trying to recover from that wreck...she didn't deserve it...and she doesn't deserve to get to meet You yet.
'Please, Lord. Hear my prayer. I beg of you. I SWEAR that if you get her out of this, I'll never hit another reporter again, I SWEAR! Amen.'
Tony nodded and closed his eyes as the tears welled up once again and let himself drift off into an anguished sleep...
...
Or would you simply let it lie?
Leaving me to wonder why
I can't get you out of this
Head that I call mine
...
"Rayvin."
I turned, and there was Dale Earnhardt, Sr.
"No WAY!" My disappointed face turned up into a grin.
The eldest of the Earnhardt racers laughed. "Yes, way. Here I am. And it sounds like you've got yourself into a bit of a mess here, Kid..."
"Humph...Tell me about it," I muttered. "Where the hell am I?"
"ACH! Watch that language up here! The big man doesn't like it so much..."
"Huh?" I was confused. I looked all around us, and upon finding no one else near me, I turned back to Dale Senior. "Dale, there's no one here but you and me..."
"Oh, no. You've got that ALL wrong. There's three of us in here a'ight. Me, you, and the Big Man..." He wagged his thumb somewhere behind him and I had to choke back a laugh.
"I don't see anyone, Dale..."
"That's 'cause it ain't your time yet. You'll see Him when it's time." Dale gave a genuine smile, and it was so contagious that I had to smile back.
"Okay..." I proceeded cautiously. "So...you gonna tell me where I am, or am I gonna have to figure it out for myself?"
He laughed again. "No, Kid, I'll tell you where you are."
I nodded, preparing myself for anything. I knew it must be something really drastic - or just a REALLY hazy hallucination - if I was seeing the year-ago deceased Dale Earnhardt, Sr...
"You're in Heaven."
I laughed...before promptly fainting into the arms of the NASCAR legend himself.
...
And I will say
Oh no I can't let you go
My little girl
Because you're holding up my world
So I need you...
...
Tony awoke the next morning with even darker circles under his eyes. He hadn't slept well for the past two weeks, since the day that Rayvin had made her Winston Cup debut. She had been leading the race - A first for women in the sport. She was DEFINITELY far more aggressive than Shawna Robinson, which was why she'd advanced from ARCA to BUSCH, and finally coming up to race in the Winston Cup Series in only her three years of racing on any sort of level. Before then, she hardly knew how to handle a manual transmission. Now, she was handling it like it was second nature to her.
Well, not now...
Tony took a steadying breath before getting out of bed and choosing his clothes for the day : A pair of jeans and a black Home Depot T-Shirt. He moved on to the shower, trying hard not to cry as he gazed back at the silver-framed photo. When he saw her face, he saw the Wreck paralleled onto a plane before his eyes...just as he saw it from his car. At first, he thought it wasn't a big deal. He'd been in little scrapes before, and he thought Rayvin's was an, 'Oops, you're out of the race, better luck next time' kind of accident. But then he drove by again. Her window net wasn't down. Tony began to worry, but he didn't say anything; sometimes it takes a driver a while to get all of the safety gear unhooked. He calmed his nerves a bit with that little mantra in his head, and when her window net wasn't down the NEXT time he went by and the emergency crews were BARELY pulling up...he knew something was wrong. He remembered the conversation he and Greg Zippadelli, his crew chief, had had just like it was yesterday...
"ZIPPY! ZIPPY! COME IN!"
"Yeah, Tony?" Tony noticed his crew chief's voice was strained.
"What's wrong with Rayvin?! Why is she not out yet?!"
Silence on the radio.
"Zip?" Tony was trying to be calm, but inside, he was panicking. "Please talk to me...Please?"
"She unconscious, Tony. They think she's in a coma...she's alive, but barely. Finish the race and head out..."
"Hell no, Zippy, I'm outta here now." Tony peeled his car off the speedway the next time around under yellow, and sped down pit lane to the entrance to the garage.
"TONY! What the hell are you doin' man?!" Zippy's voice came over the radio, shocked and panicked at the same time. "What are you thinking?!"
"I'm thinking I'm gonna go and be by Rayvin's side. I love her, Zip. I can't lose her when I haven't even gotten up the stones to say that to her! I...I have to tell her, Zippy...she has to know...she deserves to hear it..." Tony choked back tears as he pulled the car into his team's garage. "Zippy, tell the guys to pack it up! I've got to get to Mercy...NOW!"
"All right, Tony. I'll leave the guys behind and I'll get you out there. Just be ready when I get there."
"I'll be in the motorcoach. Just Hurry, Zippy...Tony, out."
Tony peeled the headgear, radio, and restraints off of his head and leapt out of the car in record pace. He was the first one to the motorhome as the time ticked away the slowest it ever had for the driver of the number 20 car...
...
Your imitation of my walk
And the perfect way you talk
It's just a couple of the million things
That I love about you
So I need you, so I need you
So I need you, so I need you
...
When I came to, I was laying in the arms of Dale Earnhardt, Senior. I shook my head in disbelief.
"There you are. I's wondering when you'd pull out of it. You've been here too long already." he said with a smiling face.
"What do you mean, Dale? I've only been here a few hours right? No big deal..."
"Actually, time runs quite a bit slower up here. Back on Earth, you've been out of it for nearly a month, and that man of yours has stayed by your side every step of the way...well, except for last night. Last night, the docs made him go to a hotel."
I looked at the man as if he was insane and sat up.
"Whoa! What 'man'? You mean Tony?"
Dale nodded. "Indeed I do."
"Wait...Tony's not...I mean...we're not..." I couldn't quite grasp anything to say to deny our relationship. We'd been trying to keep our relationship a secret for the past, well, two months now...The only ones who knew about it were Dale Jr, Kevin Harvick, Mikey and Darrell Waltrip, and Steve Park. Bobby Labonte had been catching on recently, and if what Dale Sr. had said was true about Tony being by my side at all times...then I was guessing our secret was out to the rest of the NASCAR staff and racers.
Why did I think I'd be able to keep a secret from Heaven, of all places? Dale Sr laughed as if in response to my unasked question.
"Honey, he's been trying his damnedest to pull you out of here, and I think it's time to help him out a bit, don't you?"
"I...guess..."
"Rayvin, that's a 'yes' or 'no' question there..."
"Yeah, sure, yes..." I mumbled.
"Well, since you're probably going to ignore me and stay up here for another week, there's no sense in wasting that time. Let's get to work."
"Get to work? On what, exactly?" I raised an eyebrow as Dale laughed, snapped his fingers, and suddenly...we were at the track in Charlotte.
"Your racing skills. You have major potential...but you're still a bit rough around the edges..."
My mouth dropped open out of shock. "No way...You're gonna teach me to race?!"
Dale shook his head. "Hell no...I'm gonna teach you to kick ass!"
...
And if I jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge
Tell me, would you still follow me?
And if I made you mad today,
Tell me would you love me tomorrow? Please
...
Tony stepped out of the shower and dried himself off, still thinking of Rayvin. Truth was, he'd never STOPPED thinking about her; and all the What-if's in the situation:
What if she woke up when he wasn't there? Would she hate him? Would she still love him? Did she EVER love him the way he loved her?
What if she didn't remember him?
What if she didn't know who she was?
What if she'd never gotten into that wreck?
What if she got into the wreck, but had never gotten injured?
What if she'd finished in last place? Would she be with him right now? What was this week's race? He had no clue...
What if she woke up right now? He smiled at that thought. How he wished...
What if she never woke up? That one, Tony knew the answer to. He'd quit racing. Plain and simple, QUIT. He'd give up anything, and everything to be with Rayvin, alive, healthy...ACTIVE, teasing him to no end...
'What-if's get you nowhere, Stewart,' her voice ran through his head and he nodded.
"You're right, Rayvin. They just cause more pain and more unanswered questions..." Tony turned to his clothes and put them on silently before combing his hair and throwing on a baseball cap, grabbing up his sunglasses, and walking out the door to his hotel room. Visiting hours were about to begin, and Tony had promised both Rayvin and himself he'd be there the moment they started, up until the moment they were over...
He started up his black Pontiac Ram Air, and drove off toward Charlotte's Mercy hospital.
...
Or would you say that you don't care,
And then leave me standing here,
Like the fool
Who is drowning in despair and screaming?
...
"Wow!" I exclaimed as I jumped from the car Dale had put me in - an exact replica of my number thirteen Hendrick Racing Chevy Monte Carlo. My main sponsor was Pepsi, and the decal on the car at the time of my accident had been boasting the new Pepsi Blue soft drink, a sort of blue-raspberry flavored cola. The main color scheme on the car was blue on red - go figure - and I couldn't get enough of designing the layouts for special races. Pepsi and Rick Hendrick let me deal with that side of the car, the styles, while he and my teammate Jeff Gordon and Tony tried to teach me about the inner workings of the race car. I'd gotten so far as to diagnose an engine, tire, or transmission problem from inside the car...but other than that, I had to rely on my pit crew and my crew chief, a former crew chief of Mike Skinner, that I had stolen away from the FOX announcing team, Larry McReynolds. He was demanding, but an excellent crew chief nonetheless...
"Great ride, huh?" Dale stepped over the pit wall, a huge grin on his face. "Took care of that fairly quick, didn't ya?"
"Yeah. I guess I did." I grew silent as Dale scribbled a few things on a piece of paper he produced from his pocket. "How long have I been gone now? To the minute, Dale, please?"
Dale was silent as he finished with the piece of paper and then looked at his watch. "Ah...Three weeks, four days, twelve hours, and...twenty-two minutes. Tony should be up to see you any minute now. Visiting hours are right around the corner."
I grinned at the thought of Tony...I had to get back, and soon...
...
Oh no I can't let you go
My little girl
Because you're holding up my world
So I need you...
...
Before he knew it, Tony was bounding up the hospital steps hoping and praying to any God that would listen that Rayvin had woken up the night before. He had so much to tell her...and he had to do it face-to-face. It wasn't something he could tell her while she was...gone...he needed her to desperately wake up so he could tell her those three words that held every relationship together, and he was presently kicking himself for not having the guts to say it before.
As he boarded the elevator, he got a strange feeling...like Rayvin WAS going to make it. Something told him so, and it was telling him to hurry and get to her. Tony didn't argue with himself, he went along with that little voice for once in his life. Once the elevator stopped on the third floor, he peeled out, making a beeline for Rayvin's hospital room. When he got there, a nurse was just leaving.
"How is she?" Tony inquired impatiently, yearning to know how his girlfriend was doing, yet not wanting to hear if she wasn't awake yet.
"Good. Quite good, actually. She may pull out of it sometime soon. She actually smiled while I was in there...Congratulations, Mr. Stewart...your girl has officially fooled the doctors. They have no clue about her...and around here, that doesn't happen too often." The nurse gave a genuine smile and continued on her way to check the next patient's vitals.
'She SMILED!?' Tony was jumping for glee inside. 'Wonder what she was thinking about...'
...
Your imitation of my walk
And the perfect way you talk
It's just a couple of the million things
That I love about you
So I need you, so I need you
So I need you, so I need you
...
Dale handed me the scrap of paper.
"When you get home, give this to LarryMac. Tell him this is what you need to do to the car, these are my engine and aerodynamic modifications - they're not standard, but well within the rulings of NASCAR."
I accepted the paper gratefully and then looked around on my person for something to put it in. I finally shrugged and then tucked it inside my bra. Dale laughed for what had to be the millionth time that day.
"What? You see anywhere else you'd like me to put it?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips and faking and angry glare at him. He laughed again and then shook his head. "Dale? When can I go back?"
He seemed to consider my question seriously, all looks of amusement taking a leave of absence from his face. "You really want to go back?"
I was silent for no more than a second. "Yes! Of course! I...I love Tony. I want him to race, and I want to race. We need to race, Dale. Isn't the season half over by now? And what's today?"
"Thursday."
"Exactly. Qualilfying begins tomorrow...I need to be there..."
"WHOA! First of all, little girl - the docs aren't gonna clear you to go back racin' tomorrow, even if you did wake up today...think about it, you're gonna be coming out of a damn near month-long coma. You've got a head injury, a broken foot, and a badly sprained right wrist. You'll be lucky to get back this season at all!"
"Hello - they can give me a shot of Cortisone...I can do just like Mike Modano did for the Stars a couple years ago! And he had a broken hand! Ever try playing hockey with a broken hand?! Second - they can give me a wrist brace...no big deal..."
"But what about the head injury? It's not as severe as they thought originally, but it was enough to get you here!" Dale motioned around at his surroundings, and we were suddenly back in the hazy place when I had first 'woken up.' Except, it wasn't so hazy any more. The walls began to clear to reveal all sorts of Angels. My jaw dropped. I could see the golden gate, and a beaming light that hid itself quickly behind a temple-like structure. Clouds lined the ground, and little golden stepping stones were laid out on top of those clouds. A rumbling sounded nearby and Dale grinned sheepishly before raising the hazy walls once more. "Sorry 'bout that, Rayvin...the big man's gonna have my tail for that. Let's get back to the track before he tries to send one of the other guys out here..."
Dale snapped his fingers once more, and we were back a the track in Charlotte.
"Now...where were we?"
"You were gonna tell me how to get home...and when I can."
Dale nodded. "All right. You can get home at any time at all. You just have to want it bad enough."
"That's it?! That's simple..."
"But, there's a catch."
"Which is...?"
"You have to re-enact your crash. The only way to pull out of a coma, is to re-enact the scene that got you here in the first place..."
...
I'm on my own...
I'm on my own...
I'm on my own...
...
"TONY! Dude! Wake up!" Tony was shaken awake, and he looked up, ready to punch the perpetrator.
"Junior. Man...don't you do that to me..." Tony hung his head and rested it back on the hospital bed.
"Sorry, Tony." Dale Jr. held up his hands in surrender before sitting down next to the distraught driver. "How's Rayvin?"
Tony shrugged. "Good. Better. I guess." Tony hung his head in silence, not daring to look at the prone form lying on the hospital bed.
Junior gazed upon the emaciated form of the girl Tony Stewart loved so much and had to stifle a gasp. "Tony...dude...look..."
Tony raised his head to see the love of his life before him, still unconscious, a grin - not a smile - but an ear-to-ear grin on her pale face. "Oh my..."
"God..." Dale Junior finished for his friend.
...
Oh no I can't let you go
My little girl
Because you're holding up my world
So I need you...
...
"WHAT?! I have to do it again?" I laughed. "You must be kidding..."
Dale shook his head sadly. "'Fraid not, Kid. You gotta do this...if you want to go back..."
I contemplated for a moment. I had no parents, that was the reason I started racing...I started my hometown racing team the day after I got the news that my parents had died in a one-car roll over on the Interstate back home in Texas. I'd cried for hours, and then I realized that they weren't coming back. If I stayed, maybe I could be with them again, but if I did stay...No more Tony. No more racing. No more FUN...If I stayed in Heaven, existence as I knew it would cease to exist. With that one thought, I made up my mind.
"Let's do it..."
Dale grinned.
"On ONE condition, Earnhardt..."
"What's that, Rayvin?"
"Tell my parents...tell them I love them, and I miss them so much..."
"They miss you too, Rayvin. And I promise I'll tell them."
"Tell them...tell them my first Winston Cup victory is for them, promise them I'll see them again...a long time from now. Like when they're great-great grandparents..." I grinned, a tear skimming down my cheek.
"That's a deal, Kid. Now, you ready for this?" Dale poised his hand in midair to snap his fingers, and I nodded. "Then let's race..." Dale snapped his fingers as everything went black.
Everything came back gradually, I saw the steering wheel of the car first, then the gauges, then Tony's number 20 car behind me on the inside lane taking over third place from Jeff Gordon in the reflection of my rearview mirror. I felt the heat next. It must've been two hundred degrees in that car...it sure felt like it...
"Rayvin, you're doin' good." My spotter, Terry Macaulay, told me over the radio.
"Thanks, Ter...just keep an eye on my ass and tell me if anyone's coming."
"10-4, Rayvin...just keep bookin' babygirl!"
"Rayvin! You're sure one hell of a racer," Jeff Gordon's voice was the next to come over the radiowaves. "Keep goin' like you are, and you've got this one in the bag!"
"Thanks, Gordo!" I replied, taking over first from Rusty Wallace in the process. I led for two uneventful laps when suddenly, something went VERY wrong...
"RAYVIN! WATCH OUT!" Was the last thing I head as I watched - helplessly - while the white hood of the number 88 UPS car took my draft, ran right up under my rear bumper, and sped up, sending me slamming headfirst into the outside retaining wall at 180 miles per hour...
...
Your imitation of my walk
And the perfect way you talk
It's just a couple of the million things
That I love about you...
...
"Oh, Gods...Tony...she's..."
"Dale?" My voice came out a choked whisper as an echo ran through my head.
'You made it, Kid...way to go...Tell Junior I love him and I miss him. ...and kick some tail in the next race...'
I grinned. 'Thanks Dale...' I thought up to the Heavens before opening my eyes and shutting them just as quickly.
"Ouch..."
I heard Tony laugh and felt him grab my hand. I opened my eyes more cautiously to see his smiling face.
"Oh, honey..." I began, weakly and sarcastically, placing my free hand on his cheek. "You look like hell..." Tony laughed again.
"Rayvin..." Tony choked back his tears of joy as he leaned forward and laid a kiss on my forehead.
"Well, Kid, nice to see you still have your sense of humor..." I squinted at the figure now standing in the doorway.
"Steve-O? Steve Park? Is that you?" I grinned at the sight of Steve, Jeff Gordon, and Kevin and DeLana Harvick standing out in the hallway. Steve nodded. "You're a hot commodity, Kid...you'd better get well soon. Junior, let her rest, man. Let's go..." Steve winked at me before walking away from the doorway, and Jeff Gordon and Kevin Harvick lingered a moment longer to flash me two thumbs-up before following after their friend.
Dale Jr. stood up to follow when I caught his arm.
"Junior...I got a message for you..."
Dale looked at me sideways. "What message, Rayvin?"
"Your...your Dad says that he loves you, and that he misses you..." Dale's eyes misted over.
"You...you saw him?"
I nodded. "Gave me a crash course - excuse the pun - on his racing style too..."
Dale and Tony both laughed, the younger wiping his tears.
"Well, no wonder it took so long for you to get back to me..." Tony grinned.
"He was one hell of a guy, Junior. The best anyone could learn from...no offense, Love..." I glanced at Tony who simply nodded in return.
Junior nodded. "Thanks, Ray." Junior cleared his throat. "I've, uh...I've gotta run. You two have a lot to catch up on."
Dale left the two of us alone then, and Tony took my hands in his. "Rayvin - I've had a lot of time to myself these last three weeks...too much time, in fact, and I've been thinking about you nonstop. Rayvin I know you won't be racing anytime soon, and maybe they'll let you out of here tomorrow so you can come to qualifying...I hope they do, so..."
"Tony," I placed a finger over Tony's lips to silence him. "Shut up and kiss me."
...
Two Days Later
...
Tony was qualified at Darlington in third place...not so bad if I do say so myself, and I had just wrapped up a segment about my up-and-coming return to the sport with LarryMac - who had returned to the announcer's booth in my absence - along with Darrell Waltrip.
"Hey, Kid."
I turned and there was Zippy.
"Hey, Zip. What's up, Bro?" I nodded and walked in Zippy's direction.
"Nothing much. Good to see you up and around again though. It just wasn't the same without you...you know, Tony leaving us, forcing us to watch it on the TV and all..."
I laughed. "I know. I'm sorry, Zippy...Have you seen the Tiger anywhere? I need to talk to him..."
Zippy scaled the War Wagon and looked all around him. "Try the garage...oops...no the trailer. I think I see him headed towards the trailer..."
"Well, Zippy, I'll trust you on that, you always did have better eyesight than me..." I gave the man a hug before heading over to the Home Depot trailer.
"To-ny..." I sing-songed as I climbed the stairs and pulled open the door. "To-ny...you in here?"
"In the bathroom, Rayvin." I grinned.
"Gravy. When you get done, come talk to me. I need to tell you something..."
Tony finished in the bathroom in record timing. "You, uh...you wanted to talk?" I stood up to help Tony with his firesuit.
"Yeah, I...have to tell you something..."
Tony turned to face me. "What is it, Rayvin? Tell me."
I took a breath, trying to calm my nerves. "Tony - while I was in that coma, the thing that got me through it was you. You are the only thing I have going for me here...and the only thing I want going for me. If the doctors told me today that I had to quit racing, I would...but only if I got to keep you. I guess what I'm trying to say is...you're my whole life, Tiger...I...I love you..." I grinned as Tony's face went from worried, to surprised, to elated.
"You...you just said...and...I love you too, Rayvin!" He wrapped me up in hug, from which I promptly squeaked and earned a quick release.
"One thing, Dale didn't tell me about up there..." I glanced down. "Slightly bruised ribs." I laughed softly as Tony pulled me in to deliver a kiss. "Don't you ever leave me, Tiger...I need you too much."
"I'm not moving, Rayvin; I need you even more..." He grinned and kissed me once more before heading off to the track to begin driver introductions. I sighed to myself as he jogged happily out the door of the trailer...
'You know...this MIGHT just turn out all right after all...unlike the rest of my life...Thanks, Senior...wherever you are...'
I pulled the paper out of my pocket that Dale Sr. had given me, somehow it had made it through with me, and I glanced at it dumbfounded. I shrugged and ran off to find Larry MacReynolds, a grin on my face the whole way...
...
Meanwhile, up in Heaven...
...
"All for you, Rayvin...It's all you, Kid..." Dale Sr. spoke aloud to no one in particular as the green flag dropped and the field went racing at Darlington.
"Dale Earnhardt, Senior...please make your way to the Temple...God would like to have a word with you..." Dale laughed and shook his head as he moved away from the viewing area and began the trek to the Temple. It was going to be a LONG eternity...
...
So I need you, so I need you
So I need you, so I need you
baby yeah...
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