Title: "Holes Uncovered"

Author: CretKid aka Cal

Category: CJ/Toby

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Manchester

Summary: "I will dig a hole / save my pennies for a rainy day … I will build a wall / sensing trouble from a mile away … holes uncovered / walls will crumble / all spells trouble on a rainy day"

Disclaimer: Ain't mine. 'Nuf said.

Spoilers: Manchester

Author's Notes: Blame Greg. He asked for another. Follows immediately after "Pouring Rain". Thanks to my beta readers, you know who you are.

"Holes Uncovered"

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Toby hated to wake CJ when it was obvious that she had not slept properly in over a month, but sleeping in cars was not his favorite past time and he refused to leave her alone in the rental. He didn't care that the crime rate was next to nil. He had to get her out of the car. Though he drove under the speed limit the entire way to increase the time it would take to get to the hotel, 35 minutes barely constituted a snooze let alone real sleep.

He need not have worried. As soon as the car stopped its forward motion, she stirred in her seat, jolting her head forward. It surprised him she got any rest at all, being such a light sleeper.

"We're here?" she asked unnecessarily.

The parking lot was nearly empty. Most of the staff was still at the Bartlet family farm and the press were in another hotel just down the street. He didn't see Bruno or Connie's cars and with luck they had driven off a trestle bridge between the farm and the hotel.

Sometimes Toby wondered if they were the sole reason this town was still afloat. Only when they were in town did the shops, bars and restaurants stay open later than the posted hours. With the entourage of staff, press and assistants that traipsed through Manchester and the outlying districts during the political seasons, the population nearly doubled.

If they were campaigning in New Hampshire, they were in Manchester.

If they wanted to introduce a new bill that would benefit the self-made families, particularly dairy and crop farmers, they were in Manchester.

If the President wanted to spend time at his farm, a working weekend of sorts, they were in Manchester.

Natalie Powers, the woman that ran the bar below the hotel, had once remarked that the amount of business she did in the few days when they were in town nearly made up for the lack of business she had outside of tourist season.

"When you guys run for re-election," she had said when they packed up the campaign office to head to the White House, "make sure you set up camp here. I could retire on what I make off of you guys the next time around."

Toby unbuckled his seat belt as he reached into the back seat and retrieved his suit coat. He had his hand on the door release when he noticed that CJ had not moved. She sat motionless, staring at the marquee above the main door to their hotel.

"CJ?"

Her answer was barely audible. "I almost checked out this morning."

Toby let go of the door latch. It snicked loudly in the quiet car.

"I was trying to get myself into the right mindset."

Toby followed her gaze to the lighted marquee. With the car engine off, the blowers no longer stopped the march of fog across the windows. The light from the marquee and adjacent street lamps diffused in a blurred rainbow of color.

"I sat outside the hotel this morning for about an hour, arguing in my head." CJ closed her eyes. "Just add that final nail to the coffin, you know. No turning back."

"You still told him you were resigning." Toby looked everywhere but in her direction.

"Guess I really didn't need that incentive, did I?"

The air in the car was stuffy, heavier than it had been before. Toby refrained from turning the car on if only to give juice to the power windows. He picked at a stray piece of litter on the dashboard.

"Do you regret your decision?" he asked quietly, feigning fascination with the crumpled soda straw wrapper.

Leaning her forehead against the cool glass, CJ asked, "Which one? My offer to tender my resignation this morning or that I've basically rescinded the invitation by letting you tear up my letter?"

Toby wasn't sure he was ready for the answer and CJ didn't offer one. She opened her door and slowly got out of the car.

Following suit, Toby quickly stepped around the car to walk next to her.

"We have tomorrow morning off," Toby said, walking shoulder to shoulder with her. "The flight back to D.C. is at 6 p.m."

"I know the schedule, Toby."

He had been expecting sudden shifts in her mood, another indication that she was exhausted beyond her means. She had moved past quiet restraint to tired indignation. The best course of action in these circumstances, he had found, was to ride the waves and sometimes step out of the way.

"I don't need a babysitter," she continued.

Toby held her elbow as they ascended the stairs. "Could have fooled me," he mumbled under his breath. "You've been walking around in a daze for the last week and I know you haven't had any sleep since we've been in Manchester."

They stopped just inside the door. Toby tried to push her towards the stairs; she resisted by planting her feet.

Their nonverbal battle was disturbed by the ringing of a cell phone. Toby closed his eyes and reached inside his suit coat pocket.

"What do you want?" he said into the phone, not bothering to see the number of the incoming call.

"Is that any way to talk to me, Toby?"

He took a moment to look at the LCD display on his phone to confirm the voice ringing in his ear.

"Are you Abbey or the First Lady right now?"

CJ closed her eyes and leaned her head back.

"Which will give me the response I want to hear?" Abbey replied.

"Neither at this point. What can I do for you?"

"Is CJ with you? I was a little concerned when all I found on the front porch was an empty bottle of hard cider and two upturned glasses on the ground."

"She's standing in front of me, Abbey."

"I know she tried to resign this morning," Abbey said quietly. "Jed just told me when I asked him if he knew where you two had gone off to."

Toby watched as CJ found a cushioned bench to sit on. He was still wary that she could hear his end of the conversation. "I brought her back to the hotel."

"Is she okay?"

"I don't know."

"She doesn't like to be handled any more than you or me," Abbey stated.

"That I do know," Toby replied, knowing that was exactly the wall he was about to hit. She lent the back of her head against the wall. If he didn't know better, he would think she was asleep.

Abbey was quiet on the other end of the line. If the noise in the background wasn't there, he'd have sworn she hung up.

"Take of her," he heard just before the click of the closed connection.

Toby pocketed his phone and slowly walked over the bench where CJ sat.

She sat stock still, breathing slowly through her nose. Her arms hung loosely by her sides.

"Beds are for sleeping. Benches are for sitting." Toby nudged her with his shoulder as he made himself comfortable.

CJ mumbled, "I'm not asleep."

"Maybe you should try."

"Don't lecture me, Toby." She leaned forward, bracing her elbows against her knees.

"Someone has to." At her raised eyebrow and turned head, Toby amended, "I'm the only one who won't catch hell for it."

"Don't bet on it." She rubbed at her eyes with the heel of her hand.

"Not sleeping is what got you into trouble in the first place."

"And whose fault is that?" she replied with a bit of vehemence. "The past month would have been a whole lot easier for me and everyone else if we had known about the M.S. from the get go."

"There's a real possibility that the last month wouldn't have happened because we might not have won the White House."

"And it's arguments like that which keep me up at night." She leaned back against the bench, head listing towards Toby's shoulder. "I hate 'what ifs'."

Toby wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her flush against his side. She reluctantly dropped her head on his shoulder.

"Our job is a world of 'what ifs'. It's hard to avoid them," he replied, rubbing her shoulder.

"Carol said Henry got hit with the FDA question in the morning briefing. Just another headache on the horizon."

It was hard to shrug his shoulders with her lying against one. Toby's free hand floated in his lap as if it had a mind of its own.

"Josh has decided to fall on that gauntlet for you."

"He's trying to make up for blowing Tobacco." She shook her head. "It doesn’t matter. I asked all agencies to hold off announcements today as a gesture of good will. Apparently the Food and Drug Administration doesn't like me."

"I think it's more that the commissioner of the FDA doesn't like us. I don’t think it's anything personal against you."

"He wouldn't have a job if it wasn't for us. It's a Presidential appointment."

CJ turned her body in towards Toby so that her head rested naturally on his shoulder.

"And now I am going to have to spin the fact that though the President has not spoken out against RU-486, he's never offered an opinion in favor of it. This is a wonderful way to start off the campaign. It's not going to be about his re-election platform in tomorrow's op-ed. It's going to be about the issues that we don't want to touch in fear of alienating half the nation."

"It will be better once you've had some sleep," Toby suggested, rubbing her back.

CJ lifted head to look at him. "This is going to be a thing with you now, isn't it?"

"Yes."

Her head returned to where his shoulder met his neck. "I can't do it. I can't sleep. It's too quiet here."

"You're not sleeping at home, either. Are the voices in your head waging war?"

"If by that you mean do I have a lot on my mind, then the answer would be yes." She sighed and said softly, "I am just so tired."

"Then get some sleep."

"You seem to be missing an important part of this equation," she said into his shoulder.

"We could get in the car, drive back to Washington tonight. You seem to have no problem sleeping in cars."

When he got no response, he tried to turn his head to look at her face. "CJ?"

Her hair had fallen in her face, but Toby was sure CJ was asleep. He pulled her closer to him.

"Leave it to you to not fall asleep somewhere comfortable."

He tried to look around the bench, on the tables, the plant stands-- anything that would keep his attention off the woman asleep on his shoulder. There was an out of date copy of Ladies Home Journal on the low slung table in front of him.

Time saving beauty products. Wedding disaster stories. Summer fashion: 10 ideas for under $100. Relationships: are you in love with your best friend?

"Best to leave that one alone."

He rearranged his body in his seat so that he was more comfortable. His jacket went behind his back after he retrieved a dime spiral notebook and pen from the pocket. Crossing his legs so he could use his right knee as a writing surface, he held the pen in his mouth as he flipped through the note pad to a clean page.

"Okay, I'll give an hour, two hours tops. And then you sleep in a real bed. Got it?"

He outlined a response to the FDA's announcement in his mind before putting it to paper.

"And don't think I'm going to let this become a habit," he said as an afterthought.

END