(Transcript of The Good Old Ed)
(Eddy's room. Eddy is sitting in front of his mirror, with his back to the
camera. He has his hands to his face. His door opens, Ed, who's holding some
boxes, is reflected in the mirror. Eddy whips around, revealing that he was
trying to shave, using shaving cream and a disposable razor. Ed laughs.)
EDDY: (With many scratches on his face)Ed! Can't you see I'm practicing for
manurity?
ED: This or then!(Takes Eddy's razor) You won't want to forget to remember
this! (He throws the razor onto a pile of Eddy's belongings on his bed.) Or-
(Reaches under the covers) Look, it's Eddo! (Holds up Eddo) Ohh! (Eddy's record
player smashes as it is thrown onto the pile) And you'll need to think back
this! (As does his mirror ball. Eddy is staring slack jawed) And this.
Recollect this! Oh, and this! Oha, and who would want to forget this-
EDDY: (rallying) ED! (The scene shifts to outside. Ed is dragging a huge sack,
and Eddy is pulling on it) What the heck are you doin'? Gimmie back my stuff!
(He sees an open briefcase, and lets go to look at it. He reads the sign inside
incredoulsy) Place memories here?
EDD: (Walking on screen carrying a box of stuff) Well, hello, Eddy. Fashionably
late, as usual.
EDDY: Late? Late for what?
EDD: Our time capsule, Eddy! Remember? (Placing his lablemaker and skull in the
briefcase) We were to gather a few of our poignant possessions, and bury them
in a go-no-further location. (Eddy looks bored. Ed is digging in the sack)
Then, re-excavate our said capsule as grownups, and reminisce on our yesterdays
with a smile. Do you recognise this, Eddy? (Eddy looks, and Ed pops his head
out, wearing a cowboy hat) The turkey baster! (Holds it up) Or should I say,
our Canadian squirt gun! (Laughs)
(Eddy grabs the turkey baster, hitting Edd in the face in the process)
EDDY: (playing with it) Oh yeah! I remember this thing.
ED: Funny it was, huh, as if it were only second season.
(Eddy squirts Ed)
EDD: (Shocked, as Eddy laughs) There was water left in that!
(Eddy squirts Edd in the mouth and laughs again.Ed joins in.)
EDD: Ha ha ha, very funny. How about this tablet of memories?(Holds up the
hypno-wheel and spins it)
ED and EDDY: The hypnotisin' wheel!
(Eddy kicks the wheel out of Edd's hand)
EDD: (Rubbing his hand) Can't you just ask for something like a normal human
being?
EDDY: Remember when we hypnotised Kevin into thinking he was a chimp?(Spins the
wheel)
ED: It is to laugh! (Pointing to his butt) An' he thought my butt was a peanut.
(Eddy bites him like Kevin did) Yeow!
(Ed and Eddy laugh)
EDD: (with a cup[?] on his head, swaying) Hehe. Look at *my* antics. I am Kevin
the primate. (making a monkey face, and noise to go with it) Oo oo oo, oo oo oo.
(Nazz appears behind him)
NAZZ: Hey guys. (Edd jumps. Nazz is uncertain) Um, what's up? (The Eds look
round, still in their earlier positions. Nazz is scared) Uh, never mind. (Backs
away)
EDD: (Briefly blushing) I wonder what Nazz will remember of us when she's older.
EDDY: That you looked like an idiot, and how could she have let a hunk like me
get away.
(Edd stares at Eddy for a second, then bursts out laughing. Eddy is annoyed.)
EDD: See? Revisiting bygone days can be fun, Eddy.
(Edd rummages in the briefcase)
EDDY: What else you got in there?(Drops the hypno-wheel back in)
ED: Remember me? (Jumps into shot, wearing the Fad Freaky suit. He trips.)
Ouch, oo, ow, oo ow, (etc)
EDD and EDDY: (Delighted) Fad Freaky!
EDDY: Good times, huh Sockhead?
(Eddy nudges Edd, causing him to fall over. Edd pulls his head out of the
cardboard box where he fell, with a remote control in one eye. It looks
painful. He pulls it out, revealing a black eye.)
EDDY: Hey, I remember that! (Laughs enough to fall over.) That's when Ed hit
you with that sack o' potatoes!
EDD: (superior) Your recollection's a bit foggy, Eddy, this remote control was
from our faux time machine.
ED: (Scratching his letterbox) Huh?
EDDY: Time machine?
EDD: Surely you recall the time machine!
ED: Um?
EDDY: (Scornful) It's prob'ly from that dumb rocket car you built.
EDD: (Annoyed) Time machine. Not the rocket car, time machine. Remember?
(Happy) Jimmy and Jonny were at rapt attention. While I explained-
(The screen distorts, then clears somewhere else)
(Jimmy and Jonny are... looking confused. They're inside something white, with
a circular window cut out.)
JIMMY: (Scared) Are you sure, Double Dee?
(The viewpoint switches to behind the kids. Ed is wearing a yellow tweed jack,
and there is a question mark reading "ask me" on his hat. He is standing next
to a board full of complex calculations, with "Time Travel" written up the top)
EDD: Most assuredly, Jimmy. Neither I, nor science, have found any correlation
between time travel, and frizzy, flyaway hair.
(The scene has shifted. Now it can be seen that they are in front of Eddy's
house, with Eddy, looking bored, is manning a stand with "Time Machine"
and "25c" written on it. Ed is at the top of the stand, holding a clock, and
Jimmy and Jonny are in a large white box.)
ED: (Faintly) Oink, oink, oink, oink.
EDDY: Are you done yammerin'?
(Jonny looks excited, Jimmy uncertain.)
EDD: (Dramatic, closing the "time machine" hatch) Prepare to incredibly
transverse to the Triassic Period, (Turning a dial above the door to "Past
(Triassic)") of yesteryear!
(Inside, with Jimmy still uncertain:)
JONNY: This is gonna rock!
(Outside, Ed, now on the ground, pulls the clock off his foot, then picks up
the box and shakes it vigorously)
JIMMY: (faint) Ow, ow. (Continues as the "time machine" is shaken")
EDD: Tally ho, back in time we go!
(Edd runs off the right, and Ed follows, still shaking the box.)
JONNY: Woo hoo, hang on, Plank!
(Eddy runs after the others, panting.)
(Back inside the box, Jimmy and Jonny are bouncing around, and Jonny is
enjoying himself. Jimmy is in pain, and still saying ow. Jonny laughs
excitedly. The box stops shaking, and Jimmy lets out two more screams as he
hits the floor. Jonny stands up.)
JONNY: I think we're here, Plank.
(Jimmy is covered in bruises. Outside, it appears to be a steamy jungle, and
chattering can be heard. Jonny opens the door cautiously, stepping out. Jimmy
hides behind the doorframe as the camera pans out. A sign reading "No mammals
allowed" can be seen. They are in the forest, with backdrops to make it look
prehistoric. Ed is heard to yell something unintelligible as a cardboard
pterodactyl goes past on two ropes.)
JIMMY: (Terrified) Pterodactyl! (Backs away)
JONNY: C'mon, Jimmy. We can't get hurt, 'cause we weren't even born yet! (Pulls
Jimmy outside) Wowsers, look, Plank!
(A metal Triceratops jumps onto the "Time machine", squashing it.)
JIMMY: Triceratops!
(Ed, who is in the Triceratops model, stands up. We see his legs, but Jimmy and
Jonny don't notice. Jimmy runs, pushing Jonny, who makes no move to escape,
ahead of him.)
JONNY: Right on, eh buddy? (Holds up Plank)
JIMMY: (Nervous noise) Make it stop, make it-(Ed jumps on him and Jonny)
(Jimmy wanders off, dazed, when Ed jumps back into shot, with Jonny on top of
the Triceratops model. Jimmy screams as he is squashed again.)
JONNY: Yipee, twenty-three skitaloo!
(Jimmy is in the ground, up to his eyeballs)
EDDY: Roar! (Jimmy looks up, and sees a giant Tyranasaurus Rex robot) Roar!
Rooaar!
(Jimmy screams, as Ed jumps onto what appears to be a scaled down model of a
Brachoisarus. The model, with Jonny still on top, is thrown off into the air.)
ED: (Raising his arms) Wagga wagga, woooo.
JONNY: Wahoo! (The Triceratops ends up in the Tyranasaurus's mouth)
EDDY: (Stares, holding a traffic cone.) What the?
JONNY: Neato! We've been swallowed alive, buddy! (Sees someone in front of him,
holding the remote control from earlier) Huh?
(It's Edd, back in his normal clothes)
EDD: (Nervous) Well, uh, hello Jonny.
(There is a loud banging and the robot shakes. Outside, Eddy is using his
traffic cone to bang the robot.)
EDDY: Hey! What's goin' on up there?
(One of the robot's eye's falls off onto Eddy. He runs away as the entire
Tyrant Lizard model falls on him.)
(EDD laughs as the screen is distorted back to the yard.)
EDD: (Very amused) Oh, and the funny part of it was, the Tyranasaurus actually
lived in the Cretatious period, not the Triassic period!(Laughs) Good times,
huh fellas?
(Eddy and Ed look confused. Ed has the letterbox off his head, but is still
wearing the rest of the Fad Freaky outfit.)
EDDY: (Annoyed) What, are you talkin' about?
ED: Yeah, Double Dee, an elephant never forgets, but I forget what the elephant
remembered. (Edd winces three times during this part, for some reason)
EDD: Y-es, well, you probably just weren't paying attention at the time, Ed.
(Laughing) But I'm sure Eddy remembers.
EDDY: (Holding a jug) In another life, windbag. But I remember this!
ED: (Turns to look at it) My dear friend the jug!
(Edd loses his posture)
EDD: That's a pitcher, Ed. (Stands up) And it's quite familiar to many of our
Ed-ventures! (Giggles)
(Eddy puts the jug onto Ed's head)
EDDY: (Grabbing Edd around the stomach, causing his eyes to bulge out) It's
from when you had the hiccups, Double Dee! Remember? (The screen distorts again)
(The Eds are looking over a fence. Ed and Eddy are smiling, while Edd looks
uncomfortable.)
EDDY: Quarter says Victor kicks Rolf in the head again.
(Edd looks very sick)
ED: My turn!
(Edd hiccups, and falls off.Edd and Ed look at him, much like in the opening
sequence. Edd stands up.)
EDD: (Dusting himself off)Seems an air bubble has lodged itself within my-
(hiccups, then covers his mouth. Ed and Eddy are still on the fence.)
(Edd hiccups again, lifting himself into the air. Eddy laughs)
EDD: Oh dear.
(Edd runs away, as Ed covers his mouth. He falls down when he notices that
there's nothing to hold him up. Eddy jumps down onto Ed, then runs after Edd.)
EDDY: Come here, I'll get rid of 'em.
(Edd is in his kitchen, breathing into a paper bag. He hiccups.)
EDD: (Frazzled) Oh dear.
(Edd breathes into the bag again, as the camera pans over to Eddy, looking
annoyed. He puts one of his hairs into his mouth as Edd hiccups again.)
EDD: Oh my.
(Edd blows up the paper bag again, and Eddy pops it with his hair as Ed looks
through the door. Edd is blown back, his head going through the wall, just
below some electrical sockets. Ed stares at him.)
EDDY: There, they're gone.
ED: Hiccups have left the building, Eddy.
(Edd hiccups, and his eyes bulge out, causing the electrical sockets to fall
out of the wall. He looks tired.)
EDDY: (What the..) Strong hiccups.
(Ed carries Edd over to Eddy, and puts him on the ground, holding him there.)
ED: (Scared) Quick, Eddy, do something, Double Dee is gonna-(Edd hiccups)
explode!
(Ed grabs Eddy by the hair and puts him on top of Edd, then jumps on Eddy and
braces himself.)
EDDY: Ed, you idiot, this ain't gonna get rid of the hiccups!
(Edd hiccups. Ed ends up with his head stuck in the roof, while Eddy bounces
off to the side.)
EDDY: Ow, ow, oo.
(Edd lifts his head)
EDD: Water! I need water!
(Edd walks over to the sink, gibbering. He gets a glass and turns on the tap,
but before he can drink the water, he hiccups, splashing the water over his
face. He pushes his hat back up, muttering incoherently, and fills the glass
with more water. He hiccups again, propelling him upwards, screaming. He lands
face down on the floor. Eddy grabs him, and holds him upside down)
EDDY: You're doin' it all wrong, you're s'posed to drink it upside down!(Eddy
has levered Edd's mouth open with his foot, and now uses Ed's dear friend the
jug to pour water in. Nothing happens for a second, then Edd hiccups, almost
swallowing the jug. His head now has the shape of the jug. Ed grabs him by the
handle.)
ED: Let's scare'm, Eddy.
(Edd screams in a strangled way as Ed levers his mouth wide open and yells into
it)
ED: I am a zombie, and I will malice you with a shoehorn!
(Edd hiccups, falling onto Eddy. The jug has disappeared.)
EDD: (Incredulous) Malice me with a shoehorn?!
(Edd hiccups, flipping onto his back. He hiccups again, plunging him headfirst
through the floor. He groans.)
(Eddy laughs as the screen distorts back.)
EDD: (Surprised) Hiccups? Me?
EDDY: (Angry) It lasted for two days!
EDD: (Folding his arms, while Eddy looks annoyed) I'm sure I would have
remembered involuntary spasms of my own diaphragm, Eddy.
(Ed pops up between his friends, knocking them down. He is back to wearing his
normal clothes)
ED: I just remembered something I forgot! (Holds up a spatula) See, a flipper.
EDD: That's a spatula, Ed.
(Eddy grabs the spatula)
EDDY: Cool! From when we spraypainted that gold jewelry!
(Ed headbuts Eddy, causing him to lose the spatula)
ED: IN-correction!
EDD: (Picking up the spatula) Ed's right, Eddy. This was clearly from when we
bartered eggs from Rolf!
(Edd goes to put the spatula in with the other stuff)
ED: (Closing the lid on Edd's hand) Wro-ong! (He shakes up the briefcase, and
extracts Edd's hand, still holding the spatula, with difficulty) Oh look, a
flipper.
EDDY: That's a spatula, stupid.
ED: (Lifting Edd up by the neck) It reminds me of when we made that giant
pancake! Drool I must...
(The screen distorts)
(Eddy is standing on a ladder over a huge saucepan, filled with batter. He is
mixing it using a long pole. The round part of the cul-de-sac is covered in
grease, which Ed and Edd are standing near.)
EDDY: Mixin' this batter's killin' my arms. (Yelling) Ed! Get over here!
(Ed runs over Edd, pushing him into the batter, in his haste to get to the
giant saucepan. As Edd screams, Ed jumps forward and spins face down to the
other side.)
EDDY: (Yelling as Edd stands up, all yellow and soaked.) Griddle greased up,
Double Dee?
EDD: Cooking oil in place, Eddy.
(Ed laughs in the background during Eddy's next line)
EDDY: (Jumping down) Sa-wheet! Get an agent, boys, (Ed runs past) 'cause we're
gonna make the (echo-y) world's biggest pancake!
(Eddy rushes behind the giant saucepan. He and Ed start to push it down. It's
on hinges.)
ED: I love pancakes, Eddy!
EDDY: Shut up and pour, Lumpy.
(As Edd squeezes oil out of his hat, he hears the sound of kids at play. He
opens his eyes and looks around, then gets to the other side of the griddle in
1 second flat.)
EDD: Excuse me, Eddy. (The camera angle changes, and the kids can be seen on
the griddle) Everyone seems to have mistaken our griddle for a skating rink.
(The kids skate)
EDDY: (pointing) Hey you kids, get outta my fryin' pan!
(There is a groaning. Edd and Eddy look up, Ed has succeeded in pouring the
batter.)
EDD: Ed, wait!
(Ed looks shocked. Jimmy, who's the closet to the Eds' side, looks up in
horror.)
JIMMY: Holy mackerel! Tidal waaave!
(The kids scream as they are covered in a wave of batter.)
EDD: (As the pancake begins to cook) Ed, what in heaven's name have you done?!
ED: (Joyful) It's a boy!
EDD: (Getting the spatula from somewhere) Fear not, people, as I have a spatula!
(Edd starts to run to the rescue)
EDDY: Oh no you don't. (Edd screams weakly as Eddy pulls him back) I'm the cook
around here, so I get the spatula. (Takes it)
(Ed inhales the smell of the pancake, now fully cooked.)
ED: Yum. (He takes a chunk of pancake and eats it. His eyes bulge out, and he
remove's Kevin's pants from his mouth) I got a prize, Eddy!
EDDY: Hey! Keep your mits off my pancake!
(Eddy looks under the pancake and sees Rolf's leg. He is suddenly grabbed by
Kevin, Sarah, Rolf, and Jimmy's arms, and pulled under)
EDDY: (As he is being pummeled by Kevin, Nazz, Rolf and Sarah, whose arms are
sticking up from under the pancake) Ack, ow, ow, ooh, (etc)
(The screen distorts back.)
(Ed smiles vacantly, holding up the spatula, while Edd and Eddy stare at him.)
ED: Ah, the good ol' days.
(Eddy grabs his head and groans in frustration)
EDDY: We never made no giant pancake!
(Edd has a very strange look on his face)
ED: Did too! Proof! A flipper.(Eddy jumps him)
(Edd stares)
EDD: (Gesturing) Gentlemen, please, this project was meant as a commemoration
of friendship, a retrospective of days gone by!
(Eddy grabs Ed by the collar, as Ed laughs)
EDDY: Admit it, you made that up!
(Ed pauses)
ED: (Yelling in Eddy's face) RIGHT! (Eddy looks frazzled) Now I remember as
though it were today.
(The screen distorts)
(We're back at the start of the episode, with Eddy staring at the briefcase)
EDD: (Walking on screen carrying a box of stuff) Well, hello, Eddy. Fashionably
late, as usual.
EDDY: Late? Late for what?
EDD: Our time capsule, Eddy! Remember? (Placing his lablemaker in the
briefcase) We were to gather a few of our poignant possessions- (The flashback
explodes into stars)
(Back in the present, Eddy is sitting on Ed's back, holding the fish from
Dueling Eds.)
EDDY: I hate clip shows!
EDD: (Annoyed, with tears coming from his eyes) Eddy! You stop right there,
mister! (Pus an icepack onto Ed's head, then speaks in a more normal voice)
Remember when you used that fish (Eddy jumps) to duel with Rolf? (Eddy raises
the fish at Edd) Huh?!
(Eddy chases Edd with the fish)
EDDY: No more rememberin'!
(Ed raises himself onto all fours)
ED: Wow, looky here! (Taking the icepack off his head) Isn't this icepack from
when we destroyed Jonny's house? (Eddy stops chasing Edd and starts chasing Ed)
EDDY: Quit breaking up the past!
EDD: Funny. (laughs)This reminds me of a number of occasions, where you chased-
(Eddy chases him)
EDDY: Shut up!
EDD: Ed, do somethiiing!
(Ed stands there and laughs)
ED: Good times, huh Double Dee?
(Fade out)
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