Fake Sith Squadron

Owen as Baron Reno

Nicole Vest as Lord Pilot Thunder

Adam Craiger as Ryvo Lorell

Zak Tucker as Jace Sidrona

Laura Cain as Sky

Doug Barnwell (voice) as Fox

Michael Hicks as Seven

Stephanie Gowan as Palin

Danielle Peterson as Skate

Michelle Hale as Star

Lindsey Tillery as Jen

Adam Green as Narska Plo’kre

Bryan C. as Gimmer

Real Sith Squadron

Fox Starfighter; Sith Six (male Bothan/Ryn/human hybrid)

Seven; Sith Seven (male human)

Palin; Sith Eight (female human)

Jeni Violet; Sith Eleven (female human)

Prologue

     He ducked behind the large rock, holding a blaster and his lightsaber handle.  Behind him, squibs were exploding all over.  Occasionally he would resurface and “shoot” his blaster, though nothing ever actually shot out of it.  It wasn’t designed to actually shoot.  He felt a bit foolish doing it, but he had to do it.  It was required of him.    

     Someone ran to him from the left and crouched behind his rock.  This person also carried a blaster in one hand and a lightsaber hilt in the other, though it wasn’t “activated.”

     “Seven!  We are cut off from the shuttle!  Do you know what this means?”

     “No…what are you saying, Reno?”

     “I am saying...” Reno gave an overly long, overly dramatic pause and looked to either side of Seven before continuing,  “…we can not escape!”

     “No!  No, it can’t be!”

     “I am afraid it is.”

     “But…what will become of us?!”

     Reno grabbed Seven’s collar and shook him slightly.  “We will die like men, if that is what it comes to!  We shall go and charge valiantly into battle, against hopeless odds, risking our very lives and futures.  But we fight for the greatest prize there is!  The only thing truly worth fighting for!”

     “Hope?  The future?  Peace?”

     Reno turned to him.  “Whyren’s!”  Reno stood up, flung his scarf over his shoulder, and put his hands on his hips, posing as if someone was taking a picture of him.  “So, my friend, we march now into battle, for our Whyren‘s supply has been depleted!”

     Seven stood up next to him, making an equally ludicrous holographic pose in the middle of the battle.  “I shall fight with you till the bitter end!”

     Reno thrust his hand outward and pointed forward.  “Then let us do it to it!”

     He held the pose for several long seconds, as if waiting.

     “Aaaaaaand cut!  Tail slate!”

     A loud bell rang on the set, and an assistant ran in front of the camera with an upside down slate that marked the scene number and other information and clapped it down.

     “Beautiful, print it!” Trotter yelled.

     “Seven,” real name Michael Hicks, and “Reno” who simply went by the name Owen—no last name; he felt that gave him more of a superstar presence—let out a deep breath and dropped their ridiculous poses.  They tried to move their way off the cheap set on Soundstage Thirteen but were immediately assaulted by the makeup artists, who began to touch up spots that had been messed up during the last shoot.  Mike hated being covered in make up, and hated sitting in a makeup chair for hours at a time, but Owen seemed to really get off on it.  He felt that it was important to look his absolute best in every single shot in every single episode.  It made him very insufferable sometimes.  

     The director, a hyperactive man named Trotter, approached them.  He didn’t look happy.  Well, that wasn’t entirely true.  He looked like he was pretending to be happy, though he was actually disappointed, which made for a very unusual face. 

     “Hey, great scene guys, really, great.  Just fantastic, really.  I loved it, I really did.  We all did.  A lot.  It was fantastic.”

     Despite his claims, though, his voice indicated those weren’t his true feelings.        Apparently Owen picked up on this, too, and he seemed rather perturbed that Trotter didn’t think his performance was anything but perfect.

     “But…” Owen began.

     “Well, Owen, we just think that you’re playing Reno a bit too…dramatic.”

     “Dramatic?!” Owen burst out, loud enough for everyone on the sound stage to hear.  “Me?!  Do you even know who I am?  I played Telmah at the Orpheum.  I was King Ixthil in Antilles IV.  I am a legend, a star!  Don’t you go preaching to me about being too dramatic!  You know nothing of acting!  Nothing!”

     With those words, he flung the scarf over his shoulder again and stormed off the set, still yelling about his credentials as his voice faded away.

     Michael shook his head and cast a quick glance at Trotter, who was muttering and swearing under his breath.  Trotter squeezed his eyes shut and massaged his temples, as if trying to rub away a sudden headache.

     “Someone bring him back,” he whispered. 

     “Bringing him back, sir!” Jason, his assistant, yelled.  At that, he ran off the set and followed the sound of Owen’s diminishing but still loud voice.

     Michael cautiously walked up to Trotter.  “So, um…was I okay?” he asked.

     “Oh, yeah, fine, kid, you were great.  Loved you.  Fantastic.  Just do better next time, eh?”

     Without any more words, Trotter walked over towards some of the writers and began to talk to them, seemingly forgetting Michael was even there.  Michael didn’t mind, though.  He was just happy to be here.  This was, after all, his first acting gig.  And the auditions for the role of “Seven” were brutal.  He had auditioned with hundreds of people for this role and despite his age and lack of both acting credentials and political power he had won it.  Suffice to say, it was the highlight of his life so far.  And even if the main star was a pompous ass, and even though the director didn’t know he existed, he was just happy to be here.

     After all, it wasn’t every day that someone got to be a part of a show like Sith Squadron.

     Michael knew that a show about a squadron full of drunken Sith pilots who flew around in a huge Super Star Destroyer was going to be a huge ratings success.  How could it not be?  The idea was just gold.  And with a cast of characters like the one they had assembled, it was a can’t-miss prospect.  He almost couldn’t believe that his first acting gig promised to be one that should, by all rights, be a blockbuster.  He hoped that its ratings rivaled that of Imperial Icon and Outlive: Tatooine.

     Shooting for the pilot episode was scheduled to be done in a few days, though at the rate Owen was delaying things, he wasn’t so sure they would ever finish.  Regardless of that, they would eventually finish, and about two months from now, the galaxy would be exposed to Sith Squadron for the first time.  

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