Author's Note: i know, it's rather surprising that i would write something like this. Especially since I'm so notorious for my dislike of Recca no hime. It's not that I totally dislike her, I just really don't like the fact that Mikagami likes her. She's an okay character, but I'd prefer it if she was portrayed stronger. She doesn't have to fight like Fuuko, but she has to at least have some spirit. That's why I like the manga Yanagi better than the anime one. She's also so much prettier in the manga, very kawaii. And I also dislike the "damsel in distress" thing that Yanagi often has. She deserves better than that. So this is as always, a firs-person perspective fic. I apologize if it seems out of ordinary for Yanagi, but she's gotta be deeper than how she is normally seen.
DEDICATION:
Yeah, about time I ahd one of these. this fic is dedicated to my friend Perlya-chan, a huge fan of Yanagi, who although we got off the wrong foot, was kind enough that we got along very well. hope everything goes well with your planned site, tomodachi. This also goes to Yana-chan, and all the other fans of Yanagi. She may be not my favorite character but I appreciate her for who she is.
Hime.
Such a fragile sounding word. It means princess. I don't like that word.
He calls me his hime. His princess. The girl who he is sworn to protect even at the cost of his life. Others would be flattered by it. And most of the time I am. But...but...that's not all I am!
I'm more than just his princess, the fragile girl who faints at the first sign of trouble! I-I'm not just the weak one of Team Hokage. I'm more than just the healer desired by Mori Kouran for his evil purposes. I'm so much more than that.
But I'm trapped.
Trapped by that single word.
Hime.
I could learn to hate being his hime.
Why?
I love him. I admit it. I never realized I could feel this way. It's so corny, but I do. I just...do.
Who wouldn't love him? He cares for me, so strongly that sometimes it frightens me. Not because of the depth of his feelings for me...but at what hemight do to protect me.
These times are uncertain. Anything could happen. Evne if there is a momentary peace after the Urabutou Satsujin...I know that this is just the calm before the storm. I don't know what will happen next. I only know that it will not be good. And that I do not want Recca to be caught up in it.
But I'm going off-track aren't I? I was talking about how I hate being called hime.
Such a special term, for a special someone. But don't you see, doesn't he see...how much it limits me?
What do you think of when you hear that word, Hime? Don't give me that Xena Warrior Princess stuff. Honestly What comes to mind? Weak, fainting, always needing a prince to rescue her.
I admire Fuuko-chan so much. She's so strong...and she fights. She's more than that...there's this core of determination the essence of total courage in her. Something that...however it pains me to admit it...I don't have.
I'm weak. I can't fight. I faint at times of trouble. And I don't like it. Do you hear me? I DON'T LIKE IT.
It would surprise everyone, Recca, Tokiya-sempai, Fuuko, Domon, Koganei, Kagerou, Ganko...it would surprise them all at how passionate I am about this. Really they don't see the fierce emotions that I harbor.
Another limitation of being a princess. I must always be gracious, always be sweet. But there are times when I just want to stamp my foot and shout. Shout at the unfairness of life. That the people I cae for must be hurt because of me.
And there lies the core of all my problems.
Me.
First rule of fairy tales. A princess must always be captured by some evil villain. A prince or in my case a ninja has to rescue her.
Isn't that just so stupid? This is what I really hate about being a princess. His princess. They all suffer...all for my sake.
I am weak, I cannot fight, I cannot even help them during their battles. I am more of a liability than an asset. And I wish I were not.
I sometimes wish that Recca and the others had never met me. I would know that they were safe. I would gladly go to Mori Kouran...just to ensure that they will never suffer again because of me.
I wish I could help. Help in the fight against Kouran. Just to forget that I am the cause...
I envy them...my friends. Because they can help. What can I do? Except heal.
My strange power, the thing that puts everyone I care for in danger. I can only heal their wounds. And even that...I can't do enough.
I cannot heal the wounds of their heart.
I cannot heal Mikagami's bitterness over the death to his sister, nor take away the hate eating away at him that would someday be his destruction.
I cannot heal Koganei's confusion over Kurei.
I cannot heal Fuuko's pain over always being hurt only because she's female...being looked down on because of her gender.
I cannot heal Domon's self-esteem. For underneath his brash exterior, is a boy, hurting because he believes he is lower than everyone else.
I cannot heal Recca's fears...for his mother...and for myself.
The one thing I am good at...I cannot even do properly.
I don't want to be a weak princess. I want to be someone...anyone...who can be strong...who can help.
It's shallow...I realize that.
Do you kmow...I was no one until I met Recca. No one special. Just another girl. A thoroughly unremarkable one at that. But when I looked at him and he looked at me, I knew everything was going to change. And they did. My ninja. He's found me.
But...he is always in danger because of me. The princess who everyone fights for. I don't want that. I don't want Recca kneeling in front of me, or standing in front of me, always protecting me.
No, I want him beside me, facing all of life's hardships together. But i am his princess, and all I can offer him is healing and love.
But I want to be more.
So Recca, my loyal ninja, don't call me hime. I'm not some princess in a tower, or a girl waiting for her prince's kiss.
I'm Yanagi, just a girl, no one special really.
Except that I love you.
OWARI