Title: Just Add Water
Series: Hikaru no Go
Author: Luce Red
Disclaimer: Characters are the creations of Hotta and Obata
Type: AU, Hikaru/Akira
Summary: Shindou ignores Go; Akira plays with ramen.

--------------

Touya was never sure what made him enter the ramen restaurant near the Go Institute. After all, he hardly ate ramen, and had always regarded it as unhealthy food, full of sodium and grease. But on that day he turned from his usual path to the subway station, and found himself walking towards it.

It was a tiny restaurant, just a step up from a ramen stand, and did brisk business selling ramen to the office workers working in the area during the lunch hour. The owner (and chef) of the restaurant was quite young, with a shock of dyed blond hair that seemed at odds with the traditional decor. Touya had seen him a few times, from a distance, when he made personal deliveries to the Go Institute in place of his assistant.

The soft trill of an electronic alarm reached his ears when Touya pushed open the door. Behind the counter, the chef looked up from his scrutiny of a steaming pot. "Welcome!" he said with professional cheer. "Just yourself, sir? Would you like to sit here?" A hand indicated a neatly polished counter, with straw placemats arranged on them.

Touya sat down at a spot nearest to the door, looking around quietly. Most of the dinner crowd had thinned, and there were only half a dozen customers in the place. There was a faint smell of toasted nori in the air, salty and fragrant. He sniffed cautiously.

"It's top grade nori from Innoshima," someone said softly.

Touya turned to see the chef standing in front of him. "Oh," he said.

What would you like, sir?" the chef asked, and his smile seemed to be a fraction more genuine now. "The house special? You're in luck, I have only a few servings left!" he nodded towards the pot at his side.

It seemed rude to reject the suggestion. "Yes, I'd like that. Thank you."

The chef nodded, and set to work. Touya watched the way his hands moved deftly as he threw a bundle of ramen into a steel contraption, and plunging that into a pot of boiling water, shaking it vigorously all the while. "You're from the Go Institute, aren't you?" the chef said suddenly.

Touya gave a start. "Yes. How did you know?" he asked.

The chef said, "Oh, I've seen you walking past a few times, in that direction. Do you work there?"

"Not exactly," Touya thought about the best way of explaining his profession to an outsider. "I'm... I'm a professional Go player," he finally said.

"Oh!" the chef said. "So you're one of those, huh?" he said.

"Excuse me?"

Remarkably, the chef made a motion with his free hand that resembled someone placing a stone on a mid-air Go board. "You take part in competitions and tournaments, right?"

"Yes." He waited a second, but couldn't help asking, "I'm sorry, do you play Go too?"

"Yup," the chef said as he turned towards the side table, doing something with the ramen that Touya couldn't see. "Just as a hobby, though. I learnt it from one of my grandpa's friends, who was a real nut for Honinbou Shuusaku, at least until the time he suddenly left Tokyo and disappeared altogether. Crazy, huh?" He turned back, a steaming bowl now held in his hands. "Here you are!" he said, putting the bowl before Touya. "Have a good meal." He nodded a half-bow.

Startled by the mention of Honinbou Shuusaku, Touya opened his mouth to ask more, but at that moment one of the customers asked for the bill. "Coming!" the chef said, and walked out from behind the counter.

Touya was still blowing on his soup when the chef wished his departing customers a good night and went back behind the counter.

"So, how does it taste?" the chef asked, then exclaimed, "Oi, you can't eat ramen like that! You have to slurp it!"

"I'd scald myself if I did that," Touya protested. It's steaming hot."

"You don't eat ramen that often, do you?" the chef asked, shaking his head. "It's not that hot! Really. The steam's good for your pores. Eat up!"

"But..."

"It tastes better that way. Come on, just eat a big mouthful, and slurp it all up. Try it!"

Pressured, Touya caught more ramen in his chopsticks, and tried to swallow it. Unfortunately, the hot steam irritated his throat and he started coughing. His eyes watered, and his lungs felt like they were on fire. As he coughed, a hand started to pat him on the back.

"Are you all right?" the chef asked.

Touya stopped coughing and tried to swallow his resentment; his throat still felt itchy.

The chef looked glum. "This is the first time that I've seen a customer who started coughing at the taste of my ramen."

"I'm sorry," Touya couldn't help saying, though he felt that it wasn't his fault. "I'm just not very used to eating so quickly-"

"It's not your fault," the chef said, getting behind the counter and within seconds, setting down a glass of water before him. "Try sipping that."

Touya thanked him and did as he suggested.

"Guess you're not in the mood for ramen, then." He looked even more down.

"I am," Touya tried to reassure him, instantly apologetic. "I was just too hasty," he said, and took up his chopsticks again. He began eating, slowly and pausing to let each mouthful of ramen cool a little before putting it in his mouth, and sipped the broth from a spoon.

The chef chook his head. "I've never seen anyone eat ramen so neatly," he said. "How does it taste, then?" he asked.

Touya looked up to see the anxious look in his eyes. "It's good," he said honestly.

***

Maybe it was because it was so unexpected for a ramen chef, even one that played Go, to mention Honinbou Shuusaku, that Touya found himself pushing open the door to the ramen restaurant again. There had been a time when Shuusaku had been respected and studied by everyone, from amateurs to pros. These days, now that Japanese Go players no longer dominated the international stage, much of the attention was on Korean and Chinese games.

"Welcome!" the chef said as Touya entered. His jaw dropped a little when he saw Touya, but he recovered quickly. "Have a seat!" he urged Touya. "I didn't think I'd see you again. About that other time-"

"It's all right," Touya said quickly. He sat down at the counter again, at the same spot he occupied the last time, and cleared his throat. "One house special, please."

The smile widened on the chef's face. "Right away!"

They exchanged names when the ramen came, and that was when Touya learnt that the chef's name was Shindou Hikaru. He had been apprenticed to a ramen chef soon after high school, and only after a year, Shindou had opened his own ramen stand, and another three years later, this restaurant.

As he ate, Touya tried not to feel self-conscious. Shindou lingered by the counter--business was apparently slow that night--and was watching him eat ramen again. "You're working late today," Shindou remarked.

'Working late' was certainly a novel way to describe the game he'd just ended with Mitsui eight-dan. It had taken three hours, but Touya felt as though it had lasted twice as long. The game had seemed almost interminable. "I had an important game today," Touya said politely, though in his heart he wondered if it was truly that important, "and we discussed the game for a long time afterwards."

"Oh." A spark of interest entered Shindou's eyes. "Did you win?"

The question of the hour. Touya inclined his head, not wanting to appear boastful. "It was a close game," he said, vaguely wondering why he was trying to save Mitsui's face. The fact was that Mitsui, while a clever player, had hardly been a tenacious opponent, and Touya had won by three-and-a-half moku.

Shindou started to smile at the news of a victory, but frowned. "I'm sorry, this probably sounds rude, but when you came in just now, it didn't look like you had just won a game," he said.

Touya stiffened, trying to remember if he had even bothered to smile at Shindou when he came in. He had an inkling of how he looked to Shindou: weary, harried, and in need of something to numb his senses. It was a look that appeared more and more in his mirror whenever he reached home at night.

"Oh, I'm sorry! It was insensitive of me to say that," Shindou apologised, looking very young as he spoke. "I'm always blurting out stuff and offending customers," he added.

"No..." Touya said before Shindou could try to bow in apology. "It's all right. I was feeling rather tired when I came in... Please don't apologise for speaking the truth."

Shindou still looked embarrassed. "I shouldn't have been so direct," he said. "Wait a second," he said, before he turned around, and rushed to the other end of the kitchen. He was back in no time, setting a bottle of chilled sake before Touya. "On the house," he said. He poured and offered Touya a cup.

Comforted by the gesture, Touya accepted with muttered thanks.

Shindou smiled, still looking a little awkward.

To distract him, Touya asked, "I remember you saying that you also play Go..."

Shindou waved a hand in dismissal. "Just as a hobby, like I said. My Go certainly can't be compared to you, Sensei," he said.

The use of his professional honorific made Touya squirm inwardly. He went on, "You mentioned Shuusaku," he said. "You also studied his kifu?"

Shindou continued to smile, but there was a stiffness to his expression, as though he was trying to control himself. "Oh, my teacher was a fan of Shuusaku. I swear, he knew all his games by heart. I learnt a little from him."

The modesty seemed to ring false. Touya had the feeling that 'a little' actually meant years of dedicated study. On impulse, he said, "Not many young players these days know of Shuusaku."

The genial expression on Shindou's face turned into a fierce scowl, surprising even Touya, who had expected a reaction along those lines. "Don't talk to me about those punks!" Shindou snarled.

"Shindou-san?" Touya said, watching as the ramen chef turned into a Go traditionalist before his very eyes, talking out loud as he walked up and down the length of the counter, gestulating to himself. The few customers who were still in the restaurant looked up in alarm.

"...no respect for one of the best players in the history of Go..."

"Shindou-san," Touya said again.

"... and they call themselves professionals! They need a good kick in the... Oh, sorry, I got carried away." As quickly as the rant started, it ended with Shindou actually bowing in apology this time, nearly upsetting a stack of bowls at his side as he did so. "I'm sorry," he said again. "Did you want something?"

"Ah... I think one of your customers asked for the bill." Touya turned his head a little in that direction.

"Oh!" Shindou nodded. "Thanks." He made his way out from behind the counter.

All of the customers suddenly wanted to settle their bills, so it took nearly thirty minutes before Shindou had seen them out, collected all of the empty bowls, cleaned the tables and went back to the counter. His assistant had gone back early, Shindou told him casually.

"I have to go too," Touya said, his trepidation re-emerging.

Shindou nodded, wiping his hands on his apron and coming forward. "Of course. It's quite late." Was it Touya's imagination, or did Shindou sound a little disappointed?

Having paid the bill, Touya was at the door when the impulse he had been nursing all evening suddenly came to a head, making him turn back and nearly clashing heads with Shindou, who was bowing.

"Um?" Shindou said. "I'm sorry, did you forget some-"

"Would you like to play a game with me?" Touya asked.

***

Shindou said he could make it on Saturday afternoon and turned up at the Go salon promptly at two o' clock, looking around the place with widened eyes. He seemed far too uncertain of himself, too different from the loud, confident chef that Touya knew, and gave his name to Ichikawa in a barely audible voice.

"It's all right, Ichikawa-san," Touya said, forestalling an interrogation from the receptionist. "I asked Shindou-san to come for a private game."

A blink of surprise was all that Ichikawa allowed herself. "Of course, Akira-san," she said. "You'll be using the side-room, then. I'll bring in some tea in a moment."

"Thank you," he said, walking towards the back, with a look for Shindou to follow him.

"Wow," Shindou said, sounding more like himself as he entered the tatami room. "This certainly looks very traditional."

"My father used to hold study sessions in this room," Touya said. Nowadays, Touya usually taught at the Go Institute, or at his students' homes. Ichikawa, who had taken over the management of the salon from Touya's mother, had already tentatively suggested dismantling the room to extend the playing area outside.

"Used to?" Shindou inquired, then looked as though he regretted asking.

"He died three years ago of a heart attack," Touya said.

"I'm sorry."

Touya shook his head. "He drove himself hard, searching for the Hand of God," he said. "It's all right. Please, have a seat." He motioned to the Go board laid out in the middle of the room. Ichikawa still made sure to dust the room daily.

Shindou's actions as he sat down were slightly awkward, as though it had been a long time since he played Go while seated on the floor.

Touya settled down opposite him, not remarking that Shindou was sitting in the same spot his father used to occupy. For a while after his father died, Touya had been acutely sensitive to anyone taking that seat, but now Shindou's position seemed natural, merely a new player taking the place of the old.

"It's me," Ichikawa said from outside by way of greeting, and pushed the door opened. She saw Shindou first, who was changing from a seiza posture to a cross-legged one, and her eyes flickered to Touya as though to judge his reaction, but she said merely, "I hope you'll like the tea," and laid out the cups neatly.

"Thank you," Shindou said. After she closed the door after herself, Shindou looked curiously at Touya. "You don't use this room that often. You don't invite many people to play Go, either," he remarked.

"No," Touya said. He did not wonder at how Shindou knew, and decided against giving a pat excuse, such as how busy he usually was.

Shindou looked around again. "Touya-san, why did you ask me to a game?" he asked.

Touya paused. He had been expecting Shindou to ask the question, but now that the question was out, he found himself lost for words. "I don't know," he said after a while.

"I'm an amateur player," Shindou said, beginning to speculate. "I play only when I have time off from work, and running a ramen restaurant is a full-time occupation. You are Touya Akira, and you have been a professional since you were thirteen..."

"Twelve, actually."

"Twelve," Shindou said without missing a beat. "You're the current Meijin, and you held the Ouza title for two years before losing it last year, and you're in the final round for the Honinbou title this year-" he broke off when he saw Touya's look of surprise, and gave a sudden, irritated swat at the air, as though at an insect, "I asked a couple of my high school friends from the Go Club about you--they keep up on the news better than I do. Of course, I didn't say why I was asking--anyway, the point is that it goes without saying that you have far better Go skills, so why do you want to play with an amateur?"

Shorn of the need to play chef and proprietor, Shindou was even blunter than Touya had predicted.

"I didn't ask you to a game to make fun of you," Touya said, choosing his words carefully, "or to show off. The reason I asked you..." he hesitated, and went on, hoping that he would not be misunderstood, "I've always felt that Go is the best reflection of a person's mind and temperament. The great player Jowa, for example, said that-"

"Touya-san," Shindou interrupted in a mock-serious tone. "Normal people get to know one another by asking questions, you know."

Touya stared at him. "Excuse me?"

Shindou was smiling a little now. "I'm twenty-five years old, and I've been running a ramen restaurant for three years. I graduated from high school seven years ago, and I now live alone in a tiny apartment above the restaurant. I don't have any brothers or sisters. My favourite food is ramen. My favourite colour is yellow. My hobbies are Go, experimenting with ramen, and baseball. My last romantic relationship was with a man. My birthday is on 20 September, and my blood type is O. Now, your turn."

Touya sat still, too surprised to say anything.

Shindou chuckled. "Not enough?" he asked. He frowned up to the ceiling for a second. "Well, when I was in sixth grade, my grandpa started teaching me to play Go. When I was in junior high, I kissed a girl and got punched for it. When I was-"

"It's all right!" Touya said hastily, finding his tongue at last, trying to ignore the fact that he was blushing. "I don't-I'm not-" He took a deep breath. "It's all right," he repeated.

"Sure you wouldn't like to know more?" Shindou teased, but he became sober in the next moment. "All right. Shall we play Go, instead?

Touya seized on the suggestion gratefully. He did not realize until they had both bowed to each other to start the game that Shindou, taking black, was playing without any handicap. He looked up to protest, and saw Shindou wink at him.

"Let's try it this way, shall we?" Shindou asked. "I've always wondered what it was like to play with a pro. Don't beat me too badly, Sensei!"

Shindou played a mean game of Go himself, Touya was starting to realize as they entered the game. His opening moves were solid, and well-planned, and each hand was played with the outmost correctness. His level was very nearly that of a low-ranking pro, in fact, and Touya found himself suspecting Shindou's assertion that he played Go only occasionally. Despite his quip about being beaten by Touya, Shindou engaged his hands without fear, sometimes surprising Touya with particularly insightful hands.

For the first time in months, Touya found himself enjoying Go. He had loved Go for so long that it had almost become a habit, and when that habit became work, he had almost forgotten the passion that propelled him into the professional world. But playing with Shindou brought all of that back. He found himself sneaking glances at Shindou, when he was sure that Shindou's attention was focused on the Go board, luxuriating in the open pleasure on the other's face.

"I have nothing," Shindou said as they were entering yose.

The foremost thought that flashed through Touya's mind was: Not yet! He felt as though he could play this first game again and again, so that he could understand all of Shindou's Go.

"Touya-san?" Shindou's voice interrupted his thoughts.

Touya realized he had been lost in thought, and ignoring Shindou's attempts to get his attention. "Oh! I'm sorry, I should have... T-thank you for the game," he remembered to say.

Shindou gave him a frown. "Are you all right?"

He nodded immediately, out of reflex rather than anything else. "Yes," he said, and paused. "Yes," he said again, gathering his thoughts. "You play very well, Shindou-san," he said.

Shindou looked pleased. "Coming from you, that's a huge compliment," he said.

"You could be a pro," Touya said.

To his surprise, Shindou's expression closed up immediately. "Well, so sorry I'm not," he said. "I'm a ramen chef. But you knew that before you asked me to play."

"I didn't mean-" Touya said, taken aback by his reaction.

"If you wanted to play with a pro, there are plenty of them in the Go Institute," Shindou said, starting to turn away.

Touya reached across the Go board and grabbed Shindou's hand. "I wanted to play with you, not them," he said. Shindou's hands were callused, with impressions of faint scars, probably from sharp knives--a chef's hands--that could not be more different from Touya's own. "It's been a while since I really wanted to play with someone."

Shindou turned back, frowning at him, but he did not try to pull his hand away. "I thought you you really wanted to know me through my Go," he said.

That was a challenge if Touya had ever heard one, so he released Shindou's hand, and bent his head to the Go board. "You started out with Shuusaku's favourite opening," he said.

Shindou's eyes had narrowed. "So?"

"It's an opening you use all the time, judging by your familiarity with it. Every game that you play, you think of the person who taught you about Shuusaku, don't you?"

A start, perhaps of surprise, was all that Shindou allowed himself. "What else?" he asked after a second's pause.

"He must have been a strong player, but you played with him without any handicaps," Touya went on. "Your style of playing--it has no experience of handicaps."

"That was the way he taught me the game."

It was the tone of his voice, rather than Shindou's Go, that made Touya venture, "When he was gone, you missed him greatly."

"He wanted me to be a pro," Shindou said.

"Ah," Touya said, though he had guessed that.

Shindou said nothing, and only looked at Touya, waiting for him to say more.

"You took too long to play the hane here, when it was the most logical response," Touya said, pointing to the Go board. "When you found that he had left, you went through all ways and means to find him, but you had to accept it in the end."

Shindou nodded, almost to himself. "He wanted me to take the pro exam, but I refused," he said. "I don't even remember why. Some stupid reason about a school tournament," he shook his head. "The more he nagged me, the more I dug in my heels. He even had a falling out with Grandpa about me. Then, one day, he disappeared."

"You were ready to try the most desperate ways."

"I must have called all the hospitals and police stations in Japan," Shindou said. "I ran away to Innoshima, because he always said he wanted to go there."

"Even at your most desperate, you found help." Touya's fingers hovered over the corner engagement, where Shindou had managed--though with the utmost difficulty--to make use of Touya's stones to lever himself out of danger.

"Imagine a fifteen-year-old, who had spent his money, wandering about Innoshima," Shindou said. "I finally walked into a Go salon, gambled on a game of Go, and won enough money to get home." He paused. "The boss of the Go salon bought me a bowl of ramen. I thought it was the best ramen I had ever tasted in my life. That was when I decided to be a ramen chef."

Touya frowned, looking up from the game. No, the way Shindou had swerved past the engagement in the middle, to grab the lower left territory, looked wrong. There was no strategy; the shape was unnatural. "Are you sure that was what happened?"

Shindou froze. "What do you mean?" he asked, darting the Go board a sudden, suspicious look, as though it had betrayed him.

Touya spread his hand, indicating the entire Go board. "Your Go speaks falsely."

"Excuse me?" Shindou's expression had closed up again. "No, that's ridiculous. You're ridiculous, you-"

"I'm only reading what your Go says," Touya said, trying to remain calm. He did not expect Shindou to stand up, turn around, and leave without another word.

***

Touya had been struck with a superstitious dread that he would find the ramen restaurant mysteriously deserted, after Shindou's dramatic exit on Saturday. It was with relief when he found that it was open for business after all, on Monday. He stood for a moment outside the restaurant, wondering if he should go in, when the door opened and a group of diners, still talking loudly, walked out, and he caught a glimpse of Shindou at their backs. He caught the closing door before he could lose that glimpse, and went in.

Shindou's expression was a mixture of wariness and welcome, though neither brought up the events of Saturday. He served Touya his ramen awkwardly, and lingered as Touya blew gently at the steam.

Touya wished Shindou would stop watching him eat ramen. He had thought that perhaps this time, he might be able to 'slurp it', as Shindou had recommended that first time.

"Sorry I was such a bad date," Shindou said, just as Touya had just taken his first mouthful.

Touya only had a split second to think, I should have known he would take revenge, before he started coughing. The bowl of ramen, pushed by his flailing arms, slid to the side of the counter and crashed to the floor, spilling ramen and broth everywhere.

"Oh, shit!" Shindou exclaimed. His hands grabbed Touya's shoulders, pulling him back from the mess. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Did it spill on you?"

Touya was coughing so much that he felt as though he would choke, but he managed to say, "I-I'm f-fine."

Shindou finally started to thump him on the back, vigorously, and Touya was too out of breath to ask him to stop.

After a while, he realized that Shindou was now rubbing his back, murmuring nonsense words under his breath. "Shindou-san," he said finally. "I'm all right now."

The rubbing stopped. "Oh," Shindou said, though his hand remained on Touya's back. "Sorry," he said after a pause. "I didn't mean to make you choke. Are you sure that the ramen didn't scald you?"

Touya looked down at himself. His shirt was splattered with ramen broth, but he felt all right, and he said so.

Shindou frowned. "Your shirt is ruined," he said. "Come upstairs, I'll lend you one of mine."

***

Shindou lived in a small apartment above the ramen restaurant, he had told Touya, but Touya had not realized how small it really was. A small sitting room that no doubt doubled up as the bedroom, with shelves of books on either side of the walls, and a tiny window at the end. He stopped short at the sight of a Go board set out in the middle of the room. Their game was on it.

Shindou followed his gaze. "You've been searching for an opponent for a long time, Touya-san," he said.

"What?"

"It's tiring to play Go without a true opponent, isn't it?"

Touya turned to stare at him, his heart suddenly racing.

"I can read your Go too, you know," Shindou said. He finally smiled at Touya's expression. "Sit down," he pushed Touya towards the Go board.

"I didn't mean to offend you, that day," Touya said, wanting to get that out.

Shindou sat down as well. "I know." He looked at the Go board. "I came back that day, and I thought about the game the whole night through. You're right. I still haven't forgiven Sai for leaving, and that was why I decided to turn ramen chef."

"Shindou..."

"Not that I regret it, you know." Shindou smiled, his expression turning mischievous.

Touya felt himself turning red. "You don't?" he asked. He suddenly remembered Shindou's comment about their 'date' and blushed harder.

Shindou shook his head, and shifted nearer.

Touya could smell the sharp scent of Innoshima nori on him.

"After all," Shindou said, "I'd have never met you without it." He leaned forward and started to unbutton Touya's shirt.

-------The end---------

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