Title: Catching Fish
Author: Luce Red
Series: Tokyo Babylon/ X
Disclaimer: Characters are the property of CLAMP; chapter headings are from the
song "Let Me Die" by Nicholas Tse.
Spoilers: All of TB, possibly parts of X
Type: Non-explicit Seishirou/Subaru, implied violence and non-con.
Summary: Series of vignettes set in the years after TB and X
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You fit into me
Like hook into eye
A fish hook
An open eye
- Margaret Atwood
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I: Are we at war tonight
Seishirou ignored his protests, only reaching out and grabbing him fiercely. "You're mine, Subaru-kun. Don't ever forget that," he hissed into Subaru's ear before kicking his legs apart.
Subaru screamed till his throat was hoarse. In the midst of all the sounds of flesh against flesh, the heated breath against his skin and the smell of both their arousals, it seemed to him a huge joke that pain and humiliation could transmute into pleasure and acceptance. He never liked to admit it, but he needed Seishirou so strongly that it scared him. He didn’t know if Seishirou felt the same way. Certainly Seishirou desired him, and liked to manipulate him. His little toy, he liked to say. Someone to toy with, to hurt, to fuck. An amusing hobby. But was he more than that?
Beside him, Seishirou stirred, and Subaru froze as long fingers traced over his chest, and meandered to his throat.
"Maybe I should kill you now," Seishirou said leisurely, "Such a fine moment should be preserved in memory."
"Your memory, naturally," Subaru said coldly.
"Naturally," Seishirou echoed, the genial smile in his voice again. "Just think, I could save myself the trouble of bandaging this," he dug his fingernails into the blood-crusted wound on his shoulder.
Subaru clenched his teeth, but a hiss escaped his lips just the same.
"Oh, did that hurt?" Seishirou enquired. "I hadn't noticed." The bed dipped as he sat up, reaching towards the side table and to extract a cigarette from the pack on it. He lighted it, his eyes never leaving the wound, which had started to bleed again.
Subaru took a deep breath against the throbbing pain. "Those are my cigarettes, you bastard," he managed to say.
Seishirou removed the cigarette from his lips and stared at it for a moment. "So they are," he said with genuine surprise. "See what happens when you smoke the same brand as me, Subaru-kun?" He sighed with mock regret. "I suppose I could bandage that up for you. In recompense."
"You needn't go to the trouble."
"Ah, but it's no trouble," Seishirou said, leaning very close so that his smoke-warmed breath in Subaru's ear made him shiver.
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II: Will there be angels whispering to midnight
They stared at each other, across the prone body of the Sakurazukamori's newest victim, but also, it seemed to Subaru, across time. It was like the first time he met Seishirou, all those years ago.
Then Seishirou said mildly, "Should you be walking on that leg yet?"
"Shut up," Subaru said. "What do you care, anyway?"
"Why, Subaru-kun, I could have sworn you were mad at me for killing him," he nodded delicately at the body.
"It was an accident," Subaru gritted out. "There was a skid. You can't kill him for running me over!"
"Too late, I've done it." Before Subaru could speak, he continued, "and you should be resting. I wouldn't want my Subaru-kun to be crippled."
He earned only a furious glare from Subaru. "I'm not in the mood for your hypocrisy," he said, turning to limp away. But he had not judged his step well, and in the dark, he stumbled.
A warm hand propped him up, smelling of sakura and blood. "I said," Seishirou said with a sigh, "you should be resting. Come on, I'll help you back."
They walked on for some minutes before Seishirou spoke. "I didn't kill him for running you over."
Concentrating on placing his feet, Subaru only managed, "What do you mean?"
"I didn't kill him for running you over." A pause. "I killed him for running away."
Subaru clenched his teeth against the ache in his leg, and, it seemed, inside his chest. "Did you think I would be grateful to you?"
"I never think that."
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III: Don't wake when lightning strikes
Subaru considered his wardrobe as he pulled off his ruined coat. No more outfits of stretchy fabric, no outrageous costumes that caused eyebrows to be raised in public, no more hats. He had outgrown all that, he supposed; his wardrobe held mostly shirts and pants, a coat for the winter--all of the best quality, but plain and utilitarian all the same. Even if he still wanted to dress up as before, though, Subaru knew that he wouldn't fit into those costumes any more.
It was funny that his longed for growth spurt came only after Hokuto's death. In a way, it was creepy, as though Hokuto's death had freed him, loosing him into a newer existence. Though sometimes he felt so miserable and cold that it didn't seem possible that he was still alive. It made him think of the corpses under Seishirou's tree, which fed the tree. No, no, he was getting morbid.
It was true that Hokuto, for all her practical nature, lived in a candy-coated world where everyone would get along if only they followed her rules, where everything was possible, even dressing up like a Christmas angel in public, where. . . even a Sumeragi could fall in love with the Sakurazukamori.
He shook the disturbing thought from his head, and grabbed the side of the doorframe as the room whirled round him. When was the last time he had eaten? He had been so busy lately. . . when the dizziness faded, he stumbled to the kitchen, turning on the kettle, grabbing some instant noodles from the cupboard. It wasn't nutritious fare but it would have to do until he had the energy to order some groceries. Contrary to what others thought, he did try to take care of himself.
He lit a cigarette and smoked it while waiting for the kettle to boil, sitting at the counter, but before long the cigarette fell from senseless fingers as he dipped into tired doze.
When the kettle whistled, he jerked awake, noticing the pile of ashes on the counter, but the cigarette. . .
Seishirou was smoking his cigarette by the window.
Subaru stood up and almost fell down again on trembling legs. He held on to the counter for balance and glared. "What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice softer than he liked.
"I've been watching you," Seishirou said, walking foward to switch off the kettle, plunging the kitchen into silence. His amused voice sounded too loud, yet too far away, Subaru thought, and really not that amused. "Really, Subaru, what were you thinking of? Five jobs in three days? And a major summoning before that? Are you trying to set a world record of some sort?"
Subaru sat heavily back onto his seat. "So many questions, Seishirou," he said, feeling too drained to even argue with his enemy. His mind ran through the last exorcism that he'd felt compelled to do, despite the strain on him. The sorrow of that family was so strong, he felt as though he would break under it, and so, he laid to rest the spirits of their daughter and her lover.
Surprisingly tender fingers stroked, then massaged his neck. "Someday your compassion will be the death of you, Subaru," Seishirou said from behind him.
"I thought that was you," Subaru said drowsily.
He heard a chuckle, then the fingers left him. He watched as Seishirou went to the cooking range, doing something he couldn't see, and before long his eyelids slid shut again.
The smell of sakura made his senses leap and he opened his eyes, this time remembering to hold on to the counter as the room whirled again. He looked around carefully. The kitchen was empty. The counter wasn't.
Right in front of him was a simple home-cooked meal: rice and vegetables, with some soup. He stared at it for several minutes before his stomach growled, reminding him of the numerous missed meals in the last few days.
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IV: My heart for you is true/ Let no one take that from you
They stared at each other. Then both of them spoke simultaneously.
"You're a Dragon?!"
"You're a Seal?!"
Surprisingly, Subaru recovered first. "You don't have to sound so surprised," he said. "The Sumeragi have been protecting Japan for centuries. It stands to reason that they. . . we would be involved in the Final Day."
"And as traditional rivals, wouldn't the Sakurazukamori be involved as well?" Seishirou asked. He had not missed Subaru's little slip of "they".
Subaru glared. "At least I don't want the world to end."
"What makes you think I do?" Seishirou said. "After all, the end of humanity means no more humans to kill, no more souls for my tree to feed on, and most importantly of all," he smiled his non-smile, "no Subaru-kun for me to play with."
Instead of getting angry, Subaru matched him smile for smile. "Why, Seishirou, you almost sound as though you would miss me," he whispered.
Seishirou's smile froze.
Opps. That tiny bubble of sound hovered in Subaru's mind, and he watched Seishirou warily, wondering how the Sakurazukamori was going to react.
It seemed that they got on well only if they could negotiate the path between love, hatred and indifference. It was like a sea. I could swim, Subaru though, but I might sink.
Without warning, Seishirou walked rapidly towards him, taking his hands before Subaru could protest. "You're my possession, nothing more," he said, his face close to Subaru's. His blind eye seemed to trap Subaru in place, freezing his feet.
Subaru looked away, and tried to snatch his hands back. Seishirou merely leaned down, and press his lips to the back of the right hand in a parody of the branding that had occurred years ago. The inverted star glowed softly alight, like embers deep in a fire.
Subaru made an odd sound of pain, his face growing pale.
Seishirou watched, entranced, as the emerald green eyes seemed to deepen in colour, as if it were possible for those jewel-like irises to be any greener. Subaru's lips pressed themselves together, as if to quell any further sounds, then relaxed involuntarily as he gasped for breath.
He could never get tired of watching Subaru when he was like this, Seishirou decided. Every breath, every feature and every cell in his prey seemed to fill with pain, but it was pain that refused to express itself in any outward gestures, and instead, trembled within so violently that Seishirou sometimes thought his Subaru might just dissolve into nothing. He blew on the trapped, now feverish hand lightly, as though coaxing a campfire, and the lines of the inverted star flared a little more. Subaru stiffened a little more too, his breath now coming in thin spurts, his hair darkening with sweat.
It wasn't just physical pain, Seishirou mused. The Sakurazukamori brand was such that deep inside Subaru's mind, his soul, the stars burned, a sign that he would never be free. The hand was now limp in his grasp, as Subaru's eyes darkened into a rich, forest green. Soon the blood vessels in his eyes would burst. . .
Enough.
He pulled a little of his energy back, putting a stop to the burning stars.
Subaru collapsed like a marionette whose strings had been cut, with a sigh of muffled sound at his feet.
Unheeding, Seishirou leaned down and dragged his prey to his feet. "Come on, my car's just nearby," he said, easily supporting Subaru and taking him away.
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V: So I'll close my eyes and dream a little
Nothing in my job description covered this, Subaru thought wryly as he hunkered down behind a park bench. Clan head, onmyouji to troubled spirits, spiritual protector of Japan, avenger of sister's murder, yes. Trailing a suspected conman, no. Besides, he was getting far too near to Ueno Park for his comfort.
Speak of the devil. . .
"Subaru-kun, what a surprise it is to see you here!"
"Get lost."
"For a moment I thought you were coming to visit me. But it seems that you're more interested in him."
"I'm working," Subaru growled, then grabbed Seishirou's arm and dragged him down beside him. "He's looking this way!"
Seishirou at least had the sense to keep from struggling, once he realised it wasn't an attack, and waited while Subaru peeped over the edge of the bench.
"He's turned around," Seishirou observed, also peering over at the scruffily dressed man. "And not that I mind, Subaru-kun, but could you move your elbow slightly?"
Upon realising that he was slumped all over Seishirou, Subaru turned red. He removed his elbow, and his person, from the vicinity of Seishirou's midsection with a muttered "Sorry."
"You're welcome. And what, exactly, is the nature of this new job? I don't think I've ever seen you sneaking after strange men before."
Seishirou sounded as calm as though he were discussing the weather, but Subaru could detect the note of curiosity in his voice. He was tempted to refuse curtly.
"Shh. He's walking this way," Seishirou said before he could speak.
But no. The man was heading in their direction but a car pulled up before him. The man got into it. Subaru and Seishirou watched as the car drove off.
"Give chase?" Seishirou asked, but Subaru was already pulling out an ofuda and chanting under his breath. They watched as the ofuda dissolved into a shadowy looking sparrow, which took off after the car with all due haste.
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VI: It's time to say farewell now
"Are you going to tell me?" Seishirou asked.
They were at a cafe nearby, sitting outside so that Subaru could check on his shikigami.
Subaru shrugged. "If he ends up dead, I'll know who to look for," he said, giving Seishirou a warning look.
The assassin responded with his most innocent expression.
Subaru tried not to roll his eyes as he sat back, considering how to begin. "His name is Itou Takeshi. He's a professional conman. He specialises in young women. First he promises to marry them, then he invents a family emergency, or wedding expenses, and persuades the woman to lend him a big sum of money. Then he disappears."
"Ah. And what does this steller citizen has to do with your job?"
"Two months ago, he was the fiancé of Aramoto Sumika. He was also the last person to see her before she disappeared."
"Isn't that a job for the police?"
"They arrested him, but they had to release him due to lack of evidence."
"Subaru-kun," Seishirou reached out to touch his hand, snatching at it with surprising suddenness when it looked like the Sumeragi was about to withdraw. "Do not attempt to be dense," he said, squeezing the pale hand, feeling the bones tighten in his grasp. "I said, isn't that a job for the police?"
What looked like a flinch of pain passed through Subaru's face, but he answered in the same steady voice. "He and Aramoto-san were members of the New Saviour Church. He told her that he was one of the branch leaders."
Seishirou paused. That was interesting. The New Saviour Church was one of the many cults setting up house in Japan in anticipation of the millennium. Most of the cults profited from the millennium anxiety of the insecure, but the New Saviour Church was one of the fastest growing ones, and had the potential to be a growing problem for the society and the government. Needless to say, it would concern the Sakurazukamori, too.
"Aramoto-san is one of those individuals who have minor psychic powers, and I think Itou-san wanted to make use of her talents."
"Does he know where Aramoto-san is, then?" Seishirou asked coolly. He did loosen Subaru's hand, but did not release it, choosing only to trace the inverted star on the back of the hand idly.
"Yes."
"Are you sure?"
Subaru gave him a look. "Are you questioning my professional judgment?" he asked.
"I wouldn't dare."
Subaru pulled his hand back in some exasperation, rubbing at the freshly blossoming bruises. "I don't want to alert the church members. But I need to find Aramoto-san soon."
"All right, then, let's go," he threw some bills on the table as payment for the coffee and stood up.
"Wait a minute, why are you coming along?" Subaru had stood up, and crossed his arms over his chest.
Seishirou put on an innocent look. "Assisting in my Subaru's work is what a devoted boyfriend does best, isn't it?"
Subaru glared and kicked his shins as impartially as one would kick a wall. Then he stalked away, ignoring Seishirou.
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VII: I will love you till the end of time
I don't understand it anymore. It used to be uncomplicated. You acted like a jerk, you killed my sister, so naturally, we became enemies. Sure, there were all those complications, such as my crush on you, our clans' ancient enmity, your fascination with me. But the point was, it was simple. I tried to kill you, and you tried to stop me, either by physical force, more magic, or emotional blackmail.
So how did this happen between us? No matter what my hormones thought, I wasn't looking for a relationship. Sex, maybe. And certainly not some kind of sick see-sawing relationship like the one we have.
Don't give me that crap about the fact that you're the Sakurazukamori. I don't know any other killers--if you leave out the immature lot of Angels and Seals we know--who are as perverted as you are. And in my line of work, I've met more than a few. Oh, you think you're the only murderer I know? I'll have you know that except for their choice of profession, most assassins are basically decent, non-interfering citizens. It's rather difficult to survive otherwise. Most assassins don't find it necessary to spy on their victim (don't say 'prey', you know that pisses me off), follow them around and sexually harass them.
I'm no longer keeping score of who has done what to whom. The sex is a great equalizer. Still, I have the niggling feeling that if I get to inflict a horrible case of food poisoning on you, beat you at our next fight, and break your arm, we may be even.
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VIII: Every breath of mine/ I'll hold you by my side
Seishirou was having difficulty tracking his prey. Oh, he knew roughly where Subaru was; his marks told him that. However, he was unable to get more than a vague sense of what Subaru was doing. In the middle of some onmyoujitsu, yes, but what exactly?
His curiosity roused, he decided to pay a little visit. After all, he hadn't seen his Subaru for more than a month.
He arrived at the little shrine shortly, choosing with his customary caution to remain concealed while he deduced the happenings.
"How did you get yourself into this, Subaru?" he whispered as he watched, though there was no one else around except himself and Subaru. The shrine was one of many that dotted the outskirts of Tokyo, ordinary and plain. Once it was crowded with devotees, but the area had become deserted as families in the neighbourhood moved away, attracted by the metropolis that was Tokyo. As time passed, the shrine had become run-down, the few attendants becoming too old to do their jobs properly.
From the presence of the construction vehicles near the entrance, Seishirou realised what had happened. Like many other old structures, the shrine was slated for demolishment, since the land it stood on was worth a goldmine. After all, even in the recession, property prices in Tokyo remained staggeringly high. It stood to reason that some developer would be interested. However, it seemed that the demolishment had hit a few snags.
Seishirou smiled, purely from the viewpoint of an onmyouji. Shrines such as these had been used as depositories for bound spirits and demons, long before industrialization had come to Japan. After all, it used to be that shrine attendants, including monks, even those with only minor talents at onmyoujitsu, oversaw the spiritual health of entire villages by exorcising restless ghosts, capturing malignant spirits and other "unclean things" and placing them in the shrine, on sacred ground, away from the people. After hundreds of years, the number of "unclean things", even in a simple shrine like this, would be considerable. The demolishment had disturbed the spirits, even released them. And that was probably what they had called Subaru in for.
He watched with professional appreciation as Subaru performed the ceremony that would re-bind the spirits, this time within a model wooden shrine no more than one feet in height, a perfect replica of original. Subaru was in his ceremonial robes, deep in the spell, his face blank with concentration. Even from a distance, Seishirou could sense the enormous power Subaru possessed, power that Subaru had seldom used against him. At the core of his prey was a deep, shining core of energy that could probably level half of Tokyo, if he wished. He was not the thirteenth head of the Sumeragi clan for nothing, after all.
The ruins of the shrine rumbled--the work of one of the spirits, trying to get free. Subaru concentrated, his hands raising in an authoritative gesture over the shrine grounds. He held that position as he tried to force the spirit down.
Seishirou watched intently. It was not going to be easy for Subaru to bind all of the spirits without at least some of them breaking loose, even if the area was warded.
The clattering of the ruins increased, and Subaru threw a piece of ofuda, then made the same gesture, though this time the strain on his face was visible.
Seishirou would have been contented to continue watching, until Subaru said, without turning, "I wouldn't mind some help, Seishirou-san."
"But you were doing so well on your own, Subaru-kun" he said, making his way into the warded area, keeping a close eye on the binding.
Subaru only called, "Catch," then a ravaging water spirit, teeth bared, was flying towards him.
Seishirou didn't have time to summon his shikigami, but he managed to call up the killing sakura, tearing the spirit apart before allowing the pieces to fall into the prepared container.
"Why, Subaru-kun, for a moment I thought you wanted to kill me," he said, putting a note of astonishment into his voice.
"I knew you could deal with it," Subaru said calmly. Evidently he dealt with the demon that had been animating the ruins of the shrine, for he raised his head briefly to regard Seishirou with deep green eyes.
Seishirou grinned, and reached out to ruffle his hair. His Subaru-kun would never deliberately set the spirits on him, not even to kill him. It wasn't Subaru's way. Probably...
Subaru shook his head free, and turned his attention back to his task. Seishirou watched. Every now and then, a spirit or a demon, thinking that he was just an onlooker, tried to attack him, only to be repelled him his skikigami, and sent into the shrine-shaped container. The binding took time, and it was surprisingly soothing. Perhaps only another onmyouji could understand this, he thought, but there wouldn't be another onmyouji in Japan who would be in control of the situation like Subaru. And myself.
It was nearly dusk. Seishirou could see that only a few recalcitrant demons remained, floating out of Subaru's direct range. Seishirou smiled at his Subaru-kun, preparing to send his eagle shikigami after them.
He was stopped by Subaru speaking. "It's okay, Seishirou-san. I can take care of it," Subaru said before raising his hands in a warding gesture, coupled with a muttered spell.
And before Seishirou's eyes, the boundary enclosed by the wards began to shrink. The ofuda marking the wards didn't move, but the warded area itself shifted before his astonished eyes, and the demons, fenced in by the wards, were dragged slowly before Subaru. The warded area steady shrunk to about two feet, and the demons raised their clawed limbs, ready to lash out at Subaru. But Subaru had already raised a shield, and was able to capture the demons from behind it, binding them into the container. The shield vanished, and a moment later, so did the wards.
Seishirou applauded. "Very impressive, Subaru-kun. You've managed to surprise me again," he admitted.
At the unexpected compliment, Subaru blushed deep red. For a moment Seishirou thought he might stutter, but the Sumeragi only said, "I didn't do it to surprise you." A moment later, he said, "You really think it's good?"
The honest curiosity in his voice made Seishirou smile. One thing about Subaru-kun, he would never be arrogant about his onmyoujitsu. He was feeling indulgent, so he decided to be frank. "I wouldn't lie about that," he said.
The words made Subaru smile. "I never know if I should trust you, Seishirou-san," he said, shaking his head as he bent down to examine the model shrine.
"Where are you sending that?" Seishirou asked.
"Mt. Sorak, as the shrine's attendants come from there." He stuck an ofuda on it, muttered a final sealing spell, and picked the model up firmly.
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IX: My sweetheart would you/ Let me die in your arms with you
Subaru's mouth was sweet, warm. Seishirou allowed himself to enjoy the kiss for a few minutes, then placed his hands on Subaru's shoulders and separated them. He eyed Subaru.
"Not that I don't enjoy it," he said, "but what brought that on?"
Subaru looked confused, then embarrassed, then rueful. "Sorry, Seishirou-san," he said, "I just suddenly felt like it." He looked down, a blush appearing on him.
Seishirou wondered at the apology--when was the last time Subaru had done that?--and was about to ask Subaru if anything was wrong when there was a gurgle from Subaru. He looked more closely; Subaru was still staring at his shoes, but there it was, again. Definitely a gurgle. Was Subaru. . .
A louder burst of laughter came from Subaru. Evidently he couldn't hold it in any longer.
Seishirou folded his arms and waited as Subaru laughed. He had no idea what was going on, but damn if he was going to be laughed at. If he was being laughed at.
Finally Subaru wound down, all the tension and embarrassment vanishing from him. "Sorry, Seishirou," he said. "I was just thinking. . ."
Seishirou reached out and held Subaru's chin firmly, staring at his eyes. "What were you thinking about?" he asked.
Subaru's cheeks pinked at their closeness, though he chuckled again, pulling free of Seishirou's grasp and to his surprise, leant against him. Against his shoulder, Subaru said, "I was just thinking. . . that I was about to use you for sex."
Taken aback, Seishirou could only utter a very undignified "What?"
Another chuckle against his shoulder, and Subaru's breath tickled his neck. "I was informed of the job more than a week ago," he referred to the binding of the spirits at the old shrine. "It was a major job. I had to build the container. I had to go through the purification ritual. For the last seven days, I meditated, prayed, fasted, and," he leaned up to whisper in Seishirou's ear, "didn't think of sex."
Seishirou was dumbfounded for a second, then his arms came up to hold Subaru. "So now you're frustrated," he said.
"Actually I didn't have time to think about it this last week," Subaru admitted. "Until I was doing the binding, and you arrived, and I realised. . ."
"That you haven't been getting any?" he teased.
Subaru raised his head to look at him, embarrassment and annoyance combined. He gave Seishirou a firm punch on the arm. "Stop that. Do you know how difficult it is to think celibate thoughts for seven days running?"
"I'm amazed you could do it for more than seven hours," Seishirou said wryly. Though in fact he wasn't surprised. A disciplined onmyouji like Subaru naturally had extraordinary control over his mind and body. A purification process like what he did was very difficult, but not impossible. Subaru really had a very strong will; he only faltered when he met Seishirou, and even that did not happen all the time. What surprised him this time, though, was Subaru's frank admission that he wanted Seishirou sexually. Sometimes it seemed beyond Subaru to even admit that he had a sexual thought in his life.
He reached out a hand to stroke Subaru's hair. "In that case," he said as casually as he could, "would you like to come to my place?"
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X: Only you can stop the rain tonight
Seishirou, as usual, was smoking.
Oh, great, Subaru thought, shivering in the winter air as he caught sight of his enemy. I don't need this, I'm too exhausted and heart-sick to play 'you know I know you know' games.
He had returned from Kyoto that evening, after a grueling week in his hometown. A little matter of a dispute in the clan, that turned out to be a big matter concerning the placement of ancestral graves, and had resulted in the exhumation of two gravesites on the Sumeragi cemetery and the re-burial of the remains at an another, appropriate site, still on Sumeragi land. He had personally overseen, and attended the matters. All because I'm the clan head. Gee, what a treat for me.
Oh. I'm babbling.
Desperate to avoid his grandmother's interrogation about the Sakurazukamori, his job, and his life as a whole, he'd taken the earliest train back to Tokyo as soon as matters were settled, not even bothering to pack. Naturally, he ran smack into Seishirou outside the station. The gods favour me, all right.
He felt his pockets for his ofuda, his mind running through the last time he'd seen Seishirou, in that basement where he had done his best to kill Subaru. You put me through hell, he thought. It was a month before I could even function normally. Even so, he couldn't help the images that welled up in his mind, of himself, naked and helpless, cringing before Seishirou's violence. He opened his mouth to say something about how Seishirou killed Hokuto, and how Subaru was going to kill him, except all that came out of his mouth was "You!" before his left brain kicked in and his arm automatically threw the ofuda.
Great, I can't even threaten him properly.
He watched as Seishirou managed to dodge the attack, and before he could do anything else, a blast from Seishirou sent him sprawling to the ground. He got to his feet, noting that Seishirou didn't seem like he was about to attack again.
Good, I need to catch my breath, anyway. After a few moments, he raised his head to study Seishirou warily.
Seishirou's expression showed nothing except amusement, and even that was abstracted, as though in reaction to a joke heard on television. He dropped the cigarette he was smoking and ground it beneath a heel.
Subaru's eyes riveted on that ruined mess of paper and tobacco, torn between fear and anger. He was not going to be intimidated by this man. . . this murderer again. Not even if his heart still twisted at the sight of the man who had lied to him, tortured him, violated him. . . and had meant more to him than anybody else--except his sister--in the world. I need a cigarette.
Finally Seishirou stood in front of him and spoke. "Really, Subaru-kun. You can't kill me, you can't even fight me. What possible reason could there be for you to remain on this earth?"
"Kill me, then," Subaru said, his voice cracked and dry. Maybe he'll let me have a smoke before I die.
"On second thought," Seishirou went on, as though he hadn't heard, "you do have one use. In my bed."
Pain blossomed in his heart at the remark, and he clutched at his chest, seeing the memories of that night through a red haze. Seishirou, I won't be baited like this!
"Hm, maybe not," Seishirou said, still in that careless tone. "All skin and bones these days. Not that attractive, are you?" He reached out to touch Subaru's face, brushing aside the scarf around his neck, "I'm afraid, Subaru-kun," he said in a conversational tone, "you may not even be tempting enough to fuck."
Startled, he jerked away from Seishirou's side, not realising that his scarf was still in the Sakurazukamori's hands. The gray scrap of wool unraveled from his neck.
There was a pause on both sides. A gust of cold wind blew, and Subaru tried to pull up the collar of his coat for warmth. Despite the presence of his enemy, he had to suppress a whimper. I hate the cold. I really do.
He heard an exasperated sound from Seishirou. "Oh, for god's sake, Subaru," Seishirou said, and before Subaru could move away, Seishirou was there, re-wrapping the scarf round him. It was still warm from his hands. "It seems that you can't even take care of yourself. Your lips are blue, do you know that?"
He felt a heavy weight settle on his shoulders, and belatedly realised that it was Seishirou's coat, and Seishirou was arranging the coat around him, tucking it securely round him. It was surprisingly comfortable.
For a cold-blooded killer, he's warm. . .
Seishirou paused in surprise and not a little alarm when the younger onmyouji slumped against him in a dead faint.
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XI: Only you can change my world from black to white
"What?" Subaru asked, "Did I hear what I thought I just heard?"
"I said, 'let's go out for lunch sometime'," Seishirou said. His tone was anything but welcoming and the expression on his face warned Subaru not to push it.
"Uh. . . sure. When?"
"Now," he grabbed Subaru by the elbow and dragged him along, heedless of his protests.
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XII: You're the only reason/ That I'm growing cold
Subaru glared at his nemesis, who was waiting for him outside the office building. "Go ahead and laugh, you bastard," he said.
"Come now, Subaru-kun, where’s your sense of humour?" Seishirou appeared to be enjoying himself. "I thought for a moment that blush was going to be permanent."
The reminder made Subaru blush again, and he glared even more fiercely. He directed one of his shikigami at Seishirou, who ducked it with ease. But at least the sight of Seishirou having to hunker down beside a dustbin to avoid the dove made him feel better.
He ignored Seishirou and walked down the pavement determinedly, trying not to remember what had happened inside the editorial office of Bondage.
He was there on a minor matter of a possessed pendent. After exorcising the spirit in it, he had delivered it personally to a Mr. Kiyoshi, the layout artist of the magazine. Mr. Kiyoshi had kept staring at him, until Subaru finally asked him what the matter was. In answer, Mr. Kiyoshi had opened the newest issue of the magazine.
Subaru nearly had a heart attack at the sight of himself sprawled all over the centerfold. He was dressed, thankfully, but in a white silk shirt that might have belonged to Seishirou (and probably did). It was large enough for him to reveal a bare shoulder and thin enough that his nipples were visible. The photograph showed him lying on a bed with black satin sheets, his groin only just covered by the sheets. His legs were white-bare, and his eyes were closed.
Upon flipping the pages, Subaru discovered that the whole thing was part of their special report on "Sadistic lovers rate their partners!"
He was so embarrassed that he was sure that the earth had long swallowed him up, and that he was operating in an alternate dimension. How else could Subaru explain getting out of that office without dying from a brain seizure from all that blushing?
"Subaru-kun, don't be so touchy."
Seishirou was standing right in front of him. Subaru paused, then punched him in the stomach. There was a grunt of pain from the Sakurazukamori. "That's for sending in my photo without my permission," he said, then raised a foot and stamped firmly on Seishirou's foot. He knew better than to try to knee-groin Seishirou; it would just piss the assassin off. "And that's for taking my photograph without permission," he said as he stalked off.
"Does this mean you'll be at home tonight?" Seishirou called after him.
"Come near me and I'll kill you, Seishirou," Subaru said without missing a beat.
It only upset Subaru a little when he came home to find that his wards had been meddled with. After all, he knew of only two other people in Japan who could have done so. His grandmother was in Kyoto. That left. . . he readied his ofuda and attacked the moment he entered the living room.
Just as well he had done so, for the glowing shikigami flew smack into a magical trap that he belatedly realised was designed to knock him unconscious. The shikigami broke through the trap easily, and went for the trap's owner. Sakura petals flew as Seishirou dodged the attacking shikigami, and launched an attack with his own shikigami.
Instantly, Subaru raised a shield that held the eagle-shaped shikigami back easily.
Seishirou raised an eyebrow at him. Gathering his energy, Subaru concentrated on his shield, watching with narrowed eyes as one end of it formed a sharp edge and stabbed at the shikigami, which flew back to Seishirou.
Seishirou raised a hand to stroke the bird sitting on his shoulder. "Subaru, you've become so aggressive. I like it," he said.
"Drop dead."
"I wonder, does that attitude follow you to the bedroom?" he mused, watching Subaru with his good eye. "Shall we find out?" he took a step towards Subaru.
Subaru took a step back, then cursed himself as Seishirou's eyes lighted up in satisfaction.
"You know you want it," Seishirou said, approaching swiftly so that he was standing in front of the younger man.
"I don't," Subaru said, turning his face to one side.
"Of course you do," Seishirou said, "and you beg very prettily for it too." He took Subaru's face in both hands. "My beautiful toy."
Subaru's eyes narrowed to dark green points as he tried to struggle free. "I'm not your toy!" he said.
"Yes, you are," Seishirou said before kissing him fiercely.
He finally released the younger onmyouji after a long while, noting that Subaru was literally gasping for breath, his eyes clouded with desire and his lips bruised. Satisfied, he shook Subaru, his fingers closing in viciously over the smooth skin at his prey's throat. "Mine," he said. "Say it!"
"No. . ." Subaru's voice was soft and dazed, but the negative was firm for all that.
Seishirou's eyes narrowed. "My little toy, you're asking for it," he warned.
"Not. . . your toy," Subaru said, coming to his senses a little. "Your enemy," he said, renewing his struggles.
Seishirou backhanded him casually to the floor.
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XIII: What will I do/ Without you
The Sakurazukamori's latest victim wasn't feeling docile. Or scared.
No kidding. That must be why he's trying to slice you into sashimi, the voice in his head said. It had a distinctly snide tone.
Seishirou had no time to answer as he flattened himself against a wall, hearing the sharp edge whisk by his ears.
He thought it was just another routine job. Another politician who'd began demanding more bribes by threatening to reveal classified documents to the public. Hamada Yasuko, however, was determined not to go without a fight.
Right now, Seishirou was dodging too quickly to use any of his onmyoujitsu effectively. He wondered if he should come back another time and finish the job more subtly. Then he wondered if he could come back, as the desperate Hamada lunged at him at a dead run. There was no other way to run; he was trapped.
Before his life could start flashing before his eyes, someone barrelled directly into him, knocking him off his feet. The sword made a swipe over his head, hissing through empty air.
"Don't move, Seishirou-san!" The shouted instructions seemed to come from nowhere.
And then he was watching as Subaru faced Hamada with a sword. That's right, his harried brain reminded him. Seishirou knew that most clan heads in Japan had martial arts training from young, even in this century. And while Subaru never used it in his life, he could, in theory, face an opponent in a real fight. As he was doing now.
After Subaru managed to counter Hamada's attacks for the third time, the man stopped short, his face pale with effort and panic. "Who are you? Why are you helping him?"
At the implied accusation, Subaru flinched. "I. . ." his hold on the sword wavered. "I wasn't. . ."
Seishirou noticed it first. "Subaru, watch out!"
And Subaru brought up the sword in time to deflect another hit, but not before taking a slash to his arm. Blood dripped onto the wooden floor. But Subaru recovered immediately. At the next pass, he managed to hit Hamada with the flat of his sword and in a surprising show of non-sportsmanship, kicked the wounded man. Hamada flew across the room, stunned.
Seishirou's lips thinned dangerously. Maybe he didn't have to come back after all. He reached for his ofuda. . .
"Let's go, Seishirou," Subaru tugged at his arm.
"But I. . ." he hesitated.
"Move, Seishirou."
To his astonishment, he allowed Subaru to take him out of the building.
"You're not going to start interfering in my job because you saved me, are you, Subaru?" he asked, when they were outside.
Subaru sighed. "If only I could, Seishirou," he said.
Seisirou wondered if Subaru realized that he had been calling him 'Seishirou'. "Is this because you want to kill me yourself?"
The expression on Subaru's face would have been laughable at any other moment. He was so perfectly horrified. He watched as Subaru stared blankly at the ground.
"Yes." Subaru's voice was husky. "That's it, exactly."
"Ah." He lighted a cigarette. "I'll tell you a secret, then." He sensed, rather than saw, Subaru turning to him. "I can be killed only by the person who loves me."
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XIV: Till the sky is burning
"Of course the Sumeragi can kill." Subaru regarded Kamui with well-hidden exasperation. "What makes you think we can't?"
"But. . . you seem to hate the Sakurazukamori so much. . . I thought it's because he kills people, and you don't."
Subaru let his head thud on the back of the couch. Kamui was cute and had a crush on him and was his 'Kamui', but he was a total novice in some matters. "I hate the Sakurazukamori for very different reasons, not least because he killed my sister," he said finally.
"But. . ." Kamui seemed to be working it through. "You can kill?"
He didn't like admitting it. "Yes."
The furrow in Kamui's brow grew deeper. "But. . ."
Subaru hid a sigh of frustration. "Why do you think I'm hunting Sei. . . the Sakurazukamori? I want to kill him, not sell him insurance," he said fiercely.
Beside him, Kamui gave a gasp.
He continued as if he hadn't noticed. "And the Sumeragi can kill, if only in self-defense," he said, thinking of the admittedly rare times when the Sumeragi had spilt blood. "There're also occasions when it is necessary to protect the greater good." He thought of one of his more gruesome jobs, when a greedy onmyouji had tried to bottle the life essence of children to sell, touting it as a youth tonic. He had been forced to kill the bastard to rescue the kids. One of the times he could have really used Seishirou's help, he thought. I really have to stop thinking of him as my pet executioner, he told himself.
Kamui was still frowning when Subaru came out of his thoughts. "I heard that the Sumeragi clan has been protecting Japan for hundreds of years," he said, looking at Subaru for further confirmation.
Subaru nodded. "And sometimes you can't protect something unless you're willing to fight, and willing to kill for it." He met Kamui's eyes directly, observing his pale face and puzzled eyes. I can't take much more of this. He took Kamui's hands, ignoring the boy's gasp of surprise. "Kamui, I can protect you, true, and I try not to hurt anyone while doing so. But I'm also an onmyouji. I'm not a nice person. Sometimes I have to do things that I don't like, but I cannot, for example, let a demon go free simply because I felt sorry for it. Do you understand?"
"Y-yes," Kamui said, flushing.
He managed a smile for the boy, and released his hands. "I have to go out for a while," he told Kamui. "You stay here, okay?"
Without waiting for an answer, Subaru gathered his coat from the chair and left.
It was chilly outside. He paused only to lit a cigarette.
"I remember when you had to kill that old magician. You cried for days," Seishirou said, from his customary perch on the rooftop.
"He was old and senile," Subaru said. "He thought that the neighbours had killed his wife, because he refused to accept that he was the one who had accidentally killed her." His heart wrenched at the memory. "I had no choice when he started to hurt the neighbours."
"People do evil because they’re lonely, hm, Subaru?"
Subaru glared at him. "He felt guilty. Not that someone like you would understand," he said.
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XV: It's the end of time
Subaru sat up, panting from his last nightmare. There was a ripple of feeling at the edges of his senses. He took a deep breath. It wasn’t the nightmare that woke him; it hadn’t proceeded far enough. Subaru knew his own nightmares well. He stumbled from the bed, groping for his clothes.
Someone pressed a robe into his arms.
He sucked in cold air. "Seishirou..."
The assassin appeared from the shadows. "It appears our interlude is over, Subaru."
"Will..." he hesitated. "Will I ever get a chance to kill you again?"
Soft, mocking laughter made the room suddenly seemed much colder. "Why should you doubt it, my Subaru?" Seishirou asked. "We've always been on opposite sides, and it hasn't stopped us from trying yet."
"But I..."
Seishirou's fingers pressed to his lips. "I'll see you soon, Subaru."
And he was gone.
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Luce (redacanthus@yahoo.com)