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Unknown Happiness
"Your coffee, sir." He jerked upon hearing her soft voice and hurriedly he pulled away the blue paper he'd been holding. His strange gesture made the young waitress frowned a bit, curious at why he would act so secretively. Yet, she was not supposed to meddle with customers' business so she wisely returned to her place behind the counter. Who was she trying to fool though; he was not some one that she could ignore just like that. She had been watching over him since the first day he came to the coffee house. He had caught her attention all the time as she was wondering what was his purpose sitting at that particular table everyday, while watching outside the window intensely. His routine was just the same everyday. Just like today. The rain made it more special than the other days. The rhythmic sound of the raindrops greeting the windows was more like a beautiful hum, giving the atmosphere a peaceful breath. She believed he felt the same too, by the look of his dreamy eyes. She had been observing him all these times. His mysterious behavior tickled her mind so much that she determined to explore his life. And she did quite excessively that suddenly she felt like clinging to him. Yet, they had never talk to each other, except for the common greetings such as "Welcome" and "Please come again." And again, she observed him as he placed his gaze onto the precious blue paper. His eyes were still dreamy but there's also a glimpse of sadness. What was the thing that bothered him? Or could it be... someone? What was this unknown rampage she felt in her chest? Suddenly he lifted up his face and for a brief moment, their eyes met. She turned away as she felt her face warming. She had been watching over him yesterday. And she did again today. And for the days to come, she would always keep her eyes on him, because now he was more than just passer-by for her.
And again he came, sitting at that particular spot looking deeply toward outside the window. If only she were the one he had in his thought. If only she could walk to him and tell him she would be the one to caress him into deep slumber at night. If only she could ask him if he would be the one who would protect her from the world. Her heart cried every time she saw his eyes in unknown sorrow. Why was he sad? Perhaps there was a promise to be fulfilled? Maybe, indeed, there was a girl and he still waiting for her faithfully. She already reserved her loathe for that person. How could anyone let his sorrow grew deeper gradually everyday? How she wished to get a chance to smile at him. And just right at that moment, suddenly their eyes met again. This time, she forced herself to bear the warming cheek and smiled. It was unexplainable pleasure to see him smiling back.
The blue paper. It could be a letter. He left his things behind today. He never had forgotten his things before. He must be exhausted of waiting for the mysterious lady the whole time. The more she thought of that unknown person, the more her hate grew. Her hand trembled as she slowly slipped out the blue paper from the black organizer. This was the paper he greatly treasured. Just a look would not damage it, right? And it was the greatest regret she ever felt. The words written in the paper just confirmed her suspicion, and because of that, suddenly she found it hard to breathe. His words of longing clearly expressed his feeling for that person. Now, she understood his joy, his love, and his misery. She understood it well enough that she was mad. Mad because he was in great pain longing for someone who didn't bother to care about him. She understood then. She was chasing an unreachable shadow.
Another drop fell and she wiped it unconsciously. She kept her distance away from the crowd, because that was what she always been doing. Watching him from afar. Even until this moment, she would just watch from afar. Farewell, my love. Since the day she found the truth, she quit working at that place. She wanted to keep her distance, as she understood how deep his love was. She was afraid that her own courage would somehow, someday, bring her to him but his unrequited love was sincere. She should not bother him. So she watched him from afar, and she saw life escaping from him gradually. He became skinnier day by day, and even on the very first place he was already thin. Was he suffering that much because of that person? "My... It's you." Maybe her distant was not far enough. This lady had seen her, and spoken to her. She knew this lady - the other one who loved the man dearly - his sister. But why did she hear recognition in this lady's tone just now? "Please, come with me." The room was bright, yet gloomy. This was the place he spent his last days. The lady just now led her to this room and left her alone without explanation, except telling her to look for the box on the table. And the moment her hands lifted the cover revealing the content, she felt her legs became numb. She sat in despair as her hands caressed the photos inside the box. They are photos of her, looking bright and happy. She didn't recall taking those pictures though, must had been taken in secrecy. And beneath them, that blue paper. Even though she read them before, her longing for him made her read it again. She saw another few lines scribbled at the bottom.
And at the very bottom, her name was scribbled down. inspiration: || click here to go BACK TO FRONT PAGE || |