Previously I bitched about famous people in the entertainment biz in my Bio section. However, I’ve decided not to waste precious space on those over-hyped bozos that we’re forced to endure. So I created a section where I bark about all the famous idiots that get on my nerves…you know, kinda like those two old men hecklers from “The Muppet Show.” Oh you must remember them, they always hung out in the balcony, dissing everyone usually at the end of the show… heh heh heh (those two rocked.)
It's not that I'm anti-pop culture. As a matter of fact, I embrace pop culture. I tend to see the comedy and irony of such. However, sometimes enough is enough.
Seriously, I hardly watch television anymore. Such crap they broadcast nowadays. Come to think of it, they always broadcasted crappola. As I’m typing this in the year of 2002, the most popular shows are “American Idol”, “Survivor”, “The Sopranos”…unrealistic poop like “Friends”…then we gotta suffer with mind numbing nonsense like MTV’s “TRL”…
I can’t believe that people just get so sucked into this shit. “American Idol” can just go and suck my ass. People are like sheep, I swear. Hand over anything to the general public and they think it’s the greatest thing since sliced cheese. Then again, I’m beginning to get the impression that most people lack imagination for the most part. Sheeeeeeeeit…give me “South Park” or “The Simpsons” any day. Yeah they may be cartoons, but at least it’s more realistic on how people really do function on an everyday basis. Not this sugary decay that passes for entertainment. All right, so people make fun of me for viewing “The Powerpuff Girls”, but I rather watch that than some over-blown shallow BS like “The Real World.”
I’m probably the worst one to hold the remote. I’ll gladly bypass all of the popular TV shows of the day. I’ll skip through and then I’ll stay on stuff like The Discovery Channel or The History Channel.
Well since you asked, (or maybe you didn’t, but I never needed permission from anyone anyway…) here is my list of TV shows, both past and present that I think rule the airwaves. Not in any order…like you care.
Right now I love “The Osbornes.” When I grow up, I wanna be just like Kelly Osborne! Nevermind Ozzy himself; the dude can barely speak cohearent sentences. It’s clear that Sharon and Kelly reign supreme. Okay, so most of the family have become media whores, but think about it. I wish I were a member of The Osborne family!
Well, not everyone is like the Osbornes. Here I’m gonna vent about some of the people in the music field that work my nerves. Don’t worry, I won’t waste time mentioning all those no talent boy bands; although I’m sure that you must hate them as much as I do. Well at least The Spice Girls had some kitsch appeal to them…but all those lame boy bands…nah-huh. I’m already seeing Backstreet Boys stuff on sale at the local .99 cents store. There’s such crap that passes for a tune nowadays, like Gwen whatshername from that fake-ska No Doubt group. The only good thing about her is her hair color. Oh, and what’s the deal with that new Avril Lavigne teen singer chick? Someone send her jailbait ass back some cheesy surburian mall and tell her that shopping at Hot Topics won't make her even halfway likable. Metallica just blows. Never was into that band. Ditto for Fred Durst and his stupid band limp whatever. Oh yeah, most of all, I really hate Aerosmith-especially Steven Tyler. How can anyone think that Steven Tyler is hot!?! I mean, damn that dude is ugly! Since when does wearing spandex and flying scarves above your head considered fashionable? Love in an elevator? I hope that Steven Tyler falls down an elevator shaft.
You must really think by now that I’m totally immature; well at least I’m honest about it!
Onto the subject of "celebrities”…I’ve reached the conclusion that celebrities are over-rated in this society. Yeah, I’m sure that most entertainers work very hard that their craft and what they do, but on the whole celebrities are taken way too seriously. Why, if a popular celebrity of the day even breathes the wrong way it ends up on the cover of the New York Post, the world’s lousiest newspaper. Having said that, the celebrities that get on my nerves are such like Tom Cruise, Julia Roberts, Michael Jackson, the entire cast on that "Friends" TV show, Carson Daly, and Wyonna Ryder.
I hope Wyonna Ryder goes to jail just for making bad films, nevermind shoplifting. Come to think of it, she always made me cringe. One time I saw her walking down West 8th Street with an unidentified friend, and she treated anyone who even so much as glanced upon her as if that person was a lowly pleasant. Well f**k you too Wyonna. Ms. Jolie stole very scene from the film “Girl Interrupted” from your sticky fingers and you know it so there.
Eeek…there goes my so-called “film career...”