First off, my input on the impending Sosa trade. First rule - do not trade Trot Nixon. he may be only a sophomore but he is every bit at the heart of this team like Nomar and Pedro. Second rule - Don't trade both Ohka and Dernell Stenson. One is future Slugger, the other our future #2 starter. Otherwise, everyone else is expendable, especially Steve Lomansney. This kid is getting promoted around the minors because we have Varitek already. We don't need another young catcher. Lomasney is great - so let's get something great for him. Back to topic.

There's been a lot of talk about Red Sox vs. Yankees and who will win but I have yet to see a breakdown, player by player to determine which team holds the advantages and where they advantages are. And if it has been done, I haven't seen it done by someone completely biased toward the Red Sox. We'll do them in order of position number, with pitching staffs (minus staff ace)and bench warmers in the back of the pack and biased commentary from my alter ego, "Patdaddy", after the analysis.

STAFF ACE

Pedro - He's the best in the game following up one of the most dominating seasons in history with an even better one. He's got four pitches that come from the same arm position with the same arm velocity, including one of the deadliest fastball/change combos ever.

"El Duque" - He's good, plain and simple. We don't know how old he is or how he survived the raft ride, but El Duque has great control and can throw any pitch at several arm angles and velocities.

Advantage - Red Sox, no matter how good el Duque is, There is no comparison to the should-be-MVP Pedro.

Patdaddy says - Pedro doesn't even have to bean you to injure you. Trying to hold back his change up will usually shred enough muscle tissue and tear enough ligaments to hurt you plenty.

CATCHER

Varitek - Considered by many the second best catcher in the AL behind Pudge. He's got a good bat with 25 homer power and can handles a pitching staff as well as anyone in the game. His biggest drawback is inability to throwout thieves but Pedro's long delivery and wakefields 58 mph dancing meatballs would bring down anyone's percentage.

Jorge - This fella ain't bad. He's got all the tools and he's got the rings to prove it, making Torre's platoon idea of the past two years obsolete. Those that don't think Varitek is the second best backstop in the AL would vote for Jorge.

Advantage - Push - I'd take Varitek over Jorge any day but based on value, age and future potential (Jorge is as good as he's gonna get, though the yanks shouldn't complain about that). Jorge is possibly the most important, yet under appreciated member of the Yanks, bringing him up to par with our boy.

Patdaddy says - screw value you idiot. Anyone that has to catch wakefield should automatically get props over anyone else.

1B

Stanley/Daubach - These two make a good combo in the DH/1B role and should have between 50-60 homeruns between them. They've got pop, but on the down side both are slower than my grandmother and are defensive liabilities. I will not address the addition of Offerman to the platoon until it's apparent it is a permanent option.

Tino Martinez - He's not the big bopper of years past but he's a tough out and brings a good glove at gametime.

Advantage - Yanks - I fear Martinez at the plate more than I get goosebumps when our platoon takes their hacks. It's not scientific but it's how I call it.

Patdaddy says - Tino? Tino (complete dead-end expression)? How the hell can you pick any fool named Tino over the Belville Basher and our favorite Yankee killer that used to play for the Yanks and now hates them because being a Red Sox is so much better? With a name like Tino, he should be in an some cheesey boy band, not an MLB uniform.

2B

Offerman/Frye - Offerman has been injured and based on last years stats and a few decent streaks this year I don't wanna give up on him. However, Frye is hot as ever and proving his worth yet again so whenever Offy has issues, he can sit a spell and we know we're in good shape. And hey, we never expected Offy to play good defense anyway so we're not disappointed in him at all.

Knoblouch - His defensive woes are getting worse but his bat is making life good for the Yanks at the top of the order.

Advantage - Sox. Most folks will say I'm nuts considering Knobby's hot bat the apst month but let's face it, Offy just isn't gifted enough to be a great fielder. Knoblouch is a great fielder that is having mental lapses with his throwing. Come crunch time that will have a significant effect on his batting.

Patdaddy says - Knoblouch is a huge, freaking basket case. He couldn't hit the side of a barn if he was standing on the inside with the doors shut.

3B

Veras - He's rough around the edges but his upsides are better than anyone else available. Wilt has been struggling in the field, almost in double digit errors already (he may be there since I haven't seen a box score in while). But the fact is his athleticism lets him make plays Valentin hasn't made in the past three years. His bat is good but it'll be 2-3 years before he develops 20-30 homerun potential the scouts mention. Considering the need for a big bat now, Veras could be trade bait if a 3Bman pops up on the market. Robin Ventura maybe when Ordonez is healthy since the Mets need to dump salary and get younger if they are to get one more big name pitcher or bopper at the deadline and they know their second baseman, Edgar Alfonzo, is the 2nd best 3rd baseman in the league behind Ventura.

Brosius - Reliable in the field and he has returned to the .250 BA range after busting out on the Yanks 1998 miracle team and making the AL all-star team that year.

Advantage - Sox - I wouldn't put Wilton too far ahead of Brosious right now but he's a rookie that saw a lot of time with the big boys last year and at any time could come alive and bust out on a hot streak to rival any third baseman in the AL this side of Troy Glaus. That and if the Sox make a move, it'll be for a big bat at third or left field, seriously upgrading the position beyond anything the yankees have the resources to bring in. Brosious has nothing more than what he's already giving the Yanks.

Patdaddy says- Hell yeah!

SS

Nomar - he da man. He's batting over .370 and is getting a lot more pop in his swing after coming off the DL. He still has yet to finish a season with less than 20 errors but the fact is he makes 40 plays a season no other short stop in baseball could make with the best range around (though we'll see how rafeal furcal's range is after a few more months to judge) and keeps dozens more in the infield to keep the runners to one base on a hit when the ball would scoot by other guys.

Jeter - he's the model of consistency in comparison Nomar's flash in the field. He hits 25 homers a year and is the center piece of the the yankees team, and deservedly so. No nonsense and he loves the game. Defensively he's a baby-faced Cal Jr. in his prime and he's one of the toughest out's in the lead when he carry's the lumber.

Advantage - Sox - Nomar by a whisker, but a peach fuzz whisker cuz Jeter's baby face suggests he shaves about once a week. Jeter is amazing but I have to give it up to Nomar on the better range and the fact that he puts the ball into play nearly every time he gets to the plate w/o grounding into excessive DP's, a key in manufacturing runs in post-season.

Patdaddy says - no competition people. Nomar is the man and anything said or thought to the contrary is considered herecy in Red Sox Nation. Nomar has been appointed the savior (with the title of god remaining with Teddy ballgame as long as he blesses us with his presence in this world) of our universe and will stay there until the position of God reluctantly becomes available.

LF

Troy O'Leary - Over the past four years Troy has won the hearts of Sox fans and is the first LF to make us remember the streak of greatness blessed on Leftfield through the greatest troika of left fielders to bless a team for 50+ years in Williams, Yaz and Rice. The Gator was good but the hype of his rookie season always left us hungry for more than he could do the next ten years he spent using his body as a battering ram on the score board. But, Troy is sucking worse than a teething infant right now and it looks like one of those random season's he may have to write off and get back into form for next year.

Ledee/Spencer - Ledee seems to have finally grabbed the starting spot and has done some clutch hitting with respectable fielding and may become a fixture in the line up.

Advantage - Yanks - but only by default. Troy is a borderline all-star and just his stroke due to family issues somewhere on his visit to the Mendoza Line. If he returns to norm, it's no contest but he can't do it right now. Look for a potential up grade by Duquette if he can't ride out the storm in the second half like Trot did last year.

Patdaddy says - I don't care what anyone else thinks cuz there is no way Ledee or Spencer get any props in my book. Give me O'Leary or give me....oh jeez. O'leary, for the love of Teddy Ballgame (insert God here) hit the damn ball!

CF

Carl - Carl has got speed to burn and has learned the tricky Fenway outfield quicker than anyone before him. Amazingly, he is a defensive upgrade on the Gold Glove Darren Lewis and is swinging the best bat on the club. He's on pace for 50 dingers, well over 100 rbi's and plays with the passion of a hungry lion. The only question is do we bow in honor now or after the season?

Bernie - The centerfielder that could have been a Red Sox - he's good, real good. One of the best fielders and pure hitters in the game that has earned his all-star status. And he is clutch too.

Advantage - Sox - with due repect to Mr. Bernie, Carl is playing out of his mind! In the long run this may be a career season he never reaches again but this fella is out playing nearly everyone in the game. If he doesn't start the all star game he got robbed.

Patdaddy Says - That's what you get bernie...use us to drive up the price on the Yanks and one year later we go and get a better, cheaper center fielder that runs cirlces around your sorry ass! haha!

RF

Trot - no manager in his right mind would have stuck with Trot after his first two months. But he started in the show like he did every other level of baseball - slower than my grandmother. Jimie stuck with him and played him and now we have a budding star on our hands that plays hard, competes harder and is the first right fielder that can bridge the time gap back to Dewey. He mows don't runners trying to score and hit one of the greatest homers in Sox history 2 weeks ago in the epic duel of the Rocket v. Pedro. Gee, Jimie does it again.

O'Neil - I don't like this guy but the fact is he's one of the best hitters in the game and has been for years. In the field he's starting to look like it's time to start concentrating on his IRA and 401K but at the plate he's as deadly as ever.

Advantage - Yanks - Trot is still coming into his own and no matter how much I hate O'Neil, he's too good not to give props to.

Patdaddy says - Here's what I think of you O'Neil, you whining, crybaby, annoying, ungrateful, sour faced, ugly, pain in my rear. Did I mention whining cry baby? I did? Good, wouldn't want to forget that one you whining crybaby (once more never hurts).

Starting Pitching

RedSox - Best ERA in the league by a half run and second best w/o pedro. Not bad at all for a group of reclamation projects and young pup Brian Rose. Just wait till Sabes comes back in July rested and ready to go.

Yanks - Good rotation that in the off season watched it's age lap it like El Guapo laps the buffet at Sizzler. Everyone has been inconsistent and not living up to their billing for some reason or another but they still have the 2nd best ERA in the league. Not too shabby.

Advantage - Sox

Patdaddy says - Oh, we're not done by a long shot. First were gonna rehab Rod Beck. Then Sabes. Then Hipolito Pichardo, then Mel Rojas, then Jim Palmer, then bring Sandy Koufax, Gibson and Satchel Paige back from the grave and open up an ungodly keg of whoopass on the Yanks in the ALCS.

Bullpen

Sox - Second best in the league in ERA and very consistent. It's rare to see us loose the lead when the pen is called in. However, mop up duty usually makes a bad day worse.

Yanks - Good as always, but Rivera is showing he can cough up a game every now and then which is the biggest difference. That and there is no legit 5th starter, a situation that is taxing the bull pen driving Georgey-Porgey nuts.

Advantage - Push - too close to call with two great closers and great role players on each side

Patdaddy says - Get a hit off the Sox pen, and El Guapo will sit on you!

Intangibles

Stadium Advantage - both have old world stadiums revered throughout the game. Fenway is a thing of beauty to behold by any one that ever donned a baseball cap as last year's all-star game testified. Yankee Stadium is more revered for the history and great players that wore the pinstripes. Otherwise, it's not much prettier than Shea.

Advantage - Sox - if you don't play at Fenway every day, you may as well start one run in the hole every game cuz the nooks and cranies can cost you big if you don't know what to expect.

Patdaddy says - I love Fenway but give us a new stadium! Sorry, had to plug the new deal - refer to my last article in the archives for details.

Experience/Veterans

Yanks - Oldest team in MLB
Sox - Hovering at the median age
Advantage - Sox

Patdaddy says - hope you yanks are practicing eating through a straw and wearing diapers. Peanuckle anyone?

Fans

Despite last year's garbage tossing incident at Fenway, Sox fans have been known across the MLB as some of the most knowledgable (though sometimes they should have their mouths washed out with soap like fans in most stadiums) fans in the game with the best chants and heckling to get under the skin of the opposition. And as far as the garbage throwing incident - there was never a dangerous item thrown from the stands - only empty cups and empty soda bottles. On the flipside, NY fans are known to throw anything including batteries and other objects that will cause severe injury. And as Mike Leoncavallo stated in his article a couple months back - they can't come up with a good chant if their lives depended on it.

Advantage - Sox - nothing has the same ring too it as "Yaaaannkeeeeeees suuuuucck!"

Patdaddy says - Yaaaaaaaaaaannkkeeeeeeeeeeeees Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Gee, no more games in the bronx this year. Hmmmm, we can harrass skankee players and fans all we want and there's nothing their fans can do about it. nanny nanny booboo!

Mascot

Yankees - none
Red Sox - wally the green monster - we're pretty embarassed, Wally sucks.

Advantage - Yankees

Patdaddy says: there's nothing I can do or say to redeem us on this one folks. I hang my head in shame (like Roger after wiplash from Trot's 2 run homer - haha, I can slavage any situation!)

History

Yanks - 25 World Title
Red Sox - 4 World series and a profound ability to tank in the clutch
Advantage - Yanks - leave me alone people, I think I'm gonna cry

Patdaddy - all that winning is boring. No excitement in a dynasty. Just a bunch of bandwagon bafoons.

italian sausage sold outside park

Yanks - never ate it there, so they loose automatically
Advantage - Sox - my drool isn't coming down your computer screen is it?

Patdaddy says - mpth sdfyt atar LET agfasdfa ME kasdf aad FINISH adfa agllh CHEWING....

beer brand sold

Patdaddy says - Who cares - it's $6 a pop and it ain't sam adams - capitalist bastards.

who offered umpires more to be bought off

Patdaddy says - duh - the yanks paid them more. Though not that I doubt we didn't try but hey, the Sox are a Trust and Steinbrenner owns half the planet. Of course we're gonna loose that battle! We all saw the reults in the ALCS.

history of drug abusers/felons

Yanks - Gooden and the Straw are still having fun with the powdery white stuff .

Red Sox - Uh yeah...Butch hobson has completely kicked his habit. Cordero slapping his wife around.

Advantage - Red Sox - all are equally bad, but ours were much more entertaining. Butch was our manager! He makes Billy Martin Look like a social drinker. And hey, athletes are known for beating there wives and kids but at least Cordero was creative enough to use a telephone and make it an interesting story.

Patdaddy says - And I still firmly believe Cordero's was merely trying to kill a pesky mosquito when he beat her repeatedly over the head with a telephone reciever.

Sports Illustrated Curse

Yanks - Never Seems to bother them
Sox - hell, this is the first time I remember being predicted so early to win. Guess we'll find out.

Advantage - Push - for now Pat Daddy says: we attack SI headquarters at sundown. Meet me at the gates and ask your closest NRA member for all his weapons. First target - Jeff Pearlman - because of him we have to be inundated daily about the trials and tribulations of John Rocker - baseball's biggest idiot.

Fighting

Yanks - No good fights since 1998 - what a bunch of tinkerbells!
Sox - We showed the Indians what for.

Advantage - Sox - All the Indians whining about Pedro was to cover up the fact that all the Indians were to cowardly to go near him since clubhouse enforcer, Jim Rice, was shadowing Pedro the whole time. Now that's a team effort, baby. all the Yanks can claim was when the ever cowardly Straw blindsided a perfectly innocent Armando Benitez that happened to drill a perfectly deserving yankee with a 100 mph fast ball. I see no fault here.

Patdaddy says - Any team with Darren Lewis who brought the flying dropkick to MLB last year cannot be denied in a slugfest of the true-est sense.

City Accents

Yankees - NY city has one of the most classless, horrible, whiny, pathetic accents of all time.
Boston - bahstan ha a beautiful accent to compliment the ivy league education offad at Hahvahd.
Advantage - Sox

Patdaddy says - Hey, new yorkers, I know a place you can pahk yah cahs. Right up yah stinking....

Overall

Yanks - Suck
Sox - Rule

Patdaddy says - Bite you New Yorkers. We don't even need to add the score - we're kickin' yo asses and there ain't nothing you can do about it!

patdaddy@prodigy.net