Hey all and welcome to another installment of "In the Name of Glove." It's been while so I must apologize. I was on the road for over a week and my lap top broke. During my trip I tried to think of a good subject matter to write about but couldn't come up with anything substantial enough for an entire column. So instead this week you get all of my random baseball thoughts and ideas in my typical fragment form. Enjoy.

To start off I need to submit a partial retraction of my last column as it may have offended some of the ladies, the whole bit about alibis when the loving lady won't let you watch the game. I meant this more as a spoof on the mentioned bud light commercial than anything else and was all in good fun. The women I stereotyped make up a small percentage of the population and is not the whole as I may have intimated. I enjoy watching sports with women and can't remember the last time attended a game with just guys. The guys' day at the park is a summer necessity but I will have to agree with my colleague Gary that watching the game with women that can at the very least appreciate a day at the park is definitely a good thing that should happen often. My apologies for having offended the fairer sex. Now onto my random thoughts and ideas.

MLB vs. NHL on suspensions:

John Rocker - 45 days/$20,000 for being an idiot and mouthing off - a constitutional right.

Neidermyer and McSorly - combined 33 games for intentional violence that could have ended up killing their targets - a constitutional no-no.

Is MLB got a stick up their rear or has the NHL solidified their status as "Goons R' Us" - a title formerly owned by the NFL for off-the-field hijinx?

What if Rey Ordonez could hit? Derek and Nomar who?

Thank the heavens Griffey took less money and we aren't paying $100 to sit in the bleachers for a marquee player. But don't get used to it - ARod will make sure of that. Anyone else glad we have Nomar and Pedro signed for 5 more years?

Sports Illustrated declaring the Red Sox will win the Series - must have been a yankees fan that wrote this one. C'mon - we don't need a another jinx! This is like setting a pick on Mugsey Bogues when he has to pick up Shaq on a defensive switch (i.e. the Red sox vs. history). Utterly wrong. The writer should be suspended 45 issues and $20,000 for being an idiot and mouthing off. To be clear, I like our chances this year - but this is just blatant screwing with the natural order of things in this world.

Mark McGwire now has protection in the line up and starting pitching. Hmmm...

Juan Pena may never pitch again. Does the potential future of our organization being toyed with by the baseball gods truly surprise anyone?

My favorite baseball movie of all time - besides home video of my little league days - Bull Durham. Who wants to chime in on this one? It was funny and dramatic and had nothing to do with winning a pennant. It was about the game itself, how it should be played and the people that surround it at it's most most pure professional level - the minors. Runners up in order: Eight Men Out, Field of Dreams, Major League, League of Their Own, The Natural (Robert Redford being so damn perfect and getting more ladies at 70 than me at 24 just makes watching any of his movies tough, therebye moving this movie down the list - despite the obvious brilliance of this movie in particular).

I went out on Sunday to take fielding practice and hit a few for a friend to shag. Here are the results:

*Surprise - I can hit a ball 300 feet with a half-hearted swing. Imagine what I could do if I was playing on a real field and could swing away?

*Not a surprise - if some one with any talent (or even a dumb machine) were throwing it, I'd be lucky to make contact.

*Not a surprise either - my fielding is not in mid season form.

*So stupid this should not have been a surprise - My body hurts today after my Dornsian fielding yesterday - (Think Major League if you don't get the reference).

Quote of the day: You're really not supposed to quote yourself but this random saying is directly relevent to Mark's 3/14 column of The MASK here on REDSOX2000.com. I was at dinner last night witha friend, a Mets fan I must unfortunately admit. The folks in the booth behind us stood up to leave when he noticed the father was wearing a mets cap and a yankees shirt. My friend beckoned him over and began to debate with him the ethics of rooting for the two different NY teams. He then went on to point out that I was a Red Sox fan (and damn proud of it) where the mother chimed in, "So am I!" Allies are always good in these situations. The father began some pitying talk but I shut him up when I said to the wife "Just remember, being a Red Sox fan is like being a member of the church. You gotta raise the kids a Red Sox fan or else." He walked away pretty miffed while the wife was pleasantly smiling. Life is good when you can shut up a yankee lover.

Ending note:

The season is here. Peter Gammons can be heard from on a daily basis. I am yet again reminded I don't have the money for the satellite TV necessary to watch the BoSox from DC. My new glove is wearing in well. I have baseball tickets waiting for me for when the Sox come to Baltimore. I can already taste my first Italian Sausage of the season. Who cares about anything else? Life is good. Enjoy the season.

patdaddy@prodigy.net