1.The female makes the rules.
2.The rules are subject to change by the female at any time without prior notification.
3.No male can possibly know all the rules. Attempts to document the rules are not
permitted.
4.If the female suspects that the male may know some or all of the rules, she must
immediately change some or all of the rules.
5.The female is never wrong.
6.If the female is wrong, it is because of an egregarious misunderstanding which was the
direct result of something the male did, said, did not do, or did not say.
7.If rule 6 is invoked, the male must apologize immediately for having been the cause of
the misunderstanding without any clues from the female as to what he did to have
caused the misunderstanding. See rule 13.
8.The female may change her mind at any time for any reason or no reason at all.
9.The male is never permitted to change his mind or under circumstances without the
express written consent of the female which is given only in cases where the female
wanted him to change his mind but gave no indication of that wish. See rules 6, 7, 12,
and 13.
10.The female has the right to be angry or upset for any reason, real or imagined, at any
time and under any circumstance which in her sole judgement she deems appropriate.
The male is not to be given any sign of the root cause of the female's being angry or
upset. The female may, however, give false or misleading reasons to see if the male is
paying attention. See rule 13.
11.The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or
upset.
12.Under no circumstances may the female give the male any clue or indication whether
or why she wants him to be angry or upset.
13.The male is expected to read the mind of the female at all times. Failure to do so will
result in punishments and penalties imposed at the sole discretion of the female.
14.The female may, at any time and for any reason, resurrect any past incident without
regard to temporal or spacial distance, and modify, enlarge, embellish, of wholly
reconstruct it in order to demonstrate to the male that he is now or has in the past been
wrong, insensitive, pig-headed, dense, deceitful, and/or oafish.
15.The female may use her interpretation of any past occurrence to illustrate the ways in
which the male has failed to accord her the consideration, respect, devotion, or material
possessions, he has bestowed on other females, domestic pets or barnyard animals,
sports teams, automobiles, motorcycles, boats, aircraft, or coworkers. Such illustrations
are non-rebuttable.
16.If the female is experiencing PMS, Post-PMS, or Pre-PMS, the female is permitted to
exhibit any manner of behaviors she wishes without regard to logical consistency or
accepted norms of human behavior.
17.Any act, deed, word, expression, statement, utterance, thought, opinion, or belief by the
male is subject to the sole, subjective interpretation of the female, other external
factors not-withstanding. Alibis, excuses, explanations, defenses, reasons, extenuations,
or rationalizations will not be entertained. Abject pleas for mercy and forgiveness are
acceptable under some circumstances, especially when accompanied by tangible
evidence of contrition.
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