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Education makes a people easy to lead, |
Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward. |
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If there was a big gardening convention, and you got up and gave a speech in favor of fast-motion gardening, I bet you would get booed right off the stage. They're just not ready. As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way. -A man is driving up a steep, narrow mounttain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!" The man immediately leans out his window and replies, "Stupid!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner he slams into a pig in the middle of the road. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? How is it possible to have a civil war? How do I set my laser printer on stun? If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? |
Photofinishing Troubles Snow White received a camera as a gift. She
happily took pictures of the Dwarfs and their surroundings. When she finished her first batch
she went took the film to be developed. After a week or so she went to get the finished
photos. The clerk said the photos were not back from the processor. Needless to say, she
was disappointed and started to cry. The clerk, trying to console her, said don't worry,
"Someday your prints will come." |
After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were: His obnoxious brother............................................Please Gogh His dizzy aunt ........................................................Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes....................................Gotta Gogh The constipated uncle ............................................Cant Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store....Stopn Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia...........................U Gogh The brother who bleached his clothes white...........Hue Gogh The cousin from Illinois...........................................Chica Gogh His magician uncle...................................................Wherediddy Gogh His Mexican cousin..................................................Amee Gogh The Mexican cousin's American half brother..........Grin Gogh The nephew who drove a stage coach ....................Wellsfar Gogh The ballroom dancing aunt.......................................Tan Gogh A sister who loved disco...........................................Go Gogh The bird lover uncle..................................................Flamin Gogh His nephew psychoanalyst........................................E Gogh The fruit loving cousin..............................................Man Gogh An aunt who taught positive thinking.......................Wayto Gogh The little bouncy nephew.........................................Poe Gogh And his niece who travels the country in a van.......Winnie Bay Gogh
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The most likely way for the world to be destroyed,
most experts agree, is by accident.
That's where we come in; we're computer professionals.
We cause accidents.
Nathaniel Borenstein
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