You Might Be a Redneck IF:
In grade school as a kid, during resess, A hub-cap roles by the swing set and you try to play frisbie (done it...)
You've been married three times
and still have the same in-laws.
You think TACO BELL is
the Mexican Phone Company
Your house still has the
"WIDE LOAD"
sign on the back.
You got stopped by a state trooper.
He asked you if you had an I.D.
And you said, 'Bout What?'
If you can burp
and say your name at the same time
You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.
You Want to take a shower, but your parent's left the catfish in the tub, (happen to a friend)
You hooked up with your present girlfriend
as a result of a message on the wall of
the mens' room at the Flying J Truck Stop
You think a quarter horse is
a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.
You and your dog use the same tree
You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.
You think the last words to
The Star Spangled Banner are
"Gentlemen, start your engines."
The people on Jerry Springer's show
remind you of your neighbors
You've ever had to scratch your sisters
name out of a message that begins,
"For a good time time call..."
You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took
You have to go outside to get
something out of the 'fridge.
You have spray painted your
girlfriend's name on an overpass.
You've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.
You think the three primary colors are
John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray.
You've been on TV more than 5 times
describing the sound of a tornado.
The FBI surrounded your trailer park
twice so far this year.
You wonder how service stations
keep their restrooms so clean
Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.
That billboard that says,
"SAY NO TO CRACK"
reminds you to pull up your jeans.
Your child's first words were
"Attention K-Mart shoppers!"
YOU'VE EVER COME HOME
AND FOUND CRIME SCENE TAPE
ACROSS YOUR FRONT PORCH.