Dear Diary
By Ice Queen

Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers, all hail the people who do!

AN: Warning! Try Spoilers! Kinda... My take on the Xelloss/Filia thing, if you don't like the couple don't read. If you do, well, tell me what you think, k?

Dear Diary: It's me again. I know I can talk to you, nobody else understands the pressure I'm under right now! What if I'm wrong? What if Lina and the others aren't the prophesied ones? It makes me tremble to think how I could have ruined the fate of the world this way. And to think! I have to spend time in the company of that... of that namagomi!

Sometimes he makes me so infuriated that I could just... Ohhh.... I don't know! But then he does something, something completely unexpected. I guess he just likes to keep my emotions high, monsters like him enjoy that kind of thing. He's completely unexpected, deriving pleasure from my rage, but even stranger, loving to throw me off balance.

He saved my life once. I know, he said it was just to throw Valgaav off balance, but he did save me. I keep telling myself I would have teleported in time, but late at night, when the wind is slamming against the shutters and the only sound I can hear is my heartbeat... well, I have my doubts.

Oh, but he's a hentai! I swear that he riles me more to see me transform more then to feed off my anger. You see... *Blush* I have to get naked in order to change into my dragon form. I really must learn to control my temper, but that... Xelloss makes me so mad! And I know he's just as happy to see me hike up my skirts and grab my beloved mace-sama. I wouldn't be surprised to find a twenty tucked in my garter one day. I just hope he never thinks of that, I would never be able to live it down!

The others seem to tolerate him, even worse, they actually seem fond of him! I can understand Lina... she is slightly evil after all, but even Amelia doesn't seem to mind him and she's the princess of a holy city! I suppose it helps that Zelgadiss can't stand him either, but he's nowhere near as tormented, teased, or purposely infuriated by that trickster as I am.

I must stop thinking of him and get back to my true goal. We must keep this planet from being destroyed and find the other weapon of light. I have no time to deal with a meddlesome killer, slayer of dragons, the one who took out most of my race!! Ohhhh... he makes me so mad!

It was just too tempting to resist, and he had never passed up temptation. Grinning even more then usual he quickly yanked the abandoned pink book off her table and teleported far away.

"Why... Filia-chan, I never knew you cared!" The sound of his laughter made the young priestess to wake up with a jerk.

"Wha-what? Where's my diary?" Her hand drifted up to her heart as her face paled. Just as quickly as it had paled it turned bright red, steam coming out of her ears.

"NAMAGOOMMMMMIIIIII!!!!!!"

"She does have such a high opinion of me, doesn't she? I must say even I had no idea she felt so deeply... Perhaps there could be more entertainment to this small dragon than I had thought..." The mysterious priest was mumbling to himself, one amethyst eye open, the other tightly closed.

"A twenty, huh? How amusing! And here I thought that she had no sense of humor." The other eye opened slowly as the smile on his face took an unfamiliar slant. "We shall see who has the last laugh, my darling Filia, yes, we shall see."

"Miss Lina, is it just me or is miss Filia acting even more... unusual then usual?" Amelia said softly, trying to keep the aforementioned dragon from hearing.

"What do you mean, Amelia? She seems alright to me!" Lina said, tossing Amelia's fears aside as though they were all her imagination. But she's right... The red-headed sorceress thought to herself, Filia hasn't acted right for the last week, and there hasn't been a sign of Xelloss anywhere...

Filia, sneezed, wiping her arm across her nose as she trudged on silently. Her heart was no longer in the task before her and she couldn't seem to dredge up her usual enthusiasm for anything. It was rather odd considering that most times she would have been joyous at the fact that the mazoku had decided to stop following them around. Yet the fact that she had never gotten her diary back tended to put a damper on even that high. There were things in that harmless looking book that could get her excommunicated from her position as priestess. Several studies she had done concerning their religious beliefs had made her question the very grand elder himself. If these thoughts and theories were to get in the hands of the enemy... who knew what could happen?

She shook her head, a tremor of fear racing down her spine. With her diary in the hands of the very same mazoku that had destroyed millions of her own, it could well mean the end of dragon kind itself, false teachings or not. Her anxiety got to be too much for her and she stopped mid-stride, whipping out a tea set and placing it in front of her. Just as she was about to pour the teapot was taken out of her reach by a disturbingly familiar lavender gloved hand.

"Now, now, miss Filia, why don't you allow me to pour." His smug voice asked, causing her to stay perfectly still for a second the yank up her skirt and pull out her beloved mace. Well, she would have pulled out her mace, but it wasn't there anymore. She gaped down at her leg, her mouth dropping at the sight of a fifty dollar bill (convert it to whatever type you want) snugly tucked where the mace was supposed to be.

"Wow Filia! Where'd you learn that trick?" Gourry asked innocently, causing even Xelloss to face fault with the rest of the onlookers. Lina, having been the first one to recover, bonked him soundly on the head.

"That... I... Umm... Darn you namagomi!" Filia cried out, running away from the group as fast as possible. Tears silently streamed down her face, though she never even noticed them, with the white-hot embarrassment she was experiencing.

"Mr. Xelloss that was unjust! I demand you apologize right now!" Amelia shouted, pointing her finger as an announcement that she was about to start a speech. Before she could though Zelgadiss agreed.

"She's right, you know. Even you should know better then to treat a Priestess of the Fire Dragon King as a common street walker. Though I suppose it's only to be expected." Zel would have said more, but said mysterious trickster had already disappeared.

"Well... I guess we should have seen it coming. He is a mazoku after all." Lina stated, philosophically. They shrugged, sitting down to the tea that Filia had left behind. There was no reason to let it go to waste!

She was curled up against a large tree, silent tears flowing down her face as she stared off into nothingness. She was such a pathetic sight that something made him almost regret what he had done... Almost.

"Now now, tears are not befitting in one such as yourself. Such loveliness should never be marred by sorrow..." The voice was husky, drawing the shocked glance of the young dragon up with a gasp. Xelloss stood in front of her, his handkerchief held out as a sign of well meaning.

"What would you know, anyways? You would have to have a heart to understand!" She said, shoving the proffered hanky away and pulling out her own. It was bright pink and had a tiny golden dragon stenciled in the corner. He almost laughed, but figured it might not be the wisest thing to do at the moment.

"That wounds me, Filia-chan, truly. I suppose you golden dragons have the market on hearts and such, no? Perhaps I might have one if you were willing to share." His last words were whispered in her ear, the hot breath running over sensitive flesh and forcing her to jump with a little more haste then she wished to show. She jumped to her feet, glaring at him with the self-righteousness of a million years of good breeding.

"I would never, NEVER share my tea with a namagomi like you, much less my pure innocent heart!" She shouted, her tail sticking straight up and her eyes bright red. "If you ever so much as suggest such a thing I shall hunt you down and make you pay!"

"You? A weak little golden dragon, make me pay?" He asked, the incongruity of the statement sending him into gales of laughter as he rolled on the floor in SD form. "That is to laugh! Fi-Chan you truly are the most amusing creature!" He said, between gasping laughter.

She glared down at him, remembering that she was still lacking her beloved mace, than turned away, heading back towards the other with a small huff of contempt. "I suppose it isn't much of a threat to a cold blooded bastard such as yourself." She stated, unable to keep herself from glancing backwards once more. "It would be much better revenge if I were to tell you that I was in love with you, wouldn't it? Something akin to Amelia's Life is Wonderful song, no? Too bad Golden Dragons aren't allowed to lie, isn't it?"

His heart, or whatever took its place in pure evil, had stopped at the sentence "I was in love with you" and refused to start up again. He sat there, completely still as she strutted away casually. For once, both of them knew who had won the battle this time, and it wasn't Xelloss.

He sat in his crowded little library in subspace, his booted feet propped comfortably on his desk and a well worn pink book in his hands. Every once in a while he would pound on his chest, disconcerted by the lack of beating that he had grown accustomed to. He didn't need a heartbeat to survive, this human body was merely a guise he had achieved in order to fit in better, but he had grown used to the little details... such as a timed thudding from his chest cavity.

Xelloss shoved the thought to the back of his mind, flipping the pages of the book backwards a few times. He didn't know what he found so fascinating about her words. Perhaps the unique way they flowed together, or the way that her feelings seem to have soaked into the very texture of the book. No matter, he thought. Perhaps this shall keep me amused until my next duty.

Dear Diary. I don't know why this is bothering me so much. I have to have faith in the prophecy, the Grand Elder has never truly led me false. It might have helped had The Knight of Ceifeed been able to explain why I now travel with this ragged band. Perhaps it is merely my fate to be stuck with gluttonous heathens that care not about the planets fate.

I would feel so much safer if they weren't traveling with a demon. But this is no ordinary demon. I have heard tales of his fame and ruthlessness since I was a hatchling. It's hard to reconcile such a gruesome killer with the harmless prankster whom he portrays himself as.

He is refined, cool at times and merely acts the fool to get his desires. I would almost like him if he were not pure evil. He has the most, and I shudder to say this, class in the group. His etiquette and manners are as fine, if not better then those of mine own.

I suppose its no wonder that evil comes with class. He is rather high on the demon pecking chain, his mistress must enjoy a properly trained fool.

His heart had begun beating again. He hadn't even noticed while he was reading, but at the moment it felt as though it were trying to break through the very ribs that encased it. White-hot rage had encompassed him at the words 'A properly trained fool.' She had struck too close for comfort in his opinion and for that she had to suffer. His dragon would not get away with such impertinence.

He shoved away from his desk, clearing away the room with a wave, then teleported once more to the mortal playing field, his usual smile firmly in place.

"I suppose it's only fitting that I would go and forget to demand my diary back the one time I had the upper hand..." Filia said, her voice no more then a low mumble lest the others picked up on her words. "Though it was almost worth it to see that useless namagomi speechless for once."

"It's true that few catch me off guard like that my dear Filia!" She jumped, whipping around to find herself nose to nose with a smirking mazoku. "But fewer still have lived to tell of it." He finished, enjoying the slight flush over her cheeks.

"I want my Diary back!" She shouted in his face, ignoring that subtle threat he had just given. "Give it to me you useless namagomi! And give me back mace-sama while you're at it!"

"Oh no, my dear dragon." Xelloss said, pulling the diary from out of his cloak. "This stays close to the place I should have a heart at. Very close." He said, shoving the book into hiding once more. Filia screamed, growing talons that were aimed straight at his face.

He dodged easily, floating in the air and flipping through the pages of the diary once more. "I must say it is rather amusing to read, although you have truly lived an overly sheltered life, haven't you?" He flipped to a certain sketch that he was fond of. "Would this little demon chibi be me perchance? He is rather adorable if I do say so myself."

"GIVE IT BACK!" She screamed, clasping her dragon priestess jewel and beginning to change. Just as she had almost finished the transformation Xelloss pulled out a camera and started taking pictures. She stopped, replacing her clothes quickly, a bright red blush on her face.

"And it was just about to get interesting too... oh well, these will do to start my new calendar Dragu Babes... Perchance you have a sister?" He asked, opening one eye speculatively. She developed a very pronounced twitch at that moment. "Not that you won't bring customers, my dear. It's just..." He dodged the boulder aimed at his head and continued. "Men like some variety in their dragons! Perhaps a brunette? No? Blue?"

Filia picked up her favorite teapot and hurtled it straight for the area between his closed eyes, growling when he dodged it once more. "I see, you're jealous. Now Filia-chan you know you're the only dragon for me! I'm asking purely for business reasons!"

"DIE NAMAGOMI!!" She shouted, throwing the nearest thing, which just happened to be Gourry. "Wait!" she shouted, before (the irritated by being used only as a prop) Gourry could reach his destination. She grabbed Gourry out of the air and yanked the sword of light out of his holster.

"Hey! That's mine!" Gourry said.

"I'm merely borrowing it to relieve us of an irritation, Mr Gourry. You may have it back when I'm through." Gourry nodded, appeased by her answer. She held it in both hands, an almost evil smile on her face. "Light... Come... FORTH!" She shouted, making the mazoku's eyes open widely.

"I see... I hadn't known you hated me that very much, Filia..." He stood still, as though daring her to do it. The light glowed strongly in her grasp, fueled by both her rage and the great white energy that she possessed. *Small note: I know the jap name for the sword is hikaru no ken, or something like that but I don't actually know how to spell, so Icy cheating^_^*

Filia's hands clasped even tighter around the hilt of the sword as she pulled it back into a wild swing such as with mace-sama. She swung it slowly in an arch, expecting at any moment that he would teleport away, yet he stood. His shockingly wild eyes glued to hers as though wanting something she could never give him. The sword crept closer, heading for the place he should have had a heart, but never seemed to reach.

Clank... She dropped the handle to the ground, still staring into his eerie amethyst eyes, then turned, walking away as though ashamed. The rest of the group shook off the trance that had seemed to overtaken them, running up to the place where Xelloss still stood. Just as they were about to reach him he teleported away, leaving the group only the sword of light, still lying where Filia had dropped it.

"I could have killed him... I should have killed him... Why didn't I kill him?" She muttered to herself, making a cup of tea out of pure habit. The idea that she had had the chance to kill her greatest enemy and couldn't follow through went against every bit of dragon pride that she possessed.

"Perhaps you might miss me?" The oh-so annoying voice asked from behind. "It's really not that difficult to admit your feelings. I am rather hard to resist!" She turned, finding Xelloss once again close enough to kiss. Not that she wanted to. She scowled, glaring into his eerie eyes. "What? No smart commentary? No great put-down? No beautifully uncontrolled rage? Filia-chan are you sure you're feeling alright?" He asked, putting one hand to her forehead to check her temparature.

She suddenly smiled, an evil look that would have done Xelloss himself proud. "Life is wonderful, isn't it? Such a beautiful day to be alive!" He winced, pulling back into himself. "Such a glorious day to be near friends!" She was shouting by this time, mercilessly enjoying his whimpers of pain. She stopped, bent down to where her lips almost touched the outer ring of his ear and whispered. "That's what you get for taking away my mace, namagomi. And until I get the diary and the mace back you can expect more of the same." She walked away, her tail twitching triumphantly from the bottom of her skirt.

Something within his twisted little mind began to grow as he glared at her retreating form. For some reason he would never be quit of this irritant, and the worst part was... he had known from the moment he had set eyes on her. L-Sama surely must be punishing him. As soon as he had recovered sufficiently to teleport, he left, once again to hole up in his tiny library and read the ever-present diary. He stopped for a second, a befuddled look on his face as he pounded at his chest once more. There... his heart beat started again. This was really beginning to be an irritation... Perhaps he might ask Beastmaster about it, she had made him, after all.

Dear Diary: It has come to my attention that there is an evil presence in our midst... Yet this is not just any evil presence, this is the one that I have been warned of from days of old. I do not know why Xelloss has decided to join my small band of travelers, but such is true.

This could well be my chance to rectify the wrong he did to my people. I might, just might, be able to find his weakness and use it to rid this world of an evil even greater than... Well... A really big evil guy. You know what I mean. I would never pass up a chance to kill him! Never! For the lives of the millions he so needlessly killed and for the glory of my royal race I shall destroy this... this namagomi!

And then I shall save the world. With the help of Lina and her followers of course. I shall show the Grand Elder that I am no mere babe!

Xelloss jerked out of his dream-like state and, re-reading the last sentence, started laughing like a fool. "No mere babe? Indeed!" When he had recovered his composure he read on, his lips moving unconsciously with the words, Filia's voice in his head.

I grow weary of his ever-present need to protect me, to shelter me from the evils of the world. I know he feels that I should be untainted as one of the royal priestesses, but he has taken it too far. There are times when I hear the others whispering, only to have them stop as I draw nearer. What are they hiding from me? Why will no one answer my questions concerning the ancient ones? All I'm told is that they grew too powerful. I should be satisfied with what I am given. May Ceifeed forgive me for my doubts.

His eyes slowly opened, a speculative gleam shining out. So even the grand Dragon Priestess wondered about the superiority of her race... How amusing! Perhaps she wasn't as naive as he had first believed! He closed the book, pocketing it back next to the temperamental beating from his chest. He didn't have time for this entertaining little dance she tried to lead him on, he had to get the last of the weapons before Lina and the others did... Speaking of which there were a few people with bad haircuts that he needed to talk to. Again, the area where he had stood disappeared, leaving behind just a faint whiff of black.

(Later that evening)

She found her mace waiting in front of her door. A dark purple ribbon tied around it, taunting her. She reached down, picking up her beloved mace-sama, and watching as a small scrap of paper fluttered to the ground.

She growled, turning back into her room and slamming the door shut loudly. From within the shadows a figured watched, listening to his heart once more. They were drawing near, and he had the feeling that his lovely little dragon would hold the key to this amusing puzzle.

It really would be a pity if he had to kill her. For some reason she and this heart thing seemed to be connected. He touched his chest, satisfied that at the moment it was beating nicely. As he had thought often before, although he didn't need it... He had grown accustom to the sound. He walked away, whistling, never noticing the creak of the door as someone watched him go.

(Epilogue)

She had waited until the small fox had fallen asleep. They were on their way to Seirune to start up a shop, the first legitimate job Jilias had ever had, she only hoped he would refrain from destroying it. After the fight she had found her diary in the same place she had always kept it, buried under her girdles. Although she was blushing she was happy enough to have it back that she refrained from screaming. She flipped through the pages, trying not to laugh at the little doodles he had drawn of her in the margins.

"I guess I shouldn't have worried, he already knew much more about my race then I ever did." She said to the night sky, regret buried deep in her voice. Filia shook it off, flipping to the last page, surprised to see someone else's writing, though she knew she shouldn't be.

Dear Filia Ul Copt's Diary: I hope this sees you well, Fi-Chan. You do know that I will try to avoid killing you in the future, you provide such entertainment as it is. There are some things that you wish to know about your race, perhaps even one day you will be curious enough to overcome your pride and ask me.

I don't suppose you could explain the human meaning for the heart, could you? I suppose I could ask Lina, but she would merely try to find out why I'm asking. It just seems that whenever you're near my 'excuse for a heart' as you so love to call it, seems to stop. In all my many years I have never had this peculiar problem... It is rather irritating after a while.

No matter, I doubt this shall be the last time you hear from me. You're rage just tastes so sweet that I know I shall never be able to help myself. Forever your mazoku, Xelloss

Filia closed the diary slowly, tucking it under her pillow. L-Sama had surely doomed her, she thought with a bittersweet smile.

Deep within the Sea Of Chaos a golden laughter was heard, and all returned to black.

The End