Who needs a mewling puking little pink bag of shit lying about and ruining your life. Thee Data Collectiv supplies ten good reasons why you should avoid the temptation to procreate. 1: It is the quickest and most effective way to turn yourself into your parents. 2: It is unlikely that you lads can manage it anyway, what with the world being awash with female hormones and tight pants, you can probably count you sperm on the fingers of one hand (and what are you doing with the other hand?) 3: Should you be allowed? Have you filled in the relevant Government forms to ensure that you have the correct moral and financial profile? If you are not rich and law abiding the powers that be are probably about to have you sterilised. 4: Do you need the hassle? Nothing ruins a fruitful and fulfilling social life more efficiently than a rugrat. 5: Can you afford it? All available resources will have to be spent on disposable nappies, knitted goods, soft toys and pureed food. (If you are so keen all these things why not get a job as Barbara Cartland's nursemaid). 6: You will be required by law to apply badly drawn pictures of yourself and various farmyard animals to your fridge door. Don't imagine you can avoid this by not having a fridge as these are supplied at ante natal classes. 7: Ante natal classes. A woman with hairy arms will teach you how to breath. How she imagines you managed to concieve without breathing is anyone's guess. 8: Your parents will be proud of you and your relatives will visit you regulary. Both of these things are bad for your mental health and your karma. 9: Offspring are guaranteed to dissapoint and embarrass. No matter how many cultural pointers you give them they will be sure to grow up voting Conservative, attending church regularly and enjoying Gloria Estafan C.D's (if you can't see the problem with all this you obviously got to this site by accident). 10: If you must insist on continuing your genetic strain have your eggs and sperm deep frozen. Leave instructions that they are only to be defrosted when you are dead, so you can fulfill the programming of your DNA without having to deal with all the shit (and you aren't around to ruin their lives).