2097: A Spice Odyssey
When Timothy Leary popped his last sherbert dib-dab in 1996, his final instructions were for the boys in the mortuary to make sure that he was efficiently decapitated and slung into the freezer for a century or two. Originally, Tim followed the late eighties movement of cryogenics, but in his twilight days he was well aware that the Scots were meddling with their sheep and foresaw the day when his cloned self would rise, Dolly-like, from the test-tube and he could live his life of psychedelic mayhem all over again. For Tim to peddle his brand of far-out worship far into the 21st century may seem absurd, but as many pre-millennium philosophers will tell us, anything and everything is possible. By 2097 there may be all manner of re-constituted ideologies thrown into the mix as cultural icons massage their egos to the hilt by choosing to replicate themselves. The Spice Girls may well retire in the next decade, choosing instead to have their clones fly off to gorge themselves at gala luncheons. And, naturally, by 2097 the phenomenon wont have aged a day - the original Spices will be throwing themselves around the draughty rooms of their Himalayan mansions, dressed in hair-nets and lycra nighties, and the twelfth generation Spice Clones will still putting in the hours at the Pasadena Rose Bowl (no longer a football stadium, but The International Headquarters of Girl Power Inc.). Late 20th century phenomena aside, cloning brings to bear all manner of ethical problems. They are, however, mostly redundant. In 2097, despite legislation, civil wars and promises to decommission cloning apparatus, there will still be a fleet of private operators who will ensure immortality for the highest bidder. The major resultant dilemma will not be a moral argument, it will simply come down to a matter of space. Although several attempts will have been made to construct new towns and countries in the shallow waters around the Continental Shelf, the problem of overcrowding will simply not disappear. As the average life expectancy hits the magic 100 and the birth rate surfs an astonishing curve of growth, cloning will be the straw that will break the back of the International Space Treaty. Finally, they will cave into public pressure to allow the private construction and launch of personal space craft. A modicum of restraint will, however, be introduced into the flight path by the 102-year old Association of Autonomous Astronauts. They are likely to call for a clear and detailed understanding of the psychological effects of space life, and will be awarded a grant from the IST to expand a burgeoning chain of Space Relocation Institutes. The SPIs will probably begin the training procedure with a lecture from the 250 Mile High Club, warning potential recreationalists to beware of the dangers of thrush and to always use a vacuum condom. This lecture will be of paramount importance as thrush is likely to adapt quickly to the low gravity environment and a new virus strain could soon become immune to conventional antidotes. Most independent orbital travellers (IOTAs) will avoid the stifling academia of Moon life and instead choose to spend their time at the excellent choice of pleasure resorts scattered around Siberican space (a territory formed when Alaska negotiates itself out of the union, only to be replaced swiftly by the ex-Russian frontier). Resorts will range from the stadium kareoke of U-Star to the Extreme Sports Centre where bungee-freefalling will capture the imagination of the drug-addled under 15s. Space habitation will undoubtedly take its toll on surface dwelling, due to the profound changes in consciousness that most IOTAs will undergo. Low and zero gravity and the constant orbital trajectories demand that the notions of left and right and up and down are destroyed. With the most fundamental of dimensions thus disregarded, the IOTAs will argue for the ultimate abolition of time itself. This debate is likely to be kindled sometime around the 2050s when the units of time measured in 12s, 24s and 60s become too complex for the decimalised youth to deal with and are replaced with a ten hour day and a ten day week. At this point, when radicals call for the cessation of the Christian calendar, strong fundamentalist religious movements will be re-born across the globe as the population retreats to the crutch of traditionalism. This new fundamentalism will disseminate throughout popular culture such that an unhealthy antagonism is likely to develop between the metric free-thinking of the IOTAs and the conservative inflexibility of the PASS (Persons Attached to Secure Surfaces). The historically-challenged community can only watch as the racism that they successfully abolished in the early part of the century once more raises its head. As Hogmanay 2097 dawns, the IOTA v. PASS conflict looks set to escalate. The leaders of the two factions will undoubtedly settle the dispute in the Peace Arena over a series of twenty seven physical and mental challenges. The multinational William Hill Inc are likely to give favourable odds to the free-thinking IOTA community, which will serve only to start a series of water riots of such a scale that most of Europe will undoubtedly hit by a severe drought. A call for understanding by global powers will fall on deaf ears and a more radical, alternative settlement will have to be sought. Leaders will turn to Fifi Trixibelle Geldolf III to deliver an engaging solution and on January 1st 2098 we will unquestionably see the Hologram release of Timothy Learys astonishing duet with The Spice Clones on their re-recording of the timeless classic, When 2 Become 1. Drop Off, Clone Up, Spice Out... [stuart b] | Thee World In 2097 Well well well. An interesting and always fun question- what will it be like 100 years from now? Nobody knows for sure but i have some brief predictions: ALright. First off, there is NOT going to be some stupid Apocalypse and thee world will NOT be a scrummage ov bio mechanical machines that work like rats and humans are rare or anythign stupid like that. I'm so sick ov hearing these far fetched stereotypes....one or two is great and enough but thee future i don't think will be as horrible as everybody makes it out to be. Sure, i bet they'll be a warn torn bunch ov countries just like now, new ones will have formed, new diseases, new cures, thee whole deal but i feel that we will just become a little more conservative, or thee exact opposite. I think that they'll probably be some new smaller vehicle than a car that doesn't waste natural resources as much or somethign ov thee like. I think that there will be too many people and maybe everybody will be on a one child policy? not a bad idea. I think that there will just be increased amounts ov whatever there is now. I do feel however, that humans will be more respectful ov each other's opinions. NOT BODIES. people will fuck like crazy i bet more than they do. But i think maybe people will just be a bit more accepting because ov how history goes and comes it will be a little less tension. Some other cold war will start in totally different places. Some european countries will unite due to lack ov funds. America will become less popular with thee world and a few democracies will form but will be shakey. Girls will be more beautiful but boys will be dissatisfied that they can't get any, so there will be more gay men, more hot beautiful lesbians that always tease little goth boys like myself and be bisexual and stuff only when it's convenient. India, China, and some other country will be Economic forces and america will wish they had been nicer to them. Thee internet will be even better and there will be a new medium ov thee internet, just a more easier way to access it. Video games will be thrown away and people will actually start doing shit for real. I will be dead. [kush] |