I know it was scary for him to let me do it. He was trying to show me a couple of things, those being; he loves me more than I'd ever dreamed, and he's willing to risk his health and safety to make me happy. (In his mind that's what he thinks, and he might be right; I don't think so, but he might be.) I know it could also have been a test to see if I loved him enough to pull out first. If that was the case I passed with flying colors. I told him I wouldn't shoot up his ass and I didn't. I'd almost forgotten to mention that he ate my ass for me also; that was something else that I would never have expected.

I said all of that to say this. If he is willing to do all of that, all for the purpose of showing me just how much he really loves me; I am responsible for showing him also how much I love him. I know what I have to do and somehow, someway I'm going to do it. All I have to do is go without having sex with anyone else while he's gone (at least that's the impression he gave me) and he will understand and realize that I really do love him and want him alone. I'm not going to lye and say that I don't like having the freedom to be with others if the temptation seems unbearable. The thing is he will never believe I love him if I do. So if I want him to feel that he can know I love him; I have to do this. I need also to mention the fact that he has shown himself in lieu of recent events to be more than deserving of my abstinence. I don't know for sure if I'll succeed or not; but I'll be damned if I won't give it everything I've got to try my damnedest to do it for him and for us. "So long for now."

"Patrick"