At any rate, there was a girl in the movie that one of the men had decided he had to leave behind if she wouldn't go back to Jolly old England with him. Foggy started watching her from the backside as she was walking away from the guy she was in love with but not leaving with. He said; "how could anybody give up something so easy that looks like that?" I wanted to ask him then how he was able to have screwed around with all those kids, losing his wife and son in the process. But I kept my mouth shut about it. I just gave him one of my disgusted looks as if to say once again; "why can't you ever say anything like that about me?" Why is it you always say that shit about everyone but me?" I didn't say that either. I was tired of it; I'd asked to no avail until I could simply ask no more.

The fact remained; I was still in love with him or I wouldn't have cared.

We finished watching the movie and I gave him a different set of speakers than the ones that were on my computer. I don't really use speakers very often anyway because the computer makes too much unnecessary noise with them hooked up. As he was on his way out I told him I needed to talk to him about something. I asked him if he had given any thought to where we were going from here. That was when I got the biggest shock of my life. "I have given it a lot of thought recently and I think we need to go ahead and just part friends." I come to see that I'm more strait than gay. " I don't ever want to even be touched by another guy that way again." Even the thought of just makes me sick; I just can't do it anymore." It was never supposed to be that way from the start." I was just so confused from being abused that I didn't realize till now."

I was so dumbfounded I didn't know what to say. All I really knew was that it was all a bunch of bull shit. All of the work he'd done to accept himself for who he was all those years was going down the toilet. He actually proclaimed himself to have been a heterosexual in the closet all those years. Never in my life had I ever heard anything more absurd! A homosexual or BI guy afraid to come out of the closet I can see. We don't have much support even from the gay community much less parents, family, friends and society as a whole. Straits have all the support the could ever need and then some, and he's going to expect me to fall for him being a strait guy in the closet; Bull Fucking Shit!

I had to ask him; "how do you explain away the fact and it is a fact; you've said it too many times yourself; your head turns as much for men as it does for women?"If you're anything your BI sexual; you're not strait! If you were strait that wouldn't happen at all!

"I'm looking at that to; he said" I haven't figured that out yet." I wanted to tell him so bad "you never will either." I wanted so bad to ask him if he'd forgotten about all the times he shoved me up his ass in the shower? Did he forget the times he sat on it and rode in bed very much appearing to really love every second and every burning inch of my manhood inside him" Had he forgotten the promise he'd made that he would never stop loving me? Did he forget all of the times he went down on me just as I had so many times for him? Had he forgotten the way we used to kiss each other when he came home from work those fist few months? Had he forgotten everything about the love we'd shared and the love we'd made together? If this was the case how could he was all I could ask myself; how could he?

I cried like a baby in his arms as he held me tightly. He could not admit that he didn't still love me any more than he could say he never did. The only thing I could really get out of him was that he wanted us to remain friends and that it wouldn't be fare to either one of us not to do so. The only thing that I could tell him then was" give me time." I will probably be able to do that eventually, but it's going to take a while and I don't know how long I'm going to need to work through all this. I know it's going to be a while though. I cant' just hang around you pretending not to be in love with you while your lusty eyes are looking at every good looking man and woman in site except me, and all the while; you're saying you're strait. I just can't handle it. I'm going to need some time and some space without you around.

Just remember something. If you come to your senses and realize who you really are again; you know where to find me.

He just asked if I was going to be okay. He was nearly in tears throughout the whole conversation; especially when I asked him if he'd ever really loved me. He couldn't say no. I thought he was going to cry at that point; he just kept holding back his tears, while mine continued to flow down my broken hearted face.

I remember thinking; I hope you're happy with yourself.