Schnee_Gott vs. Cadence
Schnee_Gott slides his sleeves up, groaning as they simply fall back down. Pushing them up a second time, he realizes that imaginary sleeves are hopeless and simply moves on, regardless of their position. Forgetting exactly why he is here, he strolls over to the lists laying on the table, gazing them with his eyes. Not particularly knowing how to read, he makes a big show of things, holding the papers out before him, babbling on about some random topic as if he should know what's going on. Spotting the word god, however, due to his knowledge and obsession with the beings, he soon clues on to the list of names, recognizing a few from the local stories. He points happily to the list, before realizing that he is showing these things to Cadence when he should, in fact, be sparring with the man. Emitting a growl through clenched teeth, he tries to appear angry and vicious, and thusly scare his opponent, but coming from Schnee Gott this routine looks down right idiotic. Regardless, Schnee Gott turns back to the list, holding the paper parallel to the ground with one hand. With the other, he waves his magical rum bottle in a few wide arcs, singing to it as if he were currently in a drunken slue. The rum bottle begins to glow a faint brown hue, the magics held within coming to life. Smacking the parchment, the dirty aura flows off and engulfs the paper, suspending it in mid air as Schnee Gott's hand leaves it. As the latter rushes off to hide beneath the desk, various little...people seem to hop off the paper. Each one notedly one substantial color, they seem to represent the various list of gods and goddesses. Now, the friendly, happy deities wander off about the room, content to enjoy their short lived lives as miniature manifestations. A sickly looking black figure, along with a grey hued figure, another breathed of fire, and a final miniature deity composed of what looks to be blood approach Cadence. Here before him stand Zomann, Preagord, Herad, and Cinash. The gods of War, fire, death, and evil. Needless to say, they aren't going to enjoy this little vacation from their formerly unanimated life. The little fiery being holds two tiny hands from in front of his form, blasting a beam of tiny liquid heat at the green man. The rest of the little creatures remain motionless, waiting to see if they are even needed.
Cadence giggles happily at the tiny gods until he realizes that they are out to get him. He jumps back as a string of fire shoots toward him. Cadence ponders trying to stomp on the little deities, but decides it might be better not to squash them in case they have some connection to their full sized models. Pulling out his drumsticks he beats them together in an eerie rhythm. You begin to hear noises outside the room. Nature sounds fill your ears, the pitter patter of rain, the rumbling of thunder, the rustling of leaves. The little green man seems to have disrupted the balance of weather. After a few moments where it seems that nothing else will happen, a little miniature tornado comes rushing into the room. Cadence directs it over to the place where the gods are standing and giggles as the little deities are picked up and spun around and around and breakneck speeds. Cadence ponders for a few moments and decides to just leave them there until the tornado diminishes on its own and the miniature deities are too dizzy to seek revenge. With a little grin he whistles as if calling a dog and almost instantaneously a much larger tornado rushes into the room. Books and papers and even the desk start to rattle and lift into the air. The whirling spiral of evil paper cuts and a heavy hard object heads straight toward Schnee_Gott. You have to wonder if this seemingly natural occurrence might be created to twirl just right so that all the lists and book pages aim for underneath your fingernails.
Schnee_Gott would cry at the loss of his little deities, but he didn't really have time to get to know them, so he doesn't. Instead, he retrieves his head from between his legs and stands up, defying anyone that has ever told him that he should get into the fetal position when in a situation dealing with tornadoes. Proving them right on this occasion, a piece of paper hurls towards Schnee Gott, a warning of what to come. Tearing an utterly painful paper cut across the man's forehead, Schnee Gott sets about bawling his eyes out, terrified of this new and dangerous foe. Tipping back his magically endowed rum bottle, he hurriedly drinks a few swigs of his favored drink, restoring the fear, or perhaps supplying the proper, though misplaced, courage every drunk man seems to have. Running right towards the whirl wind, his body is smacked! by the desk and sent hurling towards the wall. Not only does his body show the book case whose boss, but his rum bottle, still tightly in his grasp, gives the object a good smack. Transferring off some of the dark hued aura that still floats around the bottle, one book in particular floats out into the room, right over Schnee Gott's whining and groaning form, right towards Cadence. Stepping right out of this open book comes...The giant. Not just any giant, but The giant. Everyone knows that Jack and the bean stalk is an important story, so it just makes sense that it would happen to be in the training school. Taking in a big gulp of clean air after having been in such a dusty position for so long, the giant sucks the tornado out of existence. Looking to Cadence, the beast of a man cannot tell one human from another and sets about raising his leg into the air, preparing to crush Cadence in one step for stealing his golden goose.
Cadence wonders aloud: "Did the chicken or the egg come first?" With a decisive nod, he beckons to his drumsticks, which had moved off in the tornado, beating their own rhythm. With a wave of his hand, and an image in his mind, the sticks make out a new rhythm...one that is a very strong attraction for golden geese...sort of like the one he made to get all the rats to follow him into the sewers, but not quite..it's a bit different since it's for golden geese and not rats. Deciding that he doesn't want to rely completely on the geese showing up before he gets squashed into Cadence soup, he goes about making himself a difficult target to step on. Running in uneven circles he yells out "When in danger or in doubt, run in circles scream and shout!" After successfully avoiding two rather close stomps, a single golden goose squawks its way into the training room. Cadence runs faster, yells faster, and his drumsticks beat faster. The goose quickly lays a golden egg which very shortly produces a golden chick, which then quickly grows up and lays its own egg, all the while the first goose lays several more eggs which grow and create their own eggs. Before long, Cadence's increased reproduction time creates a large flock of golden geese. Very quickly the giant grabs one and drops his goal of stomping the poor little green man. With his golden goose, the giant shrinks back into a picture in the book. Of course, now there are rapidly reproducing flocks of golden geese which threaten to beat, smother, crush, and suffocate Schnee_Gott.
Schnee_Gott giggles happily upon seeing golden geese, rather excited and intrigued with them. He wanders over to one in particularly, holding forth a piece of moldy bread retrieved from some forgotten pocket sewn into the folds of his robe. The goose happily snaps at the bread, squishing Schnee Gott's fingers in the process. Tucking his imaginary drama queen crown onto the back of his head, Schnee Gott shoots the goose dead with an evil glare from his violet eye before turning on all the other geese, his rum bottle waving furiously in the air. Drifting from the aura left in its wake, a significant amount of the mysterious brown stuff settles down upon a certain list of rules. Transferring this certain image into Schnee Gott's mind, his wacky magics manifest that which currently is upon his mind. Coming into the room as if riding on the wind, a mounted man bustles off his horse and blows upon a whistle hanging from his neck. "Rule Three! Thou shall not harass people!" with that, he motions to a few guards who happened to follow him into the room, and they set about busily shackling up the random geese, carrying them all off in an iron barred carriage, most likely off to the gallows. Tipping his hat, the fellow slips out of the room along with his horse. Schnee Gott, in the meanwhile, has set about gathering the random golden eggs that haven't yet hatched. Laying them all in a basket acquired from the closet of this room, he pours a whole mess load of rum upon them, before turning back to Cadence. Giggling again, he hurls the basket into the air, waiting for it to flip. When it does so, the golden eggs begin to rain down, each one popping as it does so. What would come from a golden egg, except a...leprechaun! The green clad, red haired little men begin to harass Cadence with a gazillion verbal assaults, claiming that he, he, must have stolen their pot o' gold. Who knows what they may turn to next, after their verbal assaults build up into something more?
Cadence watches the little green men with interest...never having seen someone who so closely resembles himself, yet at the same time is so very different. With a little smile, Cadence yells at the top of his lungs "HARASSMENT!!!! HELP HELP I'M BEING HARASSED!" Cadence offers Schnee_Gott a triumphant grin when his mounted police man comes riding back in with a shrill sound of his whistle. The guards run around trying to catch the leprechaun’s without success. Finally they empty out their pockets and leave a trail of gold coins out the door and into their wagon. The greedy little creatures run after the trail, fighting with each other about who should get the gold. Grabbing his drumsticks, Cadence beats out a tune that drifts away before you can hear it. Suddenly the training room begins to get narrower...as do all the contents of the room. Inanimate objects take fairly well to such changes, but things like bones and organs don't do quite so nicely. Slowly things get flatter and flatter until you think they might become two dimensional. Of course Cadence is changing the subtle interactions between dimensions...the rhythmic balance that keeps dimensions in their proper form and place. Something should be done quickly, perhaps before lungs are unable to inflate, hearts are unable to beat, and Kuri becomes as flat and dead as one of Destiny's drawings before she animates them.
Schnee_Gott pulls his arm back and throws it up, smacking himself across the face. Glancing about, he realizes that this change in his reality is not due to extensive drinking. Doing what most people do in this situation, he grabs a stick and props it inbetween the two walls, snickering with glee as it snaps, before he once again realizes that the stick was his ingenious plan at stopping the change in reality. Finally, unable to do anything, he consoles himself with his rum. Bottle after bottle dance out of his sack, animated so as to save Schnee Gott the time. Each one in turn dips its head and pours its contents into Schnee Gott's open mouth, overwhelming his body into a drunken state hardly achieved by the man due to the resistance he is slowly building up towards alcohol, a sad fate destined to his people. Regardless to say, he sways in his chair, the reality changes as it so often does in his eyes. The funny man soon finds himself swimming in a sea of misty ethereal colors, undoubtedly the stomach of some beast that Schnee Gott has always wanted to explore. Whichever reality is true is negligible to the drunken mage, as this new one suits him just fine.
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