< :>

Past Hurts, Pasts Comforts and Past Despair

Disclaimer:Nope, don't own any of 'em, never claimed too, any money
being made? Gee I wish *grin*.

X Files Fan Fiction.
Sk/M/K slash rated NC17 for minor discipline,
language, angst... you get the picture.

Spoilers: Who knows...who cares...

Summary: Fox and Alex get into a fight
and Alex takes off.

Past Series

Past Tenses

Past Responses

Past Imperfect

And Therein Lies Our Past

And All That Remains Is Our Past

Repainting The Past

Past Hurts, Past Comforts and Past Despair

One

Fox yawned and shook his head as he rifled through the last of the reports. Outside the snow was falling, casting a white blanket over everything.

He glanced up at the clock, it was after three, Walter said that he would not be back until after five perhaps even closer to six, depending on the weather.

They had been living in the cabin now for a little over a month. Both Fox and Walter had decided that it was safer for Alex after the Consortium had kidnapped and tortured the ex operative.

At first Alex had enjoyed staying in the mountains, 'roughing it', as he had jokingly termed it although the cabin was very comfortable indeed.

Walter and Fox had been assigned to look after Alex, being allowed to take an unspecified amount of leave, but they were both still working on other assignments they had both had before taking their leave.

It had not been too difficult, most of what they had to do was paperwork that was easily done in the cabin, Mulder used his laptop and the Internet for research, but that had left Alex at something of a loose end.

For the past few days, he had been given to prowling around the cabin, crutch tucked securely under his arm, although lately as he slowly healed, he had been needing it less and less.

Both Walter and Fox knew that he was bored, he needed something to occupy himself, but unfortunately there was not that much to do.

There had been no new discs or files for him to decode, no reports to make to the government sub committee. And with the steady snow fall, he was not even able to go outside and walk around.

With his health still so fragile and precarious, Walter had sternly forbidden him to go out unless he really had too.

"The last thing we want is you in hospital with another bout of pneumonia." Walter had told him firmly.

Alex had nodded and agreed, but Fox had seen a flash of something...rebellion? Anger? In his green eyes, it had been there for a moment...then gone.

Fox had dismissed it as imagination...after all, Alex knew that they were only doing what was best for him.

With a sigh, he finally gathered all the files together and placed them into tray, he could sort through them later. Switching on his laptop, he went to check his email.

"What are you doing Fox?" Alex had come into the living room, he was still limping slightly, though he was not using his crutch.

"I'm just working on some stuff, nothing important." Fox replied absently.

"Oh." Alex nodded, then limped over to the couch, sitting down, he picked up an old magazine, then seeing that he had already read it, threw it down again.

"When's Walter going to be back?" He asked suddenly.

"He won't be back for another couple of hours." Fox replied as he went through his emails.

"Do you think he'll be all right?" Alex asked, he was looking out at the snow outside, it had started getting heavier.

"He'll be fine." Fox muttered. "What's this?" Alex looked up, Fox had found something.

"What is it Fox?" He asked. Fox shook his head. "I'm not sure but it looks like an email that the guys sent. The guys of course being the Lone Gunmen.

"What did they send you?" Alex stood up, wincing slightly. Fox looked over at him, and frowned. "Where's your crutches?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't need them anymore so I left them upstairs."

"I think you should get them Alex, you know that your leg's not fully healed yet."

"I said I don't need them."

Fox stopped, now that sounded like some attitude in that little sentence.

"Alex, you are still limping pretty badly." Fox said, making sure that his voice was calm and reasonable. "I think that you should still use them for another few days..."

"I don't want to Fox, so I am not going too." Alex replied, his green eyes glinting. Fox stared at him for a moment..now that was definitely attitude. But how should he handle this? With calm patience and reason, he decided.

"Alex, I don't think that it's a good idea to push yourself too hard." He replied. "After all, everything that you had been through, your body has taken a lot of punishment, at one point I did not think that you were going to pull through, The very fact that you did proves that you have an indomitable spirit, but you have to let your body heal."

Alex glared at him, Fox could see the anger and hostility in his eyes.

"I am sick of you and Walter treating me like I am some sort of cripple!" He burst out suddenly, his face reddening. "It's Alex eat this, drink that, you have to go to bed at this time, no Alex, you can't go there, it's not safe, no Alex you can't drive yet, your medication might make you fall asleep behind the wheel. I am sick of it!"

"Are you quite finished?" Fox asked coldly, eying the slightly younger man, his arms now crossed over his chest. Without realizing it, he was unconsciously mimicking Walter.

"Oh go to hell." Alex went to storm out of the room, but his bad leg chose precisely to give out on him.

Reaching out, Fox managed to steady him before he could fall.

"Alex, baby, are you all right?" Alex could see the concern in Fox's hazel eyes, and he felt his own temper fly up a notch.

"Yeah, I'm fine, doing well for a one armed cripple actually."

"Oh for the love of... Alex what the hell is wrong with you?" Fox asked, exasperated. His own temper was beginning to fray now.

Alex dragged his good arm out of Fox's grip. "Nothing, I am just sick of being treated like a cripple, that's all."

Alex Nikolai Krycek, we do not treat you like a cripple." Fox replied. His usually soft voice, stern.

"Lately you have been treating me like nothing but a cripple." Alex replied hotly, his face flushed, green eyes, glistening with unshed tears. "I am sick to fucking death of it."

"Well right now you are behaving like a brat." Fox told him. "A spoiled little child. Now sit down and tell me what the hell is the matter with you?"

"Nothing...all right, absolutely nothing. I am fine. In fact, I have decided to go back to Washington."

Fox stared at Alex wondering if the younger man had completely lost his mind. "You can't go back there yet Alex, you know it's not safe. Spender and the rest of them are probably still looking for you, and this time they will probably kill you."

"Too bad, I'm going."

"Oh don't be ridiculous!" Fox snapped, he was starting to lose all patience now. "We are all going to stay here for at least another month until we know that it's safe to take you back home. This is what the three of us agreed on...remember?"

"You and Walter agreed on it, I didn't have a say in the matter." Alex replied bitterly. "All I know is that one minute I am home, and the next I get packed up into the car like a piece of old luggage and hauled out here."

Fox sighed wearily, the last thing that he wanted...or needed right now was a all in fight with Alex, he was tired and all ready out of sorts. All he wanted to do was get back to that email from the Lone Gunmen. It looked as though they had stumbled across some UFO sightings and he wanted to check it out. And here he was wasting time in a silly argument with his lover.

"Alex, you know that's not the way it happened. You were still very sick, we thought it was best if we just quickly and quietly arranged everything so we could get you out of harm's way."

"I can look after myself you know." Alex said suddenly. He stared up at Fox, his face sullen, he was wearing that look that Fox had come to know so well, although he had not seen it in a while. It was that closed 'I am blocking you out' look.

Taking a deep breath, Fox replied evenly. "I know you can look after yourself Alex, no one said that you couldn't, but you have to admit that you have taken a couple of serious pummellings here. First you get shot and you nearly die... then you get kidnapped and tortured. Come on Alex, you have to admit that you aren't superman, you have to give yourself time to get over all this."

"Oh save your psycho babble for some sucker who'll actually swallow it." Alex sneered.

Suddenly Fox felt the colour rise up to his own face. It was that sneer that did it.

"Right Alex, I think I have had just enough of you little temper tantrum." He said. "Go upstairs and have a nap, after you wake up you might be in a better frame of mind, then we can talk about this properly...like two adults, okay?"

"If you think I am going to go to my room like a naughty little boy, forget it." Alex replied. "You can go and fuck yourself."

"I am going to count to three, if you are not up in that bed by then, I swear Alex, I'll kick you all the way up there."

"Ha, I would like to see that." Alex replied, pure contempt written across his handsome face.

"That's it Alex, I have had just about enough." Reaching out, Fox grabbed Alex's good arm and began to steer him towards the staircase.

"Fuck you Fox, I am not going!" Alex tried to dig his heels in, but it was no good. He was still very underweight, and no where near his proper strength, that and the fact that he only had one good arm and one fairly good leg, all worked against him.

He tried to swing his good arm up to hit Fox, but the fully trained FBI agent, deftly caught it and pinned it to his side.

"Up you go Alex." Fox said with a grunt as he literally hauled the young Russian over to the stairs.

"Go and screw yourself!" Alex yelled, trying to twist out of his grip. With a couple of soft curses himself, Fox tightened his grasp and soon Alex found himself mounting the stairs.

"I am not going!" Alex braced his weak legs against the floor, trying to stop Fox from being able to shift him.

Suddenly he felt a sharp stinging pain explode against his jean clad behind. "Ouch!" He yelled.

Fox spun him towards the bedroom, landing another hard slap against Alex's behind. Alex, his bottom smarting now, tried to squirm away from Fox, but he was not letting go. He marched Alex firmly over to the bed.

"Strip you things off." He said, his tone brooking on argument. Alex stared at him for a moment, then shook his head. "No."

The next thing he knew, he had been turned around and a couple more stinging swats landed on his behind.

"Now, strip you clothes off and get into this bed...now."

Sulking, Alex started to take his shirt and jeans off. "You can leave your boxers on." Fox told him.

Alex nodded, tears glistening in his eyes. Although he had been beaten many times, he had never been spanked before, this was a totally new and quite unpleasant experience for him.

Fox pulled back the covers. "Climb in." Alex balked, he was not going to allow himself, an ex assassin to let himself get treated like a child.

"Come on Alex, I haven't got all day, I still have things I have to do, now get in."

"No I won't. I don't have to Fox..." Alex searched around for something to say, then came out with... "You are not the boss of me!"

Fox had to bite down hard on his inner cheek to stop from laughing aloud at that old playground saying, something that he and his sister used to yell at each other when they had been kids. Instead he fix Alex with his sternest glare.

"I am going to count to three and if you are not in this bed and asleep in that time, young man, you are going straight over my knee for a proper paddling, got it?"

"Fuck you prick." Alex sneered filled with a false bravado, and that proved to be his undoing.

Before he knew what had happened. Alex found himself lying face down on the bed. He felt his boxers being tugged down, exposing his bare bottom.

Wrapping one arm around Alex's long lean body, Fox raised his hand and bought it down against Alex's right cheek.

The ex assassin reacted like a cat that had just been scalded. He jumped and tried to wriggle out of Fox's grasp, but he was just not strong enough.

Fox continued the spanking, his hand connecting with the pale flesh, reddening it nicely. Soon both cheeks were a nice glowing red and Alex was howling and kicking helplessly like a three year old over his papa's knee.

Finally deciding that Alex'd had enough, Fox stopped spanking him, then he helped the now crying young man into bed.

Fox quickly unstrapped Alex's fake arm and set it down on a chair near the bed. Alex turned over to settle on his stomach, too sore to lie on his back.

"Now, am I going to get any more trouble from you young man?" Fox asked. Sobbing into the pillow, Alex shook his head.

With a sigh, Fox reached out to stroke Alex's soft sable hair. "I did not want to spank you like that Alex, it's such a pretty little bottom, I could think of other things I would much rather be doing with it right now."

Alex sniffled, he turned his head to gaze at Fox, his eyes hurt and bewildered. "You've never hit me like that before." He said. Fox could hear the accusation in his voice.

Fox chuckled softly. "You must be forgetting the odd punch here and there, not to mention a headbutt once. But you are right, this is the first time I have ever had to warm your backside for you."

"Warm." Alex muttered. "It feels like I've been sitting on a red hot stove."

"Good then maybe next time you will do as you are told." Fox ruffled his hair affectionately.

"Are you still mad at me?" Alex asked suddenly, his voice sounded so small, so lost. Fox felt something loosen in his chest.

"Honey, I'm not mad at you. It's just that I won't tolerate you blowing up at me for no reason."
Fox started rubbing slow circles on Alex's long back, soothing the upset young man.

"I...I'm sorry Fox." Alex replied ruefully. "It's just that lately I have been feeling so bored... I'm not used to just sitting around on my butt doing nothing. If I don't have something to keep me occupied, I am going out to go out of my mind."

"I know that sweetheart." Fox replied gently. "But we bought you here for R&R...rest and recovery. We don't want you exhausting yourself Alex, Walter and I ...We both love you, you know that and we don't want to see you get sick again."

Alex said nothing, he simply buried his head into the pillow again.

Fox leaned over and popped a kiss on the back of his neck. "Take a nap Lexi, and when you wake up you can come back down and watch some videos or something...okay?"

"'Kay." Alex mumbled. He snuggled down further into the bed, trying to ignore the painful throb of his behind.

Fox planted another kiss, this time on Alex's cheek, and then left the bedroom, leaving him to get some rest, while he went to chase up on this email the guys had sent.

Alex waited until he heard Fox go down into the living room, then he sat up, wincing when his sore bottom connected with the mattress.

He waited for a few moments, giving Fox time to immerse himself in his work, then he quickly dressed, strapping his arm on. Carrying his shoes in his good hand, he slipped downstairs, moving with the silent stealthy grace that had made him one of the Consortium's best operatives.

He sneaked past Fox, who was busy at the computer. Alex smiled. Once Fox started chasing up a UFO, a full thermonuclear strike could happen right outside the door and he would not even look up from the monitor.

Alex went into the kitchen, moving carefully, he grabbed a pen and a pad from off the counter and quickly wrote a note, he carried it over to the fridge, and using a magnet, hung it on the door, where Walter or Fox would find it. Then opening the back door, left the cabin.

Two

It was ten to six when Walter's van finally pulled up in front of the cabin. Opening the front door, he walked into the living room.

Fox was still sitting at the table in front of his lap top, oversized glasses perched precariously on his nose.

Walter slipped up behind him, bending down to plant a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Startled, Fox looked up, then smiled.

"Hi there." Fox said with a grin. "I thought you were Lexi."

"Not unless he has started losing his hair and taken to wearing glasses recently." Walter replied with a grin. "Speaking of which, where is our little rat?"

"Must still be asleep." Fox replied. "What time is it anyway?"

Walter looked at his watch. "Nearly six," he replied.

"Oh hell, I didn't realize it was so late, I meant to get dinner on half an hour ago."

"Don't worry about it." Walter said with a grin. "I can see you hard at work," he leaned over Fox's shoulder to look at the screen. "Chasing up UFO's."

Fox shrugged. "It was something that Frohike, Langley and Byers sent me, that's all."

Walter chuckled and shook his head. "Well do you think you can tear yourself away now?"

"I think so." Fox replied with a grin. "I'll start dinner."

"Okay." Walter leaned down slightly, kissing his young lover deeply on his full lips.

Smiling, Fox walked into the kitchen, he went over to the refrigerator to take the steaks out. He saw the note hanging on the door, pinned by a smiley face magnet.

Dear Walter and Fox... I have decided that I need to have some time alone. I am sorry I know that you will be disappointed with me, but I have to go. Please don't look for me. Please remember that I love you both.

Alex

"Oh my God...Walter..." Fox yelled. "Walter, come quick...it's Alex, he's gone!"

Walter came racing into the kitchen, moving surprisingly fast for such a big man.

"Fox, what is it?"

Wordlessly, Fox handed Walter the note. The older man read it, his face paling.

"Jesus Christ." He breathed. "What would make him do a thing like this?"

Fox stared at Walter for a moment, then down at the note, his face devoid of colour, except for two hectic spots in his cheeks.

"Oh shit Walter...what have I done?"

Walter stared at him for a moment. "Fox, what are you talking about?"

"Oh my God." Fox looked up at the bigger man, his eyes huge with misery. "It's my fault Walter, I'm the reason why he ran away."

"Fox, what the hell are you talking about?" Walter asked him, no longer being able to mask his impatience any longer.

As quickly as he could, Fox explained to Walter what had happened earlier.

Walter listened patiently. The he replied. "Fox, what was our agreement? Remember when we first decided to take Alex into our home...our family? What did we agree on?"

"That neither of us would ever use physical force against Alex...ever."

"And why did we agree on that?"

"Because all Alex has ever known has been physical and emotional abuse, and we were not going to continue that pattern." Fox replied, he was near to tears now.

"Then whatever possessed you to give him a spanking?" Walter asked.

Fox shook his head unhappily. "I...I lost my temper with him Walter. He was being...well you know how he can get when he's out of sorts, and I was trying to get some work done and..." Fox let the rest of the sentence trail off.

"Oh Walter, I'm so sorry." Fox could feel tears spill down his face. Suddenly he was swept up into Walter's powerful arms.

"It's all right sweetheart, don't worry, he can't have gone far. We'll find him and bring him back home, then you make it up to him...okay?"

Walter could feel Fox's head bob up and down against his shirt.

"Come on then, I had the car, so he must have decided to go on foot, probably down to the road."

"He might have managed to get a lift into the town." Fox ventured. Walter nodded.

"Come on, let's try there first."

Both men left the cabin and headed over to the van.

"Shit." Walter muttered as he climbed in behind the wheel. It had started snowing again.

"I can't believe that he would take off on foot in this weather." Walter said as he steered the van down the narrow slippery road. "There's no way he could make it all the way to town on foot, not in his condition... and not in weather like this. What the hell could he have been thinking?"

Fox sighed, staring out of the window, watching the trees as they slipped by. It was dark now, the headlights illuminated the road ahead, the lights shining off the snow covered ground.

"He's angry because he feels that I treated him like a child." He said softly.

Walter risked a glance at him, hands gripping the wheel. "I think that we have both been treating him like a child lately Fox." He said softly. "I think that we have both been at fault."

Fox shook his head, suddenly he felt so tired. All he wanted to do now was be at home with both of his lovers, curled up in front of a blazing fire, warm and contented.

"If anything happens to him Walter, it will be my fault."

Walter heaved a sigh, then emphatically shook his head. "None of this is your fault Fox. Okay, maybe spanking Alex was not the best decision you have made in a while, but it's not the end of the world either. We will find Alex, and then you can apologize to him."

Fox nodded, but Walter could see that he was still not convinced.

"He accused me of using psycho babble at him." Fox said suddenly. "And he was right, I have been using psycho babble. Walter I have been treating Lexi like a patient, not like my lover... oh shit, no wonder he's run off." Fox laid his trembling fingers to his mouth.

It hurt Walter's heart to hear the pain in Fox's voice, he knew that Fox was going to blame himself as he always did whenever anything like this happened.

Suddenly Walter felt real anger rise up inside of him. Anger at the Consortium for the way they had left Alex so insecure and emotionally unstable. Anger at Fox's parents for blaming their impressionable young son for Samantha's disappearance, and for withdrawing from him when he needed them the most.

And now it was up to Walter to try and pick up the pieces, to try and heal these two lost, hurting, heartbreakingly beautiful young men.

"We will find him Fox...I give you my word." Walter told him, his voice firm but gentle. "After all, have I ever let you down before?"

Fox offered the older man a small smile. "No Walter, you never have."

"And I am not going to now."

Fox nodded, then frowned, worried. "The snow storm's getting heavier, we have to find Alex before he freezes to death."
Walter steered the van around a particularly steep curve. They were nearly at the town now, all they could do was hope to God that Alex had been able to get a lift and that he was somewhere nice and warm now.

Three

Alex trudged down the narrow road, cursing under his breath. He had not taken his crutches, and both the long walk and the cold were taking it's toll. He was limping so badly now, he was practically lurching.

His legs and back were aching like a rotted tooth. And he was freezing. It had started to snow once more, the flakes settling on his head and shoulders, melting in his hair and dripping icily down the back of his neck.

Why did just take off? He moaned inwardly as he continued his grim march down towards the road. And why didn't you stop to pack anything before you left?

He was dressed only in his jeans, a jumper and his leather jacket, hardly protection against this kind of weather.

"It's because you are a spoiled brat Alex." He whispered to himself harshly. "You acted like a spoiled brat and you got your butt tanned for it, and how do you react...by running away. Real mature Alex... real mature."

He stopped, gazing around the white frozen landscape, trying to get his bearings. He had been walking for at least a couple of hours now and he should have made it to the road by now.

Suddenly, the snow started falling harder, the wind whipping up, blowing the snow in his face, stinging his unprotected eyes and cheeks.

"Shit." He gasped, trying to wipe the snow out of his eyes, he had not even stopped to grab a pair of gloves. He had figured that he would be able to walk to the road and grab a lift from some passing motorist, then anything he needed, he would simply buy in the town. Only there had been no motorists, passing or otherwise, and then to add to the fun, a sudden snowstorm had hit.

Alex sighed, well there was no use cursing himself for the idiot that he was now. Perhaps he could make it back to the cabin before Fox or Walter realized he was gone. Then he remembered the note he had left on the fridge.

Oh hell, they would have found that by now. Alex stopped, tears stinging at the back of his eyes. What was he going to do? If he tried to get to the road, he would probably end up getting lost in the storm and freeze to death. Dying of hypothermia was exactly on his list of things to do toady.

But if he went home Fox would probably give him another spanking for running away. Alex's hand strayed to his still sore bottom. He definitely did not want that to happen again, although somewhere at the back of his mind, he knew he deserved it.

"You don't deserve to have people that care about you Alex." He muttered unhappily. "It would serve you right if you died out here, unmourned and unloved."

Slowly, his bones aching with the cold, he moved down the track, towards the main road.

It was nearly dark now, thick clouds, somber and heavy with snow scudded across the sky, Alex stepped out from between a couple snow blanketed trees, onto the main road. He had made it.

There should be more traffic on this road, he reasoned, it led straight into town.

Hands tucked in his jacket, he trudged along the road, he knew he must look a sight, snow melting in his longish hair, clothes wet from wading through the muddy slush back in the forest. All he could hope for was that some good Samaritan would stop.

Suddenly twin headlights illuminated the road ahead. Silently praying, Alex stuck his thumb out. The van pulled over and both the doors opened.

"Alex!" Fox and Walter both raced over to where the stunned young man was standing, thumb still out.

The next thing he knew, he was bundled into the backseat of the van. Walter had grabbed an old blanket that he had in the back and wrapped it around Alex's slender shoulders.

"Jesus, he's half frozen, let's get him back home." Alex heard him say.

Fox climbed in beside Alex, he began rubbing his arms and legs briskly, trying to get some feeling back into his frost bitten limbs.

Walter threw the van in gear and turned it around, heading back to the cabin.

Teeth chattering, Alex laid his head against Fox's shoulder. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

Fox smiled, happy and relieved to have his beautiful young lover back.

"So am I Lexi, now let's get you home where you belong."

Four

Alex was lying stretched out in the bath, soaking in the hot scented water. Fox had bought him up a cup of hot soup, making him drink it. Alex obediently finished every drop, even though he really did not like soup that much. He had handed the cup back to him thanking Fox almost demurely.

Amused, Fox had taken the cup, leaning forward to kiss his Lexi's mouth. Turned his face up to be kissed, green eyes half closed contentment written all over his face... that and something else.

"What's wrong Lexi?" Fox asked, running the back of his hand down Alex's cheek. The younger man looked away. "Nothing." He mumbled.

Fox sighed. "Alex, I am sorry about what happened before, I had no right to hurt you like that. It's just that I...I lost my temper with you, but that is absolutely no reason to do what I did. Will you forgive me?"

Fox watched as the colour crept into Alex's cheeks. "Can I get out of the bath now?"

"Sure sweetheart." Fox grabbed a warm fluffy towel and wrapped it around Alex as he helped him out of the bath.

Walter walked into the bedroom just as Fox was helping Alex to dress. He had made sure that Alex had put on the warmest sweat suit that he had.

"We have to keep your body temperature up Alex, you are still suffering the effects of hypothermia not to mention some pretty good patches of frostbite on your fingers and toes."

Ashamed, Alex nodded. He knew he as dammed lucky still have them, if it had been any worse. He had already lost an arm, he certainly did not want to lose any more body parts.

"How are you feeling baby?" Walter asked, drawing Alex into his arms, holding him securely.

That was too much for Alex, already on the point of exhaustion. Leaning his head against Walter's strong shoulder, he wept, tear streaming down his face.

Both Walter and Fox tried to comfort him, but Alex was inconsolable, he clung to Walter like a tired child. Finally, his tears subsided, he lay his head against Walter, feeling the smooth crisp shirt, listening to his heart beating in his broad, well muscled chest.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered miserably. "I am so so sorry for everything."

"It's all right Alex." Walter crooned, stroking his damp hair. "You're back home now, you're safe."

He felt Alex nod wearily against his chest. "Safe," he mumbled.

"That's right sweetheart, you're safe."

Five

Alex lay on the couch, sleepily watching the flames as they licked at the blackened logs, casting dancing shadows in the back of the fireplace.

He could hear Fox and Walter moving around the kitchen, talking in low tones as they washed the dishes, after their late supper.

He wondered what they were talking about, then his stomach lurched, maybe they were talking about him. Perhaps they were discussing what to do now that Alex had proved to be so much trouble.

Perhaps they were deciding the best way to tell Alex to leave.

"They are right, I am too much trouble." All of Alex's basic insecurities had surfaced. Slowly he sat up, swinging his legs off the couch.

Just then, both Walter and Fox entered the living room. They were carrying mugs of hot chocolate.

"Still awake sweetheart." Walter said as he handed one of the mug to Alex.

Alex nodded, he looked at both of the men he loved, misery written on his face.

Fox sat down beside Alex, concerned. "What is it Lexi?" He asked. Alex set the mug down onto the coffee table in front of him.

"I know that you are both angry with me." He whispered. "I'm sorry that I ran off and worried you both so much. It was wrong and selfish of me...especially after everything that you have both done for me."

Walter settled himself on the other side of Alex, taking the younger man's hand in his own larger one.

"Alex you don't owe us anything, you are here with us because we love you, because we want you to be here. We can't make you stay against your will Alex, you are not a prisoner. You need to understand this. We are not going to force you to stay if you don't want to."

"Do you want me to leave?" Alex asked, he looked from one man to the other, a feeling of cold fear creeping up through his stomach.

"No Alex." Walter told him kindly. "No we both want you to stay."

"Even after all the trouble I caused?"

"That was my fault Lexi." Fox replied, he looked at his young lover, Alex could see the shame and unhappiness in Fox's expressive face.

Suddenly Alex was the one that felt shame. This was not Fox's fault, this was his He had been the one to start the fight, he was the one that provoked Fox into spanking him, and he was the one that had ran away, in the middle of a snow storm with nothing but the clothes he was wearing, and why, because his pride had been wounded. Walter and Fox could have had an accident, driving out in the dark, in the middle of a snow storm looking for him. If their car had skidded off the road...it would have been his doing.

"I'm still wild." He whispered suddenly. He looked up at Fox and Walter. "I am still wild." He repeated.

Walter chuckled. "Well I won't argue with you there baby." He replied. "You do have a wild streak all right. Going out in a storm without boots or gloves, it's a wonder you got as far as you did."

Alex drew a deep breath, then he replied. "When I was a trainee at the Center...Lucas once said that I had a wild streak, that I needed to be tamed...domesticated. I used to hate it when he'd say that, but you know something, he's right, I do need to be domesticated."

"And lose our Lexi? I don't think so." Fox replied with a laugh, he turned to Walter. "There's no chance of taming our Alex here, is there?"

Instead of the laugh and the agreement that Fox expected, Walter looked first at Fox, then Alex, his face grave and thoughtful.

Then he said quietly. "You are right you know Alex, what you did tonight, you could have died out there, what you did was..."

"Reckless." Alex finished for him. "I know, that's what made me one of the best operatives you see. I didn't care how much danger I was in, I would just rush in head first. I think half the time it was only sheer blind dumb luck that kept me alive."

"Then I think it might be time for a slight change in strategy."

Both the younger men turned to look at Walter, Fox was starting to get a creeping feeling of unease in the pit of his stomach, something he had not felt for a while.

"What do you mean Walter?" He asked.

"I mean, I think that what Alex needs is structure." He glanced over at Alex, who blushed and quickly looked away.

Fox frowned. "But we are giving him structure...aren't we?"

"I thought we were, but obviously it was not enough."

Fox sighed, then laying his arm gently around Alex's shoulders, asked. "Then what do you suggest Walter?"

"I think some new rules might be in order." Walter replied. Alex glanced up at him nervously. "What kind of rules?" He asked, both Walter and Fox heard the tremour in his voice.

"Alex, what Fox and I are going to do is this, while you are with us we are going to take care of you, and while you are still an equal in this relationship, there are some rules that you are going to have to live by. These same rules will apply to both Fox and myself as well."

Biting his lower lip, Alex nodded.

"First of all Alex, you never ever take off like that. If you want to leave, that's fine, I told you before, you are not a prisoner here, but you don't just up and disappear in the middle of a snow storm."

Alex looked down studying his feet. "Okay". He whispered.

"Second of all, while you are still recovering you will get plenty of rest and you will take your meds without a fuss, and you won't go picking fights with either Fox or myself because you are bored or upset. If there is something bothering you sweetheart, tell us so we can sit down and sort it out together, is that understood?"

"Absolutely." Alex replied, Fox smiled at him, pulling Alex closer to comfort him, Alex laid his head on Fox's shoulder, the contact making him feel a little better.

"And third of all Alex...and this is the most important of all." Walter said, his face utterly serious. "You have to trust Fox and myself. Everything we do Alex, we are doing for you, because we both love you...and we care about you. Fox lost his temper and he spanked you, and while I am not happy that he did that, I think in one way it might have done you some good."

Alex sighed, then after a moment, he nodded. "I guess I have been acting like a brat lately, haven't I?"

"We know you are bored, and frustrated Alex, but you have to give your body time to heal and get healthy and strong again." Fox told him, stroking his hair.

"I know." Alex replied. "It's just that I have never had anyone look after me before, when I was with the Consortium, if I got hurt or sick, the doctors there would heal me, but they didn't care, to them it was just a job. I was a drone, if I died, there were plenty more to replace me."

"It's not like that anymore Alex." Walter told him, his voice gentle, but firm. "You have us now baby and we are going to love you and look after you, you never have to worry about being alone ever again."

Alex felt something in his chest expand, he smiled up at Fox and Walter, tears of happiness and gratitude shining in his eyes.

"I'm glad that you both found me out there." He said softly. "And I am glad you bought me home."

"And this is your home Alex." Walter replied. "Don't you ever forget that."

Five

Alex lay between his two beloveds fully sated after being made love to quite thoroughly. Walter held him in his arms, while Fox curled up, spooning Alex, his arm thrown over Alex's slender waist.

They listened drowsily to the wind as it howled through the trees, while they lay warm in each other's arms.

"Sounds like we are in for more snow." Walter said.

Alex smiled lazily, and curled around him like a cat. "Well I promise I won't try hitch hiking in the middle of it tomorrow."

"That's good Alex, because you know why?"

"Why?" he mumbled sleepily.

"If you do, I'll bring you right back home again and spank you myself... got it."

Alex's eyes sprang open. He sat straight up, dislodging Fox's arm.

"Walter...you wouldn't."

Both Fox and Walter replied in unison. "Oh yes we would."

Gulping nervously, Alex settled back down under the covers, deciding that he had better on his best behaviour... for the next few days at least.

END

Adult and Slash Index Page

Adult and Slash Page

Secret Annex

General Fan Fiction Page

What's New Page

HOME