Author's Notes: Thanks to our beta's Python Chick & Cestruma for chapters 1/2/3. And thanks also to Wyrdin for becoming our regular beta for WIWI.
Richess' Dedication: I'd like to thank Valerie for helping me on this fic. And to my hunnies. And to Scott for his e-mail and for wanting to help. This is also for Deli, and especially Lisa. And last but not least to Miss Binks, this began as our first co-write and although it has been a long process I think the results will pay off. you have been a great friend and you are a brilliant writer.
Miss Binks' Dedication: This is for Richess, who kept me writing with her dazzling imagination and Cestruma, the world's best beta.
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Part One
As Buffy walked quickly up the hill, she saw Angel standing on the edge of the cliff, looking out towards the east, over the town. He was waiting for the sun to rise. Her knees became weak seeing him standing there, waiting to die. She had once cursed the fact that he had returned from hell, just as she was beginning to get over him, but seeing him here, about to leave this world forever, she knew that she would never be able to live without him. Even if their relationship brought only pain, she had to have him in her life. Always.
"Angel?" He turned toward her, startled by her presence, and then turned back towards the open sky. The sky was turning that royal blue colour that heralded the coming dawn. The sight of the sky made her feel on the verge of panicking, but Angel was calm and resigned, and for the first time, Buffy knew that he was serious. He was standing in front of her, waiting to die.
"Angel, you have to come inside." She walked towards him slowly. He had frightened her so much when she had seen him in her room. He was in such pain, she could see it in his eyes, and it hurt her physically to see him that way. For a moment, she couldn't tell who she was talking to, Angel or Angelus and the blurring of the line between the man that she loved and his evil alter ego made her nervous.
"I bet half the kids down there are already awake. Lying in their beds, sneaking downstairs…" Angel looked up at the stars that soon would be gone, replaced by the lightening sky. "…waiting for day."
Buffy saw the resigned look on her lover's face and began to panic. "Angel, I need you to get inside. There's only a few minutes left-"
"I know. I can smell the sunrise long before it comes."
Buffy moved towards him so that she was standing at his side, looking up at him. "I don't have time to explain this. You have to trust me. That thing that was haunting you…"
"It wasn't haunting me. It was just showing me."
"Showing you…" Buffy was confused. She knew that the First had been showing Angel the victims from his past, but what else had it been showing him?
He turned towards her and the haunted look in his face; the pain that resided in his eyes was almost too much for her to bear. As much as she wanted to look away from him, she couldn't. She had to convince him to go inside. He couldn't die out here, not like this. Buffy knew that she couldn't survive mourning him again. "What I am."
"Were."
"And ever shall be. I wanted to know why I was back. Now I do."
She began to cry as she realized how resolved he was at ending his existence. "You don't know. What, some great honking evil takes credit for bringing you back and you buy it? You just give up?"
"I can't do it again, Buffy. I can't become a killer."
"Then you fight it!"
"It's too hard." Angel shouted at her, his voice cracking at the end.
Buffy began to panic as she saw the sky lighten. "Angel, please. Just come inside."
Angel turned to look at her. He tried to make her understand the danger that she faced if he did not burn. "It told me to kill you. You were in the dream, you know -- it told me to take you, to lose my soul in you and become a monster again."
"I know what it told you. Why does it matter?"
"Because I wanted to!" Angel was shouting now, but while his words were angry, Buffy could see the shimmer of tears in his eyes. "Because I want you so badly. I want to take comfort in you and I know it'll cost me my soul and a part of me doesn't care. I'm weak. I've never been anything else. It's not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy, it's the man."
"You're weak. Everybody is. Everybody fails. Maybe this evil power did bring you back, but if it did, it's because it needs you. And that means you can hurt it. You have the power to do real good, Angel, to make amends. But if you die now, then all you ever were was a monster."
Angel just stood there, his back to her, his face turned up towards the violet sky.
"Angel…the sun is coming out…"
"Just go."
"I won't."
Angel turned to her again, his anger at her stubbornness rising. "You think this is simple? You think there's an answer? You can never understand what I've done. Now go!"
"You're not staying here! I won't let you." Buffy finally lost her patience. If she couldn't convince him to come inside, then she would have to force him. She grabbed his arm, and he shook her off.
"Leave!"
Buffy was done being nice. She punched him in the face and he pushed her away, sending her to the ground. She hit the rocky soil hard and winced as her head bounced against a rock. Angel moved over to her, grabbing her roughly into his arms, hurting her as he pulled her towards him.
"Am I a thing worth saving? Am I a righteous man? Do you know what my entire body and mind are yelling to me right now? Do it, take her, drain her. Is that what you want, Buffy? Do you really want me to kill you?" He shook her as she began to cry in his arms. He knew that he was hurting her, but he had to make her see, he had to scare her into letting him go.
He felt his face change as the demon came forth. He looked down at her, sobbing in his arms and his vampire senses activated. He could smell the rich, hot blood pumping through her body, could smell the fear that so excited his demon self.
She looked at him, saw his demon features and the excitement in his eyes and turned her head away, not wanting to see what he really was. Angel looked down at her exposed neck and closed his eyes, trying to control the demon in him that demanded blood. As his eyes slid shut, he could see the dream that they had shared. He could feel her in his arms, her warm limbs surrounding his cold body. He tried to shake off the dream, to open his eyes and let Buffy go, but he was trapped. All he could do is feel himself inside her, hear her moans, taste her skin.
He revelled in the dream, knowing that it would be the last time that he would ever be this close to her again. He felt the demon come forth at the moment of true happiness and he felt his fangs lengthen against the fragile skin of her neck. He smelled fear on her, mingled with the smell of sex and he licked the moist skin, savouring the salty taste. He could hear her voice, reaching his ears as if she was a long distance away.
"No Angel, please."
He tried again to break away from the dream, but he was too happy here, in her arms, surrounded by the silk sheets. He struggled to control himself, but he couldn't fight the demon that was telling him to feed. He wanted her too much, and the truth was, not only was the demon screaming for her blood, but his soul wanted to taste her too. He lost himself in her scent and bit through the fragile skin.
He moaned as the first drops of her coppery blood filled his mouth and then all rational thought ceased. All that he knew was the feel of her naked body and the taste of her powerful blood. He drank greedily savouring each russet drop that filled his mouth. As he felt her breathing slow, he opened his eyes, expecting to see Buffy as she had been in the dream, naked and flushed against the white sheets. Instead, saw her limp body laying on the dusty ground, her eyes shut and her neck torn open.
Angel screamed as he realized what he had done. He shook her violently, trying to wake her, to get her to open her eyes.
"Buffy, please no. Wake up, please, open your eyes." Angel could hear a raspy voice shouting over and over again, and he longed for the voice to stop, to be quiet so that he could hear her breathing. Dimly he realized that the voice was his, and the voice trailed off, replaced by sobs.
He shook her again but she only flopped mindlessly in his arms. He could still hear her heartbeat, but it was weakening, each beat sounding farther and farther apart. He didn't think, only acted as he tore open his wrist with his own teeth and laid the bleeding flesh over her mouth. As the blood hit her mouth, she at last moved and clutched his wrist, drinking in the coppery fluid. He couldn't think about what he was turning her into, all he knew was that she wouldn't die, that she couldn't die.
She drank until he felt his own body weaken and he pulled her mouth away from his wrist and lay back, gasping for unnecessary breath. He looked at her as her eyes slid shut and her chest stopped moving. The pounding that he had heard in his mind and in his heart stopped, and she lay there, dead. He fell over her lifeless body, sobbing as he realized what he had done. He gathered her into his arms, and whispered to her repeatedly, "Buffy, I'm sorry. God, I am so sorry."
Part Two
"So how long has Buffy been gone?" Giles asked as he walked into the Summers' house.
"She's been gone for a couple of hours, Mr. Giles, and I'm starting to get worried." Joyce said, concerned. She had a sinking feeling that something was wrong. She sat down on the sofa, quietly staring at the weather report.
"Did she say where she was going?" Giles asked Faith, ushering her to the dining room out of Joyce's earshot.
"She said that she had to do something and that Angel was here. She seemed pretty freaked out and rushed out the door. That was over two hours ago." the dark-haired Slayer answered.
A wave of dread passed over Giles making him almost nauseous, "Oh my God. She came to see me but she never told me that…"
"Yeah, he was here in her room or something and she was just freaked and wanted me to stay here with Joyce." Faith informed Giles.
Xander huffed as he burst threw the door. "I had a hell of a time getting here. Snow is actually fun for, like, a second and then it's crappy the next. What's the big crisis?"
Xander shook off his jacket and hung it in the closet as Giles and Faith began to explain the events of the night.
His plan was perfect.
He hoped the invite was still valid. That her little witch friend hadn't revoked it.
Everything that went wrong in his unlife over the last two years was her fault.
And now his plan was going to work. Buffy was going to be his third Slayer. He waited for her, intently, to walk into her house, unsuspecting and feeling secure.
Spike smiled. His plan was going to work; he just had to be patient.
Angel cried the whole journey, carrying Buffy. He cradled her close to him and could feel the coldness and stiffness in her body. He nearly tripped going up the first step on the porch and that's when the door swung open.
Joyce yanked open the door hearing the noise expecting to see Buffy walking up the stairs. Instead, she saw her daughter's lifeless body in the arms of the man that her daughter loved.
"Oh no. Noooo." Joyce gasped. She saw the torn flesh on her neck and panic swept through her. "NOOOOOOO!"
Faith was the first to Joyce's side.
Angel's throat felt dry as his voice croaked, "I'm sorry. I'm soooo sorry."
"You fucking son-of-a-bitch." Faith yelled as she heard Joyce's cries of fright, and saw Buffy in Angel's arms. Tears stained his face.
Xander grabbed Buffy away from Angel as Faith's anger boiled.
"You did this to my daughter?" Joyce looked at Buffy's lifeless body cradled in Xander's arms.
"Joyce I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"
Giles punched Angel in the face. The vampire staggered backward.
"She trusted you again and YOU did this to her." Giles advanced angrily as Joyce openly wept, stroking Buffy's face.
"Noooooo. Oh God no." Joyce said as she saw the dried blood at the corners of Buffy's mouth.
Xander looked at Buffy and realized what Angel had done. "Giles, he made her feed."
"You're dust." Faith yelled as she charged at Angel. The Slayer and the vampire tumbled through the doorway to the porch and then onto the floor.
Spike couldn't believe what was unfolding before his eyes. He knew this girl must have been the new Slayer. She was a fury of fire. He had seen Angel carrying something. But he wasn't exactly sure what it was. He kept his Desoto at the end of the block and watched as the event unfolded before his eyes. Two scuffed black boots hit the dash as Spike sat back and watched the show. He rustled through the many pockets of his duster before he found what he was searching for. A click, followed by a hiss sounded as he lit a cigarette, his hand cupping the flame, not to protect it from the wind, but to keep the light from escaping the darkness of the car. He screwed lid from a battered silver flask and took a deep pull, the harsh whiskey warming his cool body.
The battle began with a flurry of distant movement and Spike inhaled the smoke and watched the furious slayer and the shamed vampire exchange blows. From his seat across the street, Spike could tell only one person was going to walk away.
Angel tried to block the fury of kicks and punches.
"Faith, please." Angel pleaded.
Faith gave Angel a hard right to his jaw, and then pulled a stake out of her boot.
"B trusted you. She loved you," Faith punched him again, and he began to cry at her words. He looked up at Faith who had a cold expression on her face one of pure hatred. A single tear streamed down her cheek. "She fought me for you. She went after you to help you and this is what you do to her. Turn her into something that she hates and that I'll have to kill."
"No," Angel pleaded. "Willow can give her back her soul."
"Well, I see we had this planned out, huh?" Faith said with bitterness in her voice. She gave Angel a vicious kick to the ribs and then punched him twice in the face.
"Please, Faith, we need to save her. Before…"
"Before what? She becomes a cold-blooded killer like you? I gotta stake her for that, thanks to you." Faith spat out as she punched Angel again. He lay on the lawn, not moving, not fighting back.
"Fight, you son-of-a-bitch, FIGHT!" Faith yelled at him. Angel slowly picked himself up off the ground. Joyce's hysterical cries could still be heard inside the house. "You did this, and you're gonna pay."
Faith lunged at Angel with her stake. Angel dodged her attempt and slammed his fist into her back, knocking Faith to the ground, who quickly recovered.
"We need to focus on Buffy," he sighed with emotion laced in his voice. " I'm so sorry."
"You said that already. And, yet, It still doesn't seem to phase me." Faith charged at the vampire, who swung her around, her shoulder slamming into the large oak tree on the Summers' lawn.
Angel advanced on Faith, who quickly recovered. She kicked her leg back and caught Angel in the throat with her heel. The vampire staggered back.
Giles walked out on the porch, crossbow in hand to see Faith and Angel in a battle to the death. And Giles knew who would win this battle. His heart lurched as he thought of Angel taking away yet another person he'd loved. First Jenny, now his Slayer. He leveled the crossbow, waiting for an opportunity and cringed as he heard Joyce begging for Buffy to wake up.
Faith turned toward the vampire, gave him a scissor kick to the face, and then swept his feet out from underneath him. Angel's head hit the concrete of the driveway stunning him. Faith jumped on top of him straddling the vampire.
"What were her last words to you, huh? 'Angel please stop'? Or did she even have a chance to say anything, Angelus." Faith blared.
"No, Faith, please. I'm still Angel. Not Angelus. I still have a soul."
"To tell you the truth," Faith paused, driving the stake into the Angel's heart. "I don't care."
He looked down at the piece of wood embedded in his body and then up at the hatred in her eyes. And that was the last thing he would ever see.
Spike watched as Angel turned into a pile of dust underneath the new Slayer. Spike smiled at the unfolding events.
"Whatever Angel just brought in that house cost him his undead life. And what could that have been?" Spike thought aloud as he got out of his Desoto.
* ~ * ~ *
Continued....
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