[In the comfortable, homely residence of one Andrew Mucha, three
young men are about to partake in a rare and dangerous ritual
that will test their mental and fortitude and physical stamina
to the utmost. They are about to be pushed to their limits and
beyond, by forces they do not fully understand.]
[They are about to commence an out-of-order Evangelion
marathon.]
John: (on the couch) Popcorn?
Jared: (hefts a bowl of the snack food that could feed a small country
for weeks) Here.
John: Tapes?
Andy: (eyes closed, holding a white VHS cassette in the air) Here.
Jared: Are we spiritually prepared?
[John stares at Jared, then moves a little further away. Andy
just frowns, his eyes still closed.]
Andy: What ever.
John: (in his best Raiden voice) Now, for the challenge of the ages...
Andy: It's guess the episode time! (opens his eyes, looks at the tape,
nods to himself, and begins feeding it into the VCR)
[Jared hands the popcorn to John, who starts munching on the
buttery goodness. Jared snatches the huge multi-device remote
from the coffee table as Andy pushes the tape home. His finger
descends on the chosen button with laser-like precision and...]
[White out.]
________________________________________________________________________
"No, it was not a mistake. It was more like a shared
hallucination of the senses. It was powerful. It was
destiny. It was adventure. It was... fun." - Andy.
________________________________________________________________________
Insanity Productions is ashamed to present...
________________________________________________________________________
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...
it... ah... aheh heh... I can't remember the rest. Well,
Andy and Jared beat the crap out of each other and I,
being the kind soul I am, brought them back here... To
NERV. What am I thinking?!!" - John.
________________________________________________________________________
A work of Three Goons by Three Goons
________________________________________________________________________
"Jared, please do not spike the N2 mine." - Ritsuko.
________________________________________________________________________
Staring The Three Goons (c)
________________________________________________________________________
TITLE FLASH:
Three Goons
Hope is for the Foolish /
Who, What, Where, and Does that Come with Chocolate?
________________________________________________________________________
Jared: (stares at the remote control in his hand) What the hell?!
[John is sitting on the ground next to him. The two are no
longer on a couch, or in a house, but are sitting on a patch of
grass on the side of a hill. A warm breeze blows from the east,
the sun setting to their left in the western sky. The bowl of
popcorn is gone, but a fistful of the food is still clutched in
John's shaking hand.]
John: What just happened?
[Andy is standing in front of the two, his arms folded over his
chest and a look of shock on his face. After a moment, he starts
whistling the the X-Files theme.]
John: (casually) Andy. Stop or I will personally kill you with my bare
hands.
[Andy, towering over John, glares down at his friends. Jared
stares at the remote for a few seconds and clambers to his feet,
looking over the horizon past Andy. John breaks the staring
contest with Andy after a few seconds and also gets to his feet,
looking at whatever Jared has seen. Andy glares at the both of
them for a minute before turning around to see what they're
looking at.]
Andy: Well, we aren't in Kansas anymore.
[Understatement of the Year Award is hereby given to Andrew
Mucha for his excellent comment.]
Andy: (tearful) I'd like to thank the Academy...
Author: Can it. I have a fic to write.
Jared: (snapping) Kansas? We don't live in Kansas. I've never even BEEN
to Kansas! I DON'T SEE ANY KANSIANS AROUND HERE! WE'RE IN JAPAN!!!
John: 'Kansians'?
Andy: Well, anyone up for a refund?
[Cicadas hum in the background. John turns to Jared.]
John: Jared?
Jared: (recovering his composure slowly) Yes?
Andy: This always happens when you hog the remote!
[John opens his mouth and the real curse-fest begins....]
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
End Prologue
Next Episode: (Jared Voice Over) Well, that's how it started. Where will
we go from here? (shot of Unit-02, up close... VERY close) Perhaps
things will get better... (shot of the Goons running from Unit-02)
Perhaps things will get worse... (short of John strapped to a gourney,
covered in blood) Whatever the case, BE THERE!
Ver 1.0 Jul 6, 2001
Ver 1.1 Jun 25, 2002
Ver 1.2 Sep 17, 2002 (
geocities.com/rick_spiff)