DISCLAIMER: This is going nowhere. We are not plotting to over-
throw the government. Huh? What? Oh, we're doing Three Goons
now. Well... I had that paper here somewhere... Oh yeah, this
has Eva and... stuff in it. Right? Right?! Guys!
WARNING: We act like ourselves (pretty much), but we are not, by
any means, insane. Urk... must... not... laugh... BUWAHAHAHA!!!
BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HA! Hey, I feel better... where was I?
Oh yeah, don't try this at home, or while in a mental
institution, work place, government office, etc.
NOTE: This is a Tag Team self-insertion fan-fiction. One result
of this is this little header, which is written by a different
person than the one who wrote this chapter, who will write a
later chapter that I will have little involvement in besides
giving some support to the poor sap while he tries to fix up the
wreck I've made of the story line. BUWAHAHAHA!!! I gotta lay off
the Dew, I know.(1)
________________________________________________________________________
[The opening scene shows the Goons (those three guys from the
last part? You didn't read the last part? What are you doing
here?! Get back there and read it!!!) wandering through a
deserted yet picturesque area at the fringes Tokyo-3.(2)
Everything in the city below looks just as Tokyo in their world
would look, if one cleaned up all the trash and washed the
buildings and spread everything out and modernized the roads
and... Hell, Tokyo isn't even in a valley, is it? In any case,
it doesn't look anything like the Tokyo in their world.]
[The total absence of human life in the city isn't lost on them
either.(3)]
Jared: (yelling at John) My fault?!!
[Then again...(4)]
John: (yelling at Jared) You're holding the remote!
Jared: But you were the one insisting we watch Eva.
John: (trying to change the subject) So what episode are we in?
Andy: (shrugging) I don't know.
John: Andy! They were your videos! You were putting in the tapes! Don't
you even know which one you put in?!
Andy: < o_0 > Um, no, I wasn't really paying attention.(5)
[While John searches for a 2x4 to use as a 'correction stick,'
Jared attempts to take stock of their situation.]
Jared: < ^_^ > We don't know if we're in Eva. We could be in Ranma or
Ghost in the Shell or Lain or any number of anime with Japan in
it.
John: That's all of them!!!
Andy: (offering) The Dragon Ball Series was in China.
[Dirty looks point at the tallest American for a moment, then
Jared gets a very concerned look on his face.]
Jared: Everybody pause and pray we aren't in some tentacle porn. In the
meantime, I suggest you two start learning Japanese.
Andy: And what do you think you're going to do?
Jared: Play the completely silent and apparently stupid Ninja side-kick
with incredible martial arts skills.
John: (rolling his eyes) How about we play a trio of clueless American
teenagers without passports or knowledge of ten words of the
language.
Jared: Hey! (counts on his fingers) Oh yeah, only nine for me.(6) I
guess you're right. Where are we again?
John: We are in Eva, so I guess we just find someone who speaks English.
Jared: Eva? I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or run screaming for the
hills.
[Andy kisses the pavement.(7)]
John: < o_0 > ...
Jared: How do you know?
Andy: (getting up) Yeah? How did you figure that out so quickly?
John: (doing some leg stretches and then points behind his friends)
Well--
[Around the Goons, the buildings start dropping into the
ground.(8)]
John: (preparing for a good dash) --there's that minor detail. The
buildings are lowering a la Tokyo-3 and _that_ I believe is an
Angel.
[Jared and Andy turn to see indeed one of the Angels.(9) Unit-01
appears on the scene shortly and starts tangling with it. It is
soon joined by the blue and red Evas.(10)]
Jared: (looks at Andy) If we live through this, I am _so_ going to kill
you.(11)
[The two Americans join their friend in the daunting task of
running as fast as possible in the other direction, screaming
their fool heads off.]
________________________________________________________________________
TITLE FLASH:
Three Goons
Who was that Masked Man? /
Unfamiliar Everything(54)
________________________________________________________________________
[Deep underground, Major Katsuragi(12) perks up her ears,
listening to the external microphones on the Evas,(13) while
still keeping one eye on the combat area.]
Misato: (thinking) That sounds like civilians screaming. (out loud)
Asuka, go over to the park and check for anyone that hasn't made
it to a shelter.(14)
Asuka: < -_- > (through the comm) Do I look like a recovery crew to you?
Misato: Just do it.
[Unit-02 breaks from the battle with Asuka grumbling the entire
way. As she reaches the park, she notices the figures on the
ground and engages a magnification mechanism built into the
plug.]
[Meanwhile, at ground level...]
Jared: (yelling) It is the goddess!!!(15)
[Back at the base.]
Asuka: (picked up over the comm) I can see three people. They look
American. One of them is bowing to my Unit-02 though. Probably
nuts or something.
Misato: Well, they aren't in any danger right there, I'll have a med
crew come check them out though. And mind the Angel.
[Ground level...]
John: Andy, quick check, Asuka is American right?
Andy: Actually, I think she's German.
Jared: No, he's right. Asuka is American but with Japanese and German
heritage. She was returning from Germany where she went to school
and lived with her... was it adoptive mother or grandmother?(16)
John: (getting to the point) So can she understand us?
Jared: < ^_^ > Well, you could try swearing at her in English and if she
kills you, John, then we have our answer.
John: < -_- > Shut up, Jared.
Jared: < ^_^ > Bite me.
John: (making threatening advances towards his associate) Maybe I will
this time.
Jared: < 0_0; > ...
Asuka: (from within Unit-02) Um, I think that they'll kill each other
before the med team gets there, Misato.
Jared: Alright, stand back. (turning toward the mecha, and shouting up
the red monstrosity) Hey, hot stuff! How about you, me, a can or
two of whipped cream, some cherries, and a nice private place for
the night?
Asuka: (eyes bug out) Uggh! What a PERVERT! I'll kill them myself!!!
Jared: (innocent, clueless look) Who, me?
John: < -_- > Where's my baseball bat when I need it?(17)
[As the size 200 foot crashes into the ground next to them, the
Americans refuse to even flinch.]
Andy: < o_o > Successful test?
Jared: < o_o > Indeed, now how do we survive?
Andy: < o_o > I propose running and screaming.
Jared: < o_o > I have no objections.
John: (yelling at Unit-02 and pointing in the direction of the battle)
Shouldn't you be taking care of that Angel?
[The three make tracks.]
Asuka: COME BACK HERE YOU JERKS!(18)
Andy: < -_-; > (running) Now what?
Jared: < ^_^ > (running) Simple, like that one episode, we wait until
Asuka goes down and get into the plug where it's safe.
John: < -_- > (running) You mean where you can be close to Asuka.
Jared: < ^_^; > (running) Bite me.
John: < -_-; > (running) I don't think that will work.
Jared: < o_o > (running) Why not?
John: (comes to a stop) She's already left us alone.
Jared: (stumbling to a halt) Damn it! I told you guys not to turn back
there!
Andy: (halts, backs up several steps) Who was screaming 'run for your
lives' a few seconds ago?
Jared: (arms crossed) Some other pedestrian.(19)
John: Suuuuuuuure. If we managed to get Asuka's attention, then maybe
Misato saw us. (Noticing Jared and Andy starting to drool) She may
send a medical crew out to look at us in case we're injured or
something.
Andy: So what's the plan?
Jared: Any ideas? ... Aww, who am I talkin' to. It's time to invade
NERV.
Andy: Why?
Jared: I'm bored. (shrugs) We have nothing better to do.
John: Oh, so you want to run from NERV security now?
Jared: I hadn't thought about that...
John: < -_- > Big surprise.
Jared: Well fine, mister smarty pants! How do you propose that we get
into NERV, the most secretive and powerful agency in the United
Nations?(20)
John: < ^_^ > The American way.(21)
Andy: Buy them out?
Jared: We don't have any yen.
Andy: Well then, I guess that plan was shot down before it took off.
John: < -_-;;; > I had meant through trickery and deceit.
Andy and Jared: Aaaahhh.
[Minutes pass as the three Americans try to come up with a
foolproof plan. A plan of that type means that even _they_ can't
mess it up. Unfortunately, they can't agree on any one single
plan. Jared wants to try and sweet talk his way in. John points
out that's how Asuka became pissed off at them. Andy's plan is
to come in a la JSSDF in "End of Evangelion." John points Andy
to the fact that they have neither battleships, tanks, hover
gunships, N2 mines, or even Mass Production Model Evas.]
Andy: Yeah, yeah, but it would be cool if we did have any of those
things.
John: That isn't exactly the best way to win them over.
Jared: Besides if we had MP models, we wouldn't need NERV. We could just
fly back to the States.
Andy: (sarcastically) Ah, Yes. And then we'd be attacked by 'our'
military which could kick these wimps' asses from here to Pluto!
Jared: (looking around the corner at the approaching ambulances) Well we
better come up with something quick. John, what's your plan?
[There is a pause. Jared pulls back from the corner and joins
Andy in staring at the John-shaped hole in the air.(22)]
Andy: < 0_0 > John?
[The ambulances arrive. Jared and Andy are quickly checked for
injuries and then the medical team and the two start looking for
the third.]
[What they come upon is a scene straight from Total Recall. John
appears to be lying in a pool of his own blood in the center of
a blast crater. Saliva is foaming from his mouth as his limbs
convulse in odd angles. The surrounding area is totally
destroyed as water from broken pipes drip onto frayed wires
causing small sparks.]
Jared: I can't leave you alone for two seconds!
Andy: Dibs on his hat!
[The medics rushed over to John and carefully secure his
twitching body onto a gourney. Andy snatches the hat from John's
head as his semi-corpse passes like a grave robber and tries it
on, only to toss it back because it doesn't fit.(23) The medics
file them all into the ambulances heading back towards NERV
headquarters. Jared suddenly realizes the extent of the situa-
tion in a rare moment of sane intelligence.]
Jared: (thinking) Holy cow, John mysteriously getting killed is going to
get us into NERV!
Andy: (thinking) ... (out loud) So if John dies, who gets his stereo?
[This brings to mind the image of one of them dying in the
desert and the others descending on their fallen comrade like
vultures to use his shin bones for flutes. Though, none of them
can play, nor have any use for a flute.]
________________________________________________________________________
[It is in record time that John's body is dumped on a hospital
bed several levels deep into NERV.(24) The battle has been won
and as far as the two conscious members can ascertain, both
Asuka and her Eva are reasonably well.]
Jared: (in a sage voice) Perhaps we three stones have altered this
mighty river's path.
Andy: (in a Yoda voice) Hmmm, change good, but know this, beware the
dark side of Eva. Strong, it is.
John: (suddenly sitting up acting perfectly healthy) Vultures.
[Jared and Andy scream and assume Little Takahashi Devil Pose
#35: We've been discovered!(25)]
Andy: John! You're alive!
Jared: How'd you do that, man?!
John: (spitting out an antacid tablet from his mouth) Sorry, trade
secret.
Andy: And Asuka didn't lose as far as we can tell.
John: Oh my God! We've changed the entire plot of Eva!(26)
Authors: (breathe a sigh of relief) ...
Andy: (to no one in particular) You bastards!
John: (ignoring Andy) So, did it work? Are we in NERV?
Jared: Hell yeah.
John: (assuming a Montgomery Burns pose) Excellent.(27)
[John's pleasure is cut short when he notices a tube sticking
out of his arm. His eyes follow the tube up to an IV bag with
the Japanese name of a powerful sedative.]
John: < -_- > This isn't good.
[The drugs begin to take effect and John passes out for real
this time, occasionally coming to in order to spout quotes from
random works of literature.(28)]
Jared: Well, crisis diverted.
Andy: Now what do we do?
Jared: (without missing a beat) Panic.
Andy: Hmm?
John: (slurred singing) A vury murry un-berfday to you...
Andy: Oh _that_.
[_That_ is the entrance of three of the four main babes of the
series.(29)]
[Jared has been trying, really trying to follow the advice of
John, before that little incident with the medical technicians,
but he was never one for following anyone's advice but his own.
So what if he's going to put his foot in his mouth a few dozen
times? It has happened before, it will happen again; best not to
be afraid of it.(30)]
[He doesn't have time dwell on said advice any further, because
at that point, three people he knows better than he had any
right to walk into the room. Asuka is looking red, in places
other than her plug suit. Misato is... well, pissed off. Ritsuko
doesn't seem perturbed at all, just watching Jared and Andy like
a hawk, of course.]
Jared: Ah... hello?
Misato: <Japanese>(31)
Jared: Sorry babe, I only know about five words worth of Japanese, not
counting food and cars.
[Asuka glares a bit. Then she glares a bit more. Jared smiles
hugely and Andy puts his head in his hands, subtly moving away
from Jared, lest he get caught up in the cross-fire.]
Asuka: (grumbling) I'm translating.
Jared: A pleasure, Ms. Sohryu, as always.
Misato: (harshly) <Japanese>(32)
Jared: (cutting Asuka out before she could translate) An explanation?
Sure.
[Misato narrows her eyes. Asuka has barely opened her mouth when
Jared cut her off, and decides to just look angrily in his
general direction while trying to ignore him.]
Jared: We have no idea how we got here, but the last thing I clearly
remember before we showed up outside of Tokyo-3 was stupid here
(indicating Andy) putting the next Eva tape in the VCR.(33) There
was some special effects, then WHAMMO! We're in Tokyo-3.
Actually, we weren't sure which Tokyo this was at first, but I
guess we're lucky, eh?
[Silence.]
[More silence.(34)]
John: WELCOME TO THE MAIN EVENT!!! LET'S GET READY TO
RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLEEEE!!!!!!!!!
[Everyone in the room pauses to blink at the drugged teenager.]
Misato: <Japanese>
Asuka: (grinning) Misato says to cut the shit or she'll shoot you in the
kneecap.
Andy: (leaning into view) Which one?
Jared: Not now, Andy.
Andy: < ^_^ > Well if it's my left kneecap I wouldn't mind as much.(35)
Jared: I said not now, Andy.
[Misato and Ritsuko grow sweat drops as Asuka translates the
aside conversation for them.]
Misato: <Japanese>
Asuka: (smiling evilly) Now she says she'll just shoot you in the
nuts... Both of them. (Andy backs away quickly) So spit it out.
[Andy is pressed up against the wall, eyeing the nearby vent
cover with a look of longing as Jared (fearless, as usual)
prepares to partake in the age-old Waddell practice of seeing
just how far his foot will fit down his throat before he is
knocked unconscious. Or maybe he just has a death wish, or has
gone insane from their little jump in. Of course, this is
Jared... his sanity was never in question.]
[He just never had any to begin with.]
Jared: (to Asuka) I assure you personally that what follows is nothing
but the complete truth. While I would like nothing better to
whisk you personally away for an evening to wine and dine, then
fuck your brains out, I have more pressing matters to attend to.
[Asuka is livid, and Ritsuko looks just a little bit pale. John
begins mumbling something in his stupor, vaguely making gestures
of indeterminate intent, most likely reenacting the swordfight
in Hamlet.]
Jared: (continuing, unfazed by his audience's response) Namely,
surviving. I take it living here with no identity, no history, no
records and no one to trust can't be a good thing, so it's your
help I need. Soon, however, I believe it's my help that you'll be
needing.
[Andy looks at the room's only door, then to John's bed,
calculating how long it (or John) would hold out as a piece of
makeshift armor for when Asuka goes ballistic.]
[Asuka is already reaching for her mallet when the final
sentence hits her flaming brain. She lets go of the semi-
materialized weapon. Though it _is_ perfect for pounding down
perverts, she feels she is really going to need both hands free
if she is going to choke the American to death.]
[Jared deals with the situation in the best way he can. Blocking
and dodging precariously, he swiftly removes John from the
hospital bed and uses it as a long-range weapon, keeping Asuka
at bay while Misato calls security and Andy tries to hide behind
Ritsuko.]
[Somehow, a flicker of intelligence graces Jared's mind while he
dodges various kicks Asuka sends his way. He retains the
presence of mind to cover John, who is far from capable of
regaining the vertical anytime soon. Finally, he puts his plan
into action.]
Jared: NINJA VANISH!(36)
[Click.]
[With the lights out--courtesy of Andy--Asuka screams in
frustration, and chaos ensues.]
John: Half a league, half a league, half a league onward. Into the
valley of death rode the six hundred.(37)
[By the time Ritsuko hits the switch (three seconds even), two
of the three Americans have indeed disappeared. They can't have
very well left the room, opening the door would have let light
in from the hall. The vent grate on the wall is open, but it is
the sound of strained curses that draws the attention of the
three women in the room to the ceiling, where Jared hangs by his
fingernails, and Andy, wedged into a corner, is gripping conduit
outcroppings.]
John: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I
shall fear no evil for Asuka is in pursuit and that Valley's
looking mighty fine in comparison.
Jared and Andy: Amen, brotha.
[Presently, they managed to untangle Asuka from the remains of
the bed, brought in a new one, and found someone else with the
security clearance to translate, in the form of NERV heartthrob,
Roji Kaji.(38) Jared just sat in the back with his two broken
fingers and made small talk with John while Andy just did a
recap of what had happened since they arrived. No one had yet
removed the IV from John's arm.]
Jared: This is crazy.(39)
John: (mouth taped shut by Asuka) Mmmrghff.(40)
Jared: I know, but some more work and it'll work. Have some faith!
John: MmmRRRRghhhummm.
Jared: Well, at least I thought it would work. Man, she is short
tempered.
John: MmmmMMmmmm.
Jared: Yeah, maybe if I wasn't such a per-- HEY! This is all Andy's
fault anyhow, what did he do to that VCR?
[Interrupting John, Andy whisks the bed out from under his
blubbering associate and slams it into Jared's head, then
returns to his explanation.]
John: Mmmmnnnmmnnmnmrrrr.
Kaji: Isn't anyone going to unhook that kid from the bag?(41)
Andy: (looks at John, looks at the bag, looks at John) No.
[Misato shakes her head. Asuka shakes her head. Ritsuko shakes
her head. Jared wakes up and shakes his head. John leaps to his
feet in a muffled quotation from Braveheart. In doing so he
accidentally knocks the tube out of himself and passes out
again. Kaji shrugs.]
Kaji: <Japanese> Hey Rit-chan, how long will the kid be out now?
Ritsuko: <Japanese> It may be a while. He's taken in a lot. I don't know
how he survived the explosion... without even a loss of limb.
No burn marks or broken bones, either. Nothing. He was just
twitching and was covered in blood. It's the oddest thing.
Jared: Um, from the looks you're giving John there, I would assume
you're wondering what happened to him.
Kaji: Among other things.
Andy: Somehow John has hired Hollywood's greatest prop men and recreated
a scene out of Total Recall in under fifteen seconds.
[Everyone stares at Andy, occasionally glancing at John.]
Jared: I don't think so. Somehow John came up with a pint of movie
blood, found a nearby location damaged from a missed round from
the pistols the Evas use and made like Prince's career.(42)
Misato: (translated by Kaji) And does John usually carry around pints of
human blood?
Andy: Only when he needs to.
Jared: Seriously? You've known him longer than I have.
Andy: Actually, I have no idea where John got the blood from.
Jared: (pointing at Misato) Wait, you said human blood?!(43)
Misato: (nodding)
[Jared licks his lips, causing the others in the room to stare.
He ignores the looks and returns to normal, remaining quiet.
Several minutes pass.]
Ritsuko: (translated) His same blood type. If it was corn syrup of
something similar, we'd have detected it, but the only thing we
couldn't find was the wound.
Andy: (to John's unconscious body) You slick SOB.
[Misato's cellphone rings. She answered it quickly.]
Misato: Moshi moshi? (straightening up on reflex before continuing)
<Japanese>.
Andy: (whispering to Jared) Must be Gendo on the line.
Jared: (whispering to Andy) Don't you just love the way, her jacket
parts and her tits stick out when she comes to attention?
Kaji: (whispering to both of them) Item one, all you get to do is enjoy
the view. Item two, I'm probably under too much stress right now,
but I actually believe your story.
Misato: <Japanese>
Kaji: <Japanese>?
Ritsuko: <Japanese>?!
Asuka: <JAPANESE>!!!
Andy: I suspect 'baka' is a term of mutual respect.(44)
Misato: (shrugging) <Japanese>
Ritsuko: (sitting down with her head in her hands) <Japanese>
Andy: (waving his arms) Heeellloooo? Are we suddenly invisible?!
Asuka: <JAPANESE>!
Misato: <Japanese>
Kaji: <Japanese>?
Ritsuko: <Japanese>
Kaji: Well fellas, I don't know who you are, but it seems that you made
quite an impression on the old man. Welcome to NERV.
[As the two conscious Americans begin a celebratory dance, Asuka
reaches for another mallet.]
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
End Episode 1
Next Episode: (John Voice Over) (cue intelligible sounds) askh kjnn,
wkeon... a jkl jihe andfweweoon nnskn ppwk k knfn af. Lkkn .... kehish k
ke nnk sooqqp snndkkf. Lassshe kdif xcv neiso? Hskek skahieo loovleks
abrosondk sohhjwk apmn zbcqoojdjoemem she mmks eh dooooojdne insnk
e. Htkj sniahkhe he wookandk wo... TSH TIOSK ENNS EOHTHSO!!!(45)
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
(1) As of right now (8:55 PDT, 9/17/2002), I (Jared Waddell) cannot
remember who wrote this opening.
(2) The author knows the goons are in Tokyo-3. The reader knows the
goons are in Tokyo-3. The goons, as of yet, do NOT know they are in
Tokyo-3.
(3) Actually, just visible human life. The place isn't a ghost town, but
no one is outside to meet them, so the effect is similar.
(4) This implies we could ignore just about anything if we were occupied
with arguing amongst ourselves.(46)
(5) He does this all the time, folks.
(6) More like thirty or forty, but that's counting a bunch of Japanese
companies (electronics and cars), martial arts names, counting to
ten, etc.
(7) EEW! I mean... EEEEWW!!!
(8) Lowering, actually, like big elevators. There's also these huge
shield doors which close off the resulting square hole in the
ground.
(9) The seventh Angel, Israfel, to be precise.
(10) No, the Angel has not split into three pieces, let alone two.(47)
(11) Because, when all else fails, blame someone else!
(12) Yes, that's Major. As in Major Katsuragi.(48)
(13) An excellent plot device, wouldn't you say?(49)
(14) Obviously, she's thinking this in Japanese, but we've been so kind
as to translate such that one doesn't have to be bilngual to read
this story.
(15) WOO-HOO! ... Sorry, I got swept up in the emotion.
(16) Yes, I do have a tendency to ramble on about the most pointless
details in situations like these.
(17) Just out of arm's reach, usually. At the moment this is happening,
it's in an alternate plane of existence, at the back of his closet,
in his room.
(18) Yes, an Evangelion is far fast than a normal human when on foot,
but the mass property damage that would result from her chasing the
Americans is begging for an epic lecture in responsibility and
possible suspension from her pilot status.
(19) For the record, there are NO pedestrians wandering about at the
moment.(50)
(20) Think they aren't powerful? The amount of paperwork necessary to
build an Evangelion. And how much those things cost? Yikes!
(21) Just for reference: The 'American Way' is trickery and deceit.
Everything thinkgs (wrongly) that it is bribery.
(22) Can you believe that? He does this _all_ the _time_!
(23) I'm not one to measure my friend's mellons, but Andy wears a pretty
big hat.
(24) Sub-section 18. Level 21Z. They never showed this one in the anime.
(25) Little Takahashi Devil pose in honor of Rumiko Takahashi, creator of
Ranma 1/2 and Urusai Yatsuri.
(26) The plot of Neon Genesis Evangelion, you see, never (at any time)
included three nutty Americans.
(27) Montgomery J. Burns, from the animated television series "The
Simpsons," originally created by Matt Growing.(51)
(28) And cable television, movies, etc....
(29) Doctor Ritsuko Akagi, Major Misato Katsuragi, Second Children Asuka
Langly Sohryu.
(30) 'Think before you open your mouth.' Or, to quote the Ruroni Kenshin
OAV, 'Taste your words before speaking them to ensure they are
palatable.'(52)
(31) Translation: "All right. Who are you?"
(32) Translation: "Identify yourselves!"
(33) Incorrect. The next tape was tape #3 (episodes 5 & 6). Andy put tape
#5 (episodes 9 & 10) in the VCR.
(34) You _could_ hear a pin drop, if anyone had dropped one.(53)
(35) He does this all the time.
(36) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles the movie (live action), spoken by
Shredder's right hand man, Tatsu.
(37) "Chare of the Light Brigade," by Baron Alfred Tennyson. This is
part of a poem written during the Victorian era to glorify a
military blunder the English made during the Crimean War.
(38) Couriously, the fourth babe is still absent.
(39) Yes. Yes it is.
(40) John is having no part in this conversation. Jared is basically
making up his responses himself by imagining what John would say.
(41) Obviously, being fluent in English, Kaji speaks to the goons in
their native language.
(42) 80's pop singer. You may have seen him in the movie "Purple Rain"
or maybe not. Several of Kevin Smith's films have reference both to
this movie and Prince. In the early ninties, Prince essentially
disappeared from public light, though he is gaining some popularity
(mostly in the form of parody, like this) in recent times.
(43) At least, that was part of the translation, as Misato was still
speaking Japanese and Jared was still speaking Moron.
(44) Actually, the literal translation of baka is 'fool' or 'idiot.'
(45) Translation: Later.
(46) Yes, we pretty much can.
(47) Continuity bridge burnt? Check.
(48) Continuity bridge burnt and never to be rebuilt? Check.
(49) Okay, okay, we were being lazy.
(50) If there were, they would be shouting things like "Look out, it is
an Angel!" and "Run for your lives!"
(51) Hunh? The pose? Well, press your right fingertips to your left
fingertips, centering your hands up under your chin, about 1 foot
away from your body. There. You got it.
(52) Because, as you are about to see, my mouth gets away from me quite
frequently.
(53) Doesn't _that_ bring an image to mind.
(54) Now, who will get all of those references?
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Ver 1.0 Jul 6, 2001
Ver 1.1 Sep 22, 2002
[Back]