A very nasty plot bunny bit me this morning and this is the result. I tried to be nice but the little bugger turned malevolent. This is a first for me so heed the warning.

Category:Drama

Ratings/warnings: pg-13. Deathfic Warning

Pairings: none

Spoilers: none

Disclaimers: The Due South Characters Belong to Alliance.

April Fools

by Marian

"Hot damn. It's March 31st. It's payday and I've got a hot date tonight. I'm

feeling lucky. I'm going to the 7-11 to buy some lotto tickets.

Anyone want anything?"

Tom Dewey received shocked stares.

"What, can't I be nice once in a while?"

"Yeah right " said Jack Huey, "What's the catch?"

"Ha ha, funny guy" sniped Tom.

Frannie handed some money to Tom, asking,

"Could you get me a diet coke and some scratch tickets?"

"Sure thing Francesca" said Tom, grinning.

Later that morning Tom set a sack and a stack of files on Frannies desk.

"Here's your coke and tickets Frannie. I didn't know which ones you wanted so, I got a bunch of different ones."

"Thanks Tom, it's nice to know that someone other than Fraser can be a gentleman. Hey, are you okay?"

Tom had a very peculiar look on his face as though he was trying to hold his breath.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Will you look at the time. Gotta go."

Frannie started to clear her desk before her shift ended, when she saw an envelope under some files. Opening it, she read:

"The honor of your presence is requested for lunch tomorrow Please

. meet me at your desk at noon. "

It was unsigned This would have creeped her out but something about the note seemed familiar. The language seemed very formal and the only man who spoke and wrote like that was... Fraser.

*No, wait...Reality check Frannie, * She thought, *He has not been interested in you before *

Her hopeful side piped up, *But maybe he's changed his mind *

Before rationality reasserted itself she hugged the card to her chest and sighed.

Her eyes widened as she caught a familiar scent from the card. It smelled like the stuff, Fraser oiled his belt with.

*What is that stuff? .Ah... Neatsfoot Oil. That clinches it, this has to be from Fraser * Frannie concluded happily.

Smiling, she caught sight of her unused scratch tickets. She scratched the first of three. There were no matching dollar amounts. On the second card there were two out of three matching dollar amounts so, again she lost.

On the third ticket she scratched off all boxes and found a winning match of three. At first glance she thought she won ten dollars but, looking closer, she saw there were more zeros. Trembling she saw there were three matches of ten thousand dollars. She let out a whoop of joy.

Ray Kowolski was startled and looked up, asking "Hey Frannie, what's the deal?"

Opening her mouth to share the news Frannie stopped. Remembering the trouble the last time she had a winning ticket (despite what her brother said) She quickly covered.

"Er... There's a sale at Saks. Dresses are fifty percent off. See you later."

She then headed towards Welsh's office. With the lotto claim office closed for the day, She knew she needed time off the next day to get her winnings.

Nearly dancing with excitement, she asked her boss for a personal day.

She was disappointed when he said "I'm sorry Miss Vecchio, I need you to file this months reports tomorrow. If you finish early, you can take tomorrow afternoon off."

Antsy but not discouraged she left the 27th. Seeing Fraser's card reminded her of lunch.

* Hmmmm, A date with Fraser then off to pick up ten grand. Tomorrow is going to be a great day *

The next day Frannie brought a newly purchased, very expensive dress in a garment bag. She wanted to wear it to lunch with Fraser and look nice when she picked up her money.

As the morning wore on, she ran around like a ferret on caffeine trying to finish the filing. She managed to do this despite tripping over people, breaking three nails, and ruining her hairdo. At noon she had finished, ran to the ladies room, slipped into the dress, and repaired the damage to her hair in record time.

When she returned to the bullpen, she saw Fraser at her desk.

Excitedly, she spoke, "I'm sorry I'm late. Would you mind if we went to lunch downtown? You won't believe it but I won ten thousand in the lotto."

Fraser started to get the look Frannie had come to recognize as his Deer-in-the-headlights look. Misinterpreting it, she pulled out the ticket and gave it to him to peruse.

"See, here it is. God I'm so excited."

Throwing her arms around him she asked "Will you go with me to claim the money?"

"I'd like to Francesca but.."

"Thank you." She punctuated this with a kiss on his cheek.

"Francesca, I don't...."

"Thank you." This was followed by another kiss.

"Francesca!"

She stopped when she saw that Fraser appeared alarmed

"What is it?"

"Well... I'm not sure... That is, to say..I was going to ask if you had seen a tin of neatsfoot oil that I had left around here and then Tom said you wanted to see me about one of the files you sorted this morning. I am truly sorry but Ray and I are helping on a security detail for a cooperative Canadian/American film production. So I cannot accept your invitation to lunch."

"Wait, It was you who invited me to lunch, Fraser"

"I'm sorry but I never..."

"This is your card, isn't it? It smells like that oil you use and it sounds like you and..."

A hyena like laugh erupted from Tom Dewey who stood watching this exchange between Fraser and Frannie. He held up the can of neatsfoot oil that Fraser had been looking for.

"I couldn't resist. I gotcha both. April Fools!"

Fraser turned beet red. Frannie looked at the stares of her co-workers and bit her lip to maintain her composure.

"Well, the jokes on you Tom. You got me a winner in the lottery."

Tom laughed harder "Read the fine print on the back sweetheart."

Fraser had scanned the back of the card he still had in his hand.

"I'm sorry Francesca, this is not a real ticket."

"Let me see it."

"There's no need..."

"Let me see! " she shouted

The back of the ticket read:

For novelty purposes only

Odds in winning: Never

Anyone trying to redeem this card has been had. You will .

` receive the amount of bupkis, zero, nada.

The only prize here is the Prize Idiot holding this card

Tom laughed. Frannie looked at the others in the room. A few lips twitched in amusement but it was the look of pity in Fraser eyes that had her running to the restroom.

In the bullpen, Ray Kowolski stood toe to toe with Dewey.

"You are such an asshole."

"Hey you laughed at first."

"I always laugh when she puts the moves on him. Setting her up for a phony date with that card and the fake lotto ticket making her look like a moron was cruel."

"Ah c'mon. It was funny, right Jack?"

"Leave me out of this." Tom's partner replied

"Christ, some people can't take a joke."

Ray said to Fraser, "Let's go. We've got to make the streets of Chicago safe for the crazy stunts these movie people will pull."

"One moment Ray."

Approaching the ladies room Fraser knocked

"Francesca, can I talk to you?"

"Go away."

"Please, I'll be waiting in the interview room."

Francesca eventually appeared at the door of the room. Fraser held out a chair for her to sit in.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you were going to be subject to this."

Fraser softly said.

As if seeing him for the for the first time she looked into his eyes for a long time. Sensing his discomfort, She finally spoke.

"It's okay Fraze, I'm not gonna jump you. The joke was on both of us.

I get it now. You don't like me.."

"Of course I like you." he protested.

"You just don't like me in a romantic way."

"I never wanted to hurt you," he said gently

"I know. You never led me on or lied. I had just hoped.."

Tears welled up in her eyes and spilled over "damn. That son of a bitch Tom knew which buttons to push...I'm s.sorry, I just.." She swallowed a sob "And when I read the back of the ticket it was like the word "Idiot" was stamped on my forehead as well as on the paper. I feel like such a fool."

"Perhaps if you joined me for dinner you might feel better."

"Please...Don't.. I don't want a pity date."

"But you are my friend."

"Maybe later. I just need to be alone."

A knock sounded at the door and Ray poked his head in

"C'mon pitter patter Fraser. We got to watch movie stars throw themselves off a building."

"Gee can I join them. I feel like going off the deep end." quipped Frannie. As a joke, her words fell flat. Ray suddenly got an evil gleam in his eyes.

"Frannie- Come with us."

At the end of the day chaos erupted in the bullpen. As the detectives ran by him, Tom asked "What's going on?"

"Its Frannie. She's on the roof, threatening to jump."

"What!!!"

As the dim twilight fell the squad gathered on the roof of the 27th.

Tom tried to squeeze through but was blocked. He peered over Welsh's shoulder saw the Mountie in his Stetson and the Back of Frannie's head.

"Please don't jump." A funny sounding Fraser pleaded

"Everyone stay back" ordered Welsh "Let the Mountie handle this."

"Stay Back Fraser. " a tearful voice wailed.

"Franchesca. Please" Fraser held out his hand.

"Leave me the hell alone. You don't love me. Who could love me? I' m an idiot like the lotto ticket said. I fell for not one but two tricks today. How stupid does that make me? My brother is right, no one respects me."

"I respect you," said Fraser, inching closer.

"Stop lying to me. You get so much goddam respect parading around in red. Who notices me? Screw this. If I can't have love and respect, I might as well be dead."

She stepped off into space, Fraser dashed forward and grabbed one of her arms. But, gravity, her weight and his forward inertia sent them over the edge of the roof plummeting towards the ground.

A collective scream came from the group assembled of the roof.

"Nooooo." cried Ray

"Stay back," shouted Welsh as he held Ray away from the edge "We need to get down there."

Ray then moved towards the stairway. When he encountered Tom, he pushed him.

"Get out of my way, you bastard. You did this to them."

Welsh moved between them "Dewey stay here or Kowolski will beat the crap out of you if you stay too close. IAD is going to want to question you on this.

Tom staggered towards the door to the stairs.

Welsh continued" You may want to have your PBA lawyer present. Let's get to my office

As Tom got closer to the bullpen, the weight of his actions descended on him. Too stunned to even cry he gazed at the world in shock.

As he entered the room and started towards Welsh's office. He froze and started to shake. He then detoured to the men's room. Jack moved to follow him but was stopped by Ray.

"Let him stew for a while."

Fraser and Francesca entered the bullpen and took a bow.

Ray started to laugh; Jack, Welsh, and the other detectives laughed.

Frannie didn't laugh but looked smug in her vindication. Fraser smirked. A man in Mountie serge entered the bullpen, as did a dark haired woman. The squad stared. These looked like doubles for Fraser and Frannie. There was applause as these two took a bow.

Ray went to the woman and hugged her. He then shook hands with the man.

"Thanks Candy, thanks Hank. I owe you one."

"Damn straight" Candy replied "If the union finds out we took an airbag off the set and took a fall without being paid scale, we'll be fined. "

Chuckling, Ray replied "I'll see you on the set tomorrow?"

" No way. You are gonna buy us dinner. Stunt work is a hungry business." Said Hank.

"Actually, Ray, since Hank was kind enough to take a fall for me and Candy did likewise for Francesca, I'd be honored to buy these talented people dinner."

"What about me Fraze?" piped up Frannie

"I thought you did not want to join me for dinner."

"This is a victory celebration."

Welsh went towards the men's room, still chuckling.

"Shall I tell Tom now, Ray?" Fraser started to follow the leftenent.

"Nah, Fraser, let Frannie do the honors later."

Frannie smiled and said "I can't wait to see the look on his face when I say:

"April Fools""

"CHRIST TOM, STOP!"

Time seemed to slow as a gunshot rung out from the men's room. Welsh ran out, grabbed a phone and...

"SHOTS FIRED! OFFICER DOWN!

the end