euromen

Just a few days ago, I was sitting at home complaining about not being able to find a man. Not just any man now, I want a sexy bitch who likes me for me.
When you're bitter and cynical, like a certain person writing this, and you live in the podunk midwest, you're probably not going to find a sexy bitch to begin with. Sure, dreaming about music and film stars can be a temporary substitue for finding your sexy bitch, but inevitalbly, you realize that you'll never be able to be in some sort of relationship with him.
So what are we poor midwestern gals to do? Are we just supposed to accept our wannabe cowboys and rappers and convince ourselves to be attracted to them?
Sisters, I have advice for you. Go to Europe. Why, in one day, I had three different guys phone numbers, and each one was a beautifully crafted sexy bitch in tight pants. The cases in point: Heinrich, Dieter, and Neik.
Let's start with Heinrich, since he was the first one I met. I was travelling alone to Frankfurt, and I ended up sitting next to the blond haired blue eyed twenty one year old during the flight. Let's see... how to describe Heinrich... Nick Carter from the Millenium CD, except with a wider jaw, more square face, and glasses. I just wanted to stare in his beautiful eyes for the eight hour flight. Alas, I could not, since then he would freak out and trade his seat with some fat man.
I want to thank my friend from the music group I was in that toured Europe who persuaded me to buy the Deutchland and Nederland patches/flags, and then my mom for sewing them on my backpack. I just had to pull my Steven King novel out from it right as Heinrich was looking at me.
So all of the sudden, Heinrich asksi f I lived in either country. I told him that my dad had been in the US army, so we travelled a lot, and that I used to live in Staadtskaanal. Of course, I didn't include that the time I lived there was from about age 1-5 when we moved to Podunk Ohio.
I asked him why he was flying to Frankfurt, and he told me that he was taking classes at a college in Michigan, but that his grandmother had passed away, and he needed to go to Munich for the funeral.
Right then I said to myself, 'self, I think you need to console this sexy bitch.' Of course I didn't say it out loud... that would have sent him running for the toilets.
After three hours of talking, Heinrich and I were both tired, and the inflight movie sucked. Being the gentleman, Henrich offered to move over one seat (we were the only two in a three seat row) so I could stretch out to sleep. It was a nice gesture, but quite uncomfortable. My ass was already asleep from sitting on the plane, and now my leg was falling asleep.
So I sat up again and figured I would let Heinrich stretch out. Instead, he just smiled as he looked at me.
"You can use me for a pillow Jaci" (that's pronounced Yah-Kee for those illiterate in German/Dutch)
Right then and there I just wanted to kiss him, but I chickened out and just stretched across the seats and Heinrich, while he reclined in the aisle seat, with his arm draped over me. Needless to say, it was a good flight.
Once we reached Frankfurt, I figured that Heinri would be leaving on a connecting flight soon. I was so happy that his flight was leaving only twenty minutes before mine, and that the gates were next to each other. So since I really didn't sleep on the plane because I was silently screaming at the top of my lungs because I couldn't believe what was happening, I said I wanted to sit down.
We searched the terminal for an open bench, and found one way in the back. He let me lay down across the four seats, while he sat cross legged on the floor in front of me while we talked about pretty much anything and everything.
I commented that the airport was cold. Heinrich gave me his coat, which smelled of cologne, and I put it on top of my own, which is about the size of any letterman's jacket. I looked like a leather clad doughboy because of the layers.
Then I felt really bad because Heinrich was sitting on the floor, in a tight grey t-shirt and jeans, and Frankfurt Main was INCREDIBLY cold. So I offered to let him lay on the bench with me, so you know, we could keep each other warm.
Heinrich accpeted. So we spent the next three hours lying together on a bench in Frankfurt Main. No one said anything to us about this, which was nice.
But he had to leave... and I was sure that I would never see him again... until he handed me a slip of paper with his phone number at school on it.
You'd better believe I'm going to call him.
Then there was Dieter. Dieter is a Lufthansa flight attendant. He had to have seen that I was talking to and sleeping on Heinrich (he was the flight attendant for our aisle) but alas, he was also a sexy bitch. He had dark brown hair but blue eyes, and a cute little dimple in his chin. We really didn't talk, but as I walked out of the plane, he slipped me his phone number. It's in Germany. Dieter, you were cute, and really nice to bring me alcohol, since I'm "underage" in the US, but sorry chap. I'm not going to even try to get in touch with you.
And finally, there is Neik van Gruensven. If you know me, you'll understand why I flipped out when the Dutchman told me his last name. I had to ask if he was related to Anky. He said no, which was dissappointing, but it at least was the spark of a conversation during our two hour train ride from Schiphol to Groningen. Neik had that "Nick Carter" look to him as well. In fact, if I wouldn't have heard him speak, I would have assumed that it was Nick Carter. The name was too odd as well, and I'm certain that half of you are thinking I'm making this part up. But I'm not. Neik is the same age as me, and he lives in the Groningen region of the NL. He smokes Lucky Strikes and has quite a passion for soccer and rugby. But it was just kind of funny that I met him. We talked for the entire time, and well, he's a very nice guy. I'm sure he'll make some Dutch girl very happy. I'm just not in to huge long distance phone bills.

So that was what happened during my journey from Podunk to Groningen. I met three wonderful and beautiful guys. I am going to try to stay in contact with one of them. So girls, don't give up.... your Mr. Right is out there.... he just might live on another continent.