Photographs and memories
Christmas cards you sent to me
All that I have
Are these to remember you

Memories that come at night
Take me to another time
Back to a happier day
When I called you mine

But we sure had a good time
When we started way back when
Morning walks and bedroom talks
Oh, how I loved you then

Summer skies and lullabyes
Nights we couldn't say goodbye
All of these things we knew
Not a dream survived

Photographs and memories
All the love you gave to me
Somehow it just can't be true
That all have left of you

But we sure had we had a good time
When we started way back when
Morning walks and bedroom talks
Oh, how I loved you then

But we sure had we had a good time
When we started way back when
Morning walks and bedroom talks
Oh, how I loved you then

~By Jim Croce

Ever so slowly she lifted her hand from the shoe box, pulling out a worn photograph, the edges tattered, the glossy finish dulled by fingerprints, a tear stain in the corner. She held it reverently, and gazed down at the smiling faces.

She smiled back at them, their grins infectious. Dawson's hair fell just into his deep hazel eyes, Joey's fingers itched to brush the wayward strands away. His eyes were twinkling in merriment, she could still hear his voice telling her that it was no time for a picture.

But he'd been wrong. It was the last time for a picture. A silent tear snaked it's way down her cheek. She shifted her eyes to the person on the left of Dawson, ... Pacey. His wide teasing smile, his blue-green eyes dancing with mischif, his broad shoulders and tosseled hair. He was just so... Pacey.

She sighed deeply, trapped in the memory.

"How did Jen rope us into coming to this again?" Dawson moaned as he took a sip of some pinkish fruit punch and leaned back in the plastic chair he was sitting in. He looked around the heavily decorated gym. Music was blasting, reverbating off the walls.

"Let's see, I needed to come and get pictures for the yearbook..." Joey said holding up a camara.

"I was her transportation..." Pacey said unfolding his arms and pointing to Joey.

"Jen begged me." Jack said, "She pouted until I agreed to come.... and promised to do my laundry."

The group around the table focused on Andie who was bouncing in her seat in time to the music, "What? I wanted to come. You guys are just spoil sports."

"And with the rest of you here, I figured I might as well come..." Dawson answered his own question dejectedly. They slumped in their seats a few minutes watching Andie bounce around. Joey snapped a few pictures hap-hazardly.

"Hey, Jo?" Pacey asked sitting up in his seat, pointing to the camera she held in her hands. "How many pictures do you have?"

"I donno, around a roll and a half." She answered. Pacey raised his eyebrows, speaking to her without saying anything. She nodded slightly to him. Pacey shot Dawson a mischeivous look and shifted his gaze to the double doors at the opposite end of the gym. Dawson and Joey both caught his meaning, she met Dawson's eyes with a small pleading smile.

"Eh? Come on... you know you want to." Pacey enticed. Dawson finally broke out into a smile. "Excellent."

"We're outta here." Dawson and Joey said in unison. Andie and Jack looked mystified at what had just transpired.

"What?" Andie asked, "where are we going?"

"We're leaving." Andie opened her mouth to say something, but before she could get it out Joey interuped her. "It's not exactly like we're having fun here."

"We're wasting valuable time at a paltry high school dance, when we could be watching movies." Dawson added.

"Umm, right Dawson. Do I need to remind you to live in reality again? Movies are not reality. We," he gestured to the people around the table, "Are reality. And we," he gestured again, "dont want to spend yet another evening holed up in your bedroom with Speilburg."

"We'll see," Dawson said ominously.

"What about Jen? She wont exactly appreciate us ditching her. She doesn't want to be here anymore than we do and she can't leave for at least another hour." Jack reminded them.

"We'll leave her a note and sneak out. She wont even know we didn't stay the entire time until she comes looking for us in an hour." Joey told him.

"If we leave a note we have to decide on a place to go so she can meet us." Andie reminded them.

"My house." Dawson suggested as though it were obvious. He never could seem to understand they were tired of watching movies.

"No." All four harshly told them. He looked taken back for a moment, but quickly let it roll of his back.

"Bowling?"

"Ice skating?"

"The jazz club?"

"The Rialto?" Joey shot Dawson a menacing look. He widened his eyes in a 'who me?' way. "What?" He asked innocently, but didn't press it.

"At this rate we'll be here until the dance ends anyway." Jack pointed out.

"Fine, we'll go to Dawson's. But," Pacey pointed to Dawson, "No movies." They wrote a quick note to Jen, telling her to meet them when she could get away.

"How do you propose we make our escape? I'm pretty sure Jen'll notice." Jack asked. "And if she does, she won't let us leave."

"Simple - we dance our way out." Pacey informed them with a smile.

"Uh uh, I've danced with the two of you before... The last thing I need are ten broken toes." Joey shook her head.

"Aww, come on, Jo. I promise, I'll only break three." Pacey teased pulling her from her seat. "Jack, Andie, you go first while Dawson and I argue over who gets to escort Miss. Josephine here to the dance floor." Jack and Andie took off laughing happily..

"Forget it. I'll just take pictures, like I'm supposed to, and conviently end up by the doors." She said with finality and a smile before dissapearing into the gyrating croud.

"Well, shall we, Pacey?" Dawson asked jokingly holding out his hand.

"We shall. So, what'll it be? The Tango? Merengue? The Mambo? Good old fashion square dancing?" Pacey asked as the made their way to the edge of the dance floor in good humor.

"We'll be lucky to make of across the dance floor." Dawson smiled sardonicly. They proceeded to do their own interpretaion of the Tango before making a bee line for the double doors.

They were almost there when Joey appeared camera in hand. "No way, Jo" Dawson protested when he saw her. "This is no time for a picture!" despite himself he couldn't help smiling.

"Oh, why not, Dawson? It's for the yearbook. Don't you want a picture of us dancing together to be preserved for our prosterity... and that of all our classmates?" Pacey added saracastically slapping Dawson on the back.

Joey smiled micheivously as she dissapeared behind her camera lens and snapped their picture. The picture she now held in her hands.

That memory and so many others gave her chills, made her ears ring and her heart ache with a pain that brought her to her knees. She still marveled that she'd been able to live with it every day for the last year.

Joey knew now how she'd gotten through it... hope. Hope that he'd return. She'd only barely survived the year, it had seemed like a decade rather than just 365 days. Every day had been a struggle. Every moment full of heartbreak. Every other thought being of Dawson... and the rest of Pacey. She felt her despair with every ounce of her being. It seeped in through every pore. She'd been drowing in her own tears.

From the day it had happened and Pacey had abandoned her, she had felt hollow. All that existed was her agony. She felt that through and through, day in and day out, in her dreams even. It was that pain that over came her now. Misery invaded her entire body as she closed her eyes to the picture. Not that it helped any, they were still there smiling at her in her mind. She trembled and her eyes burned angrily, her ears rang and the tears fell, cascading slowly down her cheeks.

Joey'd spent the entire weekend locked up in her room, leaving only to use the bathroom and eat. Bessie had tried to talk to her numerous times getting no answer. She had finally just assumed that the anniversary had really gotten to her and left her alone, much to Joey's relief. She wasn't prepared to tell Bessie about Pacey.

---

Pacey was a bundle of nerves as he pulled into a parking spot at the back of the school. He hadn't been able to eat anything that morning, not that he'd even attempted. Sitting at the breakfast table with his father would have been more stress than he could handle that morning.

He nibbled on his bottom lip and his brow began to sweat as he opened the door into the school. Worries were swimming circles in his mind. 'What if no one regonized him? What if they did? What if he had a class with Joey? What would he say to her? What about Jen, Andie and Jack? What would they say? Had Joey told them he was home? Were they even living in Capeside still?'

Pacey's worries eased slightly as he walked slowly down the hall and no one paid any attention to him. He made his way down the hall to the office to pick up his schedule. He furtivly scanned the faces of those he passed. Most were underclassmen, people he didn't know and didn't know him. The few he recognized didn't give him a second glance.

He picked up his new schedule and locker number and headed there. He still had 15 minutes before class started. He was looking at his schedule for a moment and when he looked up again, directly in front of him wide-eyed, was Jack McPhee.

---

Joey struggled to pull her books from her over stuffed bag. Frustrated she threw it to the ground with a growl. "Careful there, Joey. You'll kill them." Joey looked up surprised to see Jen and Andie standing above her, friendly smiles on their faces. Joey's frown deepened.

"What's wrong?" Andie asked, picking up on her friends discontent.

Joey debated inwardly on weither or not she should tell them. She figured they'd find out sooner or later. It was better that they hear it from her than find out the way she had. "He's back." She whispered with no emotion.

---

"You're back!" Jack said shocked. Pacey only nodded, his eyes wide in fear. Jack, ignoring Pacey's resistance pulled him into a manly hug. "It's about time!"

Pacey surprised at Jack's lack of malice returned the hug gratefully after a few shocked moments. He'd dreaded how his return would be recieved. After his encounter with Joey... he had his doubts on how his friends would react to him. "Yeah, it is." He answered, his voice cracking with emotion, "I should have come back long ago."

---

It took them a good minute to understand Joey's meaning. By that time she had turned back to her locker. "He's back?!?" Jen cried.

"Uh huh, came back on Friday." She still didn't turn back to them. They stared at her back trying to comprehend this new turn of events.

"When did you see him?"

"Where did you see him?"

"Did you talk to him?"

"What did he say?"

"Where's he staying?"

"Why didn't he write?"

"Where's he been?"

"Why'd he leave?"

"How long's he staying?"

"Why'd he come back?"

Joey paused as she listed to their questions. Some she had answers to, some she didn't. She tuned them out as her walls began to crumble and she gave into the the silent tears for the second time that morning. She slowly turned back to her friends and in a choked voice whispered, "he-he's ba-ack." her small smile shining through the tears.

---

"Pacey, man. Where've you been?" Jack asked walking beside him through the halls.

"Philly," Pacey answered shortly.

"Where'd you stay?"

"With family."

"How long you staying?"

"Until college."

"Anyone know you're back?"

"Yes."

Jack grabbed Pacey's arm and pulled him into an empty corner of the hall. "Talk to me, Pacey! I'm trying really hard here to understand why it was you left and why all of a sudden, a year later, you return. You have a lot to explain here. You left us. You left Joey when she needed you more than anything."

His voice was deathly low when he continued. "The only thing she's been hoping for over the last year has been for you to come back. You tore her apart when you left." Pacey didn't face Jack, his eyes were focused on the floor. Frustrated, Jack cried out, "She didn't sleep for weeks, Pacey! She only ate when Bessie forced her! As much as you'd like to think you were hurting... she was hurting more. You abandonded her two days after her best friend died! Pacey, how could you?!"

Pacey finally lifted his eyes to the frustrated man in front of him. Jack's tirade was silenced when he saw the sorrow and remorse in Pacey's eyes. "I'm sorry, Jack." He whispered sincerly before pushing his way pass Jack and melting into the croud.

---

Jen and Andie enveloped Joey in a hug, sensing her need for comfort. "What are you going to do?" Andie asked.

"I don't know." She agonized, "We talked Friday night and that ended with me storming away angry."

"That's understandable, Joey." Jen soothed.

"Yeah, except now, I don't know if I'll see him again. Or even if I want to."

"If you did see him, do you think you'd be able to forgive him?" Andie asked.

Joey thought carefully for a moment before answering, her eyes staring off into space. "I really don't know. So much of my life has been tied to him and Dawson. And so much of the misery I've gone through has come from his dissapearance. But at the same time, I think he's the only one who can help me finally come to terms with Dawson's death." She paused and looked to her friends, "What about you guys? Can you forgive him?"

Andie and Jen exchanged a look as the three headed down the hall to their classes. Jen finally spoke just before they parted ways in the hall, "We weren't the one's he abandoned, Joey." Joey nodded accepting that answer.